


Take Me For What I Am (Who I Was Meant to Be)

by Bedalk05



Series: I'll Be Your Shelter [6]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: But they learn morality eventually!, Creature Jaskier | Dandelion, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dubious Morality, Everyone Gets A Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, Found Family, Geralt’s a Horse Boy, Getting Together, Humor, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Other, Soft Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Soft Lambert (The Witcher), Touch-Starved, and finds someone who understands and shares his enthusiasm for once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:08:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 89,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25373647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bedalk05/pseuds/Bedalk05
Summary: Your ordinary succubus tends to like sex. Athanasi isn’t your ordinary succubus. Though they’ve managed to find ways to survive, it’s not without its challenges. So what happens when they are rescued by a handsome blacksmith with a peculiar aura? Cuddling is what happens. A whole lotta cuddling.And as they navigate this strange new concept called “morality” and learn that hugs can be a non-feeding activity too, Athanasi may just find a place to finally belong.
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon/Original Female Character(s), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Original Witcher Character(s)/Original Witcher Character(s)
Series: I'll Be Your Shelter [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1813378
Comments: 702
Kudos: 251





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BookSmartMione](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookSmartMione/gifts).



> This story is gifted to BookSmartMione who had the brilliant idea of a succubus who feeds off of physical affection instead of sex. Thank you my dear!

Athanasi gazes at the bandits with resignation. Out of the many possible ways they’ve been face to face with their mortality, this seems like the least climactic. They suppose they could attempt to put up a fight but they’re so tired of fighting. Fighting for survival, fighting to feed, fighting off the longing burned in their bones. 

Athanasi can feel blood trickle down their throat from where one of the bandits is pressing a knife to their skin while the others ransack Athanasi’s packs. They have no illusions about what comes next once they stop being useful by directing the bandits to their coin.

“Hey fuck faces!” a voice deep like a wolf’s rumble calls. Before any of the bandits can turn towards the sound, an arrow shoots through the eye of the man holding Athanasi. The three other bandits scramble to find the source of the shot but before they can, an arrow flies into a chest, another in a lung, and a third in a stomach. While all three bandits crumple to the forest floor, Athanasi watches with wide eyes as a figure jumps from a tree before gracefully rolling to cushion his fall. “Wait till Kamil and Marya hear about this,” the man mutters to himself with a tiny grin that shines like the sun.

Athanasi gulps as their savior stands to his full height. He is a head taller than Athanasi, his pointed ears that frame a bald head doing nothing to disguise his ancestry. Skin the color of a proud oak seems to shimmer in the fading light as bright amber eyes assess Athanasi. But what catches Athanasi’s attention the most is the man’s aura. Athanasi is so _hungry._ Succubi are created to feed on sexual desire. This proves to be difficult when you fail to feel sexual attraction.

Scorned and cast out to die on their own when the elders determined they were defective over two decades ago, Athanasi has had to learn how to survive through trial and error. After experimentation and near starvation, Athanasi has found that physical intimacy can feed them. Finding creatures interested in physical affection without expecting sex as well has proved to be near impossible however. So Athanasi brushes a hand over a merchant as they exchange coin, pats a drunken villager on the back as they tell a tale, trail fingers down the arm of someone they flirt with and escape before they are expected to follow through on their whispered promises. 

Of course, such fleeting touches barely feeds Athanasi and at some point Athanasi has to sacrifice their comfort for survival. It’s easy to find those tainted with a blood red aura who are looking for a quick and brutal fuck, and even simpler to steal their coin afterwards when there’s nothing left of them but a drained out husk. The repulsiveness of the act never wanes, and the energy Athanasi siphons tastes like rot. But what other choice does Athanasi have? Athanasi didn’t think they had any to be honest, but as they stare at this stranger, they don’t see any sexual desire in his aura. Holy fuck. The possibilities…

“My thanks good sir,” Athanasi stammers, striding towards the man, desperate to touch him. Reaching out an arm, they introduce themselves with a charming smile. “My name is Athanasi. Who may I call my savior?” 

The man studies Athanasi’s hand for a long moment before shaking it, and Athanasi’s knees quiver as they draw in energy from the touch. “Leon,” the man says with a nod, drawing his hand back. Athanasi has to bite on their cheek to hold back a whimper. “You should be more careful in these parts,” Leon grunts, moving towards the bodies to remove and clean his arrows. 

“I surely realise that now,” Athanasi agrees eagerly, following Leon as though a tether holds them together. Slipping the arrows back into his quiver and nodding, Leon turns away. “Safe travels Athanasi.” 

“Wait!” 

Leon turns, raising a brow. Athanasi stares at their outstretched hand and hurriedly pulls it back self-consciously. “Let me pay for a meal. In thanks? Where are you headed?”

“Gulet,” Leon says warily. 

Nodding enthusiastically Athanasi chirps, “Me too!” Of course, that is a blatant lie. Athanasi never has a destination, spending most of their days wandering aimlessly. But this fascinating creature doesn’t need to know that. 

Leon studies Athanasi and the succubus beams at Leon encouragingly. Finally, he hums. “I’d be a fool to turn down a free meal I suppose.”

Hopping in their glee, Athanasi scrambles to pull together their ransacked packs before drawing up beside Leon with a grin. “Lead on my savior,” they proclaim, bumping their shoulder against Leon and quivering at the touch. This man is brimming with energy and it would be so easy to draw it out slowly with each brush of their bodies. Athanasi forces themself to breathe and remember their control. This is one creature Athanasi refuses to drain. Rationing is the name of the game. 

“So Athanasi, what are you doing defenseless and alone in the middle of a forest?” Leon asks casually as they begin walking. 

“Well I was cast out of my home before I was taught the usual self-defense you see, and since I’m disgraced I mostly wander on my own,” Athanasi explains blithely. By Leon’s incredulous stare Athanasi has a sinking feeling they said too much. Athanasi bites their lip. They try to understand what’s expected when holding conversations but it’s so difficult. Cast out at an early age, Athanasi has never really socialized with anyone other than their targets. Knowing how to flirt is ingrained in the fiber of their being. Small talk is not. They suppose they could switch approaches and just flirt with Leon, but the man already seems on edge and Athanasi doesn’t know how that would come across. They’re itching to touch Leon again and Athanasi refuses to compromise their ability to do so by scaring the stranger off. 

“So what do you do when you don’t have a knife to your throat?” Leon asks bemusedly, digging his hands into his pockets and kicking a stray stick out of his path.

The succubus gulps. Pickpocket and steal from the husks of those they sleep with? “Oh, I do odd jobs here and there,” Athanasi answers vaguely, waving their hand in the air. They look away, tapping a finger against the necklace hidden under their tunic. It is from one of Athanasi’s first victims. The woman was cruel and callous but had a pretty opal pendant Athanasi impulsively snatched before slipping out of her window. They don’t know why they keep it, they just do. One of their only possessions they've held onto over the years in fact.

Before Leon can ask any follow up questions, Athanasi tilts their head coyly and bats their lashes. “What about you big boy? What do you do other than saving helpless little humans?” 

Snorting, Leon rolls his eyes and ducks down to a hidden grove where he retrieves his packs. Slinging them on he props his hands on his hips. “For my sanity, please don’t call me big boy again,” he says wryly. 

“Noted!” Athanasi grins before skipping up to where Leon continues forward. 

“I’m a blacksmith,” Leon murmurs. 

“Ooo did you make this?” Athanasi asks, pointing a finger at the golden cuff on Leon’s wrist and “accidentally” brushing along the blacksmith’s arm as they do.

Leon pulls his arm away, curling his wrist into his chest. “My sister made it,” Leon says, and the smile from when he dismounted the tree returns. It’s small yet relaxes the otherwise solemn countenance of the man. “She has a matching one that I made.” 

“How sweet,” Athanasi coos, clapping their hands together. “Is this an elf thing or a sibling thing? I’ve never actually met an elf before.”

Leon’s face shutters and he turns away. Athanasi frowns. What did they say this time? Silence falls between the companions as Leon fails to answer their question and Athanasi swings their arms across their body restlessly. Just those brief touches with Leon has rejuvenated them after weeks of nothing and Athanasi is craving more. They clearly need to step carefully though because this elf is a skittish one.

Soon they reach the village and slip into the first tavern they find. Athanasi orders Leon a large meal of mutton and bread whilst asking for a bowl of stew for themselves to keep up appearances. They like the taste of some food but it’s not the sustenance Athanasi truly needs. Athanasi eyes those strong hands greedily. If they could just- ”What are you doing?” They jolt their head up, blinking into Leon’s guarded expression from where the blacksmith has dragged his seat backwards. 

Glancing down at their outstretched hand, Athanasi shoots Leon a sheepish smile before retreating again. “Sorry! That mutton just looks delicious,” Athanasi says, laughing nervously.

Leon eyes them sceptically before returning to his meal. “Shoulda ordered it for yourself,” he grumbles, taking a bite of his meal before slipping some mutton onto Athanasi’s plate. 

Athanasi blinks down at it before looking back at Leon. “Why did you do that?” they ask with a frown. 

Leon raises his brow. “To keep you from invading my personal space and stealing my meal,” he answers dryly before taking another bite. Athanasi’s frown grows. Why didn’t he just threaten to slit Athanasi’s throat or move tables or cuss them out? That’s what others have done in the past. Mentally shrugging, Athanasi returns to staring at Leon’s hands. So, blatant physical touching won’t work. Good to know. They’ll just have to go down a more subtle route. They can do that. 

Well, they don’t actually know _how_ since their targets are usually wankers who don’t need much convincing to fuck. And Athanasi has never tried to seduce someone into trading just plain physical affection.

On second thought, this might be a bit of a challenge. 

“So what are you doing in Gulet?” Athanasi asks, propping their elbow on the table and leaning their cheek against their palm. 

Leon shrugs. “Don’t really have a purpose. I just like to wander, explore the Continent. Probably will return to my smithy after this.” 

Athanasi latches onto that detail. “Oh? Where is your shop?” Athanasi asks, spinning their spoon idly around their bowl. 

“Hagge.” 

Athanasi was just there a few months ago but if following this creature to Hagge allows them to feed more, they’ll jump on that opportunity. Clasping their hands together Athanasi exclaims, “I’ve always wanted to travel to Hagge!”

Leon slams his fork down before planting his hands on the table. “Okay. What the fuck do you want from me?” Leon growls. 

Athanasi tilts their head in consideration, unfazed by the threat inherent in their companion’s stormy expression. From past experience, Athanasi has learnt that if they answer this question with the truth, they are usually run out of town or worse. “Is it so hard to believe that I coincidentally want to travel to Hagge?” Athanasi asks weakly. 

“Yes,” is the firm reply. 

Athanasi slumps, turning to stare out the tavern window to collect their thoughts. Well, maybe a censored truth then. “I don’t have anywhere to go,” Athanasi murmurs. Turning to look at Leon they shrug. “You seem like a fellow I wouldn’t mind traveling with.” 

Leon blinks before crossing his arms and glowering. “Who says I’m looking for a travel partner?” 

“Your aura,” Athanasi says casually, taking a sip of their cold stew. They freeze however at the knife now in Leon’s grasp. Ah, yes, this is familiar territory. Usually this is the part where Athanasi flees but Leon’s energy is pulsing off of his body and Athanasi is still so _hungry._

“What are you?” Leon says lowly. 

Encouraged by the lack of impalement they are experiencing so far, Athanasi shoots Leon their most friendly smile. “I’m a succubus!”

Athanasi doesn’t expect Leon’s laughter but they can’t complain. It’s booming and takes up Leon’s entire being. Athanasi props their chin on the palm of their hands and simply admires the joy emanating off of the odd creature. Slowly calming down, Leon shakes his head. “Sorry buddy, but you may wanna find another food source,” he chuckles, amber eyes twinkling with mirth. As Athanasi gazes into Leon’s amused expression their heart does a strange little flip. Huh. It’s never done that before. Athanasi hopes it’s not defective; they’re pretty sure they can’t get a new one. 

Grinning, Athanasi leans forward eagerly. “See, that’s where you’re wrong! You don’t like sex. I don’t either! We’re a perfect match!”

Athanasi squeaks as they find themselves tugged across the table by their tunic with a knife against their neck for the second time in one day. “How the fuck do you know that?” Leon hisses.

“Take it outside,” the barkeep calls before returning to where she’s drying a glass. 

Growling, Leon grabs their packs before dragging Athanasi out the door whilst the succubus follows obediently. When they make it outside, Leon presses Athanasi against the outside tavern wall. “Talk,” he barks. 

Raising their arms Athanasi stammers, “I mentioned I was a succubus, didn’t I?” 

Athanasi winces as they’re pressed harder against the rough wooden structure. “That doesn’t explain shit.” 

Athanasi blinks. Are people not taught about different creatures of the Continent and their abilities? Wow, the education system is really failing them. “Succubi can see auras so we know what people like or dislike,” Athanasi explains. “You don’t like sex.” They shoot Leon a trembling smile. “Coincidentally, I don’t either.” 

Athanasi sags as they’re released and Leon steps back, sheathing his knife. “You’re a succubus. Who doesn’t like sex,” Leon states blankly. Athanasi nods encouragingly. They’re glad Leon is getting it. “How do you survive?”

“Hugs,” Athanasi says, wrapping their arms around themselves longingly. 

Leon blinks. “Hugs,” he repeats dubiously.

Athanasi nods. “And other kinds of physical affection,” they explain. Tightening their grip around themself, Athanasi averts their gaze. “And when I can’t get that I have to have sex.” 

“But you don’t like it,” Leon asks, brow furrowed. 

Athanasi smiles wanly. “It’s survival.” 

Leon’s face hardens into a look of determination. “How can I help?”

Athanasi tilts their head in confusion. “Why do you want to help me after putting a knife to my throat? Doesn’t that usually indicate you do not like me?” 

Leon rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “In my defense you were revealing very personal facts about me that you couldn’t have known.” 

“Hm. I’ve never had someone point a knife at me and then decide not to,” Athanasi muses. “How peculiar. This is very exciting!”

Leon crosses his arms, lips twitching. “Physical affection you say?” Athanasi nods, biting their lip and bouncing on their toes as Leon approaches them with his arms out. “Try not to kill me, yeah?” Leon releases a heavy oomph as Athanasi barrels into him, wrapping their arms around him like a monkey. When Leon returns the hug, Athanasi shudders. They’ve never had touch returned with so much purpose before. Waves of energy flood through Athanasi, the numbness and cold and ache they have felt for over two decades chased away by pulsing warmth. They close their eyes and sink into the novel sensation, before tearing themselves out of the embrace with a horrified gasp. Athanasi is terrified they will find Leon an empty husk and are therefore shocked and confused when Leon is standing there, looking slightly mussed but otherwise unharmed. 

Leon only looks at them with a contemplative expression. “Huh. I was expecting to feel drained or something.” 

Athanasi’s eyes widen. “You mean you don’t?” they croak. At Leon’s confirmation, Athanasi stumbles back. But how is that possible? Energy is pulsing through every vein in their body so they definitely feasted. How can Leon not be affected? Is openly feeding on affection that different from sex? Why don’t all succubi do this?

Nodding towards the main path Leon remarks, “You know, I’m still gonna be headed towards Hagge. Since I now know you're not some random creep who’ll slit my throat, you can tag along if you want.” He pauses, brow furrowing. “Unless you’re good now and won’t need another feed?” 

Racing back to Leon, Athanasi latches onto his arm, eyes burning with a fervent light. “You mean you would let me do that again?” Athanasi breathes, unintentionally pulling more of the seemingly endless well of energy from Leon.

“On one condition.” Athanasi nods readily. “You learn to fight.” 

Cocking their head, Athanasi inquires, “Why must I learn to fight?” 

“Because I refuse to travel with someone who’ll get themselves stabbed when they accidentally flirt with the wrong person,” Leon replies with a challenging raise of his brow.

“I never flirt with the wrong person,” Athanasi says proudly. “Though I have been almost stabbed many times,” they add contemplatively.

Leon scrubs a hand across his face. “What the fuck am I getting myself into?” he mutters to himself. 

“Friendship!” Athanasi responds, picking up their discarded bags and looping their arm through Leon’s. When Athanasi grins up at the blacksmith, Leon looks down at them before shaking his head, smiling softly. 

“Sure Athanasi, friendship.” Athanasi’s grin grows. They’ve never had a friend before. This is sure to be exciting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athanasi learns some interesting facts under Leon's wing. Apparently stealing from and killing people is bad? Who knew!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad you all have fallen in love with Athanasi as much as I have! 
> 
> My promise remains regarding WILMD. It was just giving me a hard time the past few days and the next chapter for this story slipped into my mind. 
> 
> Just a heads up, I tagged it but want to give a warning that there is brief aftermath of some dub con in this chapter.

Leon doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing with his life. A literal succubus is honest to gods skipping merrily beside him and Leon is racking his brain in an attempt to understand how he ended up here. When he had heard a yelp as he traveled through some sketchy woods, something in Leon compelled him to follow the sound. Clearly being around a bunch of monster hunters with hearts of gold has been rubbing off on him. When he spotted the skeletal figure with short ginger hair and resigned green eyes held still by a knife to their throat, Leon acted on instinct. He figured he would do his good deed for the year and move on with his life. Instead he has found himself with a far too cheerful companion who literally feeds on his hugs. 

What the fuck. 

“Ooo!” Athanasi exclaims, flitting off the trail towards a bed of wildflowers. Leon sighs. At this rate it would take a miracle to make it back to his and Ewa's shop before Midsummer. Leon watches as Athanasi crouches down and carefully plucks a bright purple flower from the ground. When they stand up and turn back to Leon, they proffer it up to him. “For not slitting my throat,” Athanasi says with an earnest grin.

Leon blinks between the odd creature and flower before slowly taking the offering. “Thanks. I think,” he mumbles. 

That night when they lay out their bedrolls, Athanasi somehow ends up right next to Leon despite the large area of their campsite. Leon watches the succubus with amusement as Athanasi inches closer and closer to him in the least subtle way possible. Rolling his eyes, Leon wraps an arm around Athanasi and tugs the succubus close. Athanasi stiffens, staring up at Leon with wonder in their eyes as they tremble slightly. Clearing his throat awkwardly and feeling himself flush, Leon squeezes Athanasi reassuringly and closes his eyes. After a winter curled on and around a room full of bodies, sleeping alone is like a splash of cold water. Having a warm body beside him again, even if said body is literally pulling out Leon’s life source or some shit, is...nice, Leon supposes. A long minute passes before he feels the body beside him soften and relax until Athanasi wiggles so their head is tucked under Leon’s chin. Leon smiles softly. Yes, it’s nice to have someone to hold again. 

The next morning, Leon stares at his companion. When they met yesterday Athanasi wore trousers and a tunic, but today the succubus has on a simple blue dress. Leon realises in that moment that he doesn’t actually know what gender Athanasi is. “Hey Athanasi,” Leon calls. 

“Hmm?” The succubus responds from where Athanasi is rifling through a pack. Leon can’t help but notice that the succubus’ skin looks brighter today, Athanasi’s cheeks less gaunt. 

“Um. Are you a man or a woman?” 

The succubus looks up, brow furrowed and head tilted. “Are you only allowed to pick one?”

Leon blinks. “Um,” he replies dumbly. “I just don’t know if I should call you she or he.” 

Feeling slightly awkward, Leon moves to clean up their campsite while Athanasi sits on the ground gracefully with a hum. “It seems a bit odd that you can only choose one or the other, don’t you think? And what if I don't feel like either one day?” Athanasi's head shakes. "This whole gender thing just seems poorly thought out.” 

Leon pauses and scratches his head. “Well-" he starts, before frowning. He studies the succubus before him. Leon has met shifters, witchers, and sorceresses. Why is the question of gender even fazing him? Leon thinks about the harassment and condescension Ewa has faced as a female blacksmith, the taunting he has received for preferring to curl up and pet Alloy than grab a drink and talk girls with some men in the village. Why is it that people seem to be so obsessed with gender, so fixed on what makes you one gender or the other? 

"I guess I never thought about that,” he mumbles slowly, fiddling with his dagger. 

Athanasi looks in the distance for a long moment. “I don’t really like this he or she nonsense,” Athanasi muses. “But if you would like something other than my name to refer to me, perhaps I can just be an it?” The succubus suggests with a spread of their arms. 

Leon blanches. “You’re a person, not an it!” he exclaims, rolling to his knees in his outrage. 

Athanasi brightens. “Thank you for calling me a person!” The succubus chirps, making Leon’s heart ache. Athanasi’s lips purse in concentration. “What would you suggest then?” 

Shit. Leon is just rethinking his concept of gender and now he needs to come up with a whole new pronoun? No pressure, right? Leon taps his gold band contemplatively for a long moment. What pronoun can encompass both male and female and neither at the same time? Leon doesn't have a creative enough mind to come up with a whole new word, that's more Jaskier's thing. “What about they?” 

Athanasi smiles brightly. “Sure!” 

Leon watches bemusedly as the succubus rises and twirls around. He can’t help but admire how the dress flows around the mystifying and baffling creature. “Are all succubi like you?” Leon finds himself asking. “You know, feeding off of physical affection, not really identifying with a single gender?" 

Athanasi’s smile fades before returning, brighter yet faker than before. “Considering I was exiled to die on my own I would have to say no,” they determine. 

Leon looks down shamefully. “Sorry, I wasn’t sure if that was a lie you told to let down my guard.” 

Athanasi props their hands on their hips. “I don’t quite know how to let someone’s guard down without flirting with them,” Athanasi remarks thoughtfully. 

“Well if you’ve been flirting with me you’re doing a piss poor job,” Leon says wryly, packing up his bags and standing with a stretch. “C’mon, wanna try to make it to the next town before dark.” 

Traveling with an affectionate succubus who doesn’t understand concepts like personal space turns out to be interesting. First off, despite how wide the paths can get, Athanasi sticks close to Leon’s side, frequently brushing a hand or shoulder against him. Leon feels like he should mind it more than he does. But the truth is, he’s never been touched so casually and frequently outside the walls of Kaer Morhen. Leon is afraid he could get used to it. Then there’s the succubus’ wide-eyed wonder every time they pass a rabbit or field of flowers. It should be abrasive, irritating, especially considering Athanasi is a similar age as Leon. Instead it’s...endearing? Leon doesn’t know. Thinking about it too much makes his head hurt. 

By some miracle, even with all of the distractions, Leon and Athanasi make it to town before dark. Leon enters Vengernberg warily. Last time he was here Leon didn’t have the most welcoming reception. He only hopes things have changed since. Athanasi is strolling by his side, now and then bumping into Leon in a gesture the blacksmith now knows isn’t accidental. As they pass a merchant selling daggers, Leon slows down to admire one with a sapphire gem on the hilt. Shaking his head, Leon continues forward. He can’t afford to be splurging on things like that. His dagger works fine anyway, even if it’s older and growing blunt. It’s not like he could ever let go of it though; that would be like ripping out part of his soul. 

When they reach an inn Leon stalls with indecision before asking for one bed instead of two. With how Athanasi latched onto Leon last night like a particularly cuddly octopus, it doesn’t make sense to spend more coin on an extra bed. Besides, having someone curled beside/on top of him was...nice. As they enter their room, Leon unloads his pack with a groan. “Here you go!” Athanasi says, handing Leon the dagger he had been eyeing in the market. 

Leon stares at it incomprehensibly before drawing his gaze to the grinning succubus. “Athanasi,” he says slowly, “how did you get this if you were by my side the whole time?” 

Athanasi tilts their head in what has become a common behavior and what Leon is fighting against describing as adorable. “You were staring at it with longing so I slipped it in my pack,” Athanasi explains simply. 

Leon lowers himself onto the bed. “Please tell me you paid for that,” Leon says hopelessly. 

Athanasi tilts their head the other way. “Why would I pay for it? You wanted it so I took it.” 

Leon drops his face into his palms. “What the fuck have I gotten myself into?” He groans. 

“I already told you,” Athanasi says patiently with a kind smile as though Leon is a particularly dense yet lovable idiot. “Friendship!” 

“Friendship with a thief!” Leon snaps before taking a deep breath when Athanasi recoils. Clasping his hands together Leon says calmly, “Athanasi, you can’t just steal shit.” 

Athanasi pouts before plopping onto the ground, dress billowing around them. “Why not?”

“Because it’s illegal and if you’re caught you will be fined, chased out of town, or killed,” Leon grits out. 

Athanasi waves their hand carelessly. “Oh, I’m used to all of that, it’s no problem.” What the fuck.

Rising from the bed, Leon kneels down in front of Athanasi. “Repeat after me Athanasi,” Leon says firmly, waiting for the succubus to nod. “I, Athanasi-“ 

“But you’re not Athanasi, I’m Athanasi,” the succubus interrupts. Leon’s mouth gapes open. How has this creature survived two decades on their own? Leon internally growls at the fondness pulsing through his chest at Athanasi’s genuine perplexment. It’s not cute, it’s annoying! 

“Okay. Repeat after me. Stealing is bad.” 

“Stealing is bad,” Athanasi recites obediently.

“We will stop stealing shit.” 

“But what if I see something I like or you like?” Athanasi inquires with a raised finger. 

“That’s what coin is for,” Leon explains patiently. 

“Hm. I thought coin was just to use when people ask for some as payment.” 

“Exactly!” Leon says, gesturing wildly in exasperation.

“But that merchant didn’t ask for payment,” Athanasi says slowly as though _Leon_ was the one completely missing the point. 

“Because he didn’t see you take the godsdamn knife,” Leon growls. 

“Hmm. Are you getting hungry? You seem a bit grouchy.” 

Throwing up his arms hopelessly Leon exclaims, “I quit! Athanasi, if you don’t want me to pull my godsdammed hair out _please_ don’t steal anything else.” 

“But you don’t have hair,” Athanasi points out helpfully.

Leon raises his hands in a pantomime of strangling Athanasi. “You. Will cause me. An early death,” he says through gritted teeth. 

Athanasi frowns. “Please don’t die. I’ve never spent so much time with the same person before and you’re nice.” Leon feels his heart slowly shatter and as it does he takes a steady breath. Right. He needs to remind himself that this is a person who has been alone all their life. Apparently, that means that they don’t understand concepts like _morality._ Leon sighs. How has teaching a succubus about right and wrong become his life?

*******

At dinner, Leon wolfs down some stew while Athanasi tangles their hands together contentedly. Leon let’s them do it. Not like it’s bothering him. Feels kinda nice actually.

“Who let a piece of dirt like you in?” a hulking man sneers, glaring at Leon. Leon keeps his head down and continues eating his stew as the hand around his tightens. “Hey I’m talkin to you!” the man snarls, rising to loom over Leon.

“I’m eating peacefully, good sir, I wish you no harm,” Leon recites calmly. When he was younger and more hotheaded, he would’ve picked a fight with the bastard and ended up beaten and bloody on the floor. Back then he had hair and even that didn’t stop people from noticing his ears and making a fuss about them. Now Leon finds it simpler to let arseholes say what they want and then make his exit. Hiding his ears did nothing, so now he displays them defiantly for all to see. 

He flinches as a gob of spit hits his face. Leon calmly wipes it off and is preparing to slip out when Athanasi speaks, their voice a low purr in a way Leon hasn’t heard before. It sends a cold shudder down his spine. “What's a handsome man like you doing wasting time with my companion?” The man turns to Athanasi and his posture completely shifts, shoulders loosening and eyes glazing over. Athanasi stands smoothly, swaying over to the wanker before trailing a finger down the man’s arm. “What say you and I do something a bit more...pleasurable, hm?” 

At the man’s eager nod, Athanasi leads him out and leaves Leon blinking in shock. What the fuck? The succubus said they didn’t like sex yesterday. Was that just a bloody lie to lower Leon’s guard? 

Fuck that! 

Shoving away his stew, Leon storms outside but Athanasi and the man are nowhere to be seen. Clenching his fists, Leon stalks to the inn. Well, the bastard will need to retrieve their bags. When they do Leon will have a few things to say. 

An hour later Athanasi comes stumbling in, dress torn, hair mussed, and skin pale. Leon’s resolve falters for a moment before his humiliation roars back. “Why did you tell me you don’t like sex? To use me to help you find marks?” Leon demands, vibrating with too much emotion and trembling before the frail figure. 

Dull green eyes blink up at him. “I _don't_ like sex,” they mumble with a frown. 

The lingering taste of rabbit stew turns sour in Leon’s mouth as dread pools in his chest. Leon licks his lips. “Then why did you sleep with that man?” 

Athanasi attempts to straighten their ruined dress. It had been so beautiful. “He was cruel to you and you are my friend,” Athanasi says with a simple shrug. “So I drained him.” 

Leon falls onto the bed. “You killed him. For me?” Leon croaks. 

Heedless of the fact that Leon is sitting right there, Athanasi pulls off their dress before digging in their pack for an emerald green one. Brilliant green like their eyes, Leon can’t help but notice. “Of course. That’s what friends do, right?” 

Horror and confusion and twisted gratitude swirl in his chest as Leon hurries towards Athanasi and places his hands on their shoulders. “Please Athanasi, never put yourself in a position of discomfort like that again,” Leon begs. 

Athanasi blinks at Leon in confusion. “But you are my friend,” they state, frown growing. 

Brushing a stray strand of hair out of Athanasi’s eyes Leon says firmly, “And as your friend I am pleading to you that you don’t have sex or do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Please.” Leon shudders at just the idea of forcing himself to have sex again. After desperately trying, feeling terrified that he was broken somehow, Leon determined at a young age that he wouldn’t subject himself to an act he finds so repulsive again. For Athanasi to force themselves into such an act for survival and now out of some loyalty for a man they haven’t even known for a week- Leon fears he may be sick.

Athanasi studies Leon’s face before nodding slowly. “If that will make you happy,” they agree dubiously. 

Leon sags, pressing his forehead against the succubus’ for a needy moment. “Good. Thank you,” he breathes. They remain that way for a long time, green eyes staring into amber. Leon can’t help but notice a spark returning in Athanasi’s eyes the longer they stay connected. Fuck, this sweet creature actually killed a man today. How can such a juxtaposition exist in one person? Eyes widening, Leon pulls away as a realisation hits him. “We should probably get outta here if you killed that bastard. People saw you two together.” 

Athanasi grins, and Leon can’t help the wave of relief at the life returning to his companion’s face. “Okay! I’m very good at escaping out of windows.” 

Leon blinks before shaking his head slowly. He hasn’t fully processed that this creature stole and killed for him today. Leon isn’t sure if he _wants_ to process it all to be honest. For now, he thinks he’ll prevent his idiot friend from climbing through a second story window and breaking their neck. The rest he can figure out later.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that hugs aren't just used for feeding?? Athanasi is learning all sorts of interesting things! Meanwhile, Leon continues to have some small existential crises, but he'll be okay because hugs!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't express how thrilled and honored I am at the reception of this fic, especially considering it follows two original characters. Thank you so much for your support dear readers!
> 
> Now that I've established both characters I'll be alternating POVs within each chapter. Hopefully. If these two dorks behave.

“So Athanasi,” Leon starts before falling silent and studying the ground where they walk. 

“Yes that is my name,” the succubus responds helpfully. 

Huffing out a laugh Leon gestures toward the town they hurriedly left behind last night. “Did you cast some kinda...spell on that poor sap?” he asks. It’s something that kept him up last night while the succubus curled up beside him. It’s hard to fathom that such a cuddly creature is also a murderer. 

Fuck, what has he gotten himself into? 

Athanasi hums thoughtfully. “No I just took a leaf off because I wanted something to play with,” they respond, tearing apart said leaf into strips as they walk. 

Right. His companion is completely literal. Leon really needs to get better at remembering that. Shaking his head Leon says, “No, sap as in person. It looked like you had cast some kind of enchantment to lower that bloke’s guard last night.” 

Eyes brightening with understanding Athanasi nods. “Oh yes, just a tiny charm to lower his inhibitions a bit.” Leon feels a cold shudder down his spine. He halts and after a moment Athanasi stops and turns to Leon with a frown. “Do elves get tired quicker than succubi?” they inquire. 

Ignoring the question Leon croaks, “Athanasi, you can’t just charm people like that.” Horror curdles in his stomach like spoilt milk. He backs up. “How do I know you haven’t done that to me?” Of course, that must be why he’s agreed to travel with this odd creature. 

Something that looks like hurt crosses the succubus’ face and the remnants of the leaf crush in their hand. “I wouldn’t do that to a friend,” they protest before they bite their lip, looking away. “Of course, I’ve never had a friend before but I always imagined that if I managed to gain one I wouldn’t influence them in any way.” Their face crumples and Leon inexplicably begins to feel guilty. “I want them to like me for me.” 

Fuck. Striding towards the drooping succubus, Leon draws them into a hug. Immediately, Athanasi melts into the embrace and squeezes him tightly. Leon should’ve known he wasn’t being influenced he supposes. As they’ve established, it’s not like Athanasi flirts with him and clearly the succubus has no suavity when interacting platonically. Unless the succubus is ensorcelling Leon through their poor life decisions and law-breaking, the blacksmith is probably safe. “You have a nice aura, I don’t want to ruin it,” Athanasi mumbles in Leon’s chest after they stand locked for a long moment. 

Leon furrows his brow. “That’s the second time you’ve talked about my aura. What do you mean by that?” 

Athanasis draws away before plucking up one of Leon’s hands and tracing patterns on his palm. “Every human and creature has an aura,” they explain. “It helps us find our targets and mold ourselves so we’re appealing to them. Do they want someone coy? Someone dominant? Do they want soft touches? Rough sex?” Athanasi smiles bitterly. “Whatever they want, we deliver.” 

Leon can’t help curling his fingers so he can squeeze the succubus’ hand. Athanasi glances up with a flicker of a smile before returning to their study of Leon’s palm. “We also see what kind of person they are like, because this helps with our approach. Are they cruel or kind? Meek or confident?” Athanasi looks up again and meets Leon’s eyes, adding softly, “Have they been hurt in the past or done the hurting?” Leon snatches his hand away as if he were burned, feeling far too raw and vulnerable in the face of those knowing emerald eyes. 

He backs away. “Sounds violating,” Leon croaks, rubbing a finger along his golden cuff to calm himself down. 

Athanasi tilts their head. “I don’t understand.” 

Dear Melitele, help him. “You see into people’s private desires, people’s histories and personalities they may not want to share,” Leon explains frantically, fighting down his panic. 

Athanasi frowns. “But I can’t help it. It just happens automatically. Like-” they look around and gesture in the air. “Can you stop that tree from growing leaves? Or tell that bird to stop singing? Or the sun to stop shining?” They turn back to Leon with a shrug. “I am what I am.” A look of uncertainty crosses their face and they fiddle with a chain they pull from under their tunic. “Can you live with that?” 

Can he? Can Leon walk beside someone who has seen straight through his soul? Leon is gripped with a desperate need to know. To know what Athanasi sees. 

“What do you find when you look at my aura?” he asks, trembling slightly. 

Athanasi wraps their arms around themselves. “Do you really want me to share that?" they ask meekly. "After what you just said?” 

That’s a good question. Leon doesn’t know how he feels about his entire personality and sexuality and history being bared so openly. 

That’s a lie; he does know how he feels. He fucking hates it. But Leon can't continue forward without knowing what a succubus would see when they look at him. Whether such an urge is slightly self-destructive or not, Leon couldn't say. But he needs to know. 

Leon takes a deep breath, steadying his resolve. “Tell me.” 

Athanasi settles onto the ground, picking up a stick laying in the dirt. Today they are wearing a bright red tunic with brown breeches and Leon can’t help but idly wonder whether those clothes are bought or stolen. Bloody hells. 

Athanasis rolls the stick in their hands before drawing lazy designs in the ground. “On the edges of your aura there is a shimmer of purple, gray, white, and black which I had never seen before but recognize, indicating your lack of sexual attraction for others.” Athanasi looks up, green eyes burning with a fervent light. “That’s what drew me to you. I’ve never met someone like me before,” they breathe. Athanasi looks back down, drawing a wide circle in the ground. “Your general aura glows golden, yet has shadows in it as well. The gold indicates a kind and empathetic heart, yet the shadows hint to grief and pain in the past, not necessarily of a sexual origin." They draw a circle in the middle. "Your center burns bright red, meaning that what you crave the most is love, belonging, and affection.” 

Athanasi looks up apprehensively and as they do, Leon realises he hasn’t been breathing. He draws in a shaky breath and lowers himself onto the ground before he collapses. Feeling small and torn open, Leon draws his legs up and wraps his arms protectively around them. Athanasi fiddles with their stick, biting their lip as they do. “I’m not given any details if that’s any consolation,” they burst out anxiously, raking their hand through unruly ginger hair. “I didn’t mean to pry. I just can’t control whether I see someone’s aura or not.”

Leon stays still for a long moment, staring into space, feeling numb. “I was never coerced into sex, but did force myself to try it several times before vowing to never subject myself to it again,” Leon rasps, shivering. “It was horrid.” He licks his lips. “The other shadows are because of my ancestry.” He touches an ear softly. “I’m half-elf on my mother’s side. My parents were murdered in front of me and my sister when we were teenagers because of their marriage.” 

His eyes shift to look at Athanasi, bracing himself for pity, for revulsion, for apathy. All the expected responses when Leon imagined sharing the tale. Instead he’s faced with wide watery eyes as Athanasi rolls to their knees. Their hands clench around the stick as they tilt their head from confusion. “I have an urge to hug you but I’m not hungry,” they state with a puzzled frown. 

Leon releases a watery laugh. “People like to give and receive affection as a source of comfort, Nasi,” he explains, heart lightening slightly. Without hesitation, Athanasi scurries over and throws themself at Leon. Chuckling, Leon returns the hug, though it’s less of a hug and more of a bone-crushing squeeze. “Athanasi, I’m not made of metal,” Leon chokes. 

Releasing him with a gasp, Athanasi studies Leon worriedly. “Did I break you?” they fret. “I was trying to give you comfort.” 

Smiling softly, Leon wipes a thumb over Athanasi’s furrowed brow. “You can give comfort without squeezing the life out of someone,” he says fondly. 

Athanais nods firmly before hesitating. “Can I try again?” they ask timidly. When Leon opens his arms, Athanasi falls into them once again, nuzzling Leon’s neck. “I’m sorry you’ve suffered so Leon,” they say mournfully, ginger hair tickling Leon’s chin. 

Leon tucks his nose into Athanasi’s hair and breathes in the honeysuckle scent of the succubus. “Thanks Nasi,” he murmurs. 

Athanasi shifts in Leon’s arms. “What did you call me?” 

Leon feels his cheeks heat and shrugs awkwardly. “Sorry, just shortened your name.” 

Athanasi draws back and tilts their head thoughtfully before nodding. “I like it,” they declare, before snuggling back into Leon’s arms. Leon smiles. He can tell they won’t be making it to the next town by tonight. Strangely, he’s alright with that. 

*******

It’s odd traveling with another person. Good odd, Athanasi has determined, not bad odd. Athanasi is just not used to having someone to talk to that they aren’t actively trying to seduce. But they like Leon. When Athanasi first saw him they thought they would be able to worm their way into gaining a good body to feed from surreptitiously. They never would’ve imagined that Leon would be a _willing_ food source. 

It sounds wrong to call Leon a food source though, because he’s so much more than that. Leon is the first person who has smiled at Athanasi without them having to flirt. When Leon smiles or laughs Athanasi’s heart does something strange. It’s slightly worrisome because it’s never happened before. Their heart doesn’t hurt, it just feels like it’s being squeezed or doing flips. Athanasi’s stomach will also flutter like there are butterflies in it. Is this what happens when you’re properly fed? Athanasi isn’t sure. 

But Athanasi is facing all types of new experiences. They have learned that hugging doesn’t just need to be a feeding thing and that there are easier ways to jump out of windows. But this other thing Leon is trying to teach them, something called _morality_ is a bit harder to grasp. 

“But you wanted it and I was doing something nice for you!” Athanasi protests for the 500th time. They growl with frustration. As lovely as Leon’s company is, sometimes he can be so silly. Especially now as he bangs his head against a tree. “Leon, you can’t tear the bark off of a tree like that,” Athanasi says patiently. “And we have some food in your packs if you’re getting hungry again.” This is something Athanasi learned very quickly; their companion gets grumpy when he’s hungry. Leon turns around before sliding slowly down the tree. That can’t feel good on his back. 

Pressing his head back against the tree trunk Leon says with what Athanasi can now identify as brimming frustration, “I appreciate you wanting to do something nice for me, I really do Nasi, but do you think you can try a bit harder to see my perspective?” Athanasi sighs. If it will make their companion happy they suppose they can. Plopping down, Athanasi gestures for Leon to go on. Planting his feet on the ground, Leon drapes his arms over his knees and remains there, looking thoughtful for a long time. “Okay, can we both agree that getting chased out of town and maimed/killed is a bad thing?” he eventually asks, spreading his hands wide. 

Athanasi nods. “I have become a very fast runner,” they pipe in. 

Leon releases a sigh. “But can we agree that running away from people can get tiresome?” 

Athanasi tilts their head and shrugs. “I've gotten used to it.” 

Leon droops his head down. “But what if I could give you an alternate option that wouldn’t cause you to be chased out of town or for your limbs or life to be threatened?” he growls. 

Athanasi stares at Leon skeptically. Maybe they should go get Leon some food. He's sounding grumpy again and isn't making any sense. 

Clasping his hands together, Leon says slowly, “If you don’t steal, there is a less likely chance of that happening.” 

Athanasi’s skepticism grows. “Hmm. I don’t know about that,” they say with a shake of their head. “Sounds fake.” 

Leon makes a strange noise through his teeth. “Next town we’re in. I’ll prove it to you,” he grits out. 

Athanasi smiles at him kindly. “If you say so Leon.” 

That night Athanasi is faced with the pretty knife they gifted to Leon. “Part of me knows that giving you the skill to stab someone is the biggest mistake I’ll make since helping Lambert steal Vesemir’s stash of biscuits but-” Athanasi isn’t following at all so they just smile encouragingly. Taking a breath Leon grumbles, “But you’re starting to grow on me like a particularly cheerful and murderous lump of moss and I’d hate to see you killed.” Athanasi’s heart misbehaves again, this time a lot, doing flips and somersaults and cartwheels. 

Gently accepting the knife, Athanasi traces a finger along the flat of the blade. “No one’s cared about me before,” they murmur, studying the sapphire gem on the handle.

“Well, I do for some godsforsaken reason, probably because I honestly don’t know how the fuck you’ve survived this long,” Leon says gruffy. 

Athanasi shoots Leon a fond smile. “Like I said, I’m a fast runner.” Snorting, Leon pulls out a worn dagger and angles himself in an odd position. Athanasi tilts their head as Leon gestures wildly. 

Huffing out a sigh, Leon shuffles so that they are side by side. “Stand in the same position as me,” he orders. Nodding, Athanasi shifts their feet and body into Leon’s stance. Shaking his head, Leon stands behind Athanasi and grasps their arms to angle their body slightly forward. “Like this,” he murmurs in their ear. Athanasi catches their breath as a rush of warmth floods their body at where they’re connected. This doesn’t feel like feeding but they don't know what else it could be. When Leon steps back Athanasi suddenly feels very cold. “Now, step and thrust forward,” Leon instructs, modeling what he means. 

Sticking their tongue out, Athanasi follows the direction, feeling awkward and clumsy compared to Leon. “Good,” the blacksmith says, rounding to the front. A new feeling of warmth fills Athanasi’s chest and they have the sudden urge to grin. Their body keeps misbehaving and they don’t know why!

The rest of the evening is spent there, Leon’s deep yet soft voice guiding Athanasi through different motions, different stances. Athanasi’s favourite moments are when they stumble or mess up. Leon always steps closer and sometimes touches Athanasi, grounding and steadying them like an anchor. It feels...nice. Leon always makes Athanasi feel nice, and not just when Athanasi is feeding from him. Athanasi doesn’t understand why. But they hope it’s not a bad thing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athanasi is a little confused but they've got the spirit! Meanwhile, Leon is a mess but we love him anyway.

The day after their first fighting lesson, Athanasi and Leon make it to town. As they walk through it Athanasi is drinking in the various auras floating around and barely notices where Leon leads them until they see something thrust in their face. “What’s this?” they ask, accepting the round yellowish thing with a questioning glance at their companion. 

Rubbing the back of his head Leon shrugs and lifts up something identical in his hand before taking a bite. “Honey cake. Try it,” he says, voice slightly muffled. 

Athanasi frowns. “But I don’t need to eat food,” they say slowly in case Leon forgot. 

Rolling his eyes in a way that Athanasi is learning doesn’t mean he’s annoyed at them Leon says, “I know Nasi, but it tastes good.” He gestures to Athanasi’s hand holding the thing. “Try it.” 

Ignoring the strange warmth that fills their chest when Athanasi hears the shortening of their name, they stop walking and turn to Leon properly. “Why would you give me something I don’t need though?” they ask. 

Huffing out a breath Leon stops as well before shooting Athanasi a small smile. “Why did you steal that knife for me?” he responds. 

Confused by the topic change, Athanasi’s frown deepens. “Because you indicated interest in it.” They lift up the thing in their hand. “But I didn’t even notice you buy these or steal these so how could you know I would want it?”

Rubbing a hand over his face Leon says patiently, “I didn’t steal the food and sometimes you get something for someone not because they want it or need it but because it’s a nice thing to do.” 

Athanasi tilts their head and tastes that word on their tongue. “Nice…” 

Leon blinks at them. “Please tell me someone has done something nice for you in your life,” Leon says, voice sounding strained. “You know, paid you a compliment, smiled at you, given you something, helped you out in some way?”

Athanasi scuffs their boot into the dirt road thoughtfully. “Once someone _warned_ me that they would stab me if I didn’t leave town first,” they offered. “Does that count as nice?”

They whine when Leon’s face crumples. “Fuck Nasi,” Leon croaks, shaking his head.

“Did I make you sad?” Athanasi asks, worrying their lip. “Sorry!” They hate making Leon sad. They are trying to learn how not to but it can be hard sometimes. 

Taking a slow breath, Leon smiles in a way Athanasi is learning isn’t real. “Nothing to be sorry about Athanasi. Just-try the honey cake.”

Athanasi looks at the strange food again. “Will trying this make you have a real smile?” they inquire.

Leon’s eyes widen before his lips twitch. “Sure Nasi, I will give you a real smile if you taste it.” 

Nodding firmly, Athanasi takes a small bite and hums with delight at the burst of sweetness on their tongue. Barely swallowing, Athanasi takes another bite and another until the entire cake has disappeared. After they lick the remnants of it off their fingers they turn a shining gaze to Leon who’s watching with a grin, a real one this time. “That’s better than sex!” they exclaim.

Chuckling, Leon turns to eat his cake as he continues their walk. “Most things are in my experience,” Leon smirks. Athanasi barely listens though, too busy eyeing the cake Leon is eating _so slowly._ Catching Athanasi watching him from the corner of his eye, Leon rips off a piece of his before handing it to them. 

Accepting it, Athanasi gulps it down before frowning. “Do you not like yours?” they ask. 

“No, I do,” Leon says, a smile still dancing on his lips and his eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

“Then why would you give me some of yours?” 

Turning to smile kindly at Athanasi Leon says simply, “That’s what friends do.” Gesturing with his cake-filled hand Leon adds, “It’s called sharing.” 

Athanasi’s mouth gapes open. Sharing? “Why would you give someone something that you like though? You’re my friend and I didn’t want to share my cake with you. In fact, I want to take yours from your hand and the only thing that’s stopping me is that you’re my friend,” Athanasi elaborates matter-of-factly. 

Leon’s laugh is deep and sounds from his belly through his chest as he throws his head back. Athanasi watches, their heart doing that strange flipping thing again. “It’s hard to explain Nasi, but when you like someone it makes you happy to make _them_ happy,” he explains, eyes twinkling with mirth. Huh. Athanasi fiddles with their pendant thoughtfully as they turn Leon’s words over in their head. It seems like such a counterintuitive thing to do, giving someone something you want. Sure, Athanasi acquired that knife for Leon but they hadn’t been eyeing it, he had, and it seemed like the obvious thing to do, giving it to him. Of course, it’s currently latched onto Athanasi’s belt though upon Leon’s insistence. But that’s because Leon explained that he has a knife and doesn’t need another one but Athanasi does. What a strange creature Leon is, giving Athanasi things for free because he thinks Athanasi wants or needs or would like them. 

As they continue to walk, Athanasi mulls Leon’s words over but gets distracted by a bright blue piece of glass in the shape of a flower off to the side. How lovely! As they pass the merchant selling things like that Athanasi brushes past and slips the item into their pocket. 

Once they have moved beyond the seller Leon rounds in front of Athanasi and stops, arms crossed. “Go back and pay for it,” he rumbles. 

Athanasi cocks their head and flutters their lashes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” they respond innocently. 

Growling, Leon says, “You’re slick I’ll give you that but remember our deal? We were gonna see what happens when you pay for everything you wanna buy?” 

Athanasi slumps with a pout. “You were _serious?”_ they whine. They don’t understand Leon’s fixation on this whole “morality” thing; seems like a waste of time and energy. When it’s clear that Leon isn’t budging Athanasi grumbles and tromps back over to the merchant who is finishing up with a customer. Slipping a hand over the table to make it look like they’re just picking the flower up, Athanasi asks, “How much for this pretty thing?” 

The blonde haired merchant smiles at Athanasi but her smile is not as nice as Leon’s. “2 crowns,” she responds. 

“2 crowns??” Leon exclaims from behind Athanasi. “Nuh uh, try again.” 

Bristling, the woman flicks her gaze up at Leon only to sneer, “Don’t think I was talking to you, filthy beast.” 

Athanasi looks behind them to see Leon’s expression harden and then close off. Turning back to the mechant with a frown, Athanasi grips the flower in their hand. “That wasn’t a nice thing to say,“ they observe. “You should be nice like him.” 

A heavy hand is placed on Athanasi’s shoulder and they shiver at the burst of energy they gain from the touch. “Don’t worry Nasi, just drop it,” Leon murmurs in their ear. 

“Well? You gonna pay up or not?” the woman demands, crossing her arms. Athanasi uncurls their fist to study the little flower. How can something so pretty be made by someone so nasty? 

Looking back at the woman, they smile cheerfully. “No thank you,” Athanasi replies, slipping it back into their pocket and walking away. 

“THIEF!” she cries from behind them, but Athanasi is already racing out of town, Leon’s heavy footfalls not too far behind them. Once they make it to the town’s limits, Athanasi scans the treeline before ducking to the right where it looked thickest, Leon cursing behind them as they crash through the brush. 

A few minutes later, they are crouched behind a log, catching their breath as Leon rubs his head and glares at Athanasi. “What the fuck was that?” he hisses, glowering when Athanasi raises a finger. They strain their ears until they hear the shouting fade into another part of the forest. 

Athanasi turns to Leon who is checking his bow for damage, an angry red scratch upon his bare head. Frowning, Athanasi tilts Leon’s face down to look at the mark, licking a thumb to rub the trickle of blood away. “You are too tall for sneaking through heavy brush,” they observe. 

“You _think?”_ Leon snaps, slapping Athanasi’s hand away. The succubus pulls back with a confused whine. Seeing whatever expression is on Athanasi’s face seems to melt away some of Leon’s ire as he sighs and slumps. “Athanasi, you can’t just _steal_ shit,” Leon says with tired exasperation, a vein in Leon’s temple pulsing in a familiar motion. 

“But she wasn’t nice!” Athanasi protests. “Not nice people shouldn’t get money even if they make pretty things!” 

Steady hands grip Athanasi’s shoulders and the succubus blinks into somber amber eyes. “Athanasi, you of all people should know that there are unkind people across the Continent,” Leon says, brushing a wayward leaf out of Athanasi’s hair. 

“Exactly,” Athanasi states, nodding encouragingly. 

Leon drops his head. “But stealing is still a bad thing and if you can’t understand why it’s bad in the general sense, can you at least understand how it’s bad from a convenience standpoint?” Leon grits out. Lifting his head again, Leon’s eyes flash. “That’s another night without a bed, without a supply refill, and without a solid meal for the person who _can’t feed from hugs,”_ Leon says sternly.

Athanasi frowns. “Oh.” They’ve never really considered towns as a place to seek comfort like a warm bed or food, partly because what they often have to find for food repulses Athanasi so. But they suppose that now that they’re travelling with someone who isn’t a succubus, they need to consider what Leon needs too. Sagging, Athanasi bites their lip. “Sorry Leon,” they say meekly. 

After a beat Leon ruffles Athanasi’s hair. “It’s alright, you’re learning. Just-let’s try to get this down by the time we get to Hagge so you don’t chase me out of the town I live in, yeah?” 

Athanasi grips one of Leon’s hands, looking up at him hopefully. “You mean you’ll let me stay? Even though I inconvenience you and cause your vein to do that thing in your temple?” Athanasi asks, pointing to Leon’s forehead. 

The half-elf lifts a hand to his temple before shaking his head with a wan smile. “Athanasi, I have a twin sister and spend my winters with a pack of wolves. I’m used to being inconvenienced.” 

Their brief conflict forgotten, Athanasi leans forward, excitement sparking in their eyes. “You live with a pack of wolves? Are you a wolf as well as a half-elf?” 

Relief washes through them at Leon’s laughter returning. They really like that sound. “No, but I have friends who are,” Leon responds.

“So you _speak_ wolf?” they press, furrowing their brow when Leon shakes his head. 

“No, I-” then his face grows conflicted. “I’ll explain another time, k?” Slumping with disappointment, Athanasi nods glumly. They’ve already caused Leon enough problems today. They shouldn’t push their luck. 

*******

Leon glowers at the dry meat between his hands. He was really looking forward to a warm bed and some stew tonight, not to mention getting some more spices for when he needs to hunt for food. When he looks to his side where Athanasi is turning the glass blown flower in their hand thoughtfully, Leon releases a sigh. Traveling with the succubus has proven to be a bit more complicated than he was expecting, but Nasi is well intentioned, just...confused. Leon has been telling himself sternly not to be pleased by the fact that Athanasi stole from that horrid woman because she had insulted Leon but it’s proven difficult. He’s not used to people standing up to him like that when he travels. Considering the bigotry Leon faces, Ewa thinks he’s a fool to enjoy traveling but he can’t explain it. He likes being an observer, likes spending long days just _walking_ and seeing where it takes him, likes trying different foods and meeting interesting people and finding cool things. Not everyone is intolerant, most people care more about Leon’s coin than his ears. 

“You know, I could probably make you something like that,” Leon brags, as Athanasi continues to stare at the flower like it holds the mysteries of the universe. 

Bright green eyes flick up to him as Athanasi beams. “You _could?”_

Giving up on the inedible meal, Leon leans back, clasping his hands behind his head. “Yeah, of course!” Can’t be _that_ different to metalworking, right? “Once we make it back to me and Ewa’s forge I’ll show you.”

Leon finds himself slightly melting as arms wrap around him and a head rests on his shoulder. “What’s she like?” Athanasi asks. 

Humming, Leon looks up at the stars, trying to gather the words to describe his sister. “She’s the strongest person I know,” he murmurs, following the hoot of an owl to his side. “She can seem closed off because she’s protective of herself but if she trusts you her smile can make your fucking day.” Leon grins. “She’s better at drawing metal than I am but shit at detail work. And she’s absolutely head over heels for her partner, Ciri.” 

Flicking his gaze down, Leon startles at those warm emerald eyes studying him. “She sounds very much like you.” Furrowing his brow, Leon is about to express his confusion when Athanasi elaborates, “You are strong, having to travel everywhere and deal with people not being nice but staying nice yourself. And you do not trust easily but have grown more open since we’ve met, and your smile always makes me happy.” 

Leon feels his ears heat and can’t help rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously. “Uh. Thanks Nasi,” he says shyly. Athanasi’s bright grin makes Leon’s gulp. Fuck, he could get used to seeing that. 

Once they settle down for bed, it takes barely any time for Leon to drift off. Something about having that warm body wrapped beside him soothes that always restless part of Leon. His sleep doesn’t last long however. 

Jolting up, Leon gasps for breath, eyes searching for Ewa to make sure she’s safe, and heart freezing when she’s not there. “Leon?” a tired voice asks. Whirling to the side, Leon pulls out his knife only to pause when he sees confused green eyes still hazy from sleep peer up at him. “Are you alright?” 

Fuck, nightmare. Clutching his chest in a futile attempt to steady his heart, Leon watches warily as Athanasi sits up fully. “Did you change your mind about killing me then?” they ask with resignation. 

Fuck. Leon lowers his knife with a shaky hand, licking his lips and testing that the first thing out of his mouth won’t be a scream. “Sorry Nasi, just a nightmare,” Leon rasps. 

Tension that has been brimming through Athanasi’s frame relaxes slightly as they tilt their head. “Nightmare?” As Leon blinks a flash of that bastard’s bloodthirsty smile flickers behind his eyelids. His grip tightens on the knife and Athanasi watches the motion with timid eyes. 

Taking slow breaths, Leon carefully releases the dagger before pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around them. “Yeah,” he murmurs. 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

Another blink and another flash, this time of his parents’ mangled corpses. He swallows down bile threatening to rise up. “No thank you.” 

A hand reaches out before faltering. “Would you like a hug?” Athanasi asks uncertainly. 

A ghost of a smile flickers across Leon’s face before it’s gone. “Sure Nasi.” Leon tries not to flinch as Athanasi lurches forward but something must come across his face because the succubus pauses a handbreadth away. Slowly, the succubus draws Leon forward until he is cradled in Athanasi’s arms. Burrowing himself in that honeysuckle scent, Leon breathes slowly, counting Athanasi’s heartbeats to help steady himself. Athanasi only hums, surprisingly strong arms wrapped securely around Leon as he continues to tremble slightly. 

“Wanna hear a story?” Athanasi asks. Eager for any distraction away from the memories of fire and blood still flickering behind his eyelids each time Leon blinks, he nods silently. A hand begins to stroke down his back. “Once I accidentally slept with a lord’s wife while he was across town and-” 

“How do you _accidentally_ sleep with someone?” Leon interrupts. 

“Excuse me, who’s telling the story here?” Athanasi demands haughtily, their calming strokes not ceasing. 

“Apologies,” Leon murmurs, smiling slightly into Athanasi’s tunic.

“Anyway,” they sniff. “As I was saying, I accidentally slept with the lord’s wife _which is a very understandable thing to accidentally do_ and we’re lying there when I hear stomping downstairs. Now dear Marg looks utterly panicked and whispers to me that her husband arrived home early. So I jump up only to realise that we were too high for me to jump out a window.” 

“At least you have _some_ lick of sense,” Leon mutters, grinning fully when Athanasi flicks his ear. 

“So I slip into a closet. The problem with that was that the lord needed to remove his jacket and hang it in the closet of course, so as the door opens I try to slip deeper but it’s a rather small closet. Now the lord is in the middle of speaking when he opens the door and spots me. We meet each other’s eyes and in a panic I exclaim, 'This isn’t the kitchen! Whoops, must have made a wrong turn!'” 

Leon breaks into laughter, clutching Athanasi’s tunic as the final spectres of his past fade away. “Oh gods how the fuck did you get out of _that_ in one piece?” Leon chortles, pulling away to grin at Athanasi. 

His breath catches in his throat at the mischievous smirk gracing the ordinarily sweet succubus’ face. “Well you see, being able to spot people’s auras can come in handy and I noticed that the lord had a deeply buried fantasy of having a threesome,” Athanasi confides in a stage whisper. 

Leon’s eyes widen. “You _didn’t,”_ he breathes. 

Athanasi waggles their eyebrows. “So, when it was clear the lord was one breath away from beheading me I sauntered up to him and said, ‘You know, I would love to get a strong strapping man like you in bed. Think your wife would like to watch?’” 

Leon shakes his head slowly. “You have bollocks of stone,” he says with awe. 

Athanasi furrows their brow, looking down their body. “I don’t think I do,” they muse, making Leon break into laughter again. 

“Figure of speech Nasi,” he grins, heart squeezing at the adorably confused look on the succubus’ face. 

He chuckles when Athanasi shakes their head with a huff. “You keep interrupting my story which is a very rude thing to do Leon,” they lecture, their firm tone undermined by the light dancing in their eyes. “Now where was I?” 

“You were about to be beheaded when you offered to have a threesome with a lord and lady,” Leon offers. 

“Ah, right!” Athanasi puffs their chest out. “Well you should have seen how his jaw dropped! He gives me a minute nod and I wink and purr, ‘Let me just freshen up then and I’ll be right with you.’ So I slip out of the room and promptly run for the city limits,” Athanasi finishes proudly. 

Leon can only stare into twinkling green eyes with amazement. “You know, I don’t think I’ve been giving you enough credit. You think quick.” 

He can’t help the rush of fondness at how Athanasi preens in response. “I’m glad my brilliance is finally being noticed,” they chirp. 

Snorting Leon responds dryly, “I wouldn’t go that far. You are still the same person who saw a jumpy man with a bow and a knife and thought it was a good idea to follow him.” It still shocks him that Athanasi chose to join Leon after he put a knife to their throat. Then again, Leon makes a good feeding source apparently. He wonders if he could make a good companion as well. 

Athanasi releases a dismissive sound as they wave their hand. “You can’t fool me Leon,” they claim. “You may be slightly prickly on the outside but inside you’re soft and gooey,” they say, poking Leon’s stomach.

Leon simply blinks. Sure, Ewa and Ciri call him a softy but they're his sisters, they have to. But most people see his height, his ears, and his skin and either spit at him or run away. “You really think that?” he asks incredulously. 

Athanasi tilts their head in that adorable way they do because _fine,_ Leon can admit it’s adorable, alright? “Why wouldn’t I?” they ask. 

Leon shrugs awkwardly, unsure where to begin, making Athanasi hum. Propping their chin on Leon’s shoulder, Athanasi squeezes him tightly. “You can’t fool me, Leon the blacksmith,” they repeat firmly. “You are kind and gentle and caring and very very patient.” 

Leon snorts, mind flashing to all the times he's snapped at Athanasi or others he's known. “Dunno about that,” he says ruefully. 

Athanasi pulls back, studying Leon with a frown before nodding. “Then I will just have to convince you,” they declare. 

Leon averts his gaze from those soulful guileless eyes. Athanasi is naive, but that’s okay. Leon will continue to protect them, even if he has to protect them from himself. 

With some gentle nudging, Athanasi guides Leon back down and they somehow squeeze onto the same bedroll. As the pair settle, Athanasi begins another story, their soft voice whispering in Leon’s ear until he drifts off to sleep. He has no more nightmares that night, but does dream about bright green eyes, unruly red hair, a cheerful smile, and strong arms holding him together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you AmyIsARealPhelps for the "better than sex" line and ChakolitChip for the idea of Leon thinking he can glass blow. (Spoiler alert: he CANNOT and I can't wait to write that scene.)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athanasi hasn't fully grasped the meaning of self-defense. Later, Leon takes a walk down memory lane. It's not pretty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there will be a flashback that involves murder and fire, though nothing really graphic. If this is not your jam, skip the block of text in italics and I'll give a summary in the end notes.

Despite their slightly rocky start, Leon and Athanasi have a solid thing going now. Athanasi can feed from Leon without Leon feeling drained, they take turns starting campfires, and Athanasi even seems to be getting a better grasp on the concept of morality!

At least, Leon thought they had. 

“Athanasi, why did you just stab that man?” Leon asks with forced calm. They are both standing frozen above a man bleeding out in a thankfully deserted street after they had arrived in a village late at night. As they both remain there, the succubus fiddles with their bloody knife before Leon snatches it out of their hand. “Athanasi, why?” Leon grits out.

Wide green eyes gaze up at him. “You told me that I shouldn’t just let people do things to me without my permission and to use this dagger in self-defense and that man had touched me without asking,” they explain simply. Simply. As if it were that black and white, that easy. Leon gapes at Athanasi incredulously. It’s one thing to know from an indirect standpoint that your cheerful companion is a murderer but quite different to witness it with your own eyes.

He envisions a crossroads before him as Leon flicks his gaze between the man bleeding in the dirt and the succubus watching him with confusion. Something deep within him tells Leon that what he decides now will affect his life more than he may realise at the moment. “If it’s any consolation his aura is stained in blood,” Athanasi says with uncertainty, gesturing to the gurgling man at their feet.

Breathing through the buzzing sound in his head, Leon turns to the succubus. “What does that mean?” he rasps. 

Athanasi’s expression hardens and a look of contempt Leon has never seen in them crosses their face as they stare at the man. “I’ve sucked filth like him dry countless times. They’re the only ones I fed from before you. He finds pleasure in hurting those weaker than him, those who can’t fight back," they spit. Based on how the man ceases his flailing to stare wide-eyed at the pair, Athanasi is onto something. And as simple as that, Leon is filled with clarity. He studies panicked brown eyes and a gaping mouth as the man renews his fruitless thrashing on the ground. Calmly, Leon cleans the dagger off and slips it onto his belt. “Come Nasi, I’m thinking the woods will suit us better tonight,” Leon murmurs, striding away without a second look back. "Then we'll talk."

Athanasi floats beside him silently as they make their way out of the village like spectres into the night.

Leon doesn’t speak again until they are safely tucked away in the woods and he sits staring into a fire. He can feel anxiety brimming off of the succubus in waves as Leon tries to gather his thoughts, but he ignores them for now. 

Part of him knew that giving Athanasi the means to defend themself would bite him in the arse, yet he did it anyway. Why?

Fuck, Leon misses the days when shit was black and white, when people he encountered were either good or bad.

Yet recently, Leon seems to be living in a world of grey and he fucking hates it. He shouldn’t be enabling Athanasi but Leon can’t help but feel that the succubus still isn’t a malicious being. How can you expect someone to know better if they’ve never been taught otherwise? He thinks back to Ciri, to when he first learned about her true identity. If Calanthe hadn’t been killed, is it possible that Ciri would have been raised with her morals? Would Ciri have taken one look at Ewa and cut her down without a second glance? Leon’s blood runs cold at the thought.

Jaskier’s words back in Leon and Ewa’s forge ring in his mind once again. _We don’t choose what we’re born into. What defines us is how we act in response to it._

Athanasi didn’t choose to be ostracized, didn’t choose to be exiled, didn't choose to be a succubus. Yet if what they said is true, Athanasi has only hunted those known for cruelty while seeming to inexplicably possess no cruelty of their own. In their travels Leon has witnessed Athanasi coo at a baby bird, drop coin in a beggar's palm, and hand a child that blue flower they had stolen several towns back. And since Leon has begun teaching them about what it means to be moral, Athanasi has been striving to understand, even if they seem adorably skeptical regarding the concept as a whole.

Taking a breath, Leon finally says slowly, “You can’t kill people just for touching you Nasi. That’s not what self-defense is.”

He turns to the succubus who has wrapped their arms protectively around themselves, curled into a ball and looking far too small. “But you said-”

Leon raises his hand and Athanasi’s mouth clamps shut. “I know what I said,” Leon replies gently. “I clearly wasn’t explicit enough. No one should touch you without your permission but when someone inevitably does, use your words before your knife or fists,” he explains.

“And when you say words-”

“I _don’t_ mean ensorcel them,” Leon nods, causing Athanasi to pout.

“What’s the point of self-defense then?” they demand petulantly, tapping a finger against their arm in irritation.

Despite himself, Leon feels a smile tugging at his lips. “To defend oneself,” he deadpans, privately delighting in Athanasi’s affronted look. Sobering, Leon clarifies, “Self-defense is there for when you have no other option _but_ to defend yourself. If you had tried to dissuade that man and he continued to press forward, then a quick sock in the gut or a punch in the bollocks would’ve done the trick. Something non-lethal.”

Athanasi curls their fingers into a fist, studying it thoughtfully. “I’ve never punched someone before,” they hum. And, Leon is an idiot. An utter twat. A complete nincompoop. Why the _fuck_ would Leon graduate Athanasi to _knives_ before checking to see if the fool knew how to punch?

He knows why. Because the image of resigned green eyes in a face held still by a knife to their throat has haunted Leon since he stumbled upon Athanasi, and Leon wanted to ensure he wouldn’t encounter that image again. But clearly Leon hadn’t used his head. He’s not entirely sure if he’s used his head at all since he’s run into the succubus to be honest.

“Alright, change of plans,” Leon determines, sitting straight. “No more daggers for you until you can prove you can throw a punch and won’t stab the first person who looks at you wrong.” 

“Does this mean you accept my gift back?” asks Athanasi brightly, scooting closer. 

Leon blinks. “Gift?” At the wordless gesture to the knife still strapped to Leon’s belt the half-elf blows out a breath. “Sure Nasi, I accept your gift back, if only to save you from yourself.” A cheerful smile crosses the succubus’ face and fuck, just this hour without seeing that had darkened Leon’s world without him even realising it.

“Athanasi, how are you so kind and cheerful?” he blurts out. The succubus in question tilts their head in question, stretching out their legs as they do. Leon waves his hand in the air uselessly. “Despite your general inability to understand basic concepts of morality, you are kind and gentle to others. But, _how?_ If you had no model for morality how did you have a model for kindness?”

Athanasi hums, turning to study the fire for a long beat. “I suppose when you see auras in every person, it’s easy to be kind because you feel warmth when you look at kind people’s auras. Like yours!” they add, smiling softly at Leon and causing his heart to clench. Him, kind? Athanasi clearly hasn’t been watching him close enough. Shifting again, this time cross legged, Athanasi begins tracing designs in the dirt. This creature can never sit still; they would get along with Lambert and Jaskier.

Oh, _fuck._ Leon thinks back to Lambert’s concerning amount of knives and Jaskier’s many tales of slipping out of his past paramours’ windows. On second thought, Athanasi can never meet them. Ever.

“Even if other people can’t see my aura, I want to give them the same warmth they give me,” Athanasi finishes with a shrug.

“So, those you kill and steal from-”

“Their auras are blood-red or a mixture of other colours that indicate their unkindness or cruelty,” Athanasi confirms with a look of distaste. Shrugging again they add blithely, “Or I want the thing that they have so I take it as I walk by.” Leon facepalms. So close. They were so close. “Sorry Leon,” they whisper, shoulders rising to their ears. “I may not fully understand _why_ you don’t want me to kill people even if their auras are bloody but I know you were looking forward to the tavern’s venison.”

Leon shrugs. Sure, this town always has the best cooked meat but hopefully he’ll be back around here eventually. But he mulls over Athanasi’s words, reflects on how _easy_ it was for Leon to walk away from that man. Fuck. “I’m not the best person to teach you about morality Nasi,” Leon murmurs, averting his gaze.

“Why? You’ve been doing a good job!” Athanasi exclaims. “I sort of understand why I should buy things now,” they add, slightly less confidently.

Leon shrinks into himself with a shaky breath. “You’re not the only one who’s murdered without remorse,” he rasps. Athanasi pauses their aimless sketching and seems to hold their breath while Leon determinately stares into the fire. As he watches the flames lick greedily along the wood, he’s transported back to that day.

_Ewa clutched Leon as he screamed, trying to launch himself at the group of men wearing crimson cloaks and an emblem of a white rose. One man in particular, the leader, stood victoriously over their parents’ mangled corpses with a triumphant bloody smirk. Lazily batting down a flask of kerosene, he turned to sneer at Ewa and Leon. “Bye bye half-breed scum” he spat. And, before their disbelieving eyes, he flicked his hand and flames roared through their family home as the Order of the White Rose filed out their door. Leon seared the monster’s face in his mind as he walked away, though such an action seemed futile since they were about to be burnt alive anyway._

_But Ewa’s numb silence broke in that moment as her screams joined Leon’s, both teens scrambling against the wall furthest from the flames. Amidst Leon’s grief and shock and horror and rage and panic, he could distantly hear shouts sounding outside the cottage. Soon buckets of water were being dumped on the flames and a few moments later Leon and Ewa found themselves miraculously alive with their world completely torn apart._

_It took months to get over the shock and grief enough to begin formulating a plan, weeks to establish one, and another month to draw up enough courage to enact it. But one evening when Ewa was sleeping fitfully (the only kind of sleep they both engaged in now), Leon pulled out the knife his da had gifted him and slipped into the night. Leon knew where they lived, knew where his room was, and knew they weren’t expecting retaliation. The villagers were loyal to Leon and Ewa’s parents, kept Ewa and Leon’s survival a secret. Though that’s about all they did to help the pair. No matter; Ewa and Leon still had each other at least._

_He knew he needed to act quick so the piece of shit wouldn’t cry for help. When he crept through the unlatched window into the bedroom, Leon clamped a hand over the bastard’s mouth before dropping a large lump of ore on his chest to make it difficult to move. As the scum jolted awake in alarm, Leon neatly broke the fingers of one hand before shoving a cloth into the bastard’s mouth so he could tie up the other._

_Then he rested back on his heels calmly. “Do you recognize me?” he asked softly. Those same eyes that had looked so superior months ago now stared back with confusion and pain. But then they widened in recognition. Leon smiled. “Good. I want you to know who killed you. I want you to know that you **failed,”** he hissed, before he truly began his revenge._

_Over an hour later, Leon poured kerosene on the bloody remains before setting the room alight and stumbling out, retching as the Order of the White Rose went up in flames. Poetic justice, right? When Leon staggered back into their hovel, covered in blood and vomit and tears, Ewa was waiting up for him. “You killed them, didn’t you?” she asked quietly. All Leon could do in response was sob and fall into the waiting arms of his sister and the only one left in his world._

“I made him suffer Athanasi,” Leon rasps, staring at the embers of their fire. “Then I burnt them all alive. At least when you killed in the past your victims felt pleasure before their lives ended. At least you did it out of necessity.” He can’t bear to look at those eyes that have gazed at him with nothing but trust and kindness throughout their short acquaintance. Can't bear to see fear or disgust instead. Clenching his eyes shut, Leon hunches into himself more. “So that red and black you saw in my aura? Now you know where it really came from.”

Leon jolts when a soft hand touches his arm after a long moment. Blinking his eyes open, he stares into Athanasi’s face, their expression more concerned than repulsed or afraid. How? “The red in your aura isn’t from evil Leon,” they say gently. “It is warmth and life and love while the man back in that village had a red in his aura that was cold and harsh and cruel. As for those dark edges-” they shrug. “As I said, those can indicate pain inflicted upon you. Considering what you have said about my understanding of morality, I may be missing something but it sounds like what that man did was far worse than what you did, and he derived pleasure from it no less.”

Of course a succubus who thinks it’s a rational thing to stab a man who simply touches them wouldn’t understand. Leon sighs and draws away from that grounding hand, staring listlessly into the dying fire. Another long silence follows. “Would you call Ewa immoral?” Athanasis asks out of the blue.

Whirling towards them Leon exclaims, “Of course not!”

Athanasi shrugs carelessly. “So if she didn’t mind what you did perhaps what you did wasn’t immoral.”

“No that’s not how-” Leon shakes his head uselessly. They're missing the point! “What I’m trying to say is I don’t have a leg to stand on, judging your actions,” he mutters eventually, looking away once more. “And I’m shit at teaching you right from wrong because most days it’s cloudy to even me,” he adds, drawing a tired hand down his face. “All I know is the morals my ma and da taught us and despite my mistakes, I try to honor them.” He’s terrified to think about how they would view him now if they knew about his past actions. Would they be disgusted?

“What kind of things did they teach?” Athanasi asks, lifting Leon's palm to trace designs on it idly.

Leon studies the ground, recalling their lessons. “Look out for the weak, live honestly, lead with kindness, do no harm-” Leon shrugs. Leading with kindness was always one Leon struggled with. Why should he be expected to be kind when others failed to offer the same consideration? One night his ma stayed up with him, stroking his hair and listening to Leon rant and rave about the injustice of it all. Though he still had hair then, his pointed ears would still peek out and that day some humans had cornered him and pushed him into some mud. 

When Leon ran out of breath and slumped against his ma, she kissed his forehead and said, “The greatest weapon we have is our kindness, is our inner strength. When you respond with anger or violence you only poison yourself and then they win.” She pressed their foreheads together, brushing her fingers along his pointed ears. “Don’t let them win, _beag aenye,”_ she murmured, amber eyes bright and burning. It was a lesson he forgot in the years following her and his da’s murder, but as he’s grown, Leon has tried to return to their teachings, to honor them again. He doesn't know if he's done a great job.

A tentative shoulder nudges him. “Want to tell me about them?” Athanasi inquires softly.

“Hm.” Unconsciously, Leon leans against the succubus and soaks up their warmth, their solidity. “My da was a jokester, a prankster, and though my ma would pretend to be exasperated with his tricks she could never hide her smile.” Leon closes his eyes, the image of them still vivid and clear after all these years. “Her smile could wash away my anger and sorrow in an instant. And his laughter was warm like a summer’s day, even when I wanted to be annoyed.” An arm slithers around Leon’s waist and he slumps down to lean his head upon Athanasi’s shoulder.

“My ma grew up essentially alone, her family killed in the Cleansing.” Leon shakes his head incredulously. “You would never know that though from the joy and light she would carry with her.” He frowned. “And she didn’t hold onto resentment or bitterness or hate or anger. Said that such emotions were poisonous.” Leon curls up into himself once more, tucking his head into his knees. “She would be so disappointed in me,” he whispers, voice cracking.

Silence. Then a quiet shuffle of clothing before two arms wrap around Leon and draw him back against a solid chest. Athanasi props their chin upon Leon’s shoulder with a contemplative hum as the half-elf finds himself secure in someone else's embrace for the first time in quite awhile. “I don’t know about that, Leon,” they reflect. “I have travelled with you for some time now and you uphold their values diligently.” A huff of laughter tickles Leon’s ear, causing him to shiver. “In fact, I’m sure they would be impressed since you are trying to teach someone else the morals they instilled in you and I seem to not be the easiest student.”

Leon hums noncommittally, sinking further into the steady embrace. Is that why he’s so dedicated to helping Athanasi? To prove that despite his past actions he is still following the values his parents taught him?

Perhaps. 

As Leon breathes in that soothing honeysuckle scent, he knows he can’t fool himself. Though that might be one of his motivations for helping Athanasi and keeping them around, it certainly isn’t the only one.

They remain silent as wolves howl, owls hoot, and the moon shines bright in the sky. As Leon tilts his head back to look up at the twinkling stars, Athanasi follows his gaze. “Thank you for teaching Leon about right and wrong,” Athanasi says to the sky earnestly. “I am happy that I have such a good teacher who learned from two incredible creatures. I wish I had met you.” Leon’s throat tightens and his eyes burn as he tries to fight back his tears. But as Athanasi squeezes Leon reassuringly, the half-elf shatters and begins to sob.

Athanasi flails their arms in panic as Leon starts crying. Oh dear, did they mess up again? Lifting Leon and rearranging him and his gangly limbs so they are facing each other, Athanasi frantically wipes away the tears falling steadily down Leon’s face. “Oh I’m sorry!” they fret. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Athanasi falters as Leon presses forward until his face is buried in the succubus' tunic. Hesitantly, Athanasi wraps their arms back around Leon. “Um. There there,” they say desperately, scrambling for memories of people soothing someone who is crying, but there haven’t been enough instances to witness for Athanasi to know what to do. “Um. I am here?” they try, patting Leon’s back awkwardly. “Don’t cry.” They frown. “Or do cry? If it makes you feel better? Does crying make you feel better? I’ve never actually tried comforting someone while they cried before.”

Hands clutch Athanasi’s tunic as a sound that could be called a laugh if one were being generous emanates from Leon’s gasping mouth. “You’re shit at this Nasi,” Leon croaks.

Athanasi slumps. “I’m sorry!” they wail. “I don’t know how to comfort people!”

Leon draws back, and Athanasi’s heart does that flipping thing as the half-elf looks at Athanasi with utter fondness despite the tears still streaming down his cheeks. “I noticed,” Leon says dryly, taking a shaky breath and angrily wiping away fresh tears. “Sorry for the breakdown. Pretty embarrassing,” he mumbles, looking away.

Athanasi grasps Leon’s hands in their own, stretching to catch his eyes. “No! Crying is a natural process for when someone is very sad, I’m pretty sure!” Athanasi exclaims. They bite their lip. “Sorry for making you sad,” they add meekly. Strong arms wrap around Athanasi and they find that in a pattern that is becoming frequent, they don’t have the urge to feed but instead have the compulsion to simply return the embrace. How strange. They hope they aren’t becoming sick between this and the thing their heart keeps doing.

“You didn’t do anything wrong Nasi,” Leon says, voice muffled as he burrows his face in Athanasi’s tunic once more. “Just-opened the floodgates.” 

Athanasi frowns with confusion. Stroking up and down Leon’s back mindlessly they reply with uncertainty, “But I said something and then you cried.”

Leon releases another shuddering sigh as he grips Athanasi’s tunic tightly. “Your words didn’t make me sad- just...made me feel.” Leon shrugs slightly. “Hard to explain.” Athanasi's frown deepens. Crying is more complicated than it appeared apparently. Have they been doing it wrong? Deciding to drop their questions for now, Athanasi mentally shrugs and shifts so Leon is more secure in their arms.

As they’ve gotten to know Leon further, there are all of these strange and new feelings and thoughts popping up. Like right now. Athanasi has the strong urge to never let Leon go and just keep him safe in their arms forever. What a silly idea! Yet Athanasi doesn’t slacken their arms. They may not be able to hold Leon forever, but they can at least cradle him for the night. That will have to be good enough, they suppose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flashback was of Leon and Ewa witnessing the death of their parents and barely surviving. Later, Leon murders the group who had killed their parents. 
> 
> _Beag aenye_ means "little fire" in elder speech.
> 
> That should be the most amount of angst in this story. Next chapter will find Ewa meeting Athanasi. Think she'll notice the interesting dynamic between them and her brother?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athanasi meets Ewa. Honestly, it could’ve gone worse! Leon counts it as a success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who continues to read and comment! <3
> 
> Mid chapter there will be a dialogue in Elder and you can find the translation in the end notes.

Alloy sits beside Ewa’s workstation and releases a forlorn meow. “Don’t worry girl, he’ll be here soon,” Ewa says with a stroke of black and white fur. Leon is a few days late from his initial estimate but that’s not rare. Knowing him he _had_ to stop in a town completely out of his way because of their mutton or some shit. Refocusing, Ewa breathes slowly while she turns back to the engraving she’s working on. Fucking frilly bullshit. She’s gonna give Leon so much shit for not arriving on time to work on this piece of the order himself. A minute later Ewa curses as her hand slips slightly off center. “Motherfucking cock!” 

“Leon is right. Your detailing work could improve,” a voice observes to her right. Whirling rapidly, Ewa pulls her dagger out and places it to the newcomer’s neck. To their credit, the redhead stays still, a look of intrigue rather than fear on their face. “This is the same knife as Leon’s!” the stranger notes with excitement, green eyes shining in the forge’s light. 

Ewa’s eyes narrow, her grip tensing. “How the fuck do you know that?” She growls.

“Fuck _there_ you are Nasi! What did I say about running off and of course you’ve already found yourself with a knife to your throat.” Ewa watches with vague amusement as Leon moves from panicked to resigned in the space of a breath as he rushes into the forge. 

She glances back at this Nasi person who is now beaming towards Leon despite how that causes Ewa’s dagger to dig into skin. “Sorry Leon! But you were eyeing that broach so I was practicing the ‘walk away’ technique so I don’t feel the urge to steal it and then I found a cat and then I found Ewa!” 

Ewa’s mind races as she attempts to follow the bubbly stranger’s rapid babble, catching up after a moment. “You’re a thief?” She says dangerously, tightening her grip on her knife. Ewa blinks dumbly when that bright smile turns to her. How do they look so...guileless? 

“Leon is teaching me about morality,” Nasi informs her with a solemn nod. 

What the fuck. 

Rubbing his face tiredly Leon mutters, “Ewa, meet my friend Athanasi. Athanasi, how did you end up with a dagger to your throat?” 

“She apparently didn’t like your comment about her detailing work,” Athanasi explains in a stage whisper. Ewa watches with intrigue as Leon debates whether to laugh or scream. 

When he walks closer to see what Ewa is working on, Leon chooses laughter to her disgruntlement. “Shit sis, how do you survive without me?” He chortles. Growling, Ewa steps far enough away from Athanasi to punch Leon, her dagger still placed to the stranger's throat. 

“Ooo! Maybe you can teach me to punch!” Athanasi says, bouncing on their heels. “Leon says he’s not teaching me anymore after I gave him a black eye.” 

This ray of sunshine? Giving her giant of a brother a black eye? When Ewa shoots Leon a questioning glance he simply crosses his arms with a scowl. “They failed to warn me that they were going to try punching me before they did so,” he grumbles, scuffing his boot on the ground petulantly.

Ewa’s lips twitch. “Element of surprise is a good tactic. You’re just a shit fighter little bro,” she says lightly. And, deciding that Athanasi doesn’t seem like an _immediate_ threat, Ewa takes a step back but keeps the knife in her hand. 

“I don’t understand. I thought you were twins?” Ewa raises an incredulous brow at the stranger wearing a befuddled expression before turning to Leon. Is this person serious? 

She’s surprised to see a fond smile playing on Leon’s lips as he gazes at Athanasi. Huh. Interesting. “Ewa likes to lord over me the fact that she was born a few minutes earlier,” Leon huffs, shoving Ewa good-naturedly. 

Athanasi tilts their head, glancing between the siblings. “If you love each other though why are you punching and hitting each other?” 

Ewa stares at Athanasi with incomprehension as the redhead continues to wear a look of polite confusion. Who the fuck is this person and how the fuck did they end up with Leon?

Leon claps a hand on Athanasi’s shoulder with a smirk. “ _Some_ people enjoy showing affection through violence,” he says with a disapproving brow at Ewa before doubling over as Athanasi socks him in the gut. 

A hopeful smile crosses their face. “Did I do it right?” Athanasi asks tentatively.

Ewa can’t help it. Breaking into laughter while her brother glowers at her from where he’s clutching his stomach, Ewa wraps an arm around the newcomer. “I can tell you’re gonna fit in just fine my friend,” she remarks, blinking when Athanasi beams at her. Shit they have a bright smile. 

“How exciting! Now I have two friends!” they say gleefully, clapping their hands together. Ewa simply smiles bemusedly. What a curious fellow.

Straightening, Leon crosses his arms with a huff. “You’ll be down one friend if you keep causing me bodily harm,” he grumbles, expression immediately softening when Athanasi’s face falls. Sighing, Leon punches Athanasi in the arm softly. “When you want to show affection, that’s how much strength you should be putting into a punch,” he explains gently. Ewa witnesses the interaction with narrowed eyes. She’s never seen her brother act so...soft, so patient with anyone other than her and Ciri. It’s a good look on him. She studies Leon and Athanasi as the newcomer practices “violent affection” as they call it while Leon grins like an idiot. Hm. Clearly there’s something brewing between them. Whether these two knumbskulls know that or not remains to be seen though. 

*******

Leon takes a hearty chug of mead, sighing with relief as Athanasi and Ewa laugh at something together. Thank the gods their introduction is going well, despite its rocky start. He just has to figure out how to break the whole “succubus” thing to Ewa now. They don’t keep secrets from each other and this can’t be an exception, especially since it doesn’t seem like Athanasi plans to go anywhere anytime soon. He watches warily as Athanasi presses a shoulder to Ewa and shivers slightly, the only visible sign that they’re feeding. But by Ewa’s lack of response, it seems that just like Leon, she doesn’t actually feel drained. Good. 

“So back up back up: why the fuck don’t you know basic shit like stealing is bad?” Ewa asks, gesturing with her tankard of mead. Leon takes a breath as Athanasi glances with uncertainty at him. He’s glad he insisted they come home rather than go out tonight. What they need to reveal won’t necessarily go over well near strangers. He doesn’t even know if it will go over well with Ewa. Leon prepped Athanasi beforehand to let him take the lead so hopefully the succubus will actually follow his directions correctly for once. 

“Athanasi...didn’t grow up with the right role models,” Leon starts slowly. 

“And by that he means I didn’t grow up with any role models because I was kicked out by the elders when they determined I was defective,” Athanasi pipes in. Leon sighs as Ewa leans back to study Athanasi with renewed interest and wariness. She knows better than to pry into someone’s background though so she remains silent. But Athanasi has dropped too many mysterious details in that one statement for Leon to move forward with his initial plan now. He honestly shouldn’t be surprised at this point. 

You know what? Might as well just rip off the bandage.

“Athanasi is a succubus, okay?” Leon blurts out. “Just, not an ordinary succubus.”

Ewa blinks and glances between the pair, lips twitching. “You? Befriended a succubus?” She asks, voice sounding strangled. Leon scowls. Ewa knows that Leon doesn't engage in sex after she tried setting him up one too many times and all her attempts failed, so she’s probably finding this hilarious. 

“I’m a succubus but I don’t like sex so I just feed on physical affection instead,” Athanasi explains cheerfully. 

Leon gulps as Ewa scrambles backwards, clutching the shoulder Athanasi had been leaning against. He was afraid of that. Without knowing Athanasi it can seem like a violation and feel terrifying, not knowing how their powers work. As she stands up and pulls out her knife Ewa glares at Leon. “What the fuck Le?” She demands.

Bolting to his feet, Leon raises his hands placatingly. “They’re not dangerous Ewa,” he soothes. “Athanasi has been feeding on me since we met and I haven’t felt any different.” 

But Ewa doesn’t relax. In fact, that seems to only make her grow more tense. Leon knows why; he should’ve expected this given her history. “There’s no way for you to know that for sure Le,” Ewa says, eyes wild as she swivels between Leon and the succubus who is sitting still and placidly, observing Ewa with bright eyes.

“You have been hurt and I’m sorry. But I don’t want to hurt you. Your aura is too warm,” Athanasi says softly, clutching their hands together.

Ewa freezes to stare at the succubus. “What do you mean by that?” she asks warily, her hand trembling slightly. 

Athanasi rises, tilting their head back to look Ewa in the eyes. “You have some of the same dark patches as Leon, yet your center glows red and golden like him as well.” Athanasi takes a daring step forward before placing a palm over Ewa’s heart. She remains still like a cornered animal. “How could I ever harm a heart so pure?” they inquire, tilting their head with a frown. 

Shaking herself, Ewa takes a rapid step back, colliding into Leon’s chest. Leon wraps his arms around his sister before placing a gentle hand over the knife. “They won’t hurt us _me ichaer_ ,” he murmurs in her ear. 

_“Spar’le,”_ Ewa barks. 

Leon kisses Ewa’s cheek. _“Neén.”_

Ewa turns in his arms to gaze up at Leon, looking lost. _“Que suecc’s?”_ She demands. 

Leon grips Ewa’s arms gently. _“Caelm,”_ he soothes.

_“Thaesee aep,”_ Ewa snarls.

Biting back a smile at his sister’s ferality, Leon states calmly, _“N’te tearth torc’h aen Athanasi.”_ He doesn’t blame Ewa for not trusting them, for being afraid. But he desperately wants her to like Athanasi, to see the inconceivably gentle and kind soul within them. 

Yet she only shakes her head fiercely. _“Esseath foilé.”_

_“Mire,”_ Leon coaxes, turning Ewa to face Athanasi who is watching their interaction with interest. _“Aé vaer’trouv Athanasi.”_

_“N’te. D’yaebl!”_ Ewa protests, trembling in Leon’s grasp.

 _“Esse ell’ea, aé zvaere,”_ Leon vows, guiding Ewa to face him once again. 

Ewa tightens the grip on her knife with a scowl before melting into his touch slightly. _“Aé esse glosse,”_ she says stubbornly. Leon smiles softly. He wouldn’t expect anything less.

_“Yeá eimyr,”_ he teases, using his childhood nickname for her as he flicks her ear. 

Batting his hand away irritably Ewa drags Leon into a hug. _“Varh’he,”_ she mumbles, causing him to release a rumbling laugh. Leon feels relief washing through him as they hug; even if Ewa doesn’t fully trust Athanasi she believes in Leon enough to follow his lead. Leon closes his eyes, taking time to breathe in the remnants of metal and flame infused in her skin from her hours at the forge and the lingering aroma of the coconut oil Ewa rubs into her box braids. They soak up each other’s touch for a long moment before they’re interrupted.

“Was that your mother’s tongue?” Athanasi asks eagerly, making Ewa stiffen.

“You’ve told them about her?” Ewa hisses, eyes widening. Considering it took Ewa years to share anything about their parents with Ciri and they don’t talk about their personal lives with anyone else, it must be a shock hearing that. He doesn’t even know how to explain it to Ewa. _Yeah, I learnt that Athanasi could read my entire personal history in my aura and then later I witnessed them murder some random person on the street and felt like sharing my own time down murder alley?_ Fuck, Leon can’t keep anything from Ewa but maybe that can be a story for another day.

Pressing a reassuring kiss to Ewa’s forehead, Leon gazes over Ewa’s head as he continues to hold her close. “Yes, we grew up speaking both Common and Elder in our home,” Leon murmurs.

He watches with amusement as Athanasi grips their chair as they try to control their excited bouncing. “Could I learn some words perhaps? It sounds like a beautiful language,” they gush. 

Ewa digs her fingers into Leon’s back before turning to glare at Athanasi. “You are not one of us,” she hisses, before stalking towards the door and throwing on her cloak. “I’ll be in the forge.”

Leon sighs as Ewa storms into the night with Alloy in her trail while Athanasi stands to watch her go. “Should I leave?” They ask fretfully, shifting back and forth. “I do not wish to cause strife between you two.” 

Drawing Athanasi into a hug, Leon squeezes them tight as the succubus immediately melts into the embrace. “It’s not you exactly,” he explains, breathing in his companion’s scent to help ground himself. “Ewa just has some...trust issues given our past.”

Athanasi burrows into Leon’s chest and he can’t tell if it’s to feed or to seek comfort. “Why are people so cruel?” They ask plaintively, lifting beseeching eyes up to Leon. Oh, definitely for comfort then. 

Brushing a thumb over Athanasi’s furrowed brow Leon presses their foreheads together. “I wish I could say Nasi,” he sighs. “But in truth I don’t know why. I just don’t.”

*******

Athanasi lies curled up with Leon in bed, their mind racing. Leon had warned them before they arrived in Hagge that Ewa may be prickly and distrustful at first but Athanasi hadn't realised the true extent until this evening. Since Ewa left, Athanasi has had this odd uncomfortable feeling in their stomach, nothing like the feeling they get when they think or look at Leon. They want it to go away but don’t know how. Maybe if they talk to Ewa and get her to see that they’re not so bad? They will have to try that tomorrow. But how? 

Sighing, Athanasi wiggles closer into Leon’s arms. They were relieved that Leon brought them to his bed without hesitation once Ewa left. Athanasi doesn’t know why but when they are held by Leon they feel a warmth and comfort that doesn’t come from feeding. They aren’t quite sure what it means but they don’t think it’s bad. Nothing that feels so nice could be. 

As they follow the sound of Leon’s slow breaths, Athanasi finally begins relaxing and easing off to sleep when they find themself unceremoniously dragged away. Releasing a soft “eep,” Athanasi ends up hauled out of the room and face to face with an irate half-elf. “What the fuck are you doing to him?” Ewa hisses, gripping their tunic tightly. 

Athanasi tilts their head. “Leon says that it is called cuddling?” They say with uncertainty, releasing an “oomph” as they’re shoved against the wall. 

“Cut the bullshit,” she barks. Athanasi shrinks under her glare, used to seeing kindness in identical amber eyes, not venom. 

“I swear, I wish Leon no harm,” they whimper. “He saved me! In more ways than one,” Athanasi admits, dropping their gaze down. They had never felt so… _alive_ before encountering Leon. Athanasi wasn’t aware that they hadn’t truly been living until they met a half-elf with wary yet warm eyes and a smile that shines straight into their chest. They don’t want to let him go and lose all these strange new feelings but they will if that is what’s needed. “Do you want me to leave?” They ask meekly, drawing their gaze back up and watching Ewa’s resolve slightly falter. 

“You would do that?” She asks dubiously. “Just...walk away?” 

Athanasi wraps their arms around themselves, missing the solidity and solace they experience in Leon’s embrace. With a moment of hesitation, they nod. “If that is what you wish. If that is what will make you happy?” Athanasi slumps. “I just want you and Leon happy.”

They relax slightly as Ewa takes a step back, flipping her knife and eyeing Athanasi skeptically. “I don’t fucking buy it,” she states firmly.

“Do you _want_ me to be selling something?” They ask hesitantly, digging through their pockets to see if they have anything of value but coming up empty.

Ewa stares at Athanasi for awhile before shaking her head. “Why were you sleeping with him?” She demands.

Athanasi shrugs. “That’s just what we did the first night we met and we’ve continued it since.” They cock their head thoughtfully. “I am not sure why; I do not need to feed for so long but cuddling is-“ their brow furrows. “Nice?” 

For the first time since earlier this evening, Athanasi sees Ewa’s lips twitch into the beginning of a smile before it fades too soon. Athanasi sags. They will just have to find ways to make her smile more. Stepping into their space again Ewa says lowly, “You hurt him, I stab you. Got it?” 

Instead of answering, Athanasi gets distracted by the knife she brandishes. “How do you and Leon have the same knives?” They ask curiously, pointing to the blade pressing against their neck again.

Ewa hesitates, stepping back and hunching her shoulders defensively. Tracing a finger down the flat of the blade she murmurs, “Our da made them for us, gave it in secret. Our ma didn’t believe in violence but she probably knew we had them anyway.” A wistful smile crosses her face. “We could never get anything past her.” 

Athanasi settles onto the ground and cocks their head. “Would you like to talk about them?” Ewa’s expression shutters shut and she’s about to speak words that Athanasi has a feeling will be angry when a cat crawls into Athanasi’s lap. Gasping, Athanasi hovers their hands over the animal before gazing up at Ewa with a pleading look. “May I pet her?” they ask desperately, biting their lip. Ewa’s face is unreadable as she glances between Athanasi and Alloy. When Leon told Athanasi that he had a cat, it further motivated them not to steal or kill anyone so they could get to the cat sooner. But Ewa has a knife and Alloy is also her cat and Leon is teaching Athanasi about “asking for permission.”

After a long moment, Ewa gives a minute nod. Beaming, Athanasi gently brushes their fingers through black and white fur. “So soft,” they breathe, cooing when Alloy releases a meow. They’ve never pet a cat before but it may be their new favorite thing to do in the whole wide world. 

They are so enthralled with their new companion that Athanasi misses when Leon trudges over from where he had been watching the whole interaction from the doorway. “Yes, as you can see Athanasi is a cold hearted murderer who cuddles and enjoys petting cats,” he remarks dryly, nudging Ewa gently. 

Ewa shoves him with a grunt. “Doesn’t mean I trust them,” she mumbles, leading Leon to shrug. 

“I’m not asking you to. Just...try to get to know them before you decide to stab them, yeah?” When Ewa simply grunts again, not removing her gaze from the succubus aggressively cuddling a cat, Leon rolls his eyes fondly and shuffles back to bed. He’ll leave them to it; personally he needs his beauty sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> L: They won’t hurt us my blood  
> E: Attack!  
> L: No  
> E: What’s going on?  
> L: Calm  
> E: Shut up  
> L: Do not fear Athanasi’s power  
> E: You’re mad  
> L: Look. I trust Athanasi  
> E: Do not. Devil!  
> L: We will be okay, I swear  
> E: I will be watching  
> L: Okay hedgehog  
> E: Bitch


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leon definitely knows how to make blown glass. Alloy is a good judge of character. Ewa is just...trying. And Ciri shows that she knows how to talk first, stab second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you **aetherio** for making me realise that I FAILED TO INCLUDE A SCENE FROM ALLOY'S POV EVEN THOUGH SHE MAKES AN APPEARANCE LAST CHAPTER. I'm happy to announce I remedied my mistake this chapter. 
> 
> Credit to **Leiras** for the length of this chapter because their comment made me come up with a whole other scene that was incredibly indulgent but made me very happy.
> 
> Also it feels like forever since I last updated so if it's felt that way for you too I apologise. I've been in the middle of moving and having family visit so things have been a bit hectic!

Ewa and Athanasi have formed a wary truce. And by truce Leon means that Ewa stares threateningly at Athanasi while flipping her knife and Athanasi follows her around like an overeager duckling, volunteering their service to help cook, clean, or, on one memorable occasion, take over the detailing on a plate she was working on. (That last one got Athanasi thrown out of the forge for the rest of the day.)

Leon has just been watching on helplessly. It’s like witnessing a dog trying to befriend a hissing cat. It would be pathetic if it weren’t so damn endearing. But Leon knows that Ewa will warm up to Athanasi; she just doesn’t trust easy. Ewa also hasn’t seen Ciri in a couple of months and even with that gift Yennefer got them, Ewa gets crabby when she can’t hold her partner after too long. He’s given up trying to think about what to say to Ciri once she arrives so she doesn’t kill Athanasi on sight though; one step at a time Leon tells himself. 

Glancing up from the armor he’s working on, Leon spots Athanasi fiddling with that pendant they always wear. Today, it matches the simple grey frock they slipped on in the morning. And bless Ewa for not blinking at Athanasi’s rejection of gender as a construct. Gods sometimes he really loves his sister. 

“Leon, do you think you could make something out of glass like this?” Athanasi asks, tilting the opal into the light. Leon pauses his work to cock his head curiously. “Remember? When I stole the flower? You said you could make something better!” Athanasi explains cheerfully, heedless of how Ewa tenses at their words. Right, the whole morality problem hasn’t helped endear Athanasi to her. Ewa and Leon face enough bigotry and distrust as it is; fraternising with a thief makes her understandably nervous. 

“When you gave it to that little girl crying in the street the next town over I swear her whole face lit up,” Leon says pointedly, smirking at Ewa’s scowl. If there’s one thing he wants Ewa to understand about Athanasi, it’s that they are more layered than they may appear.

“Mm. Her aura was already tainted with so much darkness for such a young one,” Athanasi says mournfully, stroking Alloy who is sprawled on one of the empty workspaces. Spoiled cat doesn’t have to beg for attention like usual when she’s got two free hands at her disposal. After that first night, Alloy seems to have determined that Athanasi is part of her clowder now and follows them nearly everywhere. 

“You keep talking about that. Auras,” Ewa murmurs, face hidden by her draping braids as she works to weld some hot metal. 

“Yes! Succubi can see auras-” 

As Athanasi repeats what they had shared with Leon when they first started travelling together, Leon thinks back to their request. He did claim he could glass blow better than that merchant, didn’t he? Well, they should have some glass buried somewhere. Knowing Ewa’s obsession with organisation, she could probably name exactly where Leon could find it too. He’ll finish this order first, then get to making something for Athanasi. They deserve something nice. 

*******

Ewa is really trying to resist the succubus’ wiles but it’s proven to be difficult. They are friendly and charming in their own peculiar way, even if they can’t cook to save a life. Not surprising, since they have an entirely different way to feed. And that’s why Ewa refuses to submit to their eager attempts of befriending her. How does she know that they’re not just trying to ensorcell her? How does she know Leon hasn’t been under their influence this whole time? 

She’s desperate for Ciri to get here soon so she can help untangle this. When they spoke through their megascope last week, Ewa mentioned that she could use Ciri’s expertise with something, not wanting to go into too much detail without Ciri being here herself. But her starlight promised she would shift course and make her way towards Hagge so she should be arriving soon. Hopefully the succubus doesn’t make their move before she gets here. 

Ewa watches with bemusement as Leon swears and mutters to himself while attempting to heat the glass. Smithing is not the same as glassblowing; her brother is simply an idiot or is under the influence of the succubus. When she spots Athanasi’s excited expression as they watch on, Ewa purses her lips. It does seem a bit odd, a succubus ensorcelling someone to make them a bloody necklace. What’s their damn angle?

“Do I wanna know what the fuck I just walked into?” a voice sounds from behind her. 

“Starlight!” Ewa exclaims, spinning and launching herself at her partner while Leon’s cursing grows louder and more emphatic. As Ciri draws her into a heated kiss, Ewa melts in her embrace. Fuck she missed her starlight. 

“Take it outside!” Leon calls as they continue to kiss. 

“Leon! That’s not a polite way of greeting Ciri!” Athanasi chastises. 

Pulling away, to Ewa’s utter disappointment, Ciri’s eyes narrow. “You know you have something magical in your shop?” Ciri murmurs.

Ewa nods towards Athanasi. “Leon befriended a succubus. Hoped you could figure out what their angle is.” 

Ciri’s hand shifts to the swords strapped to her back, hesitating when Leon steps in front of the succubus. “Really Ewa?” he demands, and she feels a trickle of guilt when Leon turns an injured gaze to her. “Athanasi is fucking _harmless!”_ he exclaims. “If they were really taking advantage of me don’t you think you’d know by now?” 

“Succubi are able to ensorcel people Leon,” Ciri says gently, stepping forward while Leon pushes Athanasi back. 

“They have to flirt in order to do that and trust me, our interactions have been as far from flirting as possible,” Leon insists wryly. 

Ciri pauses, head tilting. “How would you know what they do to ensorcel people Leon?” she asks calmly. 

Leon blinks, mouth opening and shutting. “A man was being unkind to Leon because of his ears but we had a long talk after and now Leon is teaching me about morality and I don’t need to hunt down people with bloody auras like that man to feed on anymore because I can feed on hugs,” Athanasi says in a rush, voice sounding incredibly small as wide green eyes peer around Leon’s protective arms. Shit, that’s not the face of a coldhearted manipulator. 

But Ciri doesn’t waver. ”Have you killed?” 

Even from behind Leon it’s easy to see Athanasi shrink. “Leon is trying to teach me that it’s bad to kill even if people have bloody auras and even though it’s hard for me to understand I’m trying to!” Athanasi whimpers, ducking around Leon to throw themself in Leon’s arms. 

“Athanasi grew up with no one to teach them right from wrong, yet they’ve been working hard to learn since we met. Are we to punish them for not knowing any better?” Leon demands. At his words Ciri falters, frowning as she takes in the trembling figure wrapped protectively in Leon’s arms. As she does Ewa can’t help but recall a conversation she and Leon had after that mess of a winter. Ewa and Leon were alone in the forge at one point when she asked what Jaskier had said to convince Leon to come to Kaer Morhen in the first place. His response about what Jaskier said about Ciri was enlightening. Fuck, she’s been a bit of a hypocrite, hasn’t she? Ewa’s distrust and dislike of Athanasi mirrors Leon’s reaction to Ciri’s revelation far too closely. 

But that’s not surprising, is it? It’s only been Ewa and Leon for over a decade now. When all you have is each other, anyone new must be faced with wariness, with caution, even with suspicion. And though Leon was initially open to welcoming Ciri because Ewa was so obviously in love, learning about a darker aspect to her identity caused his alarm bells to ring. It was so much simpler for Ewa to accept the fondness Leon and Athanasi clearly hold for each other when Athanasi was just a random person Leon encountered. Discovering that Athanasi is not only a succubus but also feeds on physical affection, the only kind Leon would ever willingly provide, caused Ewa’s protective instincts to rear their heads. 

But Ewa knows Leon as well as she knows herself. And she hasn’t been honest with herself, has she? Ewa would know if Leon was ensorcelled, was being influenced in some way. And though Leon has been acting like a lovesick fool, perhaps that’s all it is: love. 

Oh _fuck_ is her brother in love? 

Taking in the way that Leon murmurs softly in Athanasi’s ear while stroking their hair softly, Ewa feels as though she’s been kicked in the chest by a mule. Thankfully, Ciri speaks once again, distracting Ewa from her internal crisis, at least temporarily. “You vouch for this creature?” she asks slowly, gaze piercing. 

Leon tightens his arms. “With my life,” he vows, missing how Athanasi looks up at him, eyes burning with what Ewa now recognizes as love, seeing it in Ciri’s expression enough times. Shit. 

Grunting, Ciri finally draws her hand away from her scabbard. “He’s not bewitched if that’s what you were worried about E,” she reports. “Succubi can only nudge people in a direction they would already be willing to go otherwise. If Leon didn’t truly care about them he wouldn’t be attempting to protect them so much.” And with that aside, Ciri flashes a small smile to the still trembling succubus. “I’m Ciri, but you seemed to already know that,” she says, reaching out her hand. 

But Athanasi only eyes it warily. “Leon has been teaching me how to punch and stab people but I do not wish to hurt you in order to defend myself because Ewa and Leon like you,” they say meekly, timid eyes peeking out beneath wayward curls. “Do you promise you aren’t trying to trick me and won’t try hurting me when I approach you?” 

Ciri looks stricken. “Of course I wouldn’t! Who would do something like that?” 

Fiddling with the hem of their frock, Athanasi shrugs, scuffing their boot. “It’s happened enough times,” they mumble. 

“Athanasi is a fast runner,” Leon remarks, lips twitching as though he’s telling a secret joke. And when Athanasi tilts their head to beam at Leon-fuck. These two idiots are completely gone for each other. Ewa feels a sickening curdle of guilt in her gut. Yet at the same time, she knows she wouldn’t have been able to fully relax without Ciri’s expert opinion. Doesn’t mean that Leon and Athanasi may not be owed an apology. Right then.

As Athanasi reaches out to tentatively shake Ciri’s hand, Ewa walks up to Leon. “If I say that Ciri being here so soon after you arrived with a succubus in tow is a complete coincidence will you believe me?” Ewa asks weakly. 

Turning from where he’s watching Athanasi coo over Ciri’s swords from a reasonable distance, Leon hums. “I’m gonna have to call bullshit on that I’m afraid,” he says lightly, and Ewa relaxes at the glimmer of mirth in his eyes. Good, so he’s not furious then. 

“I feel like an apology is in order yet I also think that I was justified,” Ewa states stubbornly, flicking a braid from her eyes. Chuckling, Leon pulls Ewa into a hug and Ewa wraps her arms tightly around him, releasing a shaky sigh. 

“Don’t lie and say this isn’t just payback for putting a knife to Ciri’s throat,” he says good-naturedly. And fuck Ewa can’t believe they can laugh about that now; she never imagined they would get to this point during those miserable months. 

“Wait! Leon! Why do you get to put a knife to people’s throats?” Athanasi demands with an honest to gods pout. Shit that shouldn’t be so oddly endearing. 

Rubbing his face tiredly Leon groans, “Long story Nasi. And I did warn you that I’m not always the best to teach you about morality.” As Athanasi starts badgering Leon with questions, Ewa and Ciri meet each other’s eyes and slip out. Some alone time would be nice. 

*******

“So...Leon,” Ciri prompts, making Ewa scowl from where she was kissing down her neck.

“Don’t we have a big ‘no talking about other people in bed’ rule?” she grumbles. 

Chuckling, Ciri draws E up so she can kiss that pout off her face. “This is usually true, but we are both still fully clad and I think this is a conversation we need to be having.” Finding a succubus in Leon and Ewa’s shop was certainly a surprise. Finding a succubus who is clearly in love with Leon however was even more of a shock. “Think they know?” Ciri asks with a raised brow. 

Growling, E faceplants onto the bed like a dramatic shit. “Highly doubtful.” 

“Hm.” Ciri plays with one of E’s braids idly for a moment. Growing up around Jaskier and Geralt has made Ciri an expert at lovesick idiots so this is familiar territory for her. “Are we going to help them out?” 

The groan that sounds from Ewa’s mouth could belong in a slaughterhouse. “When will we be done with discussing my brother’s love life?” she moans. 

“Fine, then I guess it’s just up to me to help Leon get with the love of his life,” Ciri says with a languid shrug, grinning impishly at E as she turns on her cheek to glare at her. 

“I hate you,” she grumbles.

Ciri can’t help herself from bopping Ewa’s nose; she’s too damn adorable. “Hmm well I don’t happen to sleep with people who hate me soooo...” 

Ciri squeaks as her trousers are unceremoniously tugged off. “You’re a little shit,” E says, breath tickling against Ciri’s skin. 

“Takes one to know one,” Ciri gasps before releasing a low moan when E finds her target. Any other witty comments flee Ciri’s mind as Ewa methodically begins to make up for lost time. 

*******

Athanasi is asking Leon a follow up question about proper times to stab people when the blacksmith curses and races over to where he had been working earlier. “Fuck Nasi I’m sorry,” he sighs, picking up a piece of broken glass. “I’d like to say I got distracted by Ciri arriving but to be honest I had no bloody clue what I was doing,” he mumbles, brandishing a jagged piece of purple glass. 

Eyes widening, Athanasi gently takes it from him, cradling it in their palm. “It’s _perfect,”_ they breathe, pulling off their necklace and frantically attempting to tear the pendant off. 

Chuckling, Leon takes the necklace to help Athanasi out before hesitating. “You sure you don’t want to keep this?” he asks, holding it up. 

Without hesitating, Athanasi shakes their head firmly. “I stole that from one of my first victims. But now you are teaching me not to kill and not to steal. It’s suitable that I replace it with something you created then, no?” they ask with a tilt of their head. When Leon simply stares at them, mouth open, Athanasi wonders briefly if they said something wrong again. But after a long moment Leon tugs Athanasi into a tight hug so they think everything is okay. 

“In that case I’m getting you a new chain too,” he mumbles in Athanasi’s hair. “A fresh start, k?” Athanasi nods happily, soaking up Leon’s warmth without actually feeding from him, a common habit they find themselves falling into. They’ve found that they don’t get hungry as frequently when they feed from physical affection, so they are able to draw very small pulses of energy at a time once a day or so and be fine. Even though they don’t need to feed very often, Athanasi can’t help but take any opportunity to touch or hug or cuddle up against Leon. It’s just...nice. 

Pulling away, Leon studies the piece of glass. “Let me at least sand that down first so it doesn’t stab you in the neck,” he says amusedly, touching one of its jagged edges. 

Athanasi presses the glass to their chest protectively. “But I like it how it is,” they protest. 

Their heart does some somersaults when Leon just smiles at Athanasi. “Promise I won’t change it at all, just gonna dull it. It’ll feel more comfortable that way.” Pouting, Athanasi stares at the perfect piece of glass before looking at Leon. Well, he hasn’t steered them wrong yet. Except for that time when they got lost for half a day. 

Placing it in Leon’s waiting hand, Athanasi darts into his open arms for another hug. “Thank you Leon,” they say fervently. Athanasi isn’t positive about what they’re thanking Leon for exactly; there seems to be too many reasons lately to count. They remain like that for a lovely moment and Athanasi gratefully takes in Leon’s steady heartbeat and enchanting scent of fire and mint. 

Wait, since when have they noticed what Leon smells like?

“C’mon, we’re heading to a tavern,” Leon says, hooking an arm around Athanasi’s shoulder. 

Allowing themself to be led, Athanasi tilts their head to look at Leon curiously. “You don’t want to have dinner with Ciri and Ewa?” they inquire, watching with interest as Leon blanches. 

“Knowing them they are engaging in a meal we want no part in,” he says with a shudder as they enter the street. 

Athanasi frowns, trying to understand what Leon means when it hits them. “Oh, you mean like sex!” they exclaim, blinking when the people they pass stare. 

Releasing a rumbling laugh Leon remarks, “Well if theft or murder don’t get us chased out of town there’s always public indecency.” 

Grimacing at the reminder that they need to be more careful now that they are in Leon’s home, Athanasi softly apologises. They melt at Leon’s reassuring squeeze. “S’okay Nasi, you’ve been doing really well.” Turning to look down at them, Leon smiles in the way that always makes Athanasi’s heart flutter. “I’m proud of you.” And now those words make Athanasi’s heart do leaps, somersaults, and flips all at once. Oh dear. They should really go to a healer or something to get that checked out. As Leon continues to smile softly, Athanasi leans their head against Leon’s shoulder with a sigh. For now, they will set that worry aside and simply enjoy their time with Leon. They only hope it won’t have to end anytime soon.

*******

Alloy follows metal brother and one who-smells-like-metal-brother-and-who-gives-good-pets into the place with lots of two leggeds and yummy smells. Even though metal sister and one-who-smells-like-metal-sister are back in their litter, Alloy knows that they are doing the cuddling that doesn’t involve four leggeds. But wherever metal brother and one who-smells-like-metal-brother go is sure to lead to yummy food and lots of pets, so that’s who she’ll stick with. Alloy is happy that she met one who-smells-like-metal-brother. Not only because one who-smells-like-metal-brother also gives good pets but also because they make metal brother show the human sign of happiness a lot. They also give good cuddles when Alloy spends the dark time with them. Since it is not the cold time metal brother and metal sister do not spend the dark time together, which is odd. Alloy just has to work extra hard to give cuddles to both of them, which can be very very hard. Alloy’s job is very hard. But that’s okay. Because she likes metal brother and metal sister and one who-smells-like-metal-brother and one-who-smells-like-metal-sister, and not just because they give her good pets. For other reasons too.

*******

After they spent some time getting reacquainted, Ciri and Ewa decided to join Athanasi and Leon at the tavern. Ciri is now reevaluating giving Ewa access to alcohol though. "First it starts with cuddling and next thing you know-"

"Sure honey, whatever you say," Ciri says with a pat of Ewa's back.

"I'M JUST LOOKING OUT FOR HIM! He's a helpless child!" Ewa continues to rant, taking a hearty swallow of her ale. 

Deftly pulling the tankard away from Ewa's hand Ciri pats her again. "You recall that you're the same age, right darling?" 

"I AM HIS OLDER SISTER IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY-“

Athanasi and Leon continue to watch Ewa rant from across the table with morbid fascination. "Your sister is very passionate," Athanasi observes.

"That's one word for it," Leon says wryly. 

"Leon-a little help here?" Ciri grits out as Ewa wrestles Ciri to get her tankard back. 

"Sorry Ciri, last time I checked _you_ were the one who decided courting her was a good idea," Leon remarks with a lazy sip of his ale, grinning at Ciri's withering glare. 

"You. Are no help!" Ciri yelps as Ewa attempts an underhanded tactic in order to retrieve her drink. 

Rolling his eyes, Leon drops some coin on their table before hauling his sister up and dragging her out of the tavern by her armpits. "C'mon _eimyr_ time for bed," he croons in her ear as Ewa kicks her legs out fruitlessly. He still remembers how frustrated Ewa was when Leon hit a huge growth spurt and she didn't. You wouldn't think Ewa was two heads shorter than him by the way Ewa fills any room she enters though. 

Letting out a huff of breath when Ewa gets a lucky elbow in Leon grumbles, "Just for that I'm telling Ciri about the first girl you fancied." Grinning at how that causes Ewa to fight harder, Leon continues to haul his spitting sister down the street, Ciri and Athanasi in their wake. 

"Is this what everyone is like drunk?" Athanasi asks with a curious tilt of their head.

"Have you never been drunk before Nasi?" Leon puffs as Ewa digs her heels into the road petulantly. 

"Hm. I don't think succubi can get drunk," Nasi muses. Chuckling at the image of a drunk Athanasi, Leon drops Ewa onto the ground to unlock their door.

"Ciri, I leave this unruly beast in your care," Leon states with a courtly bow in the doorway, grinning down at Ewa as she sticks her tongue at him.

"C'mon E, help me out here," Ciri coaxes, dragging Ewa to her feet. Glaring mulishly at Athanasi, Ewa points at them with an imperious finger. "I still don't like you," she declares, glowering as Athanasi grins at her. 

"That's okay, most people don't!" they chirp. Oh! look! There goes Leon's heart breaking again at another depressing statement said far too casually by Athanasi. In her alcohol-induced haze Ewa just blinks dumbly, her finger drooping slightly. 

"Well, despite our less than ideal meeting I happen to like you," Ciri says, shooting Athanasi a kind smile while letting Ewa lean on her heavily. 

"Thank you for choosing not to stab me," Athanasi says earnestly, picking Alloy up from where she's rubbing their leg with a demanding meow. 

Ciri flashes Leon a questioning glance. "They're being sincere," Leon reassures her dryly. "Athanasi has had a slightly checkered past." Shrugging, Ciri bids them goodnight before lugging Ewa inside. 

Wrapping an arm around Athanasi, Leon follows Ciri. "Thank you for bearing with my overprotective sister," he sighs.

"It's no trouble," Athanasi insists, gazing up at him. "If I had a sibling as loyal as Ewa I know I would've been lucky," they add with a sad smile.

Heart aching, Leon finds himself pressing a kiss to Athanasi's temple. "Well, you have us now," he says firmly. "And despite what Ewa says now I'm sure she will look out for you with equal ferocity once you get to know each other better." 

Allowing Alloy to wiggle out of their grasp and slip into Ewa's room, Athanasi wraps their arms around Leon. "Even if she doesn't that's okay because I have you to look after me," they say, stretching on their toes to peck Leon's cheek. 

Touching a finger to where their lips touched him, Leon blinks down at Athanasi, heart skipping. "And I have you," he murmurs, chest warming at Athanasi's grin. 

Oh fuck. He's screwed. 

*******

Alloy is very happy because while other two leggeds get mean when they smell like that thing that is not safe for four leggeds to drink, metal sister just gets extra cuddly. Alloy is currently getting heavily petted by metal sister while one-who-smells-like-metal sister pets metal sister. It is a big pile of cuddles and pets and it all makes Alloy happy. The only thing that would make Alloy happier is if metal brother and littermate and shouty one and soft one and strong one and the rest of Alloy's litter were here too. But they probably wouldn't all fit on the soft thing so Alloy will settle with the cuddle pile she does have. Nothing wrong with a small litter anyway. Alloy meows as metal sister rubs her head against Alloy like littermate does. Silly metal sister, doesn't she know she's a two legged? Two leggeds can be so dumb sometimes. Releasing a low purr, Alloy head butts metal sister, meowing when metal sister tries to meow at her. Of course, two leggeds don't know how to speak four legged but Alloy will give metal sister credit for trying. Two leggeds are dumb but that's okay because that's why they have four leggeds. And Alloy always looks out for her litter of dumb two leggeds. Alloy’s job is very very hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _eimyr:_ hedgehog


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ewa questions her life choices, Ciri realises she may not be qualified for this, and Athanasi and Leon have a talk. Meanwhile, Alloy works far too hard to receive this kind of treatment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a spoiler but it felt really important to me to preface the chapter with this: there will be two people who identify as ace and kiss in this chapter. **Not everyone who is ace likes to kiss, and there can be a whole range of comfort levels when it comes to kissing and the type** e.g. french, just on the cheek, etc. I'm doing my best to be very conscientious with my portrayal of these characters because asexuality can be such a large spectrum so it was important for me to start the chapter this way. There will be a post-chapter follow up to this note but I didn't want to _completely_ spoil what happens before you read. Enjoy!

Ewa studies the succubus as they fidget with the necklace dangling from their neck. “That new?” she grunts, nodding to the misshapen piece of purple glass attached to a leather chain. Ciri insisted on accompanying Leon to the marketplace when they realised they were missing some ingredients for dinner, which has left Ewa and Athanasi to spend time together alone to Ewa’s chagrin. 

Athanasi breaks into a beaming smile, green eyes sparkling with light. “Leon made it for me. Isn’t it wonderful?” they sigh dreamily. 

Ewa just hums, turning to chop vegetables methodically. Only someone who is stupidly in love or simply doesn't know better would think that such a lumpy piece of glass was something magical. And tonight she's going to find out for certain where Athanasi lies. “What do you like about Leon?” she asks casually, watching the succubus out of the corner of her eye. 

Before she can find out however, Athanasi blurts out a question at nearly the same time. “Can I tell you something that you don’t repeat to Leon?” 

Ewa stiffens and turns to glare at the succubus. “No. We don’t keep secrets from each other,” she snaps. Especially not after that winter nightmare. 

She watches warily as Athanasi crumples. “It’s just-I don’t want to worry him,” Athanasi mumbles. 

Crossing her arms, Ewa leans against a counter, curiosity piqued. “What do you think would worry him?” Ewa asks, raising a skeptical brow. 

Wide, lost eyes gaze up at her. “I think I’m dying.” 

Well. Shit. 

Straightening, Ewa leans close to Athanasi. They haven’t shown any signs of sickness, but then again, Ewa has no idea what an ill succubus would look like. “What are your symptoms?” she inquires levely, trying to calm her panic. And why is she panicking? It’s not like she _likes_ the irritating succubus. 

A hand presses against their chest. “My heart does these strange flips and somersaults and skips all day!” they exclaim hysterically. “And I don’t know why and I don’t know how to get it to stop!” 

Ewa gapes at the succubus, waiting for the punchline only for none to come. Oh gods. Oh dear Melitele. Oh _fuck._ Are they truly that isolated that Athanasi doesn’t know what it means to feel affection, to feel love? She scrubs her face with a groan. How the fuck has Ewa ended up with this as her responsibility? “Are there certain times of day it seems especially bad?” she grits out, rubbing her temples slowly. 

Athanasi’s brow furrows and they pause their fidgeting, staring down at the necklace. “I suppose whenever Leon smiles at me or laughs or says something or hugs me or when I think about him?” they offer, before their eyes widen. “But that’s not to mean that he’s the problem!” they say in a panic before wrapping their arms around themselves. “Leon is the kindest nicest loveliest warmest friendlist-” 

Ewa raises a hand in a plea for Athanasi to stop and her mouth drops open when Athanasi high fives her. “Leon has also been teaching me about high fiving!” they chirp, bouncing on their feet. “It’s so fun!” When they raise their hand again with a hopeful expression Ewa sighs. How can she say no to that face? 

After they high five again Ewa sinks into a chair at their rickety table, gesturing for Athanasi to do the same. Clasping her hands together, she looks at the odd creature who has somehow captured her brother’s heart. She never thought that anyone would be able to; Ewa’s seen enough people throw themselves at him, often with her direction, but Leon had never been receptive to their advances. For the few that he would indicate some interest in, it would hardly last a week and Ewa was heartbroken when, after confronting him about it, Ewa finally learnt why. So if Athanasi and Leon have the potential to make it work, Ewa is going to do her part. It’s the least she can do for making Leon’s life harder when she tried setting him up all those years ago. 

But she also isn’t going through with this until she knows that Athanasi is ready for such a step. From what Ewa has discovered, the succubus has had hardly any interaction with others that didn’t involve blatant flirting or threats of bodily harm, so who knows if they're emotionally ready for this, or even capable of it. “Athanasi, can succubi love?” she inquires abruptly. 

Pausing the idle figures they were sketching on the table, Athanasi looks up with a hum. “I wouldn’t know. I don’t actually know any succubi,” they shrug. Right, how could Ewa forget? They were told they were "defective" as a child and then exiled. Which reminds her, Ewa would very much like to become a witcher so she can kill some succubi.

“Shit Nasi,” she croaks, filled with horror. “I forgot.” 

Perking up they say excitedly, “You called me Nasi!” 

Shaking her head at the tonal whiplash, Ewa smiles wryly. She’s about to make a comment about how that doesn't mean that she likes them but a hazy memory of how casually they remarked on people not liking them while Ewa was sloshed floats to the surface. No, she can’t say it, even in jest. “I don’t mean to encroach on his territory,” she teases lightly instead. 

Patting her hand Athanasi says reassuringly, “Don’t worry, you’re not.” It’s strange being around someone so sincere all the time; Ewa feels unsteady by it all. Frowning, Athanasi remarks slowly, “Though it’s odd. Usually my heart misbehaves when Leon calls me that name but it's not doing that now.” 

Now it’s her turn to reach out so she can squeeze Athanasi’s hand. “Athanasi, when your heart does all the things you describe, it means you’re in love,” she explains gently. 

Glancing between their linked hands and Ewa, Athanasi frowns. “But I just want to be your friend.” 

Blanching, Ewa pulls her hand away rapidly. “Good!” she squeaks, glancing at the door just in case. Ciri is the jealous type; Ewa learnt that the hard way. “And that's not what I meant. Nasi, when again did you say your heart _especially_ misbehaves?” 

Athanasi’s frown deepens as they cock their head again. “When Leon smiles at me or laughs or says something or hugs me or when I think about him. But why does that matter?” 

Ewa thunks her head on the table with a groan. Melitele help her. “Athanasi, when I was first getting to know Ciri, my heart would do the thing your heart does all the time too,” she says into the wood with forced patience. 

Ewa feels a hand pat her head. “I am glad that you aren’t dead in that case. Perhaps there is hope for me!” 

Whipping her head up with a growl, Ewa grips Athanasi’s face between her hands and shakes them frantically. “You are in _love_ with him you utter nincompoop!” she cries.

And of course, because Ciri and Leon have the worst timing individually which goes double when they’re together, Ewa hears the door open after her pronouncement as she continues to lean across the table and hold Athanasi's face. “Something you'd like to say to me Athanasi?” Ciri says dangerously. Because Ciri trusts that Ewa won't be unfaithful but inexplicably believes that she is so attractive no one else on the Continent can resist her, even if it's _Ewa's_ hands on them. Gods, Ewa is in love with an idiot.

Standing up and grabbing Athanasi’s ear, Ewa stalks out of the door. “We will be back,” she snarls, the succubus obediently following her.

As the door slams shut, Ciri and Leon trade glances. “I don’t know how I feel about them being alone,” Leon says warily, walking further in the room to dump their items on the counter. 

“I’m sure Ewa will only gently maim them,” Ciri remarks casually, watching at how Leon’s eyes widen with panic. 

Before he can race out after them, Ciri snags Leon’s cuff with a roll of her eyes. Bless this foolish man. “They’re _fine_ Leon, you know Ewa wouldn’t hurt them.” 

Shoulders slumping, Leon turns back to the counter. “Not necessarily,” he grumbles. “She asked for you to come after all, didn’t she?” 

Ciri feels a trickle of guilt at the remnants of fear in his voice. “Okay, she won’t hurt them now that I’ve given the okay,” she amends with a wince. 

Amber eyes turn to her, burning with gratitude. “Thank you for talking before stabbing. I know not all witchers would’ve done the same.” Fuck, is he really thanking her for not murdering someone so clearly innocent? Unable to help herself, Ciri tugs Leon into a tight hug without a word, sighing as those solid arms wrap around her. There was a time when she thought she would never get this again. 

Pulling away, Ciri allows a sly grin to slip out. “So Leon,” she remarks casually, turning to pick up the food prep from where Ewa left off. “What are your feelings toward Athanasi?” 

She watches as Leon minutely stiffens before busying himself with preparing the meat to cook. “I’m grateful for their friendship,” he murmurs, ducking his head. Ciri sighs. She had meant to broach this topic at the market but instead Leon wanted to jabber on about the schematics for his latest commission before thinking far too hard about what meals they should have this week. Good thing Ewa and Athanasi slipped out; gives Ciri more time to work Leon, if he won't just avoid the topic.

“Hmm, you seem to look at them with something slightly more than friendship,” Ciri remarks pointedly. 

Pausing what he’s doing, Leon grips the counter tightly and hunches his shoulders. “Their friendship is enough,” he says roughly. “Besides that, I’m their food source and their moral compass, nothing more.” 

Ciri recalls the necklace now dangling proudly over Athanasi’s clothing, the mixture of confusion and longing they constantly wear as they watch Leon work, and she raises a brow. “You’re a fucking idiot is what you are,” she states flatly. 

“They don’t even know what kindness is!” he bursts out, whirling towards Ciri and throwing his arms up. “I’m their first friend! I’m not gonna fuck that up for them or take advantage of them by telling Athanasi I’ve grown _feelings.”_ He spits out the word like it’s something dirty, before sighing and turning back to the meat. “Besides, I doubt they feel the same.” 

Humming, Ciri sets down her knife and moves to start a fire in the hearth. “I’m not so sure about that Leon. I’ve seen how they look at you.” Turning back to him, Ciri crosses her arms. “As for your other concerns, you’ve been teaching them what kindness is and they've clearly gotten to understand the concept, despite what Ewa says you _know_ she’s becoming their friend (as am I), and I don’t think you’re giving them enough credit.” 

Leon sinks to the ground, cradling his head with his hands. “I don’t wanna lose them over this,” he says hoarsely.

“Who says you’re going to?” she asks simply, settling beside Leon and pressing their shoulders together. “I just want you happy Leon,” she adds, nudging him gently. 

Lowering his hands Leon turns to look at her. “But I _am_ happy,” he responds, and Ciri can tell by his expression that he’s genuinely lost. Ciri frowns, pulling away to study him. Her mind scrambles as she struggles with how to reply. Everyone always talks about how getting into a romantic relationship is so fulfilling and can make you so much more happier and Ciri has certainly experienced that. She just assumed everyone would think and feel the same.

“What do you want Leon?” she asks in lieu of a proper reply.

Leon draws his legs up and wraps his arms around them. “I want to hold them and spend my day with them, get them to understand morality and maybe get a job and sometimes I-” now he cuts himself off, shrinking into himself. How can someone so tall look so small? Uncertain if her touch will be welcome, Ciri just grasps his shoulder and squeezes encouragingly. Drawing a shaky breath Leon says timidly, “Sometimes I imagine kissing them.” And if the way his voice just cracked and sounds so full of wonder is any indication, Ciri is now very much out of her depth. Fuck.

“Maybe they do too and they just don’t know that you feel the same, huh?” Ciri prompts softly.

Leon just shrugs. “Not worth the risk.” Sighing, realising that she’ll need another angle, Ciri stands before reaching down a hand. Grasping it, Leon unfolds his long limbs before hooking an arm around Ciri’s neck and ruffling her hair. “Thanks for the chat pipsqueak,” he grins, but Ciri can tell how fake it is. Smiling weakly, Ciri moves to start cooking. Hopefully Ewa is having more success than her.

When Athanasi and Ewa finally come back through the door as they finish making dinner, Leon is relieved to see no visible blood stains on either of them. But Athanasi’s troubled frown sends a trickle of worry through Leon. “Ciri and I are gonna go out. We’ll eat later,” Ewa says smoothly, tugging Ciri out the door while the witcher releases a confused “What?”

As the door firmly shuts behind them, Leon turns to Athanasi with an amused smirk. “Well that wasn’t suspicious at all,” he observes dryly. When Athanasi continues to look lost in thought and worried, Leon places his hands onto their shoulders. “You okay Nasi?” he asks. “Ewa may be my sister but if she said anything that upset you I don’t mind kicking her ass.”

Raising their eyes to look at him, Athanasi stares for a long time before licking their lips. “Ewa told me many interesting things. And then she told me she won’t be teaching me Elder because it’s not my heritage but she’ll teach me one phrase that I should say to you.” Stepping back, Leon looks at them expectedly. Taking a slow breath Athanasi stumbles out, _"Caen me a’baethe?"_

Leon’s breath catches and his heart skips a beat before he feels his blood run cold. Fuck. This takes sibling teasing to an entirely different level. “Athanasi, do you know what that phrase means?” Leon asks with forced calm. When Athanasi nods, biting their lip, Leon’s eyes widen. “And...you want that?” he prompts, voice strained.

Athanasi’s feet shuffle and they begin fiddling with the necklace Leon made them. He has to ignore how seeing that shitty glass around Athanasi's neck makes his heart beat faster. “I told Ewa that my heart keeps doing this thing that I thought meant I might be dying but she said it means that I’m in love instead and she says that you might love me too but that I shouldn’t find out by just kissing you without asking because of ‘consent’ which I told her you’ve been teaching me about,” they babble, their fidgeting growing more frantic as they speak.

Leon’s brain is working slow. Too slow. Fuck, how does he get it to move faster? Athanasi loves him? Okay, no, one thing at a time. Grasping their hand, Leon ducks his head to get Athanasi to meet his eyes. “Do you want to kiss me though?” he asks persistently. In all the times Athanasi has talked about their revulsion towards sex, they’ve never indicated whether kissing is included. At the timid nod, Leon releases a shaky breath. “Fuck Nasi, you’re _just_ learning what it's like to experience basic decency from others. You might just be getting confused because I’ve been kind to you. You don't need to pay me back for treating you the way you deserve.”

Nodding, Athanasi squeezes Leon’s hand. “Ewa said that you would be noble by saying that you can’t take advantage of me and my naivete and she wouldn’t explain what that word means but told me to tell you not to be dumb because she's seen how I look at you and that there’s a difference between love and gratitude.” Leon’s head is spinning. He didn’t think Ewa approved of his relationship with Athanasi and now he’s discovering that she _actively endorses it_ to be something more? What the fuck? Oh they are having _words_ later. “Leon? Did I break you?” Wide green eyes stare at him worriedly and fuck Leon wants to kiss that pout off their face.

Taking a slow breath, Leon takes a careful step back, ignoring Athanasi’s crestfallen expression as he creates distance between them. “Before I say anything else I want to state clearly that if you ever decide that you don’t wish for us to have another layer to our relationship I will never be angry at you and I will always be your friend. _I refuse to be another person who hurts you,"_ Leon states fiercely. It’s only when Athanasi nods, eyes burning with an emotion Leon can’t quite name, that he takes another shaky breath. “Right. Okay.” He stares determinately at Athanasi. “Then yes, Athanasi, I would very much like to kiss you if you are amenable.”

Leon is not expecting the sudden armful of succubus, nor the reality that Athanasi is an incredibly good kisser, but in retrospect neither of these things should’ve been surprising. Recovering quickly, Leon clumsily returns the kiss, realising that for once Athanasi may have something to teach Leon. Before he slips too far down that rabbit hole though, Leon finds himself getting lost in soft lips as he runs his fingers through Athanasi’s hair. Kissing Athanasi is nothing like the few kisses he had exchanged in the past. Those were always heated and demanding on the other person's end making Leon just want to retreat and run away. Not to mention, they inevitably would shove their tongue in his mouth and then Leon _would_ run away, too repulsed by the action to continue. But Athanasi kisses him like they have all the time in the world, like Leon is something precious, and never once introduces their tongue. Leon doesn't really know how to handle the emotions running rampant in his chest in the face of being kissed the way he always longed to be so he chooses to focus on learning the exact contour and taste of Athanasi's lips instead.

When they draw back after a few seconds, Leon presses their foreheads together, still reeling. "Hope you got a good feed from that," he says weakly, blinking when Athanasi pulls away with a frown. 

"Why would I feed from that?" they ask, something like hurt written on their face. 

Now it's Leon's turn to frown. "I just-" 

Before Leon can figure out himself what he possibly meant by that, Athanasi wraps their arms around themself and shrinks away. "I didn't want to kiss you to feed," they whimper. "I hardly need to feed from you anyway." 

Leon's world seems to tilt on its axis and he fumbles for a chair before falling into it. "But you've been following me so I could help you feed," he points out numbly. 

Sinking in the chair opposite, Athanasi keeps their gaze downturned. "At first, I guess, but after the first day I followed you because you were nice and funny and I liked the way you laughed and you were patient even when I messed up and taught me how to fight because you wanted me to be safe and-" they shrug, flicking their eyes up to look at Leon timidly. 

He thinks back to the countless hugs and touches Athanasi has initiated, all the nights they've spent curled in Leon's arms, the weeks lingering at his side. So all of that was just because they wanted to, not because they needed to? Which means...fuck. "Sorry Nasi, I-" he rubs the back of his neck. "I didn't realise." Then, before he loses his resolve Leon says timidly, "I love you _en’ca minne."_ And as Athanasi beams up at him Leon returns the smile, reaching across the table to squeeze their hand softly. The panic and uncertainty that has been whirling in the back of his head since Ciri brought up Athanasi earlier tonight starts to dissipate. Shit, he has two sisters to thank later apparently. For now, he's going to enjoy his now cold meal with the love of his life before spending the rest of the night memorising the taste and feel of Athanasi's lips. 

*******

This dark time Alloy decided to spend it with metal brother and one-who-smells-like-metal-brother. They are acting very weird though. They are not giving Alloy as many pets as they usually do which is very rude but that’s not the only thing. They also keep mushing their faces together like metal sister and one-who-smells-like-metal-sister do, though not for as long or as often which is a good thing because even two leggeds need to breathe. Alloy just hopes that they don’t start doing the kind of cuddling not meant for four leggeds because Alloy is very comfortable, even if she is not getting as many pets as usual. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Caen me a’baethe?_ Give me a kiss?
> 
>  _En’ca minne_ My love/darling
> 
> Though it's off screen, Ewa knows that Leon has indicated an interest in kissing people before and has asked Athanasi the same thing before she taught them that phrase and suggested they say it to Leon. Ewa is a good bro who knows that consent is sexy. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for continuing to read and comment :-)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athanasi arrives at Kaer Morhen. It could've gone worse?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continued comments and encouragement! 
> 
> Our newest member of the keep, Dagger, is introduced in "I Try to Open Up to What I Don't Know." If you would like to meet her before Athanasi does, feel free to check that story out before reading this chapter :-)

Leon paces back and forth as they set up their final campsite before making it to Kaer Morhen. “I don’t know, maybe this was a mistake,” he frets, knowing even as he speaks that it’s a foolish thing to say. Of course he’s bringing Nasi to the old keep, it wasn’t even a question. But though Leon wrote a note ahead of time, he’s still nervous about their reception. Maybe he should have been more specific in his letter. He just didn’t want to be barred from coming to Kaer Morhen if they knew what he was actually bringing. He thinks back to what he wrote, reciting it in his head:

_Dear various paranoid witchers and shifters,  
I’m bringing someone to the keep this year. Yes, I know what they are. No, they are not dangerous. Please consider not killing them on sight. I’d appreciate it.  
Yours,  
Leon_

That was clear enough, right? That he was bringing a non-human and they don’t need to worry about them? Fuck, he hopes so. 

Warm arms despite the winter chill wrap around Leon’s torso and he halts his pacing. “You are acting very nervous,” Nasi observes. 

Sighing, Leon turns in their arms and buries his face into their neck. “I just don’t want them to kill you on sight,” Leon says in a poor attempt of humour. 

A calloused hand claps him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry Leon, you know I’ve got your back,” Ciri reassures him. Releasing a shaky breath, Leon nods, taking in Athanasi’s honeysuckle scent to help ground him. 

“Besides, I know how to stab and punch people now!” Athanasi chirps. 

Drawing back Leon begs, “Please, for my sanity, don’t attack anyone at the keep unless it’s self-defense.” Athanasi frowns before nodding slowly. They’ve started to understand what self-defense actually means now, so Leon has given them back their knife. He just hopes he doesn’t end up regretting that.

Okay. They’re ready for this. Leon has prepped and quizzed Nasi about each of the members and what not to say and his two sisters have their backs. Everything is accounted for. It’s going to be fine.

*******

“PUPPY!” Athanasi squeals, racing towards a giant black and brown dog. Leon’s eyes widen in horror as it grows several sizes larger, spines replacing fur. What the fuck? Stepping in front of Jaskier and Kamil, it releases a bone-shaking growl. But Nasi keeps moving closer, undeterred. 

Throwing down his packs, Leon sprints and tackles Athanasi before they make it to the beast. “Are you _crazy?”_ Leon pants, staring down at Athanasi wildly from where he has them pinned. Of course. Of course an unknown variable had to be thrown into the mix. Leon was **so prepared.** Godsdammit.

Tilting their head with a hum Athanasi replies, “Well, you have said on several occasions that I am so-”

Shaking his head furiously Leon grips Athanasi’s face. “We do not go charging at a beast that could rip us apart!” he states firmly. 

Athanasi frowns. “But it was fluffy,” they point out helpfully. 

Leon groans, burying his face in the crook of Nasi’s neck. How have things already been derailed in the first minute of their arrival? “You can’t pet every fluffy thing you come across,” he grits out. 

“Perhaps, but Dagger is certainly someone who would gladly receive pets when she’s not startled.” 

Lifting his head, Leon meets Jaskier’s amused gaze with a frown. “Dagger?” he inquires dubiously. 

Jaskier nods to the giant beast still growling at a distance while Kamil presses calmly against it. “Lambert and Aiden’s pet. She’s actually quite sweet.” Leon blinks dumbly between Jaskier and the giant beast. Of course. Of course Lambert’s pet would be something that could tear someone in two. 

Rolling off of Athanasi with a sigh, Leon says firmly, “We approach slowly and wait for it to come to us.” Skipping to their feet, Nasi jumps up and down excitedly, green eyes glittering. 

“Care to introduce us?” Jaskier prompts, eyeing Nasi curiously. 

Grimacing, Leon gestures to Jaskier. “Athanasi, this is Jaskier. Jaskier, Athanasi.” 

Leon chuckles when Nasi glances at Jaskier dismissively before turning their eager gaze to Dagger who is eyeing them warily. “Can I pet the puppy _now?”_ Athanasi whines. At Jaskier’s amused nod, Leon leads Athanasi forward, his hand close to his dagger. 

He pauses and turns as a hand grasps his arm though. Jaskier shakes his head. “If you look like you’re reaching for a weapon her spines will sharpen.” Conflicted, Leon glances between the fearsome-looking beast and Jaskier’s calm demeanor. He takes a steady breath. If Jaskier trusts the creature then Leon will too, even if it makes his instincts scream in protest. 

“Aren’t you precious,” Athanasi croons, falling to their knees as they reach out a hand. Leon watches in shock as this intimidating creature pulls away with a whine as though scared. It’s only when Jaskier sits beside Nasi and puts a hand on their shoulder that it takes a tentative step forward before sniffing Athanasi curiously. Leon softens as he observes Athanasi’s awestruck expression. In their time together, Leon has discovered that Athanasi has a huge soft spot for animals. It’s quite endearing. 

“I don’t remember approving anyone new meeting Dagger,” Lambert snaps, storming over from where he had been clearly training, trailed by Geralt, Eskel, Aiden, and Coën. 

The witchers freeze as they get closer, their eyes flicking to their medallions before narrowing on Athanasi. “Jaskier and Leon, step away from that,” Geralt growls. 

Drawing Athanasi up, Leon wraps his arms protectively around them. “I know what they are and they’re harmless,” he states firmly, staring down the five mythical creatures. 

“It’s true, I can vouch for them,” Ciri confirms, coming up beside them. Leon relaxes slightly at Ciri’s endorsement. But the witchers only stare Athanasi down suspiciously. For once Athanasi remains silent as they press against him, thank Melitele. 

The stalemate breaks as Vesemir and Marya emerge from the keep. Stopping before Athanasi, Vesemir crosses his arms before raising a brow at Leon. “This what you meant in your letter?” he grunts. Nodding silently, Leon presses Athanasi closer. 

But he should’ve known their self-control would only last so long. “Your auras are all so _sad,”_ Athanasi whimpers, emerald eyes wide and mournful. That gives everyone pause, and all the witchers frown collectively. But then Athanasi perks up as they zero in on Eskel as he moves closer. “Oh you’ve slept with one of my brethren!” Athanasi exclaims, beaming up at Eskel. “You gave her quite a good feed I bet with that aura.” 

As everyone turns to stare incredulously at Eskel while Kamil shifts back with a curious sound he balks. “She was harmless!” he defends. Glancing at Kamil guiltily he adds, “And this was before I met you.” 

Lambert just starts guffawing. “Of course you slept with a bloody succubus Eskel. Do humans just not do it for you?” 

“No, there is nothing in his aura that indicates a sole preference to non-humans,” Nasi muses before their eyes brighten and they lean towards Lambert. “Oh but you have a _fun_ aura! And so compatible to yours,” they observe, grinning towards Aiden. 

Wincing, Leon pulls Athanasi back. “What have we said Nasi?” he grits out, shooting the witchers a pained smile. 

Athanasi turns curious eyes on him. “We’ve said many things because we’ve spent lots of time together,” they inform him cheerfully. 

“About auras,” Leon growls.

Athanasi’s eyes widen. “Oh,” they whisper, sagging. “Whoops.” Turning back to the group of witchers and shifters watching them with burning curiosity and suspicion Athanasi says solemnly, “I was told that it is rude to talk about people’s auras without permission. I am very sorry.” 

“What the fuck,” Lambert states dumbly. 

Whatever Athanasi was going to say gets cut off when Dagger nudges their leg curiously. Squealing, Nasi plops onto the ground and digs their hands in what looks like spines. Leon’s heart skips a beat and relaxes when Athanasi doesn’t cry out in pain though. Huh. “Oh you are just a sweetheart aren’t you,” they croon. 

Stomping over to them Lambert barks, “You hurt her I disembowel you.” 

Glancing up at him, Athanasi scoffs. "I’m sure you don’t mean that. Besides, Leon has told me that murder is bad," Athanasi states proudly, beaming up at him. Fuck. 

Several pairs of eyes turn to stare at them. "Is there a reason you didn't think that before you met Leon?" Eskel asks carefully, hand hovering over his sword. 

As Athanasi opens their mouth Leon clamps his hand over it with a strained laugh. "Oh Nasi, such a jokester! Don't worry guys, you'll get a hang of their humour soon!" he chatters before dragging the succubus away. 

"Well that wasn't suspicious at all," Lambert grumbles with a cross of his arms. 

"Everything is suspicious to you kitten," Aiden remarks with a smirk, but he watches Leon and the stranger scurry away with narrowed eyes.

*******

Okay. That could’ve been worse. It could’ve been better, but it could’ve been worse. Leon reminds himself of this as he and Athanasi unpack their bags and Athanasi continues to gush over Dagger and chatter about the various auras they saw. And now Leon knows far more about the witchers’ sexual preferences than he ever wanted to. Lambert, who knew? Fuck, how is he gonna be able to face them all with this new information in his head? Though, how he is going to get them to let down their guard enough to accept Athanasi may be the bigger question. 

Okay, if they just stay away from Athanasi’s strained relationship with morality, they should be alright. Before Leon can start reiterating what topics Athanasi needs to avoid however, Lambert barges into the room, Geralt following close behind. As they shut the door, Leon gulps, feeling quite like a caged animal. “What’s your angle?” Lambert grunts, leaning against the door with his arms crossed. 

Athanasi tilts their head from where they were putting away a blue dress, one of their favorites. “Friendship?” they suggest hopefully, and despite the somewhat dire situation they’ve found themselves in, Leon feels a smile tugging at his lips. 

Lambert’s eyes narrow, and he turns to Leon. “They feeding from you? Ensorcelled you?” 

Crossing his arms, Leon glares obstinately at the witchers. “What? You don’t trust Ciri’s word?” he challenges, watching with satisfaction as they both bristle. 

“She may be a witcher but she’s young,” Geralt rumbles, face infuriatingly blank. “You’ve brought a creature to our home. You can’t blame us for being cautious.” 

“Like you were with Kamil or Marya?” Leon challenges, hands clenched into fists. Even if he wasn’t there when they arrived he heard how quickly they were accepted in the fold. Is Athanasi that different? “I’ve known Athanasi for _months_ now and they have never indicated an intention to harm others,” he claims, hoping the rumor that witchers can smell a lie is false. 

Tugging on Leon’s sleeve Athanasi whispers, “But you said lying is bad Leon.”

He closes his eyes with defeat. Fuck. When will his morality lessons stop biting him in the ass? As he opens his eyes again, Geralt and Lambert have their hands on their swords, to his utter horror. 

Raising his hands and placing himself between them and Athanasi Leon begs, “Please, they were never taught right from wrong but have been learning. They haven’t killed in months and when they had it was humans you might as well classify as monsters.” Whirling to look at Athanasi wildly he begs, “Tell them _en’ca minne.”_

Popping their head around Leon’s arms Athanasi explains timidly, “I only killed people with blood red auras, like the ones who have given you the dark spots in your auras.” 

Geralt and Lambert’s eyes widen and they shuffle their feet, a hint of vulnerability flashing across their faces before it’s replaced with hardened expressions. “What the fuck does that mean?” Lambert snarls, drawing his weapon now. 

Despite Leon’s attempts to press Athanasi back, they slip around his arms and approach Lambert boldly, pressing a hand to his chest. “All of your auras made me sad because you all have so many shadows that indicate pain and grief from your past. I am sorry that you have been so hurt,” they say gently. 

Leon has no doubt that if Lambert wasn’t pressed against the door he would be scrambling back right now. “Who the fuck are you?” he rasps, eyes wide with barely concealed panic. 

Stepping back, Athanasi reaches out their hand. “My name is Athanasi, nice to meet you! What is your name?” 

Lambert flicks his gaze up at Leon uncomprehendingly but Leon just smirks. After a long moment Lambert returns the handshake, gruffly introducing himself. 

When Athanasi turns to Geralt, hand stretched out expectedly, the witcher crosses his arms. “What was this about blood red auras?” he rumbles. 

Athanasi’s smile falters, and they wrap their arms around themselves. “People with blood red auras hurt other people for fun and pleasure or just because they can. They like to target those who are vulnerable, innocent, weak.” Their eyes grow flinty as they squeeze themselves tighter. “I may be repulsed by sex but would gladly sleep with them if it meant ending their lives.” Stepping forward, Leon draws Athanasi to his chest, stroking their sides soothingly. 

Shaking his head, Geralt raises his hand. “Okay wait.” 

But before he can say what he wants to, Lambert barks out, “So, what? You gonna seduce us and suck _us_ dry too?” 

Athanasi turns their gaze to Lambert with a frown. “Why would I do that? You do not have any blood in your auras.” 

Leon bites down on another smirk as Geralt and Lambert gape at them. “But-” 

Moving forward, Athanasi hugs Lambert tightly as the witcher flails, sword still raised. “Did you know you can give hugs for comfort and just because?” they ask, burying their face in Lambert’s chest. “Hugs are one of my favorite things now and I am very excited to hug everyone here.” Lambert stares at Leon helplessly until, with a roll of his eyes, Leon mimes returning the hug. 

Hesitantly, Lambert wraps his arms around them, being careful of his sword, eyes widening as Athanasi hums happily and snuggles in closer. “You are a very good hugger,” they chirp.

Crossing his arms with satisfaction, Leon smirks knowingly at Geralt who is too busy staring at Athanasi like they are some kind of puzzle. “So-none of us have blood in our auras?” he rasps, golden eyes uncertain and vulnerable. 

Pulling away, and Leon’s grin grows as Lambert seems to hesitate letting them go, Athanasi turns to frown at Geralt for a long moment, head cocked. “Oh I see,” they nod knowingly. Striding toward Geralt, Athanasi presses a hand to Geralt’s heart. “Your aura glows yellow like the sun. Despite the shadows peppering it, you continue to shine bright and pure.” Athanasi looks up at Geralt with a kind smile, “You are a good man,” they say simply. 

Geralt releases what suspiciously sounds like a whimper as he steps back to press against the wall. “I have blood on my hands,” he croaks, and Leon is reminded of that ancient name he used to be called. Butcher. 

But Athanasi shakes their head emphatically. “No, you have been hurt by those who like to hurt others,” they state firmly. “You can’t blame yourself for your actions in response to the cruelty of others. Just like Leon-” as Athanasi turns they cut themselves off abruptly, eyes widening in panic, Leon's expression most likely matching theirs. Leon swore them to secrecy after telling his tale of the men he murdered, and his heart thumps wildly at how close his secret is to slipping out. “Just like Leon has said,” they finish quickly, turning to smile bravely at the two witchers. “He told me that you all may look and act very scary but you’re actually big softies who like to cuddle fluffy animals!” Leon's eyebrows raise to his hairline. Nice save. Turning pleading eyes to Lambert Athanasi begs, “Can I please pet Dagger some more? I just want to cuddle her all day!” 

Lambert stares dumbly at Athanasi for a long moment before muttering, “Yeah you-” Shaking his head he opens the door. “I gotta-” And Leon watches with bemusement as he flees, Geralt not too far behind him. Serves them right for trying to ambush them. Lambert and Geralt were certainly not expecting to face a foe who kills them with kindness. 

Turning to Leon nervously, Athanasi bites their lip. “Did I mess up?” they ask meekly, fiddling with their necklace. Drawing them into a hug, Leon gives them a brief kiss. “No _en’ca minne,_ I think you just gave them a bit of a shock.” Leon empathizes; he still remembers how painfully cathartic it was when Athanasi pardoned Leon’s crimes, reassured him that the murders he committed haven’t tainted his soul. For two witchers who have experienced gods knows what kind of horrors and pain, hearing that they don’t have blood in their souls must have been crippling. Hopefully this exchange will cause them to soften towards Athanasi and not grow more defensive. Fuck, if it were anyone but Geralt and Lambert Leon may feel a bit more reassured. Taking a slow breath, Leon kisses Athanasi’s cheek. “Shall we find something fluffy to pet?” he proposes. 

Athanasi brightens right up. “Yes please!” Grinning, Leon leads them out of the room, head held high as he prepares for the next inevitable confrontation of the day. 

Athanasi bites their lip as Leon leads them through the hall. Even though he says they didn’t mess up, Athanasi can’t help but worry that they did. Why else would Lambert and the other one Athanasi never learned the name of run away like that? Oh dear, Athanasi doesn’t want to mess things up for Leon. 

Before they reach the outside, Leon draws Athanasi to a secluded corner. “You didn’t do anything wrong, alright Nasi?” Leon soothes, rubbing his hands up and down their arms. Athanasi continues to worry their lip until Leon gently pulls it away from their teeth. “Okay Nasi?” he prompts again, amber eyes sparkling down on them. 

Instead of responding, Athanasi throws themself into a hug, melting as Leon returns it with a hum. “I don’t want them to get mad at you or hurt you,” they whimper. 

Pressing a kiss to their head Leon says amusedly, “They wouldn’t dare. They may be witchers but none of them wanna face Ewa’s ire.” Athanasi grins into Leon’s tunic. Athanasi loves Ewa but not like how they love Leon. They learned that there are many ways that you can love people. And they know that Ewa loves them even if she’s not willing to admit it. That’s alright because Ewa still teaches Athanasi to cook and to sew and she yelled at that person who tried to touch Athanasi without permission and the last time that she got drunk she hugged Athanasi very tight and mumbled that she was happy Leon has them. Ewa is a funny cuddly drunk. 

As Leon strokes Athanasi’s hair they release a shaky sigh. “I will do better until they all like me,” they proclaim firmly. 

Tilting Athanasi’s chin to look into his dancing amber eyes Leon teases, “I have no doubt that they will all be cuddling up to you by the end of the week.” 

Athanasi perks up. “Cuddles?” they ask hopefully. While they were climbing the mountains to Kaer Morhen Ewa, Ciri, Leon, and Athanasi slept close together to keep warm and it was Athanasi’s favorite part of the trip. If there is the possibility of more cuddles they will happily get threatened more. 

When they inform Leon of this however, he looks pained and presses their foreheads together. “If I have my way that will be the first and last time you are threatened this winter,” he says, voice sounding strained. Shrugging nonchalantly, Athanasi turns and makes their way outside. Now that they know they have the promise of cuddles, Athanasi is more determined than ever to get everyone here to like them. 

As they step outside Athanasi squeals at the sight of several fluffy things tussling over a ball. Running towards them, Athanasi plops to the ground and looks around the writhing bodies with excitement. “May I pet any of you?” they ask hopefully. Leon finally explained what he meant when he says that he spends winters with wolves so it seems like the polite thing to do, asking permission before petting shifters. Just like Leon has told Athanasi that people should ask permission before they touch them! 

A russet wolf and fox bound straight toward them and Athanasi buries their face and hands in their fur with a hum. “So soft!” they sigh, giggling when they are licked. 

Athanasi’s eyes widen and they pause their petting however when a woman with a very complicated aura comes storming across the courtyard, Lambert and the other witcher trailing behind. Gulping at flashing violet eyes and an aura filled with lightning and shadows that swirl around a bright red center, Athanasi shrinks into the fur they have been petting. “I have been asked to explore the mind of your little friend,” the lady informs Leon. 

Grasping Athanasi’s shoulder Leon growls, “Really guys?” Athanasi watches with interest as Lambert and the other witcher shuffle their feet awkwardly before they turn to look at the lady curiously. 

“May I help you?” they ask politely, petting the fur under their fingers to help calm their heart. 

“You’ve entered a keep full of paranoid oafs,” she drawls. “I’ve been asked to reach into your mind to ensure you mean us no harm.” 

Whimpering Athanasi presses back towards Leon, relaxing slightly when Leon sits so Athanasi is secure between his legs. “Will it hurt?” they ask meekly, biting their lip as the lady looks at them like they are a particularly interesting bug. 

“No.” 

“You don’t have to do this Nasi,” Leon protests, wrapping his arms around them and squeezing tight. 

Glancing between the balls of fur and witchers gathered around them, Athanasi takes a shaky breath. But they do have to, if this is what will get everyone to allow Athanasi to stay. Because if they can’t stay Leon will get sad and Athanasi doesn’t like it when Leon is sad. For Leon then they'll do it. “Okay,” they say, voice sounding quite small. “You can do it.” 

Athanasi gasps as a tendril of ice wiggles into their mind. _Hello_ they say tentatively. A brush of laughter seems to echo through their skull before the tendril flips through Athanasi’s memories briskly, from the auras they saw in all the witchers to the day they met Leon to their first victim and countless memories in between. 

Many memories that Athanasi would rather not be reminded of. Their failed test and exile, their years of starvation and stealing, and all the monsters they've slept with and killed. So many bloody auras. So many. 

When the tendril is finally removed, Athanasi is shuddering in Leon’s arms and sobbing quietly into a fur coat. “What the fuck did you do to them?” Leon hisses. 

Athanasi is too busy trying to piece themself back together to see what the woman looks like when she responds. “I-” Athanasi hears a rustle of silk and peers up despite themselves, staring into contrite violet eyes. As she reaches a hand out however Athanasi shrinks away, pressing fearfully into Leon’s chest. “I’m sorry little one,” she murmurs after a long silence. “You shouldn’t have had to go through all of that just to survive.” 

Turning their face into Leon’s chest, years of pain and revulsion and isolation and hopelessness searing through their mind and heart, Athanasi can’t do anything but cry. They can tell that Leon is speaking by the vibrations in his chest but Athanasi is deaf to it, too lost in memories they would rather forget. They don’t know how long they are numb to everything going on around them but soon Athanasi registers Leon’s fingers stroking through their hair, something soft pressing against their side, and the weight of their necklace against their chest. It’s this last one that helps bring Athanasi back to the present. They no longer carry that opal pendant they stole from one of their victims but rather an imperfect piece of glass made by someone who cares about them. It is a symbol of their new life filled with laughter and joy and fluffy things and hugs and someone who loves them. 

Drawing in several shaky breaths, Athanasi shifts so they are burrowed in Leon’s neck and have better access to his grounding scent of fire and mint. “You can feed if you want, if that’ll make you feel better,” Leon murmurs. Athanasi hesitates for a moment, eyes squeezed shut. Since they’ve added a new dynamic to their relationship Athanasi and Leon have agreed that they’ll tell Leon when they are feeding so Leon doesn’t have to question whether Athanasi is touching him because they want to or need to. Athanasi likes hugs and usually regular hugs are enough to make them happy but right now they feel so _hollow_ and cold. Nodding against Leon’s neck Athanasi presses closer and draws Leon’s depthless well of energy into them, shuddering as they do. Completely unintentionally, Athanasi begins feeding from whatever fluffy thing is pressed against them as well. 

Shooting their eyes open as they realise what they're doing, Athanasi breaks the connection and shrinks away from the fluffy body with a whine. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to feed from you!” they whimper. 

The wolf sitting beside them blinks before shifting. Catching a tunic thrown his way, the wolf that Athanasi now realises is Jaskier cocks his head. “How were you feeding on me? I didn’t feel anything and I thought succubi fed from sex?” 

“Athanasi is special. They only feed on physical affection and the source is never left depleted,” Leon states with forced calm, squeezing Athanasi tightly. Despite how cold they still are, Athanasi feels a trickle of warmth at being called special. “Now if you all are done interrogating and hurting my lover, I think we will take our leave for the night,” Leon snarls, scooping Athanasi up and stalking away. Athanasi tucks their face into Leon’s neck and allows themselves to be carried, feeling secure and grounded with the press of Leon’s chest and arms around them. They’ve never been held before. It’s nice.

Placing them gently on the bed when they make it to their room, Leon starts a fire in the hearth before gently removing Athanasi’s boots and overcoat. A moment later Leon crawls into bed, covering Athanasi from head to toe and burying his face in their neck. “I’m so sorry Nasi, I had no idea they would do that,” he rasps, trembling slightly. Athanasi breathes slowly, allowing the heavy press of Leon’s body to help chase away the spectres of their past. 

Once they feel calmer and feed a bit more with Leon's okay, Athanasi shifts them so they’re both on their sides and face to face, before tracing a finger along Leon’s furrowed brow. “They all have so many shadows in their aura, it is no surprise they don’t trust a creature they often must hunt,” Athanasi murmurs, averting their gaze. “Especially if that creature tells them they are good people,” they add with a bitter smile. 

Leon presses their foreheads together with a sigh. “I really thought they would trust Ciri though.” 

As if speaking her name summons her, Ciri stalks into their room, clutching Alloy to her chest. “I can’t _believe_ what they just pulled,” Ciri fumes, climbing onto the bed angrily so she can press against Athanasi. “That was a _violation_ and _uncalled_ for and it makes me _so bloody angry!”_

Athanasi’s eyes widen as they turn to Ciri, and their chest goes tight. They are still not very used to people being mad and defensive on their behalf. “But they are your family,” Athanasi points out with uncertainty. 

Blowing a strand of hair out of her face, Ciri reaches down to squeeze Athanasi’s hand. “Leon is my family too and you are my friend,” she says firmly, and now Athanasi’s chest is getting all warm too, and it’s not because they just fed. "Gods I'm so mad I couldn't even appreciate Lambert's cute fucking puppy that I wanna cuddle the living shit out of," she moans, wiggling until she's curled up into Athanasi's side. Before Athanasi can apologise, Ewa saunters through the open door, slipping onto the opposite side of the bed. 

“If it makes you feel better, Jaskier was last seen lecturing Lambert, Geralt, and Yennefer and they all looked like kicked pups,” Ewa says wryly. “I’m a bit irked that he stole my thunder but, eh, he’s got seniority.” 

Now Athanasi turns so they can gaze at Ewa, a mess of emotions raging inside their chest. “Leon said that they wouldn’t want to face your ire,” they whisper, snuggling their head onto Leon's shoulder.

Smirking Ewa quips, “As true as that is, I’m not a bard who can write incredibly unflattering songs about you.” 

Snorting, Leon turns to grin at Ewa. “Oh please tell me-” he starts before Ewa nods happily.

“I left him when he was at a stanza describing in detail how horrible they all are in bed,” she snickers, and now Leon, Ewa, and Ciri laugh as Alloy climbs onto Athanasi’s chest with a purr. But Athanasi just frowns. 

“I don’t want everyone mad and sad because of me though,” they whimper, digging nervous fingers into Alloy’s fur. Oh dear they’re ruining everything.

“Our pack can sometimes be bullheaded,” Ciri sighs, stroking her fingers through Athanasi’s hair, causing them to relax slightly. “Every now and then they need to be reminded that we all have emotions and it's okay to trust each other's word.” Though Athanasi still feels oddly guilty, they nod and burrow into the pile of warm bodies surrounding them. Maybe they can stay here with Ewa and Ciri and Leon and Alloy all winter. Athanasi doesn’t think they would mind that at all. 

Time passes languidly as Athanasi pets Alloy and soaks up the surrounding warmth while Ciri tells tales of her latest travels. She pauses however at a tentative knock on the door. Eyes narrowing, Ewa rises before cracking it open, faltering when she finds Jaskier standing there, a mixture of determination and uncertainty warring on his face. “I came to apologise on behalf of my boorish packmates and to formally request I stay with you all for the evening because I would like to give them a night to reflect on what they did,” he states stiffly. Ewa turns to raise a brow at where Athanasi is still buried under a pile of limbs. When they give a timid nod, Ewa opens the door wider and allows Jaskier to drift in. 

Somber blue eyes look at Athanasi as Jaskier lingers by the bed. “I am truly sorry you were violated in such a way my dear,” Jaskier says fretfully, fingers fidgeting with a pretty bracelet with flowers carved into it. 

“Thank you,” Athanasi says softly, before hesitating. “I do not know if there is enough room on this bed for you though,” they add with a bite of their lip. 

“Plenty of room by the hearth,” Leon offers, gesturing towards it. Turning to study the comfy looking rug, Athanasi clambers over Ciri to get to it, heedless of her indignant squawking. When Jaskier shifts and plods over to them, Athanasi perks up, itching to pet more soft fur. Releasing a low rumble, Jaskier settles in Athanasi’s lap to their delight as Leon, Ciri, and Ewa find places beside and behind them. As they look around and feel surrounded on all sides, Athanasi's heart feels full, and they know that’s not a bad thing to feel. 

They have a family. Athanasi didn’t think they would ever have a family. Yet they can’t help but think about the rest of the members of the keep still downstairs. What would it be like to be surrounded by all those colourful and bright auras, telling them all that Athanasi can see that they are good? 

Well, Athanasi can dream. 

*******

Alloy is not very happy. It is her first dark time in the tall cold place but metal brother and metal sister and one who-smells-like-metal-brother and one who-smells-like-metal-sister and loud one all came to a small litter instead of their big litter and none of Alloy’s other littermates are here which makes Alloy sad. But one who-smells-like-metal-brother isn’t showing the human sign of happiness and is petting Alloy and loud one lots and Alloy can’t get through the wooden thing so Alloy supposes she can spend the dark time here. But next dark time they are going to the big litter, even if Alloy has to drag her unruly littermates down there herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think having Lambert and Geralt assume that the creature who just told them that they are pure and good actually has malicious intentions may be the most in character thing I’ve ever written for these two disasters. 
> 
> On another note given work and personal commitments, it may be another few days before I can update. Believe me, I would rather be writing this. 
> 
> _En’ca minne_ my love/darling


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For once it’s Aiden’s turn to express his crippling sense of self-loathing. So begins the saga of Athanasi, the healing hugger. Later, Leon learns to his bemused horror that yes, succubi can get drunk.

Athanasi hardly slept, kept awake with flashes of all their victims over the years. Not even cuddling soft things and Leon could keep the images away. Now Leon is watching them with growing concern while Athanasi is trying to find the courage to enter the dining hall. Leon suggested that they stay in their room for the day but Athanasi is afraid that if they let themselves hide away today they’ll never want to come out again. 

But this is Leon’s and Ewa’s and Ciri’s and Jaskier’s family. And they are nice people. If they are nice people then the rest of the keep’s residents will be nice too. Athanasi knows this as a fact actually because they’ve seen each of their auras. And given the shadows of pain in their auras, Athanasi isn’t surprised that Geralt, Lambert, and Yennefer hurt them. (Jaskier told them all their names.) But when Athanasi mentioned this Jaskier said that just because you’re hurt doesn’t give you the right to hurt others. Leon looked really sad when Jaskier said this but Ewa and Ciri gave him tight hugs so Athanasi hopes that he’s alright.

And now Jaskier, Ewa, and Ciri are surrounding them as they face the dining hall door while Athanasi clings to Leon’s arm so they should feel comforted and confident. They should just be walking through the doors.

But Athanasi is experiencing something curious. 

“I know that you all are around me to help me and I know that they aren’t bad people but I still feel nervous,” Athanasi says with a frown. 

“It’s natural to be nervous before facing people who hurt you,” Jaskier murmurs, clasping Athanasi’s shoulder tightly. “It’s a brave thing to do, giving people a chance to ask for forgiveness.” Athanasi likes Jaskier. He seems very wise. 

“How do I make the feeling go away?” they ask, turning to Jaskier beseechingly. 

The shifter gives Athanasi a sad smile. “By facing what you fear,” he explains simply. Oh. Facing the door again, Athanasi nods firmly before pushing it open. As their procession enters, the chatter spread across the hall cuts off and several heads turn to them. Athanasi shrinks under the stares, pressing themself against Leon’s side as the blacksmith strokes their hair and whispers encouragement. Athanasi really loves Leon. 

Athanasi’s eyes land on Yennefer, Lambert, and Geralt, who are scattered across the room and avert their gazes. They look like Athanasi; ragged as though they hadn’t gotten enough sleep. Athanasi gulps as a man with long white hair like Geralt and a woman with chestnut hair like Jaskier strides over to them. “My name is Vesemir and I am the head of the keep,” the man rumbles with a nod. “On behalf of Kaer Morhen, I wish to apologise for your treatment yesterday. Our pups acted without thinking and caused you pain we did not wish to subject you to.” Once Vesemir stops speaking Athanasi simply stares at the man with wide eyes, both hands clutching Leon’s arm. His aura is filled with shadows yet swirls with a vibrant blue reflecting his urge to protect and provide security to those around him. And like every member of the keep, his center glows with a gentle red tinge of love. Glancing between him and the woman, Athanasi smiles to themself. Their auras are wrapped around each other, tendrils of colour tangled together. It’s always so beautiful to see a compatible pairing. 

With a start Athanasi realises that they have been staring. Recalling what Vesemir says, Athanasi frowns. “But you didn’t do anything wrong. Why do you need to apologise?” they ask timidly. 

Vesemir cracks a small smile and Athanasi relaxes as the kindness they know he possesses sparkles in his eyes. “I am their mentor and trainer so I will always feel slightly responsible for their foolish mistakes,” he explains. 

Athanasi scrunches up their face with confusion. Why would someone want to take the blame for something they didn’t do? Deciding this is a question they can ask Leon later, Athanasi smiles politely at Vesemir. “It is nice to meet you,” they say softly, biting their lip to keep from feeding when Vesemir clasps their shoulder firmly. 

“I am Marya. I apologise that your introduction to our pack was less than ideal,” the woman whose aura compliments Vesemir says. “Lambert, Geralt, and Yennefer’s Biscuit Privileges have been revoked for the immediate future if that’s any consolation,” she remarks, this final comment directed towards Leon. Leon grins with satisfaction but Athanasi only grows more confused. 

“What are biscuit privileges?” Athanasi asks, voice still far too small and shy. 

Turning a kind smile to them Marya explains, “My biscuits are in high demand. When one of my pups does something foolish, they lose the right to eat them.” 

A spark of excitement rushes through them and Athanasi starts to bounce lightly on their toes. “May I try some?” they ask hopefully.

Marya frowns, cocking her head. “Excuse my ignorance but I thought you have alternate ways to feed,” she responds, glancing over to Leon for clarification. 

Wrapping an arm around Athanasi’s shoulders Leon grins down at them. “Nasi has a bit of a sweet tooth,” he explains, and Athanasi can’t help beaming up at him. Ever since Leon introduced them to honey cakes Athanasi has tried many more desserts. They had no idea so many yummy things existed! 

“In that case, would you like to see what Coën and I are baking?” Marya asks with a smile, nodding towards a man who looks like a giant but who is watching with a kind expression. And what an interesting aura...

Athanasi looks up at Leon with a question in their eyes, bouncing more when Leon gives an encouraging nod. “You’re in good hands with Marya and Coën,” he says with a reassuring squeeze. Grinning, Athanasi follows Marya’s lead into the kitchen. They can’t wait to see what yummy food they make!

As Athanasi slips out of his grasp to follow Marya, Leon feels his smile slide away, turning to pierce Lambert, Geralt, and Yennefer with a venomous glare. “Try to limit the bloodshed if you don’t mind,” Vesemir remarks dryly. 

Some of Leon’s ire melts to be replaced with uncertainty. “You seem surprisingly okay with having a succubus in your home, especially compared to the other reactions we’ve received,” Leon observes with trepidation. Perhaps Vesemir is just biding his time? 

Sighing, the witcher shoves his hands in his pockets, looking out into the distance. “I’ve lived long enough to know good from evil when I spot it. My pups do too, but they let their uncertainties and self-loathing get in the way.” Smiling ruefully, Vesemir shrugs. “Besides, you’re part of our pack, and we must trust each other. So, you say they’re harmless, I trust you.” 

Leon gapes at Vesemir, gratitude washing over him like a tidal wave. Considering his initial introduction to the members of Kaer Morhen, Leon has always felt like he was on the outskirts of the pack, an outsider. Sure there was Ewa and Ciri and Eskel and Kamil, but other than those four, Leon hasn’t quite known where he belongs, and if he does at all. Hearing the patriarch of Kaer Morhen accept him so easilyー

Before he knows what he’s doing Leon is pulling Vesemir into a tight hug. The witcher startles for a moment before returning it with a hearty thump on Leon’s back. “You have a good heart pup, and despite their mistakes, they do too,” he rumbles in his ear. 

Sighing, Leon presses his forehead against Vesemir’s shoulder, trying his best not to be transported back in time to when his own father held him like this. “What they did was wrong,” he states bluntly.

“Aye, but when you’re damaged, sometimes you spread your damage to others, intentionally or not.” 

Growling, Leon clenches his fingers into Vesemir’s rough tunic. “Stop saying wise shit. I wanna be mad at them,” he whines, trying to disguise how close to home Vesemir’s words hit and how much of an echo they are to Jaskier’s comment earlier. Because that’s what happened between him and Ciri, wasn’t it? Shit, now he feels like a hypocrite. 

Vesemir’s chuckle rumbles through his chest and Leon bites his cheek to remain in the present. When his da laughed it would vibrate into Leon’s very bones and spread warmth throughout his body. Leon squeezes his eyes tightly to resist being thrown back to the past when things were simpler, when his parents were still alive. 

Drawing him back, Vesemir cuffs Leon under the chin lightly. “Be mad all you want, but I don’t know if you can make them any more miserable than everyone else made them last night.” When Leon opens his eyes and cocks his head inquisitively, not trusting his voice at the moment, Vesemir’s grey eyes sparkle with mischief. “We discovered that Kamil has quite some fire in that tiny frame when he wants to. Between Kamil’s rants, losing Biscuit Privileges, and Jaskier choosing to sleep somewhere else, I’d say they’ve been punished quite a bit already.” 

Leon studies the trio over Vesemir’s shoulder to where they now sit huddled together, picking aimlessly at their breakfast. The fury that has been building since last eve starts to simmer to a manageable flame. “I’m still gonna give them a piece of my mind,” he grumbles, clinging onto his anger stubbornly. They hurt his love and Leon won’t forgive that easily. 

Vesemir smiles gently at Leon, and he needs to swallow past the lump in his throat. “I don’t doubt it. But do me a favor and eat some breakfast first. You need some meat on those bones.” Fuck. Leon hasn’t had an elder express concern for his wellbeing sinceー

Leon pinches himself to combat the familiar spectre of grief that haunts him. Smiling weakly at Vesemir’s concern for him, Leon nods and strides purposely further into the dining hall, straightening his back and breathing slowly in an attempt to banish the shadows of grief. He needs to be strong for Athanasi. Resolve hardening, Leon serves himself some porridge before settling across from his three targets. 

At his arrival, Leon finds himself pierced with three pairs of eyes, all at varying levels of uncertainty and regret. “Well?” he demands, shoveling a spoonful of porridge in his mouth aggressively. Yes, anger is far easier to manage than grief. With growing relief, Leon allows his fury to build into a roaring flame once again. 

Crossing her arms Yennefer claims airily, “I was just following the orders of these two oafs who ran into my room crying in alarm, claiming that we had a monster in our midst.” Ignoring Geralt’s betrayed glare and Leon’s snarl, Yennefer looks away and taps her nails on the table rapidly. “But I didn’t expect to cause them pain,” she adds awkwardly. 

“You promised them it wouldn’t hurt,” Leon accuses, gripping his spoon tightly. “What did you do to them?” He forces himself to breathe so he doesn’t launch across the table at how blasé Yennefer is acting. 

Curious violet eyes turn to him. “They didn’t tell you?” She inquires. Yes, Leon has more or less pieced it together but he wants to hear it from her. 

“They barely spoke all night,” Leon spits harshly. “Wouldn’t stop shaking and hardly slept, kept waking from nightmares.” Yennefer flinches as though slapped, and her mask of indifference slips away to be replaced with remorse. Good. It’s not a look he’s familiar with in her, not even after their less than ideal first meeting, but now it's well deserved.

“When I said it wouldn’t hurt I meant physically. When I flipped through their memories to see if they had been telling the truth I didn’t expect to bring to the surfaceー“ she hesitates, straightening before turning to Lambert and Geralt. “What they said about blood red auras? They were telling the truth. The only people they’ve ever killed were the lowest form of human," she informs them stiffly. Some remaining worry that Leon hadn’t even noticed he still held relaxes at the confirmation of what he wanted to believe. Yennefer shakes her head. “To deliberately expose yourself to that level of filth and engage in an act thatー“ she cuts herself off again, turning to Leon with wide, lost eyes.

“Yesterday. They said they were repulsed by sex. I thought that was another lie they spouted to get us to lower our guard,” Geralt murmurs, looking up at Leon curiously. 

Leon feels himself tremble, the true reality of what Athanasi was forced to do hitting him once again. “Imagine sticking your prick in dog shit, or being fucked by a branding iron. Forcing yourself to do something that physically nauseates you or causes you pain just to survive,” Leon growls, feeling his voice rising as that flame spreads within him. “And then _starving_ yourself just to delay the inevitable,” he snarls. “Athanasi has found an alternate way of feeding through physical affection that doesn’t affect the source at all.” That flame roars as Leon jumps to his feet. “They came here in peace, only asking for _hugs_ and instead you forced them to relive their every traumatic memory?!” he bellows, trembling with fury. 

All three of them look down again and that’s not what Leon wants; he wants a fucking _apology._ He wants Athanasi to never have had to force themselves into an act that went against their very being in the first place. He wants this whole 24 hours to start over. But there’s only one of those things he can realistically get. Before he can demand acts of groveling though, soft hands touch Leon's arm and guide him into a familiar chest. And all at once, the flame is snuffed out, and Leon sags. Allowing Athanasi to hold him up Leon mumbles, “How much did you hear?”

“Enough to know you need a hug,” Athanasi says firmly, stroking a hand down Leon's back. 

Chuckling lightly Leon hums, “I can never say no to a hug from you.” 

“But what aboutー“ 

“For the last time I was in the _middle_ of heating up some iron which is not conducive to hugging!” Leon says with a choked laugh, pulling back to grin softly at Athanasi. His eyes widen when he sees Nasi's self-satisfied smirk. “You brought that up on purpose,” he accuses, utterly delighted and feeling the weight of righteous anger lifting at the sight of a spark of light back in Nasi’s eyes.

Athanasi preens, bouncing on their toes. “Ewa has been teaching me how to tease you!” they chirp proudly. 

“Like you need to be any more of a menace,” Leon huffs, flicking Athanasi’s ear lightly. Batting his hand away, Athanasi pulls Leon into another tight hug and Leon closes his eyes, returning it fiercely. Fuck, he was so close to exploding but one touch from Nasi and Leon feels grounded once again. He can’t help but feel that the roles are reversed though; he should be the one comforting Athanasi, not the other way around. 

Still, Leon can’t stop a low whine from slipping out when Nasi pulls away too soon, relaxing when it’s only far enough for the succubus to turn their head and look at the trio watching them. Keeping their arms wrapped around Leon, Athanasi bites their lip. “Leon has been teaching me that I deserve to be treated with common decency and he has been explaining what that means,” Athanasi states with only a slight tremble in their voice and frame. Shrinking slightly into Leon they whisper, “I do not feel like I was treated with decency yesterday.” 

Fuck, Leon is so proud he worries he’ll cry. He’s spent hours teaching Athanasi about what they deserve, determined that they no longer face the inhuman treatment they used to accept without a blink. For so long Athanasi couldn’t wrap their head around it, couldn’t understand why it was important for others to treat them with kindness and decency. But as they grew closer to Leon and Ewa, Athanasi’s eyes began to open. Leon never imagined he would be able to witness Athanasi so bravely stand up for themself though, and he’s fit to burst with elation. 

Taking a shaky breath, Leon kisses Athanasi’s cheek before breathing, “So proud of you _en’ca minne”_ into their ear, squeezing them tightly.

“We know more than most how it feels to be treated more like a monster than a person,” Geralt rumbles, eyes fixed on the cracked table. “Apologies. But I have learned that honeyed words that speak of things too good to be true are not to be trusted.” Leon feels a surge of sympathy amidst his still simmering anger. Of course hearing someone say that you are innately good would be something Geralt and Lambert would view as lies. Poor bastards.

All eyes turn to the last guilty party, but Lambert just glowers at the table like it personally offended him. Leon sighs. It was too much to expect apologies from both witchers he supposes. 

Gliding up to the group from where he had been listening nearby, Aiden claps a hand on Lambert’s shoulder. “A creature that we ordinarily hunt and that is known for ensorcelling their targets strolled through the one place we call home, admitted that they’ve killed, and then said exactly what someone who wanted to lower Geralt and Lambert’s guard would say. I’m not saying they went about it in the correct fashion, but are you truly surprised that they asked Yennefer to look into their mind?” He asks with a raised brow. 

Leon falters, finding more of his anger fading to be replaced with uncertainty this time. “I know you don’t trust me but I thought you would at least trust Ciri and hear us out,” he mumbles, tightening his grip around Athanasi’s torso. It hurt, having his and Ciri’s word so blatantly ignored and brushed aside. He knows that was where some of his anger had come from too. 

“We do trust you,” Geralt grunts, causing Leon to look back up with shock. “We just don’t trust magic, and succubi are notorious for ensorcelling their victims without them even knowing.” They trust him too? Even though he threatened the life of Geralt’s daughter, first came to the keep in a rage? The lingering tension he has felt since first entering the keep dissipates. Perhaps he can belong here after all.

Shaking his head, Leon refocuses on the rest of Geralt’s words. “Ciri checked for ensorcellment you know,” Leon offers as an olive branch. “You trained her well.” And if they had just trusted that she was smart enough to check for that, none of this would’ve happened. By the way Geralt and Lambert brighten slightly, Leon knows he said the right thing, even if he wants to point out more of their folly. He blows out a breath. Fuck, Leon can’t stay angry at them, even if he wants to. They truly do look like kicked puppies. 

Standing up fluidly, Yennefer places her hands onto the table. “My apologies little flower. I admit I wasn't thinking clearly when I entered your mind. I meant only to protect my family, not to harm someone already so hurt,” she concedes with a slight bow of her head. "How can we make it up to you?" 

Leon grunts, pleased that Yennefer gave a proper apology this time. Silence stretches across the table like a gaping chasm as Athanasi fiddles with their pendant thoughtfully. 

Finally they whisper, “Leon, Ewa, Ciri, and Alloy are the closest things I have to family. If I was afraid someone was trying to hurt them I would hurt that person as well.” Leon’s heart does several complicated acrobatic moves to hear that Athanasi views them as family. Fuck, he loves this creature so much. 

Painted lips quirk into a smile. “Feral little flower aren’t you?” Yennefer remarks with vague amusement. 

“You should see them handle a knife,” Leon says wryly, before pausing and assessing the people before him, an idea niggling in the back of his mind. All three of them still look like kicked pups, even if Lambert is a slightly angrier pup than the other two. But the silence coming from the usually shamelessly verbose and sarcastic man speaks volumes by itself. 

Leon knows that what they did wasn’t intentionally malicious, even if it was cruel. What they all need is a clean slate. And Leon has an inkling on how to create one.

Before going through with his idea however, Leon tugs Athanasi aside, wanting to check that this is something they want. He wouldn’t blame them if Athanasi chooses not to try befriending the trio. It would make winter awkward but Leon would do anything for Nasi. After Leon explains his idea though, Athanasi bites their lip and nods eagerly. Relaxing slightly, Leon guides them back to the table. “Alright. If you wanna make it up to them, Athanasi really likes animals and knives. Geralt, you can introduce them to Biscuit and Lambertー“ Leon takes a breath as the witcher in question looks up with trepidation. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but maybe show them your knife collection?” Lambert’s ensuing gleeful grin tells Leon that he will dearly regret that suggestion. Glancing at Yennefer, Leon tilts his head with a hum. “They really like dresses. Perhaps you can show Athanasi some of yours?” 

“And your lip paint?” the succubus pipes up hopefully. 

Yennefer’s smile is softer than he's ever seen before. “It would be my pleasure little flower,” she murmurs. 

Nodding firmly, Leon turns to Athanansi. “Who do you want to spend time with first?” 

Lambert doesn’t feel guilt. It’s a waste of an emotion; Lambert says and does what he wants and if people get butt-hurt about it that’s their problem. Exceptー he stares at the still cowering succubus as they cling onto Leon like he’s the only thing holding them together. Okay, so maybe he and Geralt acted _slightly_ rashly yesterday but can you blame them? Even after processing it all Lambert is struggling, and Lambert actually _tried_ to process it. Last night he laid curled between Aiden and Dagger as he stroked through soft fur, Dagger relaxed since it was just the three of them in Lambert’s barely used room. Lambert doesn’t talk about emotions. It’s a waste of time. Exceptーas he was stroking through fur and hearing Dagger’s happy rumbles and listening to Aiden’s steady heartbeat while the Cat carded fingers through his hairー _maybe_ some words tumbled out. 

“They said I had no blood in my aura and then they _hugged_ me,” Lambert choked out. 

“And this caused you to fly into a panic because?...” 

Growling, Lambert buried his face in Dagger’s fur. “I’m not _good,”_ he snarled. “I’ve done terrible things that should’ve tainted my soul. I still think they’re bullshitting me.” 

A steady hand grasped Lambert by the back of the neck and the Wolf slumped like his strings had been cut, breathing shakily into the grounding touch. “Despite my general distaste of mages, I trust what Yennefer said. Besides, it was that heart you hide beneath barbed words and sarcasm that drew me to you in the first place,” Aiden remarked softly. 

Lambert’s eyes widened and he shifted to stare blankly at Aiden. The Cat simply smiled at him ruefully, tangling his fingers through Lambert’s hair again. “My soul is as black as it gets. The light that shone from you was like a siren’s call and I knew the moment I set eyes on you I wouldn't be able to walk away.” Lambert gulped, unused to these types of conversations. Fucking _emotions._ Ordinarily, he would be sprinting to his favourite part of the ramparts already, but it’s hard to run away when you have your fingers buried in soft fur as a creature who inexplicably trusts you rumbles against your leg contentedly. 

“Just look at Dagger,” Aiden remarks as though reading his mind, scratching behind her ears with a grin. (Lambert was relieved when Dagger had warmed up to Aiden. The night she crept up to him before butting her head against his chest and timidly curling up next to Aiden may have been the highlight of Lambert’s year.) Smiling softly at their girl Aiden shrugged. “You could’ve killed her without a second thought, got the reward and never thought of her again. Instead you tended to her wounds despite the harm she inflicted on you and have made her feel safe and loved.” Amber eyes burned into Lambert’s and he found he couldn’t look away. “You are a good man Lambert, the succubus was telling the truth. I just hope one day you can believe it.” 

Dragging himself back to the present, Lambert takes a steady breath. He still can't accept what the succubus said but he can at least make up for hurting them. He draws out a dagger, grimacing when Athanasi flinches. Flipping it so the hilt faces the succubus, Lambert says gruffly, “Let’s see what you’ve got.” 

A minute later Lambert is cursing as Yennefer tends to his stab wound and Athanasi continues to apologise profusely, hovering over where Lambert is sprawled on the floor. Meanwhile Geralt is holding onto Aiden so the snarling Cat doesn’t launch himself at the succubus. “I should’ve mentioned. Athanasi needs explicit directions,” Leon says, wincing. 

“Don’t pretend that you’re not feeling vindicated right now you asshole,” Lambert grits out as Yennefer seals up his wound. 

He glares up at Leon as the blacksmith finally allows a smug grin to show, which only makes Aiden snarl more. “Down kitty,” Yennefer drawls with a roll of her eyes. “Your precious Wolf is fine.” Rising and brushing off her emerald gown, Yennefer places her hands on her hips and looks at Athanasi sternly. “No more stabbing people, alright?” she says firmly. 

Athanasi meekly raises their hand. “But what if I need to do self-defense? Leon says that stabbing can be okay then.” 

Accepting Eskel’s hand and rising with a grimace, Lambert stares incredulously at Leon who is looking sheepish yet defensive. He wouldn't want that impulsive creature anywhere near a weapon. “I met them when they had a knife to their throat. You can’t blame me for wanting to teach them how to defend themselves,” he protests. 

Lambert turns to study the succubus’ plump, open face. Yeah, they would make an easy target, wouldn’t they? “Seems like they’ve survived this long without knowing how to stab people,” Lambert grumbles stubbornly, crossing his arms. 

“I am a fast runner,” Athanasi says proudly, causing Leon to shake his head and scrub his face tiredly. 

Lambert blows out a breath as he thinks. This world is full of shitheads. He can’t blame Leon for wanting to teach his feral friend how to fight. Picking up the bloody knife and wiping it on his tunic, Lambert nods towards the door. “Let’s go to the training ground. And this time, try not to stab anyone?” Nodding eagerly, Athanasi flounces towards the end of the dining hall and Lambert just shakes his head. How can such a perky little thing be so savage? He takes a moment to recall how Kamil is with his bow and how Jaskier is with his sword and fangs. Hm. Come to think about it, this creature may fit in quite nicely at Kaer Morhen. 

Leon stares with dawning horror as Lambert begins to teach Athanasi how to juggle knives, both of them quickly growing bored of footwork practice. “This was a terrible idea,” Leon says faintly as Athanasi fumbles a knife. Aiden just grunts, glowering at the succubus. Seems like he hasn’t quite forgiven Leon and Athanasi for the stabbing incident earlier. In their defense, Lambert could’ve been clearer about what he wanted Athanasi to do when he handed them a knife. Something tells Leon that mentioning that to the Cat wouldn’t end well for him though. 

“Look Leon! I’m doing it!” Athanasi calls, tossing three knives in the air before yelping when they miss the catch. Leon just facepalms. The likelihood of this ending without another injury seems to be growing slimmer and slimmer. Yet as Athanasi bounces up to Lambert, chattering excitedly to the Wolf who is grinning down at them, Leon releases a relieved sigh. Despite some bumps in the road, the pair seems to be getting along well. Though now that Leon thinks about it, he doesn’t know if that’s a good thing. Aw, shit.

Athanasi is having fun! Lambert may seem grumpy but he’s a softie, just like Leon said. Even though they accidentally stabbed Lambert, he has already forgiven Athanasi, grumbling that they aren’t the first one to stab him. That made Athanasi sad but then Lambert started teaching them how to _juggle_ and it’s so much fun!

Athanasi is in the middle of their 10th attempt to catch one of the knives when they gasp and let all of them drop. Dagger has crept outside and is now pressed against Aiden who is whispering soft things to her. “May I pet her?” Athanasi asks hopefully, turning to Lambert and clasping their hands together. 

He looks conflicted for a moment before nodding reluctantly. “Just be gentle,” he grunts. 

Scurrying over, Athanasi falls to their knees and pets the soft spines, crooning into Dagger’s ears. Though she’s shaking slightly, once Lambert comes over and he and Aiden press against her, Dagger calms. 

“She’s lucky to have two men with such bright and kind auras watching over her,” Athanasi remarks, grinning at the witchers. 

Aiden barks out a laugh. “You don’t have to appease me succubus. I know how bloody my aura must be,” he sneers. Athanasi turns confused eyes to Aiden, tilting their head as they study his aura. It’s true that he has several shadows, but as they’ve explained, that indicates harm done to someone by outside forces or people. And though there are thin veins of blood red criss crossing his aura, it is combated by a bright green glow. And outlining his aura is a tangle of brown, red, and black, showing that Aiden’s dearest wish is to provide and receive stability and love. It’s the same outline as Lambert’s, though Lambert lacks the black lines, wishing more to submit than dominate. Another compatible match. 

Blinking out of their daze, Athanasi frowns at Aiden. “Your aura is not bloody though,” they say, scrambling up and backing away when Aiden’s expression darkens into something twisted. “I literally have bloodlust,” he snarls, stalking towards Athanasi with clenched fists as they continue to back up. “I go mad with it and will cut down anyone in my path, including _lying succubi.”_ Athanasi shakes as Aiden’s eyes glaze over and his face morphs into a bloodthirsty snarl, his whole frame vibrating. He almost looks possessed. Taking another step back, Athanasi jolts when they run into something only to relax when they realise it’s Leon’s chest. 

Gathering their courage Athanasi squeaks out, “But is it your fault?” 

Athanasi’s question stops Aiden in his tracks, and the witcher blinks blankly at the succubus as Leon wraps his arms protectively around them. As Leon does so, Lambert mirrors him, wrapping Aiden in what looks more like a restraining hold than a hug. Some of the madness burning in Aiden’s eyes fades away as Lambert whispers something in his ear and Dagger presses against his leg with a whine. Closing his eyes, Aiden takes slow steady breaths and Athanasi watches with interest as his frame stops trembling and his hands unclench. 

Sitting down, Aiden bows his head as he pets Dagger meditatively. “What do you mean by that succubus?” he eventually rasps, pressing his face to Dagger’s coat. 

Lowering themself onto the cobblestones so they can face Aiden more easily, Athanasi tilts their head. “Is the bloodlust your fault? Did you create it?” they clarify, gasping with delight when a goat clambers into their lap. As they pet it, Athanasi watches Aiden as he frowns down at Dagger, continuing his steady strokes while Lambert holds him from behind, this time in what looks like a calming embrace. They are so precious together, and Athanasi smiles softly as their auras brush against each other, melding and blending into one. 

“It was a side effect of the Cat formula,” Aiden murmurs eventually, still keeping his gaze fixed on Dagger. Athanasi doesn’t blame him; between people and animals, they would want to shower animals with more attention too. But they can tell this is an important conversation so instead of getting distracted by the goat’s soft coat, they stroke it idly while studying the witcher before them. Shoulders tense and hunched, Aiden looks almost as though he is ashamed, frightened, but that is confusing. His aura is so bright. 

“So if the formula is the cause of your bloodlust, then how can the bloodlust make you a bad person?” they point out simply. 

Finally, Aiden lifts his head, and Athanasi releases a soft whine at the sorrow and pain etched into that face, at the hopelessness reflected in those amber eyes. “I have killed countless people, people who were innocent,” he croaks, fingers tightening in spines before relaxing when Dagger nips his fingers. Whispering an apology, Aiden returns to his soft ministrations. "It doesn't matter where the bloodlust came from; it was still my hands that dealt the killing blows." 

Athanasi doesn’t quite know what this “bloodlust” is but they think back to a few minutes earlier, the savage snarl twisting Aiden’s face, eyes wild and glazed over. “You were slipping into it earlier, weren’t you?” Athanasi asks with growing understanding. 

Aiden shrinks further and Lambert hums softly, stroking his hands up and down the Cat’s arms. “Yes,” he whispers. 

“But you stopped yourself,” Athanasi points out, remembering how Aiden seemed to slip into a trance and slowly relax. It seemed quite impressive, going from barely leashed fury to calm meditation.

Shrugging he mumbles, “I’ve worked to control it. It’s taken decades.” 

“Exactly! Don’t you see?” Athanasi exclaims, rolling to their knees with excitement. “It’s not my fault that I need to feed on others but I have worked to control it so I don’t harm anyone. And Leon is helping me learn morality. And it’s not _your_ fault that you possess bloodlust but the important thing is you are _trying.”_ Athanasi emphasises. “As long as you try to control that darkness forced onto you, as long as you _fight it_ you will be alright. That’s why your aura glows so brightly green.” 

Aiden lifts his gaze once again, this time looking at Athanasi with a mixture of confusion and hope. “That tone of green indicates a commitment to growth and healing for yourself and others,” they explain simply, answering the unspoken question. “There are veins of blood red tangled up in it but the green is pushing it away,” Athanasi elaborates, miming as they speak. “Perhaps your aura was once tinged with more blood but that green is growing more powerful each day.” Feeling bold, Athanasi approaches the frozen Cat before kneeling in front of him, gripping his hands tightly. “As long as you continue to try, I have no doubt that those bloody veins will fade away entirely,” they reassure him, gazing up at Aiden with an encouraging smile.

Aiden stares at Athanasi for a long time, expression blank, and their smile begins to fade as they start wondering if they have crossed a line. They hardly know this man after all, and their words have gotten them in trouble countless times before. But as they open their mouth to apologise, Athanasi finds themself swept into a bone-crushing hug. Gasping with delight, Athanasi returns the embrace, relishing in the warmth surrounding them. “You are a good hugger too!” they exclaim. “Are all witchers good huggers?” they breathe, eyes brightening as they begin to formulate a plan. 

“If you’re planning on experimenting with the rest of the keep, just give your victims warning first so we don’t have another stabbing,” Leon says wryly, ruffling Athanasi’s hair. 

Batting his hand away, Athanasi snuggles further into Aiden’s chest. “You are just jealous because you are not getting a nice big hug from Aiden,” Athanasi sniffs haughtily, grinning as the Cat’s chest rumbles with amusement. 

While Leon grumbles good-naturedly, Aiden slowly draws back before pressing their foreheads together. “Thank you,” he rasps, eyes closed tightly. 

Athanasi tilts their head while keeping them connected. “For what?” they ask curiously. All they had said were facts. Since when do people thank others for stating facts? 

Blinking his eyes open, Aiden stares at Athanasi for a long time with an unreadable expression and the succubus looks back, curiosity growing. “Justーthank you,” he repeats, averting his eyes. Athanasi flicks their gaze to Leon who mouths “later.” There's so much about interactions with people that simply baffle Athanasi.

Nodding anyway, they return to Aiden whose eyes burn with gratitude. “You’re welcome,” they grin softly. 

Clearing his throat and nodding, Aiden draws fully back to stand up. “I think I may rest for the rest of the afternoon,” he announces, before turning to Lambert, looking quite vulnerable. 

Lambert seems to blink out of a daze, shaking his head as he turns away from where he was staring at Athanasi. “Guess I can survive spending the rest of the day in bed with you,” he smirks, before hooking his arm through Aiden’s and sauntering away. 

As they retreat, Athanasi turns to Leon who draws him into a tight hug. “You know, I think you may be the biggest blessing these witchers will receive in their lives,” Leon remarks, nosing at Athanasi’s neck affectionately. 

“How so?” Athanasi frowns, still terribly confused. 

Pulling back so he can cradle Athanasi’s face, Leon strokes their cheek gently, gazing at them with warm amber eyes. “You are helping them heal,” he says simply. “Each and every one of them have a deep well of self-loathing. And you are cutting through it effortlessly.” 

Athanasi’s frown deepens. “But I’m just saying what I know,” they protest, linking one of their hands into Leon’s and swinging their arms back and forth. 

“Right, but they don’t know what their auras look like. You are giving them insight into their souls that they never knew, never believed.” 

Athanasi’s eyes lose focus as they stare into the distance, trying to understand. Seeing and reading auras is as easy as breathing for Athanasi. There is nothing remarkable or shocking about them, though Athanasi derives pleasure in studying the different auras they encounter. While reading auras was supposed to just be used to know a person’s sexual preferences, Athanasi finds that a person’s aura tells so much more than whether they want to be tied up in bed or not. It reflects their soul, their inner wants and desires, their disposition, their pleasure, their pain. 

Pleasure and satisfaction do not just derive from sex, so why would sexual preference be all that you focus on when looking at someone's aura? 

So yes, seeing auras and knowing who a person truly is within is an ordinary occurrence for Athanasi. They never thought much about how someone would react to knowing what their aura is until they described Leon’s to him. They still remember the tangle of emotions the half-elf experienced, especially when Athanasi informed him that there was no blood in his aura. 

Upon reflection, Athanasi supposes they shouldn’t be surprised then that the witchers would have a similar, but slightly more volatile, reaction to learning about their auras. The shadows peppering each of them spoke for themselves. 

But did Aiden truly think his soul was corrupt? How could the man who tends to his injured partner with care and apologises to a creature for petting them too roughly think they are bad? It doesn’t make sense. 

Oh, these poor souls. Athanasi understands a bit more now why Lambert and Geralt summoned Yennefer if Aiden is representative of how they view themselves. Well, Athanasi will just have to make it their new mission to hug each and every member of Kaer Morhen and inform them how good they truly are. Yes, this seems like a good winter project. 

*******

Today was far better than yesterday, knife juggling aside. After Aiden and Lambert retreated, Leon and Athanasi spent the rest of the afternoon in the forge with Ciri and Ewa as the two blacksmiths began tackling some of their winter orders. It was just like back home with bantering and lighthearted insults. With Ewa’s help, Athanasi even got some gentle teasing in themself, though their attempts were utterly endearing and not quite what Ewa was going for. The highlight was when Nasi said, “Wow Leon your hammering form could do better but you’re doing a really good job and I believe in you!” Leon chuckles to himself. Nasi seems incapable of insulting Leon, even in jest. 

But now comes the next challenge. When Leon mentioned the pack room, Athanasi’s eyes lit up with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. As they enter though, Athanasi coos and rushes over to where a pile of furry bodies are tussling. Wiggling between Jaskier and Kamil after asking permission, Athanasi releases a happy hum. Soon the rest of the keep filters in, and while Yennefer and Geralt give Athanasi an awkward berth, Lambert, Aiden, and Dagger walk over to them with purpose before hesitating. “May we?” Aiden asks, gesturing to the doggy pile Athanasi is buried in. When they nod eagerly, Aiden and Lambert settle down, curling on either side of Athanasi as the succubus squirms happily. Snuffling in Athanasi's ear, Jaskier curls into their lap to the succubus' utter elation. Poor Geralt must be feeling bereft. Hopefully tomorrow Athanasi will spend some time with him and clear the air between the pair. For now, Leon settles behind Athanasi, stroking their hair gently as Ciri and Ewa squeeze between them. 

“You know, with so many bodies pressed around I bet you could feast tonight,” Leon jokes, blinking at Athanasi’s thoughtful expression. 

“Really?” Athanasi whispers. When he turns to silently appraise the group’s feelings about it, Leon receives various nods and shrugs. Word must have spread about how Jaskier truly wasn't affected when Athanasi fed from him yesterday.

Once Leon gives them an encouraging nod, Athanasi closes their eyes, shuddering as they draw energy from the various residents of the keep pressed against them. It’s a long moment before Athanasi stirs, yet Leon feels no different, no weaker, and by the surprised expressions around him, Leon knows the experience is universal. When Athanasi open their eyes once again, their head lolls back as they shoot Leon a dopey grin. “You’re all soー” they hum, snuggling into the pile of bodies before smacking their lips. “So _soft_ and _warm.”_ As they hug a surprised Lambert tightly, Athanasi sighs, patting Lambert’s head sloppily. “So many pretty colors and soft soft softies.” 

Leon just watches with utter bemusement. He’s never seen Athanasi act like this before. If he didn’t know better, Leon would say that Nasi was drunk. 

Gasping, Athanasi sits up and smooshes Lambert’s cheeks together, eyes glowing with a fervent light. “We should have a _juggling_ contest. Right now!” 

Leon’s eyes widen with panic when Nasi brandishes a dagger from out of thin air and starts waving it around. Launching himself across the pile of bodies who are watching Nasi with utter bafflement, Leon snatches the knife away. “No juggling!” he snaps. 

Turning to Leon, Athanasi throws themself into his arms, rubbing their face into his neck. “You always smell so good like fire and mint and happiness and home,” they hum, attempting to clamber into Leon’s lap. Leon lets them do so helplessly. 

“Nasi, are you feeling alright?” he asks carefully as Athanasi sways themself back and forth. 

“I wish you could see how pretty and bright and good all your auras are,” they sigh, waving their hands in the air. 

“Nasi?” Leon prompts, not knowing whether to laugh or panic. 

“Hm?” is the response, as Athanasi begins inexplicably chewing on Leon’s tunic. 

“Are you feeling alright?” he repeats, gently pushing the succubus away before they tear into the material. 

“Hmm. Everything is floaty and light and bouncy and I wanna roll around!” they exclaim before doing just that. 

Leon watches with his mouth gaped open as Athanasi rolls themselves up into a rug, wiggling happily. “What the fuck?” he breathes. 

“Succubi can’t get drunk on alcohol,” Ciri muses, recalling a conversation they had when Ewa was utterly sloshed. “Is it possible they can get drunk if they feed from multiple bodies simultaneously?” 

“How am I supposed to know?” Leon asks hysterically, attempting to drag Athanasi away from Lambert’s stash of daggers in the corner. _Why_ must they be so obsessed with sharp objects? And why must Lambert have an unhealthy attachment to knives? Out of ideas, Leon tackles and pins Nasi down, but the succubus’ only response is to hum happily and snuggle closer to him, mumbling about how much they love cuddling him but how much they want to play with knives now. 

Leon turns to Ewa and Ciri helplessly, but they both shrug and shoot him shit-eating grins. “That’s what you get for being a shit whenever one of us gets drunk,” Ewa teases. After a moment when Leon continues to stare at them desperately, the two women roll their eyes and relocate to where Leon and Athanasi lie. To his surprise, Lambert and Aiden follow. Soon, they are rearranged in a way that prevents Athanasi from reaching any more sharp objects. Call it, aggressive cuddling? Once they’ve all settled down, Nasi slips off to sleep in no time and, after shooting Lambert and Aiden grateful looks, Leon follows them, heart far more lighter than it was last night. Maybe this winter won’t be a complete disaster after all. 

*******

Dagger watches the silly two leggeds as they pile together for the dark time. She got big big again when more two leggeds arrived and even though they also carry pointy things pointy gentle one and pointy soft one like them so Dagger likes them too. But right now Dagger is too big to snuggle and Dagger wants cuddles and pets and snuggles. Time to be brave again. When she walks up to the piles of two leggeds, Dagger isn’t big and pointy anymore. She looks around to all the different two and four leggeds. Maybe one dark time she will cuddle with one of them too. But she used up all her bravery today. Settling onto pointy soft one Dagger rumbles softly and, surrounded by pack and safety, she goes to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I model Athanasi’s drunkenness on how I act when I’m tipsy? You can't prove anything.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Operation: Cuddle Everyone at Kaer Morhen and Tell Them How Good They Are is a GO. Next targets: Geralt and Yennefer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for a depiction of a panic attack near the middle/end. Don’t worry, the character gets lots of support :-)

The next morning, Leon bites his lip to keep from laughing at Athanasi’s befuddled expression. “What happened last night?” they ask lethargically, propping themself up against Leon’s shoulder before slowly sliding back to the floor.

Bracing them so they don’t faceplant, Leon grins fondly at his love. “It turns out you can get drunk, just not the way the rest of us can,” he explains. 

His grin grows as Athanasi blinks up at him hazily. “Huh?” 

“You fed from a bunch of us at once, got drunk, and tried starting a dagger juggling contest with me,” Lambert mumbles from where he’s buried in Jaskier’s fur coat. 

“Soft daggers are fun,” Aiden yawns as he pets Dagger and snuggles closer to Athanasi. 

The succubus in question simply stares at the assembled creatures curled up beside them before promptly slipping back to the floor. Wrapping their arms around Lambert and placing their head in Leon’s lap they mumble, “Too sleepy to think.” Leon’s heart squeezes when Lambert shifts so he can subtly scent Athanasi as he does with the rest of his pack. Fuck, he’s so relieved their less than ideal first meeting is fading into the past. 

Turning to look at where Yennefer and Geralt are watching their pile of bodies from afar, Leon’s resolve strengthens. By tonight, Yennefer and Geralt will be joining the cuddle pile as well. Now that he’s had time to cool down and they’ve shown their remorse even after apologising, Leon is feeling slightly more willing to forgive them. But that doesn’t mean he’s about to leave Athanasi vulnerable to possible slip ups. 

Brushing a lock of hair out of Athanasi’s eyes, Leon smiles softly at them. For now, the first order of business is convincing them to get up for breakfast. “Anyone who isn’t up in the next 5 minutes is running the walls,” Vesemir announces, hands on his hips as he surveys the sprawled bodies severely. At the scattered protests he amends, “Any _witchers_ who don’t get up in the next 5 minutes is running walls.” Leon’s eyes narrow at the glint in Vesemir’s eyes as the rest of the members of the pack room relax. He doesn’t trust that look. “And any _non-humans_ who don’t get up in the next 5 minutes gets to muck out the stalls for the next week.” Yep, there it is. 

Groaning, the members of the keep stumble to their feet in various levels of wakefulness, unwilling to test Vesemir’s concept of time. 

When it’s clear Athanasi isn’t planning on letting go of Lambert any time soon though, Leon starts to bribe them with Marya’s biscuits. They got a taste of them last night and as expected, Athanasi is hooked. At the mention of the biscuits, one emerald eye peels open. “You’re just tryin’ to lower my guard so you have a chance to cuddle Lambert,” they accuse with a yawn. A golden eye opens next to them, this one sparkling with mirth. 

“Lambert carries around too many daggers for my taste,” Leon remarks dryly. 

Now Athanasi pouts. “But I was going to get more daggers because Lambert told me that it’s important to have at least five on you at all times. Does that mean I won’t get cuddles?” 

Leon facepalms before sliding his hand down to glare at the smirking Wolf. “You are a terrible influence on them,” he growls. 

Wiggling to free himself only to find that Athanasi has turned into a limpet, Lambert stands, the succubus’ feet dangling in the air as they stubbornly keep their arms wrapped around his neck. “It’s your fault for suggesting I show them my knives,” Lambert smirks before throwing Athanasi onto his back and giving them a ride out of the room. 

As Leon watches them leave hopelessly, Aiden lifts his head to squint up at him. “They may have slightly shattered my self-perception yesterday but if they start flirting with Lambert I won’t hesitate to cut them,” he slurs, jabbing his finger at Leon. 

“You know, when you are listing to the side and petting a cuddly animal, your threat kinda loses its heat,” Leon smirks. When Aiden just glares up at him mulishly, Leon rolls his eyes and hauls him up. “Trust me, Athanasi has no interest in stealing Lambert from you. I had to endure them gushing about how compatible your two auras are all afternoon,” he grumbles, dragging Aiden out of the room. 

He stumbles when Aiden stops in his tracks. “What does that mean?” he asks faintly, the last of his sleep-laden brain washing away. Leon studies Aiden as the ordinarily confident witcher’s amber eyes simmer with uncertainty. Damn, these witchers are hopeless.

Clasping Aiden's shoulder, Leon smiles kindly at him. “Means you balance each other out, fill each other’s needs perfectly. Means that if you don’t fuck anything up, you could easily spend the rest of your lives together in perfect sappy bliss.” Leon falters as Aiden stares at him slack-jawed. Shit, he wishes Athanasi was still here. They would probably hug Aiden reassuringly and talk about what a good person he is and shit. Instead, Leon nods down the hallway. “I’m slightly terrified of what Lambert and Athanasi will get up to on their own so I think I’m gonna go chase them down,” he remarks awkwardly. 

Leon releases a soft breath of relief when that seems to knock Aiden out of his daze enough for the witcher to follow Leon towards the smell of freshly baked bread. “They weren’t taking the piss?” Aiden asks quietly, eyes boring holes into the ground. 

Leon glances at the Cat whose shoulders are hunched and hands are digging into Dagger’s fur as she walks beside them. “They are the most sincere person I know,” Leon murmurs. “I don’t think they know _how_ to take the piss.” 

Aiden hums, still studying the floor with a frown. They walk the rest of the way in silence. It’s understandable; Athanasi’s insight usually takes some time to process. 

*******

Athanasi is listening attentively to Lambert’s advice about the best places to stab people as they finish up their breakfast when a throat clears behind them. Turning, Athanasi beams up at Jaskier before faltering in the face of Geralt standing beside him. “Thought I could show you the stables,” the witcher grunts, shuffling his feet awkwardly. “Introduce you to some of the horses.” Athanasi bites their lip to keep from squealing with excitement at the prospect of meeting more animals. 

Turning to Lambert, Athanasi leans forward to give him a tight hug. “Thank you for the tips, I’m very excited to try stabbing people!” Athanasi exclaims, hearing Leon choke beside them. 

Turning a worried gaze to Leon whose eyes are bulging out, Athanasi asks, “Are you alright?” 

Flapping his hand in the air, Leon takes in a desperate breath. “What have we said about stabbing people?” he says hysterically. 

Athanasi sighs before grumbling obediently, “Only stab them out of self-defense.” 

Guffawing, Lambert slaps Athanasi on the back which Athanasi has learned is a gesture of affection. Lambert is willingly expressing affection towards Athanasi! “Don’t listen to him little viper. There are plenty of other opportunities to get a good stabbing in,” he grins. Athanasi returns the smile. They can’t wait to learn when! 

“Not helping,” Leon hisses out, leaning across Athanasi to glare at Lambert. 

Swiveling their head between the two men now trading challenging stares, Athanasi slowly slides their chair back and hurries to Jaskier’s side. “This may be a good time to go,” they say wisely. 

Geralt’s lips twitch before he grunts. “I think you’re right.” 

A few minutes later, Athanasi has determined that they know what they want to do for the rest of their life. Horses are _majestic_ and _glorious_ and _so pretty_ and Athanasi wants to spend all day with them. When they inform Jaskier of this, he releases a light chuckle. “Well perhaps that can be a potential job then,” he suggests. “A stablehand.” 

Athanasi’s eyes widen. For the past few months Leon has tried to get Athanasi different jobs but people are hard and nothing quite worked out. “Would I get to spend all day with horses?” they ask hopefully.

“There’s some human interaction when you’re trading mounts and coin but other than that, yeah,” Jaskier shrugs as he feeds Biscuit a sugar cube. Biscuit is Athanasi’s favourite. She is so pretty and energetic and little compared to the rest of the horses. 

“You and Geralt share something in common you know,” Jaskier says slyly. Geralt and Athanasi trade confused expressions before turning to Jaskier with a tilt of their heads. Huffing out a laugh, Jaskier gestures to the horses. “You both like horses and don’t always love people,” he explains. 

“You too?” Athanasi asks excitedly, turning to Geralt. “People can just be so tiresome and confusing, right?” 

Geralt stiffens, flicking his gaze to Jaskier before allowing the shadow of a smile to tug at his lips. “The Continent is filled mostly with wankers and bastards. They speak in riddles and will smile before stabbing you once your back is turned. Horsesー” he shrugs, stroking Roach’s nose affectionately. “Horses are simpler, more straightforward. If they nicker they’re hungry, if they bite or kick they’re threatened, if they nuzzle you they like you.” 

Athanasi clasps their hands together. That’s what they need. A job where they don’t have to worry about whether a human is being serious or literal or whether what Athanasi says will be perceived as an insult or not. “Can you teach me?” they beg, taking a timid step forward. “Can you teach me how to be a stablehand?” 

Geralt hesitates before nodding. When he gestures Athanasi forward, Athanasi bounces up to Geralt. “Now, Roach is a biter if she doesn’t know or like you, so we have to start slow,” Geralt coaches. “Gently blow into her nose and then raise your hand so she can scent you.” 

Jaskier beams as he watches Geralt gently guide Athanasi through the proper care of horses. He was so angry with his mate after he made such a grievous error when Athanasi first arrived. But despite his foolish mistake, Geralt has grown immensely over the decades. He approached Jaskier yesterday, admitted his wrongs, and processed it all with the shifter’s help as he worked on his most recent drawing. (It’s of Dagger and Lambert and Jaskier can’t wait for the younger witcher to see it.) Jaskier knew he couldn’t stay mad at Geralt, and soon his ire was replaced with pride as the witcher grappled with what he had done and what to do about it moving forward. 

Despite how much more open he has become with his emotions, how much more accepting he is of affection from others, hearing Athanasi’s observations about the purity of Geralt’s aura was too much for the poor witcher to handle. It’s nothing Jaskier hasn’t said repeatedly over the decades, but it’s one thing having the person who loves you say so and quite another for a creature who can essentially see into your soul confirm it. Jaskier can tell that Geralt is still accepting this new revelation and it will take time for him to fully process it. 

But for now, the witcher is determined to make a better second impression in front of the succubus. Geralt is fiercely protective of Roach and Biscuit, so allowing Athanasi to even step into the stable shows how seriously he is taking this. And actually letting Athanasi touch Roach? Fuck, not even Jaskier could do that until years into their acquaintanceship! 

Determining that they don’t need his help with any mediation, Jaskier shifts, trotting up to Biscuit before curling up beside her. Releasing a low whinny, Biscuit lays her head upon Jaskier’s back with a huff. And with the gentle rumble of his mate’s voice in his ear and the steady presence of his precious girl beside him, Jaskier lets himself slip into a doze. 

Geralt is shocked. Athanasi is picking up on basic equine care rapidly. He’s slightly jealous at _how_ rapidly in fact. After spending a long session going over the proper ways to groom a horse, Geralt led Roach and Scorpion out of the stable. He would’ve taken Biscuit but she was fast asleep beside Jaskier and he didn’t have the heart to disturb them. 

Athanasi has apparently never ridden a horse so Geralt is determined to remedy that now. He’s just glad they’re wearing trousers today; it would be slightly difficult if they were in a dress like yesterday. After modeling how to mount a horse, Geralt spotted Athanasi as they attempted to imitate him. It only took them two tries, the show off. Once they were mounted, Geralt showed them how to grasp the reins before he jumped onto Roach’s back. 

He soon realised how foolish this was as Athanasi nearly steered Scorpion into the stable wall. Would serve the stallion right for touching Geralt’s girl but he would receive a lecture if he lets Athanasi flounder on their own. 

Considering Geralt has never taught anyone how to ride a horse, perhaps this wasn’t the best idea. Well, too late. 

Dismounting as Athanasi struggles to steer Scorpion away from the impending wall, Geralt mounts behind them, holding their hands in his. “You are very warm,” Athanasi observes as they stick out their tongue and follow Geralt’s guidance so they veer gently to the right. 

Rumbling out a laugh Geralt remarks, “I have been used as a warmer many times in my life.” 

“Leon has been teaching me that you shouldn’t let yourself be used though,” Athanasi protests, genuine distress in their voice. 

When they attempt to turn so they can look at Geralt, Athanasi loses their balance and Geralt shoots out an arm so they don’t plummet to the ground. “Rule ten: eyes ahead until you’ve mastered how to balance in a saddle,” Geralt says firmly. 

Nodding rapidly, Athanasi turns back around, tilting to the left as Geralt gently guides them to steer right. “Tell me who is using you and I will have a talk with them,” Athanasi proclaims. “Perhaps this is one of the times Lambert was indicating when I can stab people?” 

Geralt blinks. This creature hardly knows Geralt and their first meeting was far from ideal yet they want to protect him from a nonexistent threat? “Why?” Geralt rasps, releasing Athanasi’s hands as they more confidently begin to steer. 

“Because you deserve to be treated right,” Athanasi says firmly. 

“I hurt you,” Geralt feels compelled to point out. 

Athanasi shrugs. “You were scared.” Geralt swallows. They say that so bluntly, so casually, like it’s not one of the greatest shames for a witcher to admit feeling fear. 

“I am not a good man,” Geralt grits out, squeezing his eyes shut before forcing them open when he remembers his responsibility. And good thing he does because they were slowly but steadily heading towards another wall. Taking over the steering once again, Geralt turns Scorpion who releases an irritated huff. Geralt will be giving him several treats after this, even if he did impregnate Geralt’s daughter. 

“I’m sorry you think that,” Athanasi says mournfully before sighing. “I wish you could see how brightly your aura shines.” Geralt remembers them mentioning his aura the first day, claiming that it glows golden. His mind was in such a panic he hardly recalls what they said. 

“Can you explain what it’s like again?” he whispers, releasing the reins once more to allow Athanasi to lead them into a circle and hopefully not another wall. 

Wiggling happily Athanasi rushes out, “Your center glows a beautiful red indicating your desire to love and be loved. The ring around that is golden, reflecting your good heart and the fact that you are steady and reliant, and would do anything to help those in need and those you love. The outline of your aura is a tangle of purple, pink, and blue, which indicates your equal desire to bed men and women, and the tendril of grey running through it means that you enjoy being penetrated as much as doing the penetrating. Furthermoreー” 

Whatever Athanasi was planning to say next is cut off with Geralt’s strained, “I think I get the picture.” He knows that his ears are bright red as his mind reels. Geralt's utter mortification at hearing his preferences in the bedroom so casually laid out temporarily distracts from the rest of what Athanasi says. “Can you tell the sexual preferences of everyone at the keep?” Geralt rasps, eyes widening in horror. He doesn’t know if he would be able to sleep knowing that kind of information. 

“Yes! Would you like me to share?” 

“NO!” Geralt shouts, wincing when Leon halts his sparring on the training ground to glare at Geralt and storm over to them. Deciding that his attention won’t be able to stay on keeping them safe anymore, Geralt dismounts before helping Athanasi down as well. 

Leon slows down as he nears them, studying Geralt’s expression. “Athanasi, what did you say to him?” Leon asks carefully. 

“He asked about his aura and so I told him!” Athanasi pipes up. “Did you see how well I was riding a horse?” 

“I saw you almost ride into a wall,” he replies distractedly before piercing Athanasi with a firm stare. “Did you tell him about his _whole_ aura?” Leon asks. 

“Of course, why?” Athanasi says, cocking their head. 

Groaning, Leon grips their shoulders. “Nasi, remember what we've said? People don’t like it when you talk about their preferences in the bedroom,” he says patiently. 

Geralt starts sliding out of his daze when Athanasi turns to him with wide, panicked eyes. “I’m sorry Geralt! Please don’t tell Yennefer!” 

A spike of guilt stabs through Geralt’s chest and he takes a step forward before faltering when Athanasi scrambles back. “We won’t harm you little one,” he rumbles gently. “I just wasn’t expecting you to know so much detail about my-you know.” 

“How else am I supposed to seduce my targets unless I know exactly what they want?” Athanasi asks with a forced smile. Geralt's usual instinct to fight a creature who targets humans is beaten back with a reminder of what Yennefer and Leon shared yesterday. This cheerful creature forced themselves into doing acts that repulsed them for years just to survive, and only targeted the worst of humanity. They’re not malicious. Right. Fuck. 

“Well, you don’t need to worry about what people want to do in bed anymore,” Geralt says firmly, fingers twitching with repressed energy. 

Their strained smile melting into something more genuine, Athanasi nods hesitantly, leaning against Leon. “I always enjoyed looking at the other parts of people’s auras anyway,” they remark wistfully. 

Right. The other parts. Geralt swallows, playing Athanasi’s words back and finding himself spiralling again. Fuck, he needs Jaskier and Dandelion so he can process this more, preferably with a piece of charcoal or paint in his hand. Clapping Athanasi on the shoulder Geralt says gruffly, “Good work today. Want another lesson tomorrow?” 

Geralt’s eyes widen as he’s tugged into a tight hug, Athanasi’s face buried into his tunic. “You’ll teach me more?” they ask hopefully. 

Returning the hug gently, Geralt props his chin on their head. “Of course little one. We need to get you properly trained to be a stablehand after all, don’t we?” When Athanasi pulls away, Geralt’s heart twists painfully. Fuck, he doesn’t deserve such a bright smile shot his way from this creature, not after how he’s treated them. 

Geralt deserves their fear and distrust, but feeling phantom arms wrapped around him as he nods at them and trudges back to the stable, Geralt determines that he will do everything in his power to get them to feel comfortable around him. He halts in his steps, blinking as Geralt recalls Athanasi’s explanation of what the golden hue in his aura meant. Huh. Maybe...maybe.

*******

Yennefer studies the succubus before her as they fidget with a misshapen piece of glass around their neck. “I would ask for my coin back from whomever sold you that lumpy thing,” she drawls, trying to break the ice. “I can certainly find you something far better.” As she turns to her chest of jewels Yennefer hears a growl and an affronted gasp. 

Turning back to Athanasi and their glowering bodyguard Yennefer raises an inquiring eyebrow. “I’ll have you know that Leon made me this as a gift and it’s the prettiest piece of jewelry ever and I will never replace it!” Athanasi exclaims, wrapping their arms around Leon as they speak. 

Yennefer’s lips twitch. “You have quite some fire in you, don’t you little flower?” 

Athanasi flicks their gaze down, gripping their pendant tightly. “Leon made it for me with his own two hands and it replaced the one I stole from one of my first victims. This is proof that my life can be different,” they say softly, determination thrumming through their words. 

Their proclamation pings on something that had been niggling in the back of Yennefer's mind since she peered into theirs. “Tell me flower, why did you choose people with blood-red auras to feed from? Why not feed from people who emanate warmth and then simply stop yourself before you drain them?” 

A shadow of phantom pain flashes across Athanasi’s face before they take a shaky breath and their expression hardens with resolve. “Because I decided that if I was forced to engage in an act I find so repulsive, I might as well be productive and make it worthwhile by helping clear humanity of monsters,” they say fiercely, fists clenching. Yennefer’s breath catches in her throat. She had been racking her brain for the reason why but she never would’ve expected it was for such a...noble cause. Then again, with the little that she knows of this creature, perhaps Yennefer shouldn’t be surprised. 

Feeling slightly unbalanced, Yennefer turns away to give them some privacy as Leon murmurs gently in their ear and Athanasi buries their face in his neck. Opening up one of her chests, Yennefer gestures to it. “Care to take a peek?” 

After a final glance and squeeze with Leon, Athanasi grasps his hand and leads him towards Yennefer, staying glued to his side. She feels a stab of guilt at the blatant sign that the succubus isn’t fully comfortable being near her on their own. Yennefer can’t blame them, she just hopes she can remedy her mistakes. Fuck, since when does she want to help a complete stranger? Gods, Yennefer knows when. 

As she peered into their mind, Yennefer expected to see hidden motives for why Athanasi came to Kaer Morhen and told Geralt and Lambert what they were desperate yet afraid to hear. She feels a fresh wave of nausea at the memory of what she found instead. 

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Yennefer lays out some of her gowns onto the bed. Each one cost her more than the wardrobe of every member of Kaer Morhen combined, no doubt, and usually she would cringe at the thought of anyone’s hands touching them. (After the night she found Geralt, Lambert, and Eskel drunkenly wearing her gowns she shrunk all of their clothes for a week in retaliation. Partly because she was slightly envious at how well they could fill out some of them.) 

Reverent fingers brush against a ruffled black and grey striped gown before Athanasi coos at a shimmering silver one. “So _pretty,”_ they breathe. 

A smile tugs at Yennefer’s lips. “Care to try it on?”

Athanasi looks down at their plump figure before glancing up at Yennefer skeptically. “I do not think we are the same size,” they observe. Smirking, Yennefer wiggles her fingers, allowing some of her magic to spark at her fingertips. Athanasi watches her with wide eyes, alternating between trepidation and awe. 

Snapping her fingers, Yennefer clears her throat. “It should morph to your form now,” she announces, her chest filling with warmth at the spark of excitement in the succubus’ eyes. 

With a grin, Athanasi starts stripping in front of her. Balking, Yennefer hurriedly turns her back while Leon groans. “Nasi, remember what we’ve said about _modesty?”_ he asks with exasperation. 

“Oops,” is the meek response. “It’s so hard to remember all the things we’ve talked about.” 

Yennefer’s lips twitch as she hears a sigh and some clothing ruffle. “It’s alright _en’ca minne,_ you’re learning.” 

After a few seconds Athanasi gives the okay. Turning, Yennefer arches an impressed brow. Huh. They really make it work. Glancing at Leon, Yennefer has to swallow a laugh. His jaw has dropped open and he’s staring at Athanasi dumbly. The silken gown is a far cry from the simple frocks and tunics Athanasi seems to own. Swirling back and forth, Athanasi looks coyly from beneath their eyelashes. “How do I look?” they ask timidly. 

“Yeah Leon, how do they look?” Yennefer prompts with a smirk. As Athanasi turns to him Leon clicks his mouth shut and continues to stare for a long moment. Clearing his throat he says roughly, “You uh, you look good.” That lackluster observation should _not_ have the succubus beaming so brightly. 

Bouncing to look at Yennefer, Athanasi does a little twirl, laughing with delight. “I feel very pretty! Thank you Yennefer!” Yennefer swallows as that bright smile is turned to her and flails unattractively when she finds herself with an armful of succubus. “I knew that you had to be nice when I looked at your aura, even if it was filled with lightning,” they whisper fervently. 

Yennefer stiffens. “What does the lightning mean?” she asks, blood running cold. Since learning that Athanasi can read all their auras, something not even Yennefer can do, she’s been filled with dread over what they must see in her. 

Humming, Athanasi buries their face in her shoulder. “It means you lost something that nearly broke you and have done desperate and drastic things to get it back. Yet nothing you have done has filled that gaping hole left behind.” Grief and terror at being so seen chokes her and Yennefer stumbles away from the succubus, staring in horror at eyes that are far too empathetic. 

Her heart beats too loud in her ears as Yennefer fumbles for a place to fall, finally finding herself upon her bed, fingers digging into her sheets in a white-knuckled grip. “You don’t know of what you speak of succubus,” a voice that does not sound like her own rasps. 

A weight on the bed settles beside her, and ignoring the sparks flying from her fingers, a warm hand clasps around one of hers. “There is a glow of turquoise that swirls around the lightning,” a voice says in her ear softly. Yennefer continues to stare into the distance numbly. “Though you have not been able to fill that hole, you have begun to find some solace and clarity, because your red center that craves love has started to be fulfilled.” Yennefer drops her head with a ragged breath, realising distantly that she is trembling and gripping the hand in hers far too tightly as an unnatural wind blows furiously throughout the room. 

Breaths start coming in gasps and a second, a minute, an hour later a familiar arm wraps around hers. “You’re alright my love,” Coën murmurs in her ear. “Breathe for me.” Closing her eyes, Yennefer focuses on the sound and scent of a man far too noble and good for her, yet one who persistently insists that she deserves him. 

Pressing her forehead to his shoulder and gripping his hand, Yennefer slows her breathing until she regains her tenuous grip on her chaos. The world stops spinning out of control as she takes each breath, and soon Yennefer is able to pull back and gaze into worried yellow-green eyes. “What happened my lady?” Coën asks, brushing a hand through her hair. 

Still trembling minutely, Yennefer turns to stare into contrite eyes as Athanasi pulls their hand away from her fearfully. “I am sorry Yennefer,” they whimper. “I did not mean to hurt you.” Yennefer can feel Coën tense and rumble warningly, the usually serene witcher ready to strike.

Laying a staying hand on him, Yennefer releases a shaky breath. “You didn’t do anything wrong my flower,” she croaks, her voice reedy and weak. “Just, brought up far too much.” Athanasi’s face crumples and Yennefer has the desperate need to remove such an expression, replace it with that bright smile from earlier. It's inexplicable; if anyone else dared strip away Yennefer's defenses so casually she would be tearing them apart. Yet, this creature before her is like none she has ever encountered in all her decades. They possess a sincerity and genuine earnestness not found in others across the Continent. Given all they have experienced, Yennefer would think they would be jaded, apathetic, bitter. Like her. But somehow they have retained their heart. How? Does she have a chance to patch hers up then too?

Flashes of images from when she peered into Athanasi's mind appear before Yennefer once again, juxtaposed by the worried and empathetic expression she faces now. Around her fractured walls grows a new resolve, one born from care rather than self-defense. Never again. As she takes a deep breath, Yennefer has the dawning realisation that she will do absolutely anything to protect this creature from the evils of this world. How odd. 

Flicking a grateful gaze to Leon from where he hovers nearby, for who else must have summoned Coën, Yennefer stands on shaky legs. “You mentioned you wanted to see some of my lip paint?” she asks, voice still sounding strained. She surveys the room; parchment and loose clothes are scattered around, along with various other unsecured items. She’ll deal with all of that later, along with...everything Athanasi said. 

Eyes brightening with hope and excitement, Athanasi jumps up, clasping their hands together. “You will still show me?” they ask with shock. 

Shooting them a weak smile, Yennefer turns to where she keeps her paints, taking a moment to compose herself. “I gave my word, didn’t I?” And with Coën’s steady presence beside her and Athanasi’s excitable chatter in her ear, Yennefer banishes the familiar grief she has carried with her for decades. She has given up on her chances of having a child, but upon reflection she still has gotten far more than she ever expected. Yennefer was able to raise Ciri as one of her own, though she shared the cub with Geralt and Jaskier. But beyond thatー Yennefer discreetly presses against Coën as the witcher wraps an arm around herーbeyond that she has found a family, she has found love. And now she has this bright flower by her side as well, so eager to please and find a place to belong. Perhaps...perhaps this will be enough. 

*******

Athanasi fidgets with their uneaten biscuit as they lean against Leon at the dining table. They were very afraid they broke or angered Yennefer earlier but Yennefer has reassured them that they did nothing wrong. Athanasi didn’t fully believe her but then she let them try her lip paints and eyelid stuff and more dresses and now Athanasi feels very pretty. Not to mention, Leon keeps staring at them with wide eyes which makes them feel even prettier. 

But now they are frowning down at their biscuit. Everyone is digging into the overflowing plate of treats except for Yennefer, Geralt, and Lambert. But Athanasi feels bad because they forgive what they did and want to be friends with them. Athanasi thinks back to the first time Leon gave them a honey cake and talked about the idea of “sharing.” Even though Athanasi loves Leon very much they still refuse to share their treats with Leon because they are too yummy, but now...well, Lambert, Geralt, and Yennefer shouldn’t have to feel left out. 

Grabbing two more biscuits, Athanasi rises from their chair before distributing one to each of them, giving a hug as they do. When they make it back to their seat, the chatter around the table had died down and Yennefer, Geralt, and Lambert are staring at them, wide eyed. “Did I do something wrong?” they ask with a bite of their lip, casting a worried gaze at the various assembled creatures. 

“Usually, anyone who tries to sneak someone a biscuit who has lost their Biscuit Privileges will also lose their privilege,” Marya explains from where she sits with her hand linked with Vesemir's. Athanasi slumps with disappointment. They will miss eating biscuits. Marya taps her fingers on the table before sighing. “But since you are new, I suppose I can be lenient this one time,” she says begrudgingly, her eyes twinkling. “But you three still have a week before you get your privileges back,” Marya adds with a stern look at Yennefer, Geralt, and Lambert.

Athanasi pouts. “But they are sad and deserve to have biscuits too because they are very yummy!” they protest. 

Marya’s eyes flash with amusement as she turns to Athanasi while everyone else seems to be holding their breath. “You’ve got some fire in you, don’t you pup?” she remarks. 

Frowning Athanasi replies, “People keep saying that I have fire in me but I don’t! Otherwise I would cast it around wherever I want,” they add, throwing their arms around as an example.

“They mean that you’re not afraid to push back and challenge people,” Ewa explains with a curve of her lips, bumping her shoulder with theirs. 

“Oh! Thank you!” Athanasi chirps with a grin up at Marya. 

Chuckling, Marya shakes her head. “Well, if the injured party thinks that you three should have your privileges back I suppose I can’t argue,” she grumbles, crossing her arms. 

As one, Geralt, Lambert, and Yennefer launch across the table and snatch up a handful of biscuits. Immediately, it becomes an outright war, the rest of the keep fighting for the remaining biscuits before they all disappear. Athanasi just sits back with wide eyes. They weren’t expecting such havoc; they just wanted everyone to have a chance to eat a biscuit. Soon Geralt and Lambert are wrestling on the ground while Aiden and Eskel seem to be bartering over a trade for each other’s biscuits. 

Standing up, Athanasi peers over the table to where Geralt and Lambert are rolling around. “Why are they fighting if they love each other?” Athanasi asks with a curious tilt of their head. 

“Because they’re uncivilized oafs,” Jaskier chuckles, coming to stand beside them and clapping Athanasi on the shoulder.

“Hmm.” While Lambert and Geralt wrestle, Ciri and Ewa sneak over to their places at the table and snatch their biscuits. Athanasi gasps. “You said stealing was wrong!” they hiss at Leon. 

Hugging them from behind, Leon props his chin on their shoulder with a grin. “When you’re stealing from family, sometimes it’s okay.” He hesitates. “Key word _sometimes_ so run it by me if you’re considering stealing something, okay?” he adds, sounding pained. Athanasi just hums, distracted by the swirling auras all around them. So many pretty colours, melding together and intertwining as a pulse of love spreads through the room. Athanasi breathes it all in with a contented sigh. The affection and love everyone feels for each other is so palpable they almost feel like they could feed on it. 

Eventually, everyone calms down enough to clean up the mess they made, though Ciri and Ewa find themselves in a similar headlock that Leon puts them in once Geralt and Lambert caught what they were doing. Athanasi grins at the familiar gesture that is another example of affection. They had no idea that there were so many different ways of expressing affection until they met Leon. It’s wonderful.

As they start a procession toward the pack room, Athanasi is brimming with excitement. This may be their favourite time of the day. Even without feeding, simply being surrounded by so many bright auras and warm bodies is utterly sublime. They gasp with delight when a spined head nudges against their hand shyly once they reach their favourite rug in the room. Crooning, Athanasi falls to their knees and digs their hands into Dagger’s spiny fur. “You are such a precious girl, aren’t you?” 

Athanasi glances up when a pair of feet enter their view. “May I?” Yennefer asks, gesturing to the ground. A wave of relief washes through them and Athanasi nods eagerly. They are happy that Yennefer still wants to be near them. Though she seemed scary, Athanasi realised today that Yennefer is like Dagger. She looks and acts prickly but it's just a form of protection. Spreading her dress out, Yennefer settles delicately beside them, Coën following. It’s fascinating to see their auras intermingle; Yennefer’s sharp edges are caressed by Coën’s softer tendrils, and in response Yennefer’s aura weaves around his like an embrace. It’s a beautiful give and take. 

Perhaps Athanasi will have a chance to spend more time with Coën tomorrow. Their time in the kitchen with Coën and Marya a few days ago was cut short, and Athanasi is itching to get to know them more. 

As Lambert presses up against Athanasi to their utter delight, Aiden sits behind Dagger, stroking her softly. Soon Athanasi finds themselves surrounded on all sides by the various creatures of the keep, and their eyes widen when a large grey wolf curls up beside Dagger. “Who is that?” they breathe with amazement.

“Geralt,” Leon rumbles in their ear, pressing in from behind. 

Athanasi is about to ask how a witcher can also be a shifter, when, before their uncomprehending eyes, Dagger slowly begins to morph until she’s slightly smaller and covered in black and brown fur. Shuffling forward, Athanasi digs their fingers into her fur, gasping with delight when it’s as soft as they imagined. Burying their face in her ruff, Athanasi breathes, “So _soft.”_ They giggle as her head nudges them and a wet tongue licks along their face. Nuzzling the sweet creature Athanasi croons, “Thank you for trusting me.” They may not know what Dagger is but it’s clear to Athanasi that fur is a far more vulnerable coating than the spines Dagger had before. Retracting her spines is a true act of bravery; it’s not easy showing your soft side and trusting that you won’t get hurt. 

Come to think of it, that’s what the members of the keep have been doing with Athanasi, isn’t it? Athanasi has unwittingly exposed their vulnerable parts and instead of puffing out with spines, each person has bravely faced Athanasi and worked to listen to them. 

Oh dear, they can’t help it. Pulling away from Dagger regretfully, Athanasi shifts so they can wrap their arms around Geralt and squeeze him tight. “Thank you for teaching me to ride and groom a horse,” they whisper, grinning when Geralt snuffles against their neck. Moving to Yennefer, they draw her into a hug, beaming when it’s returned tentatively after a moment. “Thank you for not being mad and letting me wear your clothes and paints,” they say furtively. 

“Thank you for giving me a second chance little flower,” she responds in a whisper. 

Turning to Lambert and Aiden, they snuggle into Lambert’s chest and give him a tight hug. “Thank you for teaching me the best ways to stab people,” they chirp. 

It also takes a second before Lambert returns the hug, but when he does, his chest is vibrating with his quiet laughter. “I got a lot more I can teach ya, little viper.” Athanasi smiles into Lambert’s tunic. They like that everyone has names for them. It makes Athanasi feel like they belong. 

Finally, they turn to Aiden, who looks at Athanasi with wary eyes. They haven’t spoken to him since yesterday when Athanasi tried telling Aiden he was good. Athanasi will need to be giving Aiden plenty more hugs, they can tell. As they curl up into his waiting arms, Athanasi hums into Aiden’s embrace. “Thank you for listening to my perspective yesterday,” they say softly. 

Aiden’s arms squeeze around them. “Thank you for telling me what you see,” he rasps, burying his nose in the crook of Athanasi’s neck. 

When they eventually pull away, Athanasi feels warm all over, even though they didn’t feed. Grinning at all the wonderful people surrounding them, Athanasi settles into the pile of bodies and slips off to sleep. It feels nice to have a family. 

*******

Dagger rumbles contentedly from where her head is resting on cuddly one. Cuddly one gives many good pets and cuddles to Dagger and the two leggeds so Dagger decided to be brave. Pointy gentle one and pointy soft one and some of the other two leggeds are giving Dagger many pets. And pointy four legged is giving Dagger cuddles which makes Dagger happy. Dagger was scared when she first came to the big cold place and saw all the two leggeds with pointy things. But even though the two leggeds wave the pointy things around, they never wave them near Dagger. If they ever did, that’s okay because Dagger will go pointy again. And Dagger has pointy gentle one and pointy soft one now. They will keep Dagger safe. But Dagger is safe now she thinks. It is okay for Dagger to be small and soft because she is getting very nice cuddles and pets and pointy gentle one and pointy soft one are right next to her. They will never let anything bad happen to Dagger. They are pack. Dagger turns to lick pointy gentle one and pointy soft one eagerly and she gets more pets as she does. Rumbling happily, Dagger rests her head back on cuddly one. Dagger is very happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving forward, updates may start to slow down because work is starting up again full time. Once again, I would much rather be writing a fluffy fic about love, healing, and belonging but alas, I must adult. I will not be abandoning this fic, it just may take me slightly longer than I wish to update. Apologies in advance and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your continued support! <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athanasi can't help but feel some insecurity...they're a good person, right? Later, an unexpected guest arrives at Kaer Morhen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for being patient my dear readers! Updates will continue to be slow unfortunately but your enthusiasm and support continue to be incredible motivators and I thank you profusely <3

Athanasi bounces into the kitchen after breakfast as Marya and Coën trail behind them while Leon heads to the library with Kamil and Eskel. Marya and Coën invited Athanasi to watch them bake since their time got cut off a few days ago and Athanasi is so excited! 

“How are you settling in pup?” Marya asks, passing them to pull down various bowls and materials with practiced motions.

Athanasi turns in the room excitedly before sagging with disappointment. “Where is the pup?” They ask morosely. “I want to pet them.” 

Marya pauses what she’s doing before flashing Athanasi a smile. “When you get to my age, everyone is a pup.” 

Squinting, Athanasi studies Marya closely. “Your aura is quite old,” they observe. “But I do not understand. I am not a pup.” 

Marya barks out a laugh as she hands Coën several ingredients. “Hasn’t anyone told you it’s rude to mention a woman’s age?” She asks with a raised brow. 

Moving towards Coën to watch what he’s measuring and pouring in a bowl, Athanasi shakes their head. “No, that has not been one of Leon or Ewa’s lessons.” They become distracted by Coën‘s fluid movements, mesmerized with the various ingredients he throws together so swiftly. “What are you making?” They ask, craning to watch over Coën‘s massive shoulder. 

“Just biscuits,” Coën rumbles. 

“Our previous batch ran out sooner than expected after you offered some up to those three foolish pups,” Marya remarks, crossing her arms and leaning against a counter. Oh, right! Marya is a shifter so she must call people younger than her pups. And Athanasi is included! 

“Can I help since it’s my fault?" they ask, bouncing on their toes. "Ewa has been teaching me how to cook and she says I am getting better ‘cause I don’t burn everything anymore!” Athanasi announces proudly. 

Chuckling, Coën replies, “Cooking and baking are very different, noble one.” 

“Well maybe you can teach me how to bake then,” Athanasi suggests before a question pops in their head and they turn to look between their two companions. “Who taught _you_ how to bake?” 

Marya exchanges a look with Coën who looks slightly troubled from where he is stirring ingredients together. “No one taught me really,” Marya murmurs after a beat. “I learned from observing through windows and experimentation.” 

“You had no teacher?” Athanasi asks incredulously. They can’t imagine having to learn how to cook without a teacher. Even _with_ one it’s been hard. But Athanasi is determined to learn. 

Marya’s face grows shadowed as she prepares a sheet to ladle the batter onto. “I had no one period.” 

“What does that word mean? Period?” 

Marya and Coën exchange looks again, but Athanasi can’t catch what they’re saying to each other. They hate when people do that. Athanasi isn’t dumb, they sometimes just miss things. “Athanasi, do you know how to read or write?” Coën asks carefully. 

Athanasi scoffs, fiddling with the dress Yennefer let them borrow today. Yennefer is very nice, even if she tries to pretend that she’s not. “What use would a succubus have for such things as parchment and ink?” Cooing when the cat named Dandelion prowls into the kitchen, Athanasi plops on the floor to coax him over. Thankfully, it doesn’t take too much convincing before Dandelion is purring in Athanasi’s lap, to their utter delight. 

“So you’ve never had the interest to learn? Never seen or heard someone read and wanted to do the same?” Marya prods, wiping her hands and propping them on her hips. 

Frowning, Athanasi looks up from where they were watching Dandelion’s eyes slide shut. Reading and writing were never activities Athanasi thought too much about, more concerned with staying alive than learning a hobby they would never have a use for. But now they recall those occasional nights when Leon and Ewa would sit by the hearth and read silently to themselves. It does look like a peaceful activity. They had offered their books for Athanasi’s perusal but they politely declined, finding enjoyment in petting Alloy’s fur or watching the siblings’ auras entwine together instead. “I suppose it’s nice hearing Leon read out loud sometimes. The stories can be interesting,” they muse, tapping their bottom lip. Shrugging, they turn back to Marya. “How did we get to the topic of reading and writing?” 

Quirking a faint smile Marya explains, “You had been asking who taught me how to bake.” 

Perking up, Athanasi scoops Dandelion up and wanders to where the biscuits are finished being prepared. “Right!” 

Turning to busy herself with something out of Athanasi’s sight Marya murmurs, “I was an orphan. Had no family, had to forge and learn on my own.” 

“Like me,” Athanasi breathes, eyes wide and heart fluttering with excitement. Maybe Marya will understand what Athanasi has been struggling with. “Did you also not know that murder is bad? Leon says that the fact that I don’t understand that has to do with the fact that I had to survive on my own.” 

When Marya turns around, her eyes have faint traces of shadows but sparkle nonetheless. “No pup, I knew murder was bad. Even without a family, I had friends, acquaintances, that helped forge my moral compass.” Athanasi deflates slightly. It would’ve been nice to have someone like them. 

“And do you understand that now? The fact that murder is bad?” Coën prompts from behind them. 

Biting their lip and digging nervous fingers in Dandelion’s coat, Athanasi turns to Coën. “If I say not entirely will you kill me?” they ask, shrinking away timidly. 

As Coën's stoic mask falls to reveal a hint of concern, Marya sets a hand upon Athanasi’s shoulder. “No one will be harming you here pup,” she says firmly. 

Gazing into features so similar to those of the first person to welcome them here, Athanasi takes a shaky breath. “It doesn’t make sense!” They cry, moving to tug at their hair and temporarily forgetting about the lump of fur in their arms. As Dandelion smoothly lands on his feet and slinks away, Athanasi feels a trickle of guilt before it’s overrun with despair. Slumping, they place their face in their hands. “Leon has tried so hard to teach me with Ewa’s help but I still do not understand why it’s bad to kill and steal from people who are not nice and who have blood red in their auras,” they moan.

A second hand settles onto their other shoulder and Athanasi can’t stop themselves from feeding in their vulnerable state before they stumble back. “Sorry,” they say miserably, crossing their arms and rubbing their hands up and down them nervously. “Didn’t mean to feed.” Athanasi keeps their gaze fixed on the ground. All they hoped to do was watch Coën and Marya bake but now all they want to do is find Leon and cuddle next to him. The morning started off so happy but now Athanasi can’t stop that niggle of doubt that has been lingering in the back of their mind since their first day here. If Marya grew up with no one to raise her but still learned right from wrong, what does that say about Athanasi? They can’t even stop themselves from feeding from the people who are just trying to give them comfort! It’s true what people say; succubi are nothing but parasites. 

Athanasi doesn’t know how long they stand there feeling like they’re trapped in a cloud of misery before a cup is gently shoved into their hands. “Drink that and come sit,” Marya orders softly, nodding towards the main hearth. As Coën wipes his hands on a rag and strides towards it, Athanasi follows, stomach curled into knots. Is this it? Marya and Coën are nice though; maybe they’ll give Athanasi a head start before they try to kill them. Settling regally onto the rugs as though they were a throne, Marya opens up her arms. 

Athanasi freezes. Is she sayingー? 

Somehow Coën has ended up behind them and he nudges them slightly forward. “Marya gives good hugs,” he says as encouragement. Some of the knots in their stomach unravel in the face of potential hugs. Maybe they’ll let Athanasi stay here then. Or it is a goodbye hug. Athanasi hopes it's the first possibility. 

Being careful not to spill their drink, Athanasi lowers to the ground and tucks themself under Marya’s arm. “Drink your tea pup,” she commands, squeezing Athanasi gently. 

Athanasi studies the strange coloured liquid. “If I drink this will I get a hug?” they inquire. _And will I get to stay?_ They don’t add.

As Coën settles on Athanasi’s other side Marya releases a soft chuckle. “Sure pup, think of it as your reward.” 

Nodding, Athanasi attempts to chug the drink only to sputter in shock. “It’s _hot,”_ they protest with a betrayed glare. 

“I didn’t tell you to swallow it all down right away, you foolish child,” Marya chastises, cuffing Athanasi’s chin. Athanasi only grins hopefully. That’s the same tone she and Vesemir use whenever one of the witchers (usually Lambert) does something funny. That’s a good sign. 

Sipping at the tea, and feeling relieved now that it doesn’t scald their tongue, Athanasi can appreciate the subtle spices infused in it and the soothing aroma filling their nose. Breathing deeply, Athanasi releases a long sigh and sinks into the steady walls of warmth on either side of them. When Athanasi takes their final sip, they feel far more relaxed than they had been a few minutes ago, and happily snuggle into Marya’s side further. “Hug now?” they request. 

Chest rumbling, Marya brings her other arm around and pulls Athanasi into a tight hug. The succubus releases a happy sigh. They never would have imagined they would enjoy hugging without the added benefits of feeding but some days Athanasi likes it more. Because they are not obligated to hug if they are already fed and no one is required to hug them in order to get them to feed. Yet, two creatures will exchange hugs anyway, not for any particular purpose other than because they want to or because they love each other or because one of them needs comfort. Hugs are special. They may be one of Athanasi’s favourite things in the world. 

“Now, shall we talk about what happened in the kitchen?” Marya asks, drawing far enough away to lift Athanasi’s chin so she can peer into their eyes with a gently demanding expression. Some of the warmth Athanasi had been feeling seeps out of them and they slump defeatedly in Marya’s embrace. They just wanted a hug, not to talk. But if they don’t talk maybe the hug will stop and that’s worse. 

“I’m usually better at not feeding from people without meaning to but it just happened,” they whimper, trying to hide their face in Marya’s braided hair.

“It happened by accident when Yennefer read from you too, didn’t it?” Marya probes, stroking through Athanasi’s mop with a gentle hand. 

When Athanasi nods against her neck miserably, Marya hums. “When emotions are heightened it’s difficult to control your powers, no matter what they are,” she says gently 

“So you’re not mad at me?” they ask timidly. _So I can stay?_

“Of course not my pup.” The remaining tension that had been thrumming through Athanasi’s form uncoils and they sag further into Marya’s embrace.

“From what Leon tells us, you have been working hard to understand all he’s been teaching you. It’s okay if some things take time for you to comprehend. You must be patient with yourself, little bird,” Coën adds, gently bumping Athanasi’s shoulder with his own.

Athanasi shifts so they can peer at Coën. “Can you help?” they ask meekly. “Jaskier says you’re a Griffin and your School is all about nobility and chivalry. I bet you could teach me about morality.” 

Coën's smile is sad as he gazes softly at Athanasi. “Though this is true, my School did not teach me my values, my parents did.” 

“Like Leon’s!” Athanasi exclaims before clamping their mouth shut. Leon and Ewa don’t like discussing their parents with other people. Athanasi doesn’t know why. They would think you would want to brag about your parents all the time if they were as wonderful as Leon and Ewa’s were. Coën’s eyes widen minutely before inclining his head. “Are they who taught you how to bake too?” Athanasi asks, wiggling so they can look at Coën more fully. 

Another sorrowful smile crosses his face.”Aye, they did.” 

Humming, Athanasi leans out of Marya’s embrace so they can snuggle into Coën more. Though he stiffens at first, Coën almost immediately melts and welcomes Athanasi under his arm. “They must have been wonderful people then,” Athanasi notes. 

Coën’s arm tightens around them. “Aye. They were.” 

As Athanasi allows themself to luxuriate in the warmth and comfort of the two bodies supporting them, they can’t stop thinking about the exchanges in the kitchen. Is it really enough that Athanasi is _trying_ to understand morality? It seems like they’re the only one in the whole keep who seems to struggle with it and Athanasi is starting to worry that there is something very wrong with them. 

Maybe they’ll go search for Leon. He always has the right thing to say.

*******

After entrusting Athanasi to Coën and Marya’s care, and warning them to keep the succubus away from any sharp knives, Leon went to the library with Eskel and Kamil. Of everyone in the keep, it’s these two Leon misses the most during the year. Leon just...connects with them in a way he doesn’t with everyone else. His first year at the keep, it was Kamil and Eskel that gave him some sense of normalcy and a safe refuge to escape to when seeing Ewa and Ciri was too much. Not to mention, he never would’ve even met Athanasi if Kamil hadn’t helped Leon master a bow and then carved one for him as a gift. He owes these two men more than he can say. 

Piled together on the floor, Leon and Eskel have been gently coaching Kamil as the shifter swears his way through his first written letter. Now that he has a strong handle on reading, Kamil wants to learn how to write. “So we can swap letters with you during the year,” he explained, grinning up at Leon and making the blacksmith’s chest grow tight. 

Kamil hasn’t had too much success yet though.

“Why the fuck does _your_ “dear” actually look like the word “dear” while mine looks like a toddler attempted to draw a dog?” Kamil rants, throwing his hand and subsequently droplets of ink through the air as he does. 

Wincing at the splatter of ink falling on his cheek, Leon moves to wipe it off and pauses when he sees Athanasi standing in the doorway, beaming. “What are you grinning at?” Leon calls playfully, tugging at Kamil’s tunic to wipe his cheek despite the shifter’s squawks of protest. 

“Your auras. All three of them dance together so beautifully,” Athanasi sighs, clasping their hands over their heart. 

Pausing his tussling, Leon blushes and ducks his head. “Thought that only happens with people in a relationship,” he mumbles, glancing furtively at where Kamil and Eskel are watching Athanasi with mild curiosity. 

“There are many types of relationships Leon, you should know this,” Athanasi responds simply, floating down the library until they plop in front of the pile of men. Despite their grin though, Leon can’t help but notice upon closer observation that it’s not fully meeting their eyes. “Everyone’s auras entwine with each other at least slightly in this keep, some more than others. It just means you have a strong bond, but whether that’s familial or romantic or something in between is besides the point. It’s beautiful and something to be treasured either way.” As Athanasi finishes their explanation, Leon can only blink at them dumbly. Sometimes Leon forgets how profound Athanasi can be amidst their naïveté and general cheerfulness. 

Feeling a sudden urge to hold them tight, Leon tugs Athanasi closer so he can crowd them into his arms, grinning as they squeak. “What have you been up to, _en’ca minne?”_ he asks, nuzzling Athanasi’s throat. Watching Marya and Coën bake should’ve ended with them practically floating on air, not forcing themselves to smile.

Wiggling closer, Athanasi leans their head against the crook of Leon’s neck. “I got to watch Marya and Coën bake and then drank tea and got hugs and Coën promised to help you help me learn about morality,” they report out. 

Leon feels a confusing wash of guilt and relief at Athanasi’s update. He’s been trying so hard to get them to grasp the general morals that will keep Nasi from getting hanged but it has proven difficult when Leon’s own sense of morality has gotten skewed over the years. Hopefully Coën will provide a fresh perspective. 

“That’s kind of him to offer,” Leon murmurs in Athanasi’s ear, but he can tell he’s already lost the distractible succubus’ attention. 

“What are you working on Kamil?” they ask eagerly, leaning over Kamil’s shoulder. Athanasi hasn’t had too much interaction with Kamil outside of when he’s a fox and Leon knows that Athanasi has been itching to get to know him and Eskel more. 

“Trying to get my bloody hand to form some bloody words,” he growls, scowling at the smudged parchment. 

“That looks hard,” they observe, making Leon frown. Yes, it would look hard if you also don’t know how to write. 

Wait. 

“Athanasi, do you know how to write?” Leon asks with dawning horror. 

“Did Marya and Coën talk to you before I got here somehow? They seemed confused I don’t know how to read or write too,” Athanasi remarks casually, following Kamil’s shaky strokes with a rapt gaze. 

No. Leon racks his brain through the past months of their acquaintanceship, combing through all the evenings he and Ewa would read together. Athanasi always refused their offer of a book but now that he thinks about it the usually verbose succubus never said why. Guilt curls in his gut. “Fuck Nasi, I didn’t realise or I woulda offered to teach you,” Leon says raggedly. 

Athanasi tilts their head. “Why? How would reading and writing be useful for succubi?” 

Leon’s heart squeezes painfully as he strokes a thumb across Nasi’s cheek. This sweet creature is so unused to life's simple pleasures; it makes Leon want to give them every single joy in the world. But before he can respond, Kamil cuts in softly. “It’s not about use, it’s about want. It’s about the joy and power that can be felt when you stare at a page full of symbols and can decipher them into meaning.” 

Leon watches Athanasi study Kamil skeptically before releasing a long hum. “If you think it’s something I might like,” they say with uncertainty. 

“It’s not everyone’s thing but you should have the choice to decide whether you like it or not first,” Kamil says firmly. 

“Did you not have a choice to learn to write before now?” Athanasi asks, making Leon wince and Kamil flinch. Athanasi’s curiosity keeps laying everyone’s vulnerabilities bare at this keep. 

After an awkward beat during which Eskel squeezes Kamil’s hand, the shifter releases a shaky sigh. “My bastard of a father didn’t think it was a skill I had a right to learn,” Kamil says darkly, frame trembling as he clutches the quill until it snaps. As Kamil lowers his head with a sigh, Eskel draws the shifter into his arms while Leon strokes his knee gently. 

“Oh. Sorry if my question hurt,” Athanasi whispers, sounding small as they shrink away. 

Blinking emerald eyes in Athanasi’s direction, Kamil smiles dully. “It’s alright Athanasi. I’m sure you’ve realised by now that we all have dark pasts.” 

Athanasi nods rapidly, and Leon can feel how they actively restrain themselves from leaning towards Kamil as they do. “It makes it that more beautiful that you all remain with such pure auras despite the shadows that float through them,” they reply earnestly. 

“And shadows mean一” Eskel starts before shooting Athanasi a look of trepidation. 

“That you have suffered in the past,” Athanasi explains promptly. Leon watches with interest as Eskel rubs his scar absently. From what Leon has observed, Eskel tends to do that when he’s feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable. Right now, he can’t help but wonder if there’s a third reason. “Exactly, I’m sure however you gained that scar caused you pain,” Athanasi remarks in what Leon knows is an attempt to be helpful. He can’t help wincing again though and tugging them tighter to him as Eskel’s face closes off and he turns the side with the scar away from them. 

“People don’t like you calling attention to things like that Nasi,” Leon murmurs in their ear, feeling guilt surge through him when the succubus crumples. 

“Today is not a good day,” they whimper, burying their face into Leon’s shoulder. “I keep messing up!” Leon’s heart shatters as Athanasi curls up into themself. Despair seems to thrum off of them in waves and Leon feels himself start to panic. He’s hardly seen them like this before, so far from the cheerful succubus who took Kaer Morhen by storm. 

Leon rubs their back helplessly as his mind races. “What else has happened _en’ca minne?”_ he croons, stroking through their hair now as well in a desperate attempt to soothe Nasi. 

“I found out Marya grew up alone too but she could somehow learn morality when I couldn’t ‘cause I’m bad and then I accidentally fed from her and Coën and then I upset Kamil and then I upset Eskel and all I wanted to do was be their friend and make them happy!” Athanasi bursts out, gripping the back of Leon’s tunic tightly. Kamil and Eskel look stricken as Athanasi finishes with a sob but Leon is too busy scrambling to come up with some kind of reassurance to pay them any mind. “Were Marya and Coën angry at you for feeding?” he asks gently. If they were, Leon will give them a piece of his mind. 

“Well...no,” Athanasi sniffles, and Leon relaxes slightly. 

“Everyone’s upbringing is different my love. Even if you both had no one to actually raise you, there are still so many variables at play. You have the ability to read auras and feed from people but weren’t given any guidance towards the moral way of using such powers. I’m sorry you couldn’t find someone like you but you know we don’t think that makes you worse than her, right? And I’m sure Marya agrees,” Leon finishes breathlessly, hating how desperate he sounds. 

But Nasi remains silent. 

Heart thumping, Leon maneuvers himself so he can lift Athansi’s chin, but for once the succubus doesn’t seek out his eyes, keeping their own averted. “I’m a monster that people like Lambert and Geralt and Eskel hunt. And they’re good so that must mean that I’m bad,” Athanasi whispers. 

Leon stares with incomprehension at the love of his life, usually so full of joy and unbridled confidence now looking far too small. Where has this come from? “Has someone said something to you?” Leon rasps, anger he hasn’t felt recently boiling through his veins and replacing the overwhelming heartbreak he’s experiencing at how hopeless Athanasi sounds. But when Athanasi shrinks with a whine, Leon grits his teeth and forces his rage to simmer down. Nasi doesn’t need him angry right now.

“Talk to me love,” Leon begs instead, pressing their foreheads together and cradling Athanasi’s face. “What happened.”

“No one said anything since the first day but一” they shrug, head still bowed. “It’s been on my mind and what happened in the kitchen brought it up again.” Fuck, and here Leon thought Athanasi was starting to feel comfortable here. Clearly he doesn’t know Athanasi as well as he thinks. Or Leon was just blind, so ecstatic to be back in his second home and witnessing the various residents accept Athanasi that he didn't think. Of course the incidents on the first day affected Nasi more than Leon noticed; for once facing scorn and hate and distrust from strangers, however temporary, would mean something to them, because this is Leon’s family. 

“Witchers only hunt creatures who are intelligent once they prove themselves to be irredeemable and won’t stop murdering innocents,” Eskel murmurs, making Leon and Athanasi jolt and turn to him. Leon had forgotten they had an audience. Wrapping his arms around Nasi again as they tremble minutely, Leon shoots Eskel a grateful look. Hopefully the softest of the keep’s witchers will help Nasi see sense. “Though you may have killed, so have all of us, and from what Yennefer said none of your victims have been innocent. And from what I’ve witnessed over the past few days, precious one, you are more inclined to kindness and light than cruelty, which makes you one of the good ones to me,” Eskel finishes gently from where he’s rubbing up and down Kamil’s arms. 

Athanasi stares at Eskel wide-eyed for a long beat, their hand flexing open and closed. Eventually they lick their lips and whisper, “May I hug you Eskel? Leon taught me that hugs can be for comfort and just ‘cause and not just for feeding and right now I would like to hug you for comfort.” Eskel’s face breaks into a soft smile and, setting Kamil aside, the witcher stretches out his arms. With a sigh, Athanasi falls into Eskel’s waiting lap and draws him into a tight hug, Eskel’s arms wrapping around their waist and holding them secure. 

As he watches them with a tender expression, Kamil shifts so he’s pressed against Leon’s shoulder. Leon can’t stop himself from sagging as the shifter snakes an arm around his waist. “I’m glad that you are spending the winter with us Athanasi,” Kamil states gently. “Anyone who makes Leon as happy as you clearly do is good in my book.” 

“How have you written a book if you can’t write though?” is the muffled response. 

Kamil’s eyes widen before he breaks into tittering laughter, making Leon grin with relief. “It’s a figure of speech, sweet thing,” he explains fondly, emerald orbs twinkling. Turning their head so they can eye Kamil, Nasi says shyly, “I didn’t mean to kick you out of Eskel’s lap. Would you like a hug too?” 

Smile growing, Kamil wiggles forward until he’s wrapped an arm around Nasi and pressed to their side, Leon mirroring him on Nasi’s other side. “You’re a good person Nasi,” Leon says hoarsely. “And I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you if I have to.” 

“That seems like a boring way to spend your life. And I don’t think Ewa will appreciate having to do all the detailing work by herself if you quit being a blacksmith,” Athanasi points out. 

Leon feels a familiar rush of fondness flow through his chest as Nasi gazes up at him with those guileless eyes. “I suppose you’re right," he hums. "Then if you want to keep Ewa from pulling her hair out, you’ll just have to believe me when I say that you’re good,” Leon says with a raised brow. 

“Hm. And she actually has hair to pull out so that’s a real threat,” Athanasi nods seriously before snuggling into Eskel’s arms further with a soft sigh. Leon can’t help but notice that they don’t actually admit to believing him though. Fine then, Leon will just have to be more convincing. And he’s sure the rest of the residents of Kaer Morhen would be happy to help, considering the light Athanasi shines throughout the keep. “I would like to stay in this spot forever,” Athanasi announces after a long moment.

“You may be able to feed from hugs once you get hungry but the rest of us will have to move in order to eventually hunt down a physical meal,” Eskel says wryly. 

Humming in consideration, Athanasi shakes their head. “You are too good of a hugger Eskel. I am afraid I will have to keep you here forever,” they state solemnly, grinning all the while. 

They release a squeak and scramble their legs around Eskel’s waist as he rises. “Good thing I am far bigger and stronger than you,” Eskel says with a smirk before making his way out of the library as his load laughs with delight. 

“I will never have to walk again!” they crow. 

Leon watches the pair exit until Kamil blocks his view with a shit-eating grin. “What?” Leon says suspiciously. 

Unfolding onto his feet, Kamil shrugs. “Nothing. Sickeningly in love is a good look for you,” Kamil says with marked nonchalance as he strolls out of the room. 

Snorting Leon follows him with a roll of his eyes. “Like you have the right to talk.”

*******

Today was an exhausting day and all Athanasi wants to do is have a relaxing evening and cuddle in a big pile. All of Athanasi’s hopes are dashed however when a hulking figure crashes through the door and saunters into the dining hall. As one, every witcher rises with a sword or dagger and faces down the intruder. But before anyone can explain or attack, Jaskier shifts and launches at the figure with a savage snarl. Athanasi can only watch in terrified shock as the stranger and Jaskier fall to the floor and begin grappling for dominance. Jaskier looks like he’s trying to rip the man’s throat open. But why? That’s not like Jaskier at all; Athanasi thought he seemed so level-headed. 

Geralt and Aiden run forward, but not to attack as well, to Athanasi’s relief. “Jaskier, enter your room,” Aiden coaxes. Why is Aiden trying to send Jaskier to his room?

Hovering over the rolling bodies helplessly Geralt barks, “Don’t fucking touch him Letho, he needs a chance to come back to himself!” In a far more soothing voice he says, “Come back to me little lark, I know you can do it. What’s in your room?” 

Athanasi listens to the two witchers, perplexed. What room do they keep talking about? And how is it supposed to stop Jaskier from killing that man? Landing atop the stranger and being given the perfect opening to his neck, Jaskier halts when Geralt and Aiden continue to speak in soothing tones, blinking up at the two witchers with hazy eyes and a frozen snarl. Kneeling down, Geralt raises his hands. “That’s it little lark, come back to us. Picture your room.” Slowly, Jaskier’s body relaxes until with a whine, he clambers off of the stranger and licks Aiden’s neck frantically. Athanasi has seen him do that a lot since they met him. They wonder why. 

The stranger sits up slowly, trying to stem the bleeding from several different spots along his neck and torso. "Not the welcome I was expecting Geralt,” he remarks dryly in a gravelly voice. 

Wrapping his arms around Jaskier, Geralt shoots a glare at the newcomer. “What did you expect, Letho? You left me half-dead last year. Obviously my mate wouldn’t be happy with that.” 

“I thought that was water under the bridge,” Letho retorts, hissing as he moves and discovers another wound. 

Athanasi jolts from where they’re watching the two men interact when Vesemir and Marya walk up to them. “What do you see in his aura?” Vesemir asks. 

“Leon says that I shouldn’t tell other people about someone’s aura without their permission,” Athanasi says with uncertainty. 

But when they glance over to Leon, the half-elf looks solemn. “This is an exception Nasi.” When Athanasi opens their mouth to ask how Leon cuts in gently, “I’ll explain later, okay?” 

Nodding reluctantly, Athanasi turns to study the newcomer with trepidation. “It’s...complex,” they start slowly. “The amount of blood-red is concerning and yet-” they lean forward, trying to decipher the swirl of colours before them. “And yet there is an equal amount of shadows and sparks of lightning like Yennefer. And outlined with the red is a thread of green and brown.”

“What does all of that mean though?” Marya asks with a frown. 

Athanasi will never grow tired of talking and explaining auras. “Bloody auras means he has harmed the innocent and weak. The lightning indicates he has lost something dear and has tried to fill the hole ever since, doing anything to achieve it. And the green and brown means that he longs for stability, for healing, for belonging.” 

Marya and Vesemir haven’t taken their eyes off of Letho as he continues to verbally spar with Geralt and bleed on the floor. “So? What’s your consensus? Is he able to be redeemed? Or is it too late for him?” Vesemir asks, fingering his blade.

Athanasi frowns, tilting their head as they study the man. Despite his hulking mass he looks emaciated and his eyes look haunted, hunted. With the amount of blood in his aura Athanasi wouldn’t have hesitated draining him a few months ago, but with all of Leon’s lessons, they hesitate. Perhaps… “With the right supports and foundation, the green and brown could grow and begin to banish some of the red,” Athanasi says with some uncertainty. 

Vesemir and Marya trade a long look before, with a sigh, Marya begins stalking out of the hall. “With me kingslayer. I’ll patch you up.” Letho’s eyes widen with surprise as he watches her go. Then, with a final glance to Geralt, he stumbles after her.

An uncomfortable silence falls upon the room once they leave until Eskel breathes out a slow sigh. “Letho of Gulet. Fuck.” Athanasi has questions burning on the tip of their tongue but for once they bite it. Everyone looks lost in their thoughts and slightly disturbed. It makes Athanasi wonder if they gave the right answer. They hope they didn’t make a big mistake. 

In lieu of asking all the questions they wish to, Athanasi turns to where Jaskier is shaking in Geralt’s arms, still shifted. Hm. He looks like he could use a hug like Athanasi needed one on the first day they arrived. Perhaps Athanasi can thank Jaskier for his kindness by giving some in return. Plus, Athanasi would get more hugs which is always a bonus.

*******

“And that’s how I got a pair of nice shoes and a new scar,” Athanasi finished proudly. “Beat that!” 

“Oh that’s nothing. Try running across a roof while you are still pulling on your trousers and your witcher starts to ride out of town without you as ‘punishment for sticking your sausage in the wrong pantry!'” Jaskier smirks from where he’s braiding Athanasi’s hair in the pack room. Geralt and Leon trade bedraggled looks as they lean against their partners. This has been going on since Letho's arrival; Jaskier and Athanasi have been fighting over the non-existent award for wildest sex escapade and the stories have gotten crazier and more concerning with each passing moment. The fact that they’re both still alive is fairly miraculous. 

But Leon and Geralt aren’t about to stop them from having their fun, especially since it’s been an adequate distraction away from Letho arriving and Jaskier going out of control again. Geralt told the keep about his run ins with Letho the Kingslayer a few days ago but even _he_ seemed surprised to see the murderer show up. And while everyone was still processing the arrival of the Viper, Athanasi jumped into action, sidling up to Jaskier and offering up a hug. Everyone held their breath, half-prepared for Jaskier to flee like he did all last year. But though he shrunk away initially, Jaskier allowed Athanasi to touch him, showing how far he’s come in a few short months. It wasn’t long before they all gravitated to the pack room, wanting to curl up with each other and seek some solace and comfort. Athanasi came up with the competition they and Jaskier are currently engaged in, and Leon couldn’t be more proud. Gods, they’re so _good._ Leon should’ve realised a side-effect of working to understand morality and be confronted with their past would cause Athanasi to feel insecure about their own worth however. And now with this added complication...Athanasi is having a hard enough time understanding morality; living amongst a murderer like Letho isn’t going to do them any good. 

Then again, they’ve been living with one for months, haven’t they? Leon releases a sigh, digging his fingers in Dandelion’s fur. Winter just got a lot more interesting. 

*******

Dandelion purrs happily in fire one's littermate's lap. Fire one's littermate brought someone new this cold time and Dandelion likes cuddly one. Cuddly one gives nice pets. And wild one brought a new fluffy thing for Dandelion to play with and cuddle! That was very nice of wild one. Pointy fluffy one is very very nice and cuddly. And Dandelion can smell that there is someone new here too. Dandelion is sure whoever it is will be as nice as everyone else in the litter. Dandelion can tell that this will be the best cold time yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven’t touched on the war or the wild hunt or any of that shit and that’s because I choose not to have any of that live in this AU because it’s all too depressing and dramatic. However, in this AU Letho is still a kingslayer but let’s just say Geralt successfully intervened before it got too much out of hand but Letho still learned that his deal with the emperor was a sham and now he’s on the run so Geralt invited him to Kaer Morhen. And let's make the executive decision that there's no such thing as the Wild Hunt, yes?
> 
> Fire one's littermate: Leon  
> Cuddly one: Athanasi (I don't think I've used this name yet...)  
> Wild one: Lambert  
> Pointy Fluffy one: Dagger


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letho is confused. Just...very very confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad you're all excited to see Letho! Thank you Shruiken87 for the idea to bring him into this ‘verse :-)

Letho makes a note to ask for details next time an offer seems too good to be true. “Come to Kaer Morhen,” Geralt said. “It’s filled to the brim with people who look like they wanna kill you so you’re hopelessly outnumbered if we decide to turn on you,” he failed to say. 

Letho hisses as a woman stitches him up none too gently. “Careful, you’re dealing with some precious cargo,” he grumbles. The woman doesn’t respond, and just tugs harder. 

“What are your intentions Letho?” Vesemir asks, standing beside the woman like he’s ready to intervene if need be. What’s Letho gonna do? Stab the woman with the knives Vesemir took from him? Bloody git. 

“Geralt offered me refuge. Dunno if you heard, but I got a bounty on me,” he growls, gritting his teeth as the woman dabs stinging salve onto another wound. Fuck that wolf can bite. 

“Hm. And a nice price from what I heard,” the woman remarks casually, making Letho’s blood run cold. This was a mistake coming here. Fuck. When he tries to rise though, Letho is pressed back down by a surprisingly strong hand. Blue eyes far too similar to Jaskier’s spark with irritation. “Stay still you unruly pup,” she snaps before muttering under her breath. 

But Letho is hardly listening, too busy putting pieces together. “You’re Jaskier’s mother,” he determines, watching her as she stiffens. 

“Yes, and if you think Jaskier was brutal he has nothing on my centuries of experience,” she snarls, hands still deftly stitching up the several reminders of how powerful Jaskier truly is. Even before Geralt ordered him not to retaliate, Letho was struggling with getting the upper hand, surprised that Jaskier had so much strength hidden in that lean frame when he was a human. “Make one wrong move and it’ll be the last thing you’ll do,” the woman vows with dark promise, snipping off the extra string. 

“Y’know, I usually get to learn the names of the people who threaten me,” Letho muses with a challenging smirk, disguising the sense of unease shooting through him. 

“Hm. Marya,” she grunts, stepping back and crossing her arms.

“Well Marya, anything to eat in this godsforsaken keep? Being threatened always makes me hungry,” he says in a lazy drawl, watching as her lips purse with irritation. 

“Let’s see what’s remaining from dinner,” Vesemir grunts, leading them out of the infirmary. 

As they walk, Vesemir and Marya flank Letho, to his utter irritation. “I do remember how to get back to the hall,” Letho grumbles. 

“Sorry if we fail to trust you kingslayer,” Marya growls, shooting him a withering glare. And now Letho understands where Jaskier got his figurative bite. Damn.

“So, what? I’m getting an escort during my entire stay?” Letho snaps impatiently, growling when he receives no response. 

He notes with simmering curiosity that the keep feels empty, quiet as they walk through the halls and into the dining hall. “What, all the baby witchers already tucked into bed?” Letho remarks with dripping sarcasm. Marya and Vesemir trade an unreadable look before Vesemir enters the kitchen to dig around it, making Letho snarl. He hates being ignored. What the fuck is with these silent glances anyway? They've been trading them since Letho got here. 

Fortunately Vesemir scrounges up some stew, and graciously fails to warm it up. What a marvelously accommodating host. Letho stubbornly eats it as is; he’s had far less pleasant meals in his life. Besides, even cold it’s one of the most delicious things he’s eaten. 

In no time he’s sucked it all down, hardly breathing between spoonfuls. He wasn’t lying, he was hungry. Hiking up the killer without a Wolf as a guide later in winter than advised would do that. Marya and Vesemir remain silent during Letho’s meal, sitting beside each other and piercing Letho with far too assessing of a gaze. 

Belching, Letho shoves the empty bowl away and leans back in his chair, crossing his ankles. “Thanks,” he acknowledges with a nod. 

He’s about to ask where he can lodge when Marya leans forward, eyes glinting with a fierce light. “Let me make something clear to you kingslayer,” she growls. “The only reason you are still alive is because one of our keep’s members was able to vouch for you.” 

“Geralt’s a stand up guy,” Letho says with a roll of his eyes, swallowing the disorientation at hearing how close his life nearly ended. Sure, his life has been fucking miserable but Letho would still like to be in it thank you very much. 

“No. Not Geralt.” 

Letho frowns and tilts his head. Who else could have spoken for him? Of course, Letho was busy being mauled by a rabid wolf but he didn’t spot anyone who looked ready to defend him. Didn’t recognise most people at the table in fact. Which reminds him, who the fuck were all of those bastards? Since when was Kaer Morhen so full? Shaking his head Letho demands, “Well, who then?” 

Marya and Vesemir swap another look, making Letho’s hackles rise. “You’ll meet them soon enough,” Vesemir rumbles. Right, not cryptic at all. 

“And if you say or do anything to hurt them or any of my pups, I will tear out your throat,” Marya snarls, rising to her feet to plant her hands on the table and lean over it as she bares all her teeth. Letho watches with interest as Vesemir clasps her shoulder and some of Marya’s fury seems to dissipate until she draws back slightly. Huh. Letho narrows his eyes and looks between them both with a more assessing gaze, noting how close they stand to each other, at how Vesemir’s hand hasn’t moved its position and how Marya’s fingers have started playing idly with his hair. 

No. Has Vesemir gone soft too? And here he thought it was strange enough seeing how whipped the oh so great White Wolf is. Next they’ll say that Lambert is in love. Letho may not have visited here for a coupla decades but he hasn’t forgotten how prickly that bastard is. Letho laughs to himself at the image of a love-struck Lambert while he keeps his expression blank. Something tells him that grinning right now wouldn’t end well for him. 

“Before we show you to your quarters there's one thing we want to emphasise,” Vesemir announces, sitting back down. Letho gestures lazily for him to go on, imagining that more threats are headed this way. “We have various creatures of the two and four-legged variety here,” Vesemir says, clasping his hands over his stomach and leaning back. “They are utterly benign unless you threaten them.” Vesemir’s lips curve up in the shadow of a smile and fuck if that’s not unsettling. “Trust me, you’ll regret it if you do.” 

Well. That’s not ominous at all. Letho has half a mind to fuck outta here before he missteps and gets his throat slit. But with a bounty so recently placed on his head, it’s not like Letho is any safer out there. And being near witchers, even if they’re not of his School and also distrustful of him, settles something within Letho. He feels his worn, frozen heart ache as his thoughts darken. All he fucking wanted. All he fucking wanted was to get his family back. And then that whoreson Emhyr double crossed him. If Letho is ever given the chance he will derive every pleasure out of choking the life out of that bastard, even if he’s immediately cut down afterwards. 

Well, one can dream.

Feeling the driving need to stab something, Letho rises. “Don’t worry, I won’t touch your precious friends,” Letho sneers. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to rest. I’m tired from the road.” Nodding, Marya and Vesemir walk Letho through the keep, but the Viper hesitates at a closed door, ears pricking and nose twitching at the variety of heartbeats and scents emanating through it. “What do you guys have going on, a fuckin’ orgy?” he asks amusedly, even though it doesn’t smell like sex. 

Marya’s expression darkens and Letho yelps as she grabs his ear and drags him past the door. “None of your damn business kingslayer,” she growls. Letho is too shocked to protest the rough treatment. She’s treating him like...like he’s some _unruly child!_ The rest of the walk is a blur as Letho follows her obediently for lack of a better response, feeling like he’s in a daze. “Here,” she says shortly at the end of a dusty hallway, releasing her grip on his ear. Letho rubs it, glaring at her mulishly but Marya pays him no heed, opening the door and brushing away cobwebs. 

Letho’s glare turns into a glower when he sees the state of the room. It looks like it hasn’t been touched in decades, covered in dust and cobwebs with the scent of mold infusing the crooked bed and sagging chair. Even the hearth looks ready to collapse. “A room fit for a king,” Letho says sarcastically, stomping through the door. 

“Or for a kingslayer,” Marya retorts. Letho disguises his flinch. Yeah, he stepped into that one. 

“Get some rest. Don’t try anything. We’ll see you on the morrow,” Vesemir states, before firmly shutting the door. Letho turns in a circle before throwing his meager belongings onto the ground with a sigh. Well. Home sweet home. 

*******

Athanasi is very excited, if not a little nervous, about meeting someone new with such a complicated aura. They can't help being terribly curious too with how people reacted to the newcomer last eve. This morning, everyone is gathered around for breakfast but no one is willing to sit next to Letho except for Geralt. When Athanasi tried to, Leon pulled them back sharply to their disappointment. Athanasi doesn’t like this though. Everyone is so quiet when usually breakfast is filled with chatter and laughter. Instead, it’s filled with scowls and glares shot towards Letho. The witcher in question seems to be ignoring all the looks though, head down as he eats his meal. 

“You’re staring,” Leon murmurs in Athanasi’s ear. 

“He just looks sad having no one willing to sit near him or talk to him,” Athanasi responds with a frown. It wasn’t too long ago that they were greeted with a similar mix of suspicion and distrust, if not outright hate. They don’t want this Letho to experience the same, even if the tales Leon relayed to them last night sent shudders down their spine. But they see Letho's aura and they remember Leon's lessons; it's not too late for redemption. 

“Trust me, bastards like him don’t feel emotions like sorrow,” Lambert sneers, crossing his arms with a glower. Athanasi can’t help but notice how Letho’s grip on his spoon handle tightens, though he continues to keep his head bowed. 

“Yes he does Lambert,” Athanasi says, turning to him with a frown before biting their lip. They haven’t forgotten Leon’s lesson about not talking about people’s auras without permission. 

“And how would you一” Lambert starts before clamping his mouth shut and straightening. Athanasi swirls their hand through the air with a nod. 

They notice with a start that everyone is staring at them, including Letho. Athanasi smiles weakly at the hulking mass of a man but he just frowns. “What are you then?” he rumbles, nodding toward Athanasi. Leon wraps a protective arm around Athanasi and tugs them closer, shooting the witcher a venomous glare. 

“I’m a succubus,” they pipe up. “Part of my powers is seeing auras.”

Letho barks out a laugh rough like broken cobblestones. He casts a lazy gaze over the other residents. “What, you all have your own personal sex toy here then to keep ya warm?” he sneers. 

Weapons appear in nearly everyone’s hand, leaving Athanasi to blink in surprise. “Insult them again, I dare you,” Lambert says pleasantly with a bloodthirsty grin, golden eyes flashing with brutal promise. 

Letho turns to study Athanasi with a cock of his head. “You got ‘em all ensorcelled, huh? Wrapped around your finger?” Letho’s eyes bulge and his hands scrabble for his throat a moment later as Yennefer stands and casts her hand out.

Athanasi jumps up with panic. “Leon taught me that murder is bad unless it’s in self-defence though!” they exclaim, hurrying over to Letho despite Leon’s shouts of protest. Turning to Yennefer with wide panicked eyes they beg, “Please, release him! He doesn’t know better, just like none of you did when I first arrived.” A flash of guilt shoots across Yennefer’s face and she hesitates for a long moment before lowering her hands with a growl. 

Letho collapses to the floor, coughing and hanging his head as he gasps for breath. Kneeling down beside him, Athanasi touches his arm tentatively. “Are you一” but Athanasi’s question gets choked off as a shaky hand wraps around their throat. 

“You may have made them all as your bloody puppets but I’ll be damned before you make me one too,” Letho snarls, rising to his full height and dragging Athanasi up with him. Feet kicking fruitlessly through the air, Athanasi scrabbles for the dagger hanging from their hip before shoving it through one of Letho’s healing wounds. 

As Letho doubles over with a hiss of pain, he releases Athanasi and they scramble backwards before being swept up in Leon’s arms. “Oh fuck Nasi are you alright?” Leon asks frantically, turning Athanasi so they are face to face. Leon’s eyes are wild with fright and Athanasi presses their foreheads together to reassure them both. 

“Yes I’m okay,” they rasp, though their whole body shakes as they speak and find themselves still gasping for breath.

Hearing a grunt of pain, Athanasi spins around only to find Letho on his knees with a dagger to his throat and his arms restrained behind him by two irate witchers. “What did I warn you about kingslayer?” Marya hisses. 

But before she can slit his throat Athanasi launches themself out of Leon’s arms. “WAIT!” they shout. Once again, all eyes turn to them, including Letho’s resigned ones. “Please, don’t kill him,” they plead, clasping their hands together. “Give me a chance to reason with him.”

Several jaws drop open, and Athanasi ignores Leon’s croaked, “Nasi, what the fuck?” as he tries to tug them back down.

Stealing themself, they face Letho a safe distance away this time. “These are my friends. Succubi can only ensorcel people to loosen their inhibitions and go through with something they would already be willing to do. It would be impossible for me to ensorcel a keep full of witchers, half-elves, shifters, and a powerful sorceress to do my bidding. They are attacking you because they care about me. If you give us a chance, maybe they can care about you too. 

“I would like to be your friend. I can see in your aura that you wish for connection, to fill the hole of what you have lost. Perhaps we can help with that? And if you don’t understand why murder is bad, Leon and Coën can help you like they are helping me!” Athanasi finishes their speech with a bite of their lip, fiddling with their pendant nervously. Letho just stares at them with wide eyes as Athanasi’s knife continues to sit in his gut and another presses to his throat. “May I have my dagger back please?” they blurt out, pointing to their dagger. “I have a lesson with Lambert later today.” 

Athanasi startles as Letho releases a rasping chuckle before he winces as the movement irritates his wound and causes Marya's blade to dig deeper into his neck. He sobers quickly and tilts his head, staring at Athanasi before shaking his head slowly. “You’re an odd one, huh?” he remarks with the raise of a brow. 

“Thank you!” Athanasi chirps, bouncing on the balls of their feet before releasing an "oomph" as they are tugged down more insistently by a very terrified half-elf. Not that they're complaining. Being wrapped up in Leon's arms is Athanasi's favourite place to be. 

Marya frowns as she looks between where Vesemir hovers beside her and Athanasi curls against Leon. “We can’t trust him,” she announces. “He’s too volatile, too dangerous.” 

Setting their jaw, Athanasi reluctantly rises again, their stubborn love rising with them and continuing to hold them to his chest. “No. You asked me last night what I saw and I stand by that,” they say firmly, before pointing at Letho. “He has gone through loss and yes he is blood-soaked but I see what he longs for the most. If you give people a chance and the tools to be redeemed they can do better.” _Like I can,_ they think to themselves with a shaky breath, recalling yesterday’s conversations. 

“He can’t be trusted Athanasi,” Eskel protests from where he’s helping restrain Letho. 

“Then keep an eye on him!” Athanasi exclaims with exasperation, throwing up their hands. “There’s more of us than him.” 

“Why the fuck do you care whether I live or die?” Letho cuts in, his gaze burning. “You owe me less than nothing.” 

Athanasi clutches their pendant and closes their eyes, taking slow breaths as the countless deaths they have had a hand in flash before them. “Because I know what it’s like being given a second chance," they whisper, flickering their eyes open once again. "Everyone deserves to start over.” Athanasi shrugs. “A few months ago I wouldn’t have hesitated seducing you and draining you dry because of the blood on your hands. But now I know that murder is bad and that people can learn to be better and I know what it’s like to have a family and belong and having a family makes me want to be a better person. Maybe it will do the same for you,” they add simply. 

Letho works his jaw for a long moment before bowing his head forward, despite how that makes Marya’s dagger dig into his neck further. “I’ve done terrible things out of desperation to regain a home and family long gone, convinced myself the end goal was worth the blood I soaked in. But it was all for nothing,” he spits, sagging and shaking his head. “I’m not asking you to trust me, fuck knows I hardly know and trust all of you. But if you grant me safe refuge I swear I won’t do any harm.” He turns to look at Vesemir and Marya despite how that makes his neck bleed sluggishly. “And I mean it this time.” 

Marya and Vesemir trade one of those silent looks they do so frequently before Marya sighs. “Next time I won’t hesitate,” she hisses, digging her dagger slightly deeper before drawing away. “You can clean up your wounds yourself.” With a nod, Letho pulls Athanasi's dagger out of his gut with a pained wince and offers it up to them. But before they can approach him Geralt snatches it from Letho’s grip as Eskel and Lambert shove him away. With a nod, Letho slinks out of the hall before, for the third time in one morning, everyone turns to stare at Athanasi. 

They release an “Eep!” when they suddenly find themselves surrounded on all sides, Ciri and Ewa plowing into them followed by Lambert, Aiden, and Jaskier. “Don’t scare us like that Nasi!” Ewa exclaims. 

“That was some good knife work little viper,” Lambert praises, nosing at Athanasi’s neck. 

“Fuck Nasi you terrified me,” Ciri whispers, gripping them tight. Everyone else huddles around the inner circle, expressions grim and eyes filled with worry. Athanasi feels their chest grow all warm as they gaze in shock at all the people who care about them. 

Oh. They have a family. Athanasi soaks up the surrounding warmth and mingling auras and murmuring voices before furrowing their brow. They haven’t heard Leon speak yet, they realise. The blacksmith is gripping Athanasi almost tight enough to be painful, his face buried in the part of their neck not being scented or nuzzled by the various witchers and shifters crowding in. 

“Leon?” Athanasi prompts timidly, shifting to study him warily. Lifting his head, Leon stares at Athanasi with glazed eyes, mouth opening and shutting soundlessly. Oh. “I’m sorry if I scared you Leon,” they whisper. Instead of responding, Leon buries his face back in Athanasi’s neck. Their lingering nerves fading as everyone in the keep comforts and seeks out comfort in turn, Athanasi pours their attention into Leon, crooning in his ear and stroking down his back. “I’m alright, see? You taught me well.” 

“How can you vouch for him when he nearly killed you?” Leon eventually rasps, his lips tickling Athanasi’s neck. 

The succubus simply hums, trying to gather their thoughts. “You saw me do all sorts of bad things but you still vouch for me,” they eventually say with a shrug. “Besides, it’s not like he’s the first person to try to kill me.” 

By Leon’s pained groan, Athanasi has a feeling that wasn’t as reassuring as they hoped it would be. “I’m not letting go of you for the rest of the winter,” Leon mumbles. 

“Hm. That could prove complicated when I’m training with Lambert or riding with Geralt or you need to work on a commission,” Athanasi points out reasonably, making Leon growl. 

“Change of plans. This morning we’re having a cuddle session,” Lambert announces, and by the relieved sighs, that seems to be the right thing to say. Well, they won’t see Athanasi complaining. 

*******

Letho is still reeling from the events of this morning, trying to wrap his mind around what the succubus did. It’s not every day someone defends you after you attempt to kill them. But he’s soon distracted by witnessing things that are somehow more flabbergasting. 

When he returns from downing a potion and restitching his wound, Letho finds himself face to face with a giant snarling beast with spines that look sharp as his sword. Letho itches for a weapon, cursing Vesemir once again for confiscating all of them. “What a good girl Dagger,” Lambert croons, actually fucking _croons,_ walking up to the beast and patting it on the spines despite how it makes his hand bleed. 

“What the fuck is that?” Letho hisses, clenching his fist to stop his fingers from twitching. 

“ _She_ is named Dagger and I’ll have no qualms with allowing her to rip you apart if you step one pinky toe outta line,” Lambert says pleasantly, smiling with far too many teeth. “You touch _anyoneー_ witcher, half-elf, shifter, animal, or Daggerー” and I will carve you out with my favourite knives.”

Letho shakes his head. “What’s this keep come to, a refuge for monsters and beasts?” he sneers, flinching minutely when two giant wolves and a slinking fox flank Lambert and the beast with rumbling growls. 

Lambert’s grin grows impossibly larger. “I’d watch your tongue if you don’t want it cut out,” he remarks blandly, checking his nails with pointed nonchalance. Letho swallows. It's not like he was expecting a warm welcome; Letho assumed that Geralt or Jaskier would relay what happened between them this past year. He just wasn't expecting to step into a den full of witchers and shifters as protective as their name sakes and ancestors. Makes Letho ache for when he had that, had people who would cut down anyone to protect him, when he would do the same. 

“Having fun threatening the Viper, kitten?” the Cat witcher purrs, coming up beside Lambert and throwing an arm possessively around Lambert’s shoulder. And since when did the Wolves fraternize with Cats? So much for a moral high ground. Cats are notorious assassins; what makes _him_ accepted here more than Letho? Cold amber eyes pin Letho in place, and he finds himself swallowing. There is something simmering beneath those eyes, something unhinged. The rumours must be true then, about the madness of Cats. Which begs the question further: why the _fuck_ would the Wolf witchers allow him to stay here?

Lambert’s shoulders inexplicably relax slightly before he crosses his arms with a huff as the Cat squeezes his arm. “Why, do you want a turn at issuing some threats?” 

A predatory smile crosses the Cat’s face. “I’m sure you’re doing an adequate job, love.” _Love??_ Letho’s eyes narrow as he takes in their posture, how Lambert has turned slightly toward the Cat and presses against him subtly. At how the Cat tightens his arm around Lambert in response and draws him impossibly closer. 

It can’t be.

“Adequate job my ass, dickhead,” Lambert grumbles before crouching down to peer into the beast’s red glowing eyes. “Wanna go play with your friends Dagger?” he croons. Actually _croons_ as he pets her spikes like they’re fur. What the fuck? Has Lambert gone soft?

A spiked tail begins to wag, which is a disconcerting sight on such a beast. After turning to growl at Letho one more time, a growl he feels through his bones, the beastーDagger? Bounds away, the wolves and foxes following in itsーherー stead. Which leaves Lambert and Aiden to glare at Letho for another long moment before turning away perfectly in sync, pressed together at the hip. 

What the fuck. In all his years Letho has never witnessed Lambert act so… _soft._ Sure, he threatened Letho but then he turned around and treated that creature like it was something precious. Not to mention… _love??_ That Cat calls him love and all Lambert does is call him a dickhead? That can’t mean...Letho shakes his head. No. There’s no way… _is there?_

The rest of the day Letho decides to step back and simply observe. And what he witnesses baffles him only more. Kaer Morhen has drastically changed in the decades Letho was here last. It seems...brighter, warmer somehow. Sure, the walls are crumbling as usual, yet there is something in the air beneath the tension caused by Letho’s presence. And there’s _laughter._ Laughter as they spar before the sparring sessions devolve into wrestling matches, without Vesemir whooping their asses as punishment for fooling around. Laughter as they work on the walls, hefting up stones and materials that should be monotonous and miserable work. Laughter as Lambert… _juggles knives?_

At one point of the day Letho strays away from watching everyone in order to clear his head from the flabbergasting interactions he keeps witnessing. Since when do witchers experience so much glee? Even Geralt, the grump, was grinning as he tussled with Lambert and Jaskier before shifting. (And since when was Geralt a shifter??) Shaking his head, Letho wanders further away from the sounds of joy, a sound foreign to him at this point of his life, and follows the sound of pounding metal, wondering where it’s coming from. It sounds like what he would hear in a blacksmith’s but any blacksmith was killed when Kaer Morhen was sacked. As he draws closer to a stone building that looks in better shape than most of the keep, Letho squints, noting the smoke flowing through the roof. Certainly looks like a smithy though. 

Then he hears it again. Laughter. When Letho reaches the doorway he pauses to take in the scene. Athanasi is there, fawning over something that a man as tall as Letho is working on. He recalls distantly that that was the man who held the succubus after Letho attacked them. But they’re not the only ones there. Geralt’s child surprise is dancing and singing with a woman who has the same dark skin and pointed ears as the man. Related, possibly? Both of them are laughing as Ciri spins the woman and tilts her back. Ciri balks and draws the woman up rapidly however when she spots Letho in the doorway. “What are you doing here?” she hisses, wrapping her arms protectively around the woman. 

Letho raises his hands lazily in a show of peace. “Just following the clanging,” he rumbles, flicking his gaze towards the succubus who is peering at him with curious eyes from behind the man now shielding them.

“So. We got a blacksmith at this old keep now?” he enquires.

“Black _smiths,”_ Ciri corrects him, tightening her grip on the other woman. 

Interesting. Female blacksmiths aren't always a common occurrence. Humming, Letho takes a step into the forge only to find a dagger to his throat. The woman, who upon closer inspection has far too many similar features with the man, including matching golden bands on their wrists, for them to be anything but related, presses the dagger into his skin until he bleeds, the familiar scent of blood filling his nose as it trickles sluggishly down his neck. He sighs. Again? “You have not been invited into this place,” she growls. 

Letho raises a brow. “I didn’t realise I needed an invitation,” Letho answers in a drawl, casting a lazy gaze at the assembled figures staring at him with a range of emotions from belligerent to curious. “Will daggers to my throat become a regular occurrence? I just want to know whether I should buy a collar or not.” 

“Your aura doesn’t indicate that you are interested in submission so I wouldn’t recommend that,” the succubus muses, making the woman and Letho balk. 

The man facepalms. “Nasi, what have we said?” he grits out. 

“I just didn’t want him to be uncomfortable!” the succubus protests, gazing up at the man with a frown. Letho just gawks at them. How did a joke about wearing a collar lead into a comment about Letho’s _sexual preferences?_

“How the fuck do you know I’m not into that?” he demands, stiffening when the dagger digs into his skin further. He can feel a steady flow of blood down his neck now and grits his teeth in irritation. 

“I mentioned I can see auras, right?” they ask, inching around their guard dog despite his protests. “If we need to feed on sexual energy it helps to know people’s preferences in the bedroom.” 

Letho swallows, feeling exposed. “So should I be expecting you knocking on my door tonight?” he says with a leer in an attempt to cover his sudden vulnerability. 

Athanasi tilts their head. “Why would I knock on your door?” 

Letho blinks, opening his mouth before shutting it. “So we can fuck.” 

The succubus shrinks away and the man presses them back against his chest with a warning growl. “No thank you!” Athanasi squeaks as the man stares at Letho with a venomous glare. 

“You don’t touch them again,” he hisses. 

“Ah, I see. Wanna keep them to yourself, do you? They that good in bed?” he smirks before flinching as the woman presses even harder against his neck. 

“Athanasi feeds off of physical affection, not sex. If you proposition them again or try _anything_ I will fucking geld you,” she snaps, amber eyes flashing as her mouth twists into a snarl. Letho has absolutely no doubt that she would follow through with her threat. Which still makes no sense. If no one is ensorcelled here why the fuck are they so protective of a creature witchers have to hunt? And hold on a secondーa succubus who feeds on _physical affection?_ He's never heard of such a thing. 

"Physical affection?" Letho repeats dryly with a raised brow. "You buy that?" 

"You of all people should know that creatures can have a wide variety of sexual and romantic preferences," Athanasi says quietly, emerald eyes piercing. "Must I be so different just because of my origin?" Letho stiffens, staring at a pair of far too knowing eyes. If they can see auras then...well, fuck. For once speechless, Letho simply nods stiffly despite how that makes the blade dig deeper into his neck and more blood begin to gush from his wound. 

“Ewa, please stop hurting him, he hasn’t done anything wrong!” the succubus adds with rejuvenated frustration, fighting the man’s grip in an attempt to get closer to Letho despite the clear precedent indicating why that’s a dumb idea. 

“He tried killing you Nasi!” the man protests. 

Athanasi waves their hand away carelessly, relaxing back into his arms. “So? It’s not like that makes him _special.”_ Letho finds he can’t hold back his amused snort. The succubus sounds so haughty when they say that and now he’s itching to know what they’ve gone through to sound so blasé about death. 

The womanーEwaーsomehow strengthens her glare at Letho before taking a careful step back, her knife still brandished. Reaching for the counter, she tosses a rag at his face. “I expect to have that returned to me, cleaned, by tomorrow,” she barks. Nodding, Letho spins on his heels and retreats without another word. Damn where did this keep find so many powerful broads? Colour him impressed. As he wanders back to the main courtyard, pressing a rag to his neck, Letho can’t help but wonder how many more times he’ll be threatened during his stay though. It’s growing tiresome. 

*******

“What did you mean in the morning when you talked about your family?” 

Letho jolts up from where he was inventorying his supplies, eyes widening in surprise at his visitor. “Gave the slip to your guard dogs?” he sniffs, turning back to his work. 

“I do not have dogs. Though I suppose Dagger is a dog sometimes but she is Lambert and Aiden’s,” the succubus hums. Letho looks up at them incredulously only to see a guileless expression returned to him. Who the fuck is this creature? “May I enter?” they ask, bouncing on their toes and biting their lip. When Letho gives a shrug and a grunt, the succubus takes that as permission and walks into Letho's depressing room before sitting delicately beside him on the chipped floor. “So? What did you mean? When you talked about losing your family?” 

Letho swallows, the familiar surge of grief rising up like bile in his mouth. Breathing through it, Letho places his potion vial down, once again longing for a blade to at least sharpen to keep his hands busy. “I’m part of the Viper School. Only member left,” he rasps. Letho closes his eyes, images flashing through his mind. His brethren laughing at a bawdy joke, thumping each other on the back after a satisfying spar, huddled together during brutal storms and after a rough year or just _because._

Viper is a misnomer; makes it sound like all they did was snap at anyone who came near. They were more like garter snakes. One year long after all his brothers had been killed, Letho stumbled upon a den of the snakes in the dead of winter, all curled up and wound together as they hibernated. That’s what his winters used to be like. When his family was still alive, no one slept alone. Sure, sometimes it was sexual but more often than not they curled together to stay warm, literally and figuratively. 

Letho has never spent a night with someone during the winters since he lost his world. And he’s finally lived up to his School name; snapping and striking at anyone near, classifying everyone as either prey or threat. It’s how he’s survived. At least, as much as the apathy and grief clouding his days can be counted as survival. 

Letho flinches as a hand touches his, reflexively gripping the limb with a snarl. When he looks up however, Letho stares into a pair of soulful, empathetic eyes. Wincing, Letho releases the succubus’ hand, scooting away from them to create some space. “Think you can omit that little slip up when you report back to all your guards about how I treated you?” he asks weakly. "The daggers to my throat are getting old." 

Instead of responding, Athanasi tilts their head. “You are very sad and lonely. Would you like a hug?” 

Letho blinks. “What?” 

“You knowー” they mime the gestureー ”A hug! Leon taught me that you can give hugs to comfort people, not just to feed, and you look like you could use some comfort.” Fuck. Letho racks his brain for the last time someone touched him other than out of violence or the furtive, frightened brushes of limbs during sex. Fuck. Not since that final farewell to his brothers before he set on the Path once again, having no clue how his world would soon shatter. 

Hardly believing what he’s doing, Letho gives a curt nod, flailing when the succubus launches themself across the space Letho created and squeezing him with surprising strength. “I’m sorry you lost your family. My family exiled me but I found a new family with Leon and Ewa and Ciri and everyone at the keep. Perhaps we can be your family too,” they say earnestly. Letho bows his head until it presses against Athanasi’s shoulder. Yeah right. Like anyone at this keep would trust him enough to show him any gesture of affection. Other than this peculiar creature apparently. (Letho can't help but notice that he's not feeling drained. How does this feeding from physical affection thing work then?) Breathing in the sweet scent of honeysuckle, Letho wraps his arms around the tiny creature, returning the embrace softly. “You are a gentle hugger for such a big man,” Athanasi observes.

Letho huffs out a laugh. “Don’t wanna squeeze the life outta ya, do I?” He winces, recalling what he attempted to do just this morning. Clearing his throat he adds awkwardly, “Well, not anymore.”

Lips curve up from where they are pressed against Letho’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, almost everyone at this keep threatened me when they met me too.” Letho frowns. He would never have expected that considering how protective they all seem around this creature. Curiosity getting the better of him Letho blurts out, “What changed?” Swallowing, he clarifies, “What has caused them to care for you so much they would kill me?”

“Well, in their defence part of that is because they don’t like you or trust you in general because of things you did that Leon told me about,” Athanasi says frankly. “The blood in your aura makes a lot more sense now. But I guessー” they shrug. “All I wish is to have some place to belong. But my newest goal is to give hugs to everyone and show them how good they are.” That smile widens. “Perks of being able to see people’s auras, you see.” Gentle hands begin to stroke up and down Letho's back and he can't hold back a desperate shudder at the simple gesture. “You all have suffered too much. All I want is for everyone to be happy and I suppose they realise that. And I meant what I said.” Athanasi draws back and Letho has to bite down on a whimper at losing that tender touch. A finger traces down Letho’s cheek. “You have done bad things but I see you, Letho of Gulet.” That finger continues to trail down until it reaches Letho’s heart. Athanasi tilts their head and studies his chest as they spread their fingers and press their palm down. “I see your heart. I see your pain. I see your longing.” Fathomless eyes flicker up to meet his once again, stripping every last piece of Letho's armour away. And with sudden clarity, Letho understands that this isn’t ensorcellment. No, this is something far more dangerous. Honesty. Sincerity. Kindness. Ensorcellment he can fight. This...Letho feels himself sag and fall forward until he’s caught and secure in stout arms once again. “There’s still a chance to be better Letho. And if you show that you are trying, if you allow that goodness in your heart to begin to grow again instead of stunting it, then the rest of the keep will respond."

Letho feels raw, torn open, and it's fucking crippling. He shakes his head as he presses it to Athanasi’s shoulder. Distantly, he realises he’s trembling. “I can’tー” he chokes out, shaking his head more furiously. “I can’t open that door again.” Letho isn’t making sense but he can’t bring himself to care. With a few spoken words this creature has decimated Letho’s defences and he’s left hollow. He can’t open himself up to others again. He can’t risk going through that pain once more. Yet as Athanasi shushes him and strokes Letho’s back, he has a sinking realisation that it’s already far too late. 

As Letho drowns in the first gentle touch he has felt in decades, drowns in the emotions he’s kept at bay for so long, he fails to notice the tall figure who skids to a stop in front of the open doorway, staring at the two forms curled together. Leon’s lips purse and his fingers itch to drive a dagger into the kingslayer’s back. How dare he have the audacity to hug Nasi after nearly killing them today. Yet as he continues to study the pair, Leon notes with shock that Letho’s shoulders shake slightly. Almost as though...no it can’t be. Letho is a cold-hearted killer. 

Leon’s ears strain as he notices that Athanasi’s lips move, but their voice is too low for him to hear. Whatever they say seems to make Letho shake more and suddenly Leon feels like an intruder. Despite how many of his instincts are screaming to intervene, to drag Athanasi away and hold them close, he retreats back down the hall. He still doesn’t trust Letho but no man shuddering like that is planning on murdering the person hugging him. Leon takes a shaky breath. He has to remember that Athanasi knows what they’re doing and can take care of themself. Leon has to trust that they’re being smart, even if they have no sense of self-preservation. 

Fuck, his nerves are still too rattled. Time to track down Eskel and Kamil. He could appreciate their calming presence. 

*******

Jaskier sighs wistfully as he stares at where Geralt is sketching and studiously ignoring said staring. “Isn’t my mate just the most beautiful specimen you’ve ever set eyes on?” he says with another sigh, making Geralt's cheeks heat. 

Yennefer snorts. “I’ll admit your witcher has a certain oafish appeal but he’s no match for _mine,”_ she claims, tilting her nose up imperiously. Oh no. Geralt pauses his sketching and glances up as Jaskier’s eyes flash. Though Jaskier and Yennefer have made vast gains from where they were over a decade ago, they still are far too competitive with each other for this to end well. 

Before Geralt can cut in however Lambert releases a bellowing laugh. “Sure, Geralt and Coën have a certain appeal if you’re into giants but they have _nothing_ on my Cat,” he proclaims before snagging a surprised Aiden by the collar of his tunic and drawing him in a kiss that stretches the definition of public decency. Geralt rubs a hand across his face tiredly before remembering that it was covered in charcoal. Fuck. 

His eyes widen when Ciri stands on top of the dining table despite that being a biscuit privilege losing offense and raises her tankard of ale towards where Ewa is lounging beside Leon. “EWA IS THE MOST GORGEOUS CREATURE ON THE FACE OF THIS CONTINENT AND I WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO CLAIMS DIFFERENTLY!” she shouts, sloshing her drink as she does. 

Ewa sinks into her chair looking slightly mortified. “Please starlight, I’d rather not end the night in bloodshed,” she says faintly. 

“But Ewa and Leon are twins so that makes them tied for being the prettiest!” Athanasi pipes up, beaming at Leon as the blacksmith mirrors his twin’s attempt to hide. And in a blink, Jaskier, Ciri, Yennefer, and Lambert are all on their feet shouting over each other in an attempt to prove themselves right. Geralt notes with relief that Athanasi seems content with staying snuggled to Leon’s side; they have gotten far too good at using daggers under Lambert’s tutelage. Eskel and Kamil also seem to be happy with staying curled up on the rug, watching chaos devolve with mild amusement. Also a relief because the fox can be feral when he wants to be. Marya and Vesemir simply sit resigned as they witness the mayhem unfold. Even they have no power over those four bull-headed fools in times like these. 

Aiden sidles over to Geralt, his ears a suspicious pink hue. “Should we intervene?” he asks weakly, his blush deepening when Lambert starts spouting out Aiden’s attributes, ranging from sweet to filthy with no sign of slowing down. 

Geralt smirks at the Cat. “I dunno, Lambert seems to be on a roll.” He gulps when Jaskier tackles Lambert and starts tussling him while listing off why Geralt makes a better partner. Now Geralt can feel his ears heat up more. Gods, his mate is so passionately poetic and sweet, even four sheets to the wind. Come to think of it, he's probably the most passionate when absolutely sloshed. The smell of ozone fills the air as Yennefer and Ciri square up, and now Geralt jumps to his feet in a panic. Wrestling is one thing but if these two start throwing around magic while clearly drunk off their asses this could get messy quick. Fortunately, Coën and Ewa beat him to it. Both magic-users are soon spitting and kicking fruitlessly in the air as their respective partners restrain them and drag them away. Even as they do, Yennefer and Ciri continue to rant and rave. Geralt has never witnessed Coën look so embarrassed yet pleased before; it’s an odd yet endearing look on the massive witcher. 

“What the fuck was in that drink?” Letho asks incredulously behind Geralt, making him jump. Fuck, the Viper must’ve snuck in, summoned by all the ruckus. He’s been hovering on the edges of the pack all day, watching the various members of the keep interact together with a guarded expression. 

Though Aiden bristles and releases a warning growl, Geralt shoots Letho a wry smirk. “Honestly, they could easily be this feral without the addition of alcohol,” he remarks, before turning when he hears a yelp and Lambert shout, “Not fair!” Geralt lets out a low chuckle. Jaskier has shifted and managed to pin Lambert with his added weight and is now snuffling in his hair despite Lambert’s squirming protests. Geralt rolls his eyes as he stands up and approaches his mate. Jaskier can never shift back when he’s drunk so looks like Geralt has a wolf as a mate for the rest of the night. Certainly won't be the first time, nor the last knowing Jaskier.

“Since you can’t argue in this form it’s an automatic forfeit!” Lambert declares before yelping when Jaskier nips his ear. “Melitele Songbird, your fangs are _sharp,”_ Lambert protests before grumbling when Jaskier licks him apologetically. Settling more comfortably atop the witcher, Jaskier releases a happy rumble before closing his eyes. Well, there will be no moving him now, and Lambert knows it if his resigned expression is anything to go on. 

“They're all fools. Everyone knows that you’re the most handsome,” Kamil finally whispers to Eskel, Geralt’s ears picking up on it even across the room. Based off of Lambert and Jaskier’s growls, they did too, but both of them are far too comfortable to do anything about it fortunately. Yennefer and Ciri have finally calmed too, secure in their partner’s arms even as they continue to glare at each other. Geralt just rolls his eyes before shifting and plopping down beside Jaskier. His pack is ridiculous but he wouldn’t have them any other way. 

Letho gawks at the drunken members of the keep scattered across the room, mind reeling from what he walked into. Is _everyone_ paired up here? What the fuck? And was that a _sketchpad_ in the bloody White Wolf’s lap? Letho feels like he’s in some kinda dream. Has no idea whether it’s a nightmare yet though. He grits his teeth at the tugging in his heart. It’s not that he’s jealous, far from it. Romantic attachments never fully made sense to him. He and his brothers-in-arms had a fierce bond, and though he slept with some of them occasionally, he never had the urge to pair up romantically like some of them did. Letho was perfectly content with joining a pile of limbs by the hearth, playing games of Gwent and having passionate debates deep into night, and holding each other tight before they parted for the Path once again. His relationships with his fellow Vipers were no less legitimate than the countless romantic pairings he’s witnessed over his years. And thisーwhat he’s witnessingーis so similar to what Letho lost he _aches._ Though it’s clear that there are some distinct pairings, Letho watches as Jaskier and Lambert curl up beside each other, followed by Geralt and the Cat. As Ewa and Ciri pile together with Eskel, Athanasi, and that blacksmith. As even the witch and Marya and Vesemir join in, and various animals including Dagger and a fucking _goat_ find a place to lay down. Fuck, Letho misses this. Misses casual touches and warm bodies with no expectations attached to the gesture. Misses having a fucking family. With a sigh, Letho casts one more glance across the room before turning and trudging away. Fucking Emhyr. Just...fuck him. 

*******

Dagger is pointy again. Another two legged has arrived and Dagger can tell pointy gentle one was not happy or relaxed about it. But now pointy gentle one is relaxed as he is curled under fluffy friend. Dagger nudges his face before licking it, getting the human sign of happiness in return. Dagger wags her tail. She is happy pointy gentle one is happy. Dagger releases a rumble as pointy gentle one digs his hands into her pointy fur. With the new human gone, Dagger feels her pointy fur going away. That is good. Dagger wanted cuddles and doesn’t want to hurt her two leggeds. Pointy soft one and rumbly one come to lay next to pointy gentle one and fluffy friend and Dagger plops on top of pointy soft one and licks his face with a happy growl. Even though there is a new two legged Dagger knows her pack with protect her. And who knows? Maybe this two legged will turn out nice and will want cuddles too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the back to back angsty chapters. I promise we’re getting out of the woods but Letho has a lot of recovery/trust-building to get through and I wanna give my boy the time he needs.
> 
> The drunken competition at the end of the chapter is thanks to a prompt by NatsumiKirklandJones :-)
> 
> Pointy gentle one=Lambert  
> Fluffy friend=Jaskier  
> Pointy soft one=Aiden  
> Rumbly one= Geralt


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athanasi would've thrived on a debate team, Ewa is having the time of her life, and Alloy makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't thank you all enough for continuing to read and comment. Getting back to work full time has really taken it out of me and I hardly have any free time anymore. But every single one of your comments helps me get that motivation to continue writing this story that I truly adore. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart <3
> 
> Also, some more background for those of you not so familiar with Letho:
> 
> At one point in the game Geralt confronts Letho and we learn about his motives for all the bad shit he did and a shit ton of other stuff. In that moment you have the choice to kill him or let him free with an offer to come to Kaer Morhen if he needs/wants to. Later, during the battle at Kaer Morhen, Letho helps out if you choose this latter option. Like I said, I'm literally plucking Letho out of the game without acknowledging the majority of the game's plot points so this is essentially what you can imagine: Geralt corners Letho after his plan falls through and he learns that Emyhr was bullshitting him, Letho explains his side to Geralt, and Geralt begrudgingly lets him go, knowing what it's like to be given a second chance.

“I’m not sorry for attacking you.” Letho side-eyes Jaskier from where the bard has come up beside him, arms crossed as he watches Geralt and Eskel spar in a flurry of limbs and steel. 

“I’d be shocked if you were,” Letho remarks dryly. 

Jaskier frowns faintly. “Nasi told us we need to be nice to you.” 

Letho’s eyes widen at this admission, swallowing at the memory of warmth surrounding him as gentle words soothed the beast thrashing in his heart. “Did they?” Letho asks with forced nonchalance. 

Jaskier grunts before scowling. “Dunno what they see in you. You’re still a cold-blooded killer in my opinion.” 

In the past Letho would allow such claims to slide off of him like water. But something Athanasi whispered to him in that earnest way they have has Letho speaking up. “If your family and home was stripped away from you, what would you do to get that back?” Letho asks quietly, watching in his periphery as Jaskier stiffens and turns slightly toward Letho, studying him with a discerning gaze. 

“I would raze the world to the ground,” he responds evenly without a blink. 

Letho’s lips twist into a facsimile of a smirk as a feeling of vindication curls in his chest. “Exactly.”

Shifting his gaze across the courtyard to where Lambert and Athanasi are walking through some techniques, Letho shakes his head with disgust. Bloody Wolves are too clumsy to know the true art of handling a dagger. Ignoring how Jaskier’s mouth has dropped open slightly as he continues to stare at Letho, the Viper strides across the yard. It won’t do to have the succubus killed in their first fight. 

As Letho comes up beside Athanasi however, Lambert pauses his thrust to growl at Letho. When Dagger slinks from wherever she was hiding to press against Lambert with a warning grumble, Letho simply blinks at her placidly. It’s taken some practice not to tense in the face of such a menacing creature but Letho realised quite quickly that Dagger is a nervous pup in a prickly package. If he didn’t worry that she could bite off his head if he looked at Lambert the wrong way, Letho might even be inclined to call her cute. 

Crossing his arms, Lambert glowers at Letho. “What do you want, asshole?” he demands. Rolling his eyes, Letho fights the urge to snag the dagger dangling from Lambert’s hand. Vesemir still hasn’t returned Letho’s weapons to him and it’s making him...twitchy. 

“Thought I’d intervene before Athanasi internalised your shit knife handling habits.” 

As Lambert steps closer to snarl at him, Athanasi perks up. “Would you like to help teach me too Letho?” they ask hopefully. 

Letho has to bite down on a laugh at Lambert’s look of betrayal as he whirls to look at the succubus. “Don’t listen to that prick little viper, I’m a great teacher!” he protests. 

“Aww, you named them after me?” Letho croons. “How sweet.” 

Growling, Lambert turns to glare mutinously at him again. “I call them a viper because they stabbed me within 24 hours of meeting me and I take that as a compliment. But they are _nothing_ like you,” he hisses. If words were venomous Letho would feel quite the sting.

“But we are similar Lambert,” Athanasi says, shrinking slightly. “Letho and I have both killed without remorse.” Letho's brow furrows as he studies this gentle creature. He can't imagine them murdering without a second thought. But as he thinks about it, Letho recalls Athanasi's statement when they defended him, that they would've easily killed him a few months ago. Fuck. Before he can go too far down that road and its implications, Lambert interrupts his thoughts. 

“So?” Lambert scoffs. “Join the club!” 

“Please stop confusing them,” Coën says with a sigh, pausing his spar with Yennefer to walk over to them. “Athanasi is trying their best to wrap their head around why murder _shouldn’t_ be encouraged.” 

“C’mon Coën, even you can admit that there are always some exceptions to the rule,” Lambert drawls, flicking his knife through the air idly. Letho has to clench his fist to keep from snagging it as it flies before his face. Can't he just have _one_ dagger to play with? 

But Coën’s determined scowl only hardens. “Every life is precious.” 

“Even those who hurt the lives of others?” Athanasi inquires with a tilt of their head.

“Yeah Coën, what about then?” Letho asks with a lazy smirk, which grows as Coën shoots him a withering glare. 

“Witchers don’t involve themselves with matters of humans. They hate us enough. If we start killing them, we’d be hunted down,” Coën says firmly. Turning back to Athanasi, Coën’s expression softens. “If everyone had the freedom to kill, it would be anarchy. You insulted me? I stab you. You beat me at Gwent? I steal all your coin. We can’t play judge, jury, and executioner. There would be chaos and bloodshed everywhere you look. We need rules and morals in place to protect innocents and keep order.”

“But if the law isn’t protecting innocents from being hurt, shouldn’t a witcher intervene?” Athanasi counters, emerald eyes sparking with intelligence and curiosity. “You kill when creatures hurt others. I do the same. If someone is a monster with a human’s face and the law does not stop them, isn’t it your duty to take the law into your hands?” Letho can’t stop his impressed hum. Little spitfire has a point. He’s always kept a hand out of human affairs himself, learning quickly that kindness was not rewarded when it was a witcher doing the act. That hasn’t stopped him from smashing men’s faces in who don’t know when to keep their hands to themselves though. But that’s not about Letho being a good person; more about him finding pleasure in beating up pieces of filth. Besides, it's not like anyone else is going to stop them.

Coën’s expression turns troubled and he frowns as he studies the succubus. Their debate has started to gather them an audience, Geralt, Eskel, and the rest of the keep’s members hanging around the courtyard now moving closer to listen in. “There are ways of helping others without killing people though Nasi,” Leon cuts in, trailing a hand along their shoulder in a casual gesture of intimacy that makes Letho ache. 

Now the succubus turns their attention on Leon, picking up his hand to play with his fingers. “But helping the victim doesn’t stop the perpetrator from repeating their crime,” they remark reasonably, receiving twin grunts of agreement from Lambert and Letho before the Wolf glares at the Viper for daring to think the same thing. Letho shoots the Wolf a lazy smirk in response and watches with amusement as Lambert huffs and leans into the Cat一Aiden一who’s strolled up beside them. And that’s something that Letho is still reeling from. Out of all the odd occurrences at this keep, and there are many, this might be the one that remains the most baffling. Lambert in love. What the fuck? From what Letho has observed though, Lambert is no less prickly than he was a few decades ago, yet he is like an ancient cliff-face in the sea. His edges can still be deadly but there are some areas that have been smoothed down. It’s disorienting. 

Letho tunes back into the debate to note with amusement that Coën is starting to look increasingly more frustrated and stumped while Leon just looks defeated. Athanasi, for their part, continues to look purely curious and slightly confused, like they are genuinely trying to understand. “Sometimes the best way to help is by killing the monster doing the harm,” Letho claims during a lull in the conversation. 

All eyes turn to him, and he hardly blinks at the mixture of venom and distrust shot his way. “You would know, wouldn’t you kingslayer?” Coën rumbles dangerously. Letho simply returns his gaze with a placid one of his own, idly wondering what it would be like to spar with the Griffin. He’s never had a chance to and it could be fun with their similar physiques. 

“Right. Even though Letho is bloody there are signs that he can be redeemed,” Athanasi says slowly, as though reaching a revelation. Turning to Leon as they bounce with restrained excitement they rush out, “Before I met you, I would’ve killed Letho without a thought but you’ve been teaching me that people deserve a second chance and even if you’ve done bad things in the past that doesn’t mean you’re always a bad person. Maybe that’s the trick! I need to look at auras more carefully and if there’s a sign that someone could become a better person I can try to help them become better but if there is only blood soaking their aura then I can kill them, right?” Damn, Letho’s heart is stone but even he would have a hard time saying no to eyes as bright as those. 

Leon stares at Athanasi for a long beat, face flashing through too many expressions to note before landing on something close to awe. Pressing their foreheads together he whispers, “You amaze me _en’ca minne._ ” Letho grunts with amusement and interest. Not many people would react so positively to the suggestion that someone who murders people will just be slightly more discerning with whom they murder. Not that Letho's complaining; makes perfect sense to him.

“So is that a yes?” Athanasi asks hopefully, twining their arms around Leon and pressing closer to him until they’re practically plastered together. Letho averts his gaze, the simple intimacy too much for him, especially so soon after learning what it’s like to be held in those arms. Surveying the surrounding group, Letho notes with interest that most of them seem to be nodding with approval, even Coën’s frown turning towards something more contemplative than disapproving. Interesting. He's not surprised; little spitfire has a point, and they would have a better success eliminating human waste than witchers. 

Hmm. Letho will definitely need to help them train in that case. If Lambert would let him that is. Letho sighs. Getting the prickly bastard to actually trust him is gonna be a challenge. Letho better figure out an in. 

*******  


“What’s wrong Leon?” Leon has been quiet all day, a silent presence practically glued to Athanasi and though they’re not complaining, they can tell something is troubling him. Now that they are alone, enjoying some time in the springs by themselves, Athanasi thought it would be a good time to bring it up. 

Leon looks up with surprise from where he’s soaping himself before quickly averting his gaze. “Nothing’s wrong Nasi. Why do you ask?” 

Athanasi frowns. “You’ve said lying isn’t good.” 

This time Leon meets Athanasi’s gaze for a long moment before sighing. “When did you get so good at seeing right through me?” he asks softly, drifting closer to press their heads together. 

“Hmm. I have spent a long time studying you Leon,” Athanasi remarks, tracing the dips and curves of Leon’s face reverently. “Even before I knew what my heart was doing, I couldn’t look away. I suppose after awhile you learn how to decipher a language in looks.” Leon stares at them silently and Athanasi grins. “Like that face means, ‘Athanasi, you say things that amaze me and I love you.’” Preening, Athanasi dips their head graciously. “Thank you Leon, that’s very nice of you to say.” 

Chuckling, Leon nuzzles the side of Athanasi’s face before pressing a kiss to their cheek. “You read me like a book _en’ca minne.”_

“Are you, Eskel, and Kamil still planning on teaching me how to read then?” Athanasi inquires, drawing their finger along the curve of Leon’s ear.

“Only if you’re interested,” Leon shrugs. 

“Hm.” Athanasi has been pondering it ever since the suggestion was brought up, watching as Kamil, Eskel, and Leon seem to delight in such a strange act. Athanasi never fully understood the benefits of reading. It seemed like a waste of time, an activity with no particular purpose. But Athanasi has been learning about the importance of finding joy and pleasure in doing things, like eating yummy food and cuddling soft animals. And those three certainly seem to derive some amount of joy from reading. Perhaps Athanasi would too. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try,” Athanasi shrugs before scowling. “But no distracting me!” Turning so they’re facing each other fully, Athanasi pouts. “What is on your mind? You seem off today.” 

Sighing, Leon gathers Athanasi in his arms and the succubus sinks into the soft embrace. “Just. Been missing you,” Leon mumbles in their hair. 

Athanasi frowns. “I haven't gone anywhere though.” 

Pressing his forehead to Athanasi’s shoulder Leon groans, “I know but I’m used to having you to myself and I’m so glad and relieved that you get along with everyone here and I feel so selfish but一” he cuts himself off, shoulders slumping in defeat. “I miss this,” Leon finishes quietly, his voice nothing but a breath in Athanasi's ear. Athanasi turns Leon’s jumble of words over in their head to try to understand what he’s trying to say, frowning with concentration. How can you miss someone who hasn’t left? 

Athanasi narrows their eyes, playing back the events of the past few days to try to understand what Leon has been saying. Oh. Oh dear. "I have been spending time with everyone but you!” Athanasi gasps. Given their positions, Athanasi can feel Leon flinch and they soothe him with a hand down the back of his neck. “I’m sorry Leon,” Athanasi says mournfully, guilt curling in their gut. 

Pulling away with wide eyes, Leon shakes his head rapidly. “ _No._ Don’t feel guilty Nasi! You should spend as much time with every member of the keep as you want! I don't control you.” Shrugging he adds wryly, “I just gotta get used to sharing you.” 

Athanasi tilts their head with a frown. “But I don't want to be shared. I’m yours,” they say simply, noting how Leon’s breath catches in his throat. When Leon brushes a questioning thumb over Athanasi’s lips, they give a nod and hum happily when Leon touches their lips together with a sigh. They don’t do this too frequently, and never around others. This is something just for Athanasi and Leon, but neither of them feel a driving urge to do such an act. They have found countless other ways of expressing their affection, through the tangle of fingers and the brush of legs and the trade of smiles and on and on and on. But every so often, one or both of them feels their love balloon in their chest and can’t contain it. In those moments, Leon and Athanasi find kissing to be a suitable way of getting their emotions across. 

It was a relief kissing Leon the first time; despite all that Athanasi knew of Leon they had no way of knowing what kind of kisser he would be. All they had experienced up to that point was clacking teeth and probing tongues and the bitter tang of copper from bitten lips. Leon did none of this and in retrospect, Athanasi should’ve expected that. Leon kissed Athanasi with a reverence and awe they don’t know they deserve, lips soft and yielding, never once demanding or aggressive. As they’ve continued their relationship, Leon’s initial timidity has made way for confidence, yet the gentle brushing of lips has never changed. 

A roughened palm cups Athanasi’s cheek as they luxuriate in the simple exchange of their love before Leon draws far enough away to peer into Athanasi’s eyes. “And I’m yours,” Leon rasps, thumb brushing along the length of Athanasi’s jaw before he pulls back to cradle their hands in his own. “I am so ecstatic that everyone at the keep has a chance to realise what a marvelous creature you are Nasi,” Leon says, voice hushed despite their current privacy. “I am just getting used to you spending time with other people, but I will because you need to have your freedom and independence and own life. I would hate myself if I kept you bound to me.” 

Athanasi’s heart swells at Leon's declaration. They can’t believe they ever thought such a feeling meant they were dying when it’s quite the opposite. “So you don’t mind that I’m spending time with the others?” Athanasi asks with a bite of their lip. 

“Fuck no Nasi,” Leon says heatedly, and Athanasi knows he tells the truth. “I’m so fucking happy for you.” 

Nodding firmly, Athanasi squirms until they are pressed side to side. “Good,” they hum. “Because I like everyone here.” Squeezing Leon they whisper, “Don’t tell them but you’ll always be my favourite though.” As Leon's chuckles vibrates through Athanasi's chest, they wiggle happily and curl closer to their love. They are relieved that Leon isn't jealous that Athanasi spends time with other people but Leon deserves attention too. Athanasi will just have to make sure they have moments like this; moments where it's just the two of them. Yes, that sounds lovely.

*******

“Here. Did my best to get the blood out,” a gruff voice says from behind her. 

Turning, Ewa raises an incredulous brow as she’s faced with the kingslayer holding a rag. “Sorry?” 

Shuffling his feet, Letho brandishes the rag closer. “Took some scrubbing but did the best I could.” Narrowing her eyes, Ewa alternates between studying the rag she distantly remembers throwing at the Viper and watching the witcher in question look supremely uncomfortable, which is a surprising look on a murderer. 

Reaching out to pluck the worn rag from his hands, Ewa studies it, noting with approval that it's spotless. Rubbing a thumb mindlessly over it, Ewa flicks her eyes up to watch the kingslayer continue to stand in her forge awkwardly. “Jaskier and Nasi say we should try being nice to you,” Ewa says casually, watching Letho’s expression closely and noting with interest at how his eyes widen with surprise before his face shutters closed. 

“Don’t feel obliged on my account,” he remarks dryly. Setting the rag aside, Ewa crosses her arms. She doesn’t trust the Viper, not by a long shot, after hearing the tales of his deeds. But she does trust Nasi and Jaskier’s judgement. If they say there’s more to the witcher than a ruthless murderer, the least Ewa can do is find out for herself. 

It goes against her instincts; after everything she and Leon have gone through, neither of them trust easy. But as a questioning hand is placed on her shoulder, Ewa shoots Ciri a reassuring smile. With her starlight by her side, Ewa feels some of her tension wash away. Won’t be letting her guard down anytime soon though. Nodding towards the forge Ewa mutters, “C’mon. Let’s see if all witchers are inept at smithing or if Geralt’s the exception." She’ll hand the bastard an olive branch. And if he snaps it in half, all the better. But if he doesn’t...well, Ewa will deal with that if it comes. 

*******

Vesemir is watering his greenhouse with the melted snow he gathered from a recent storm, content to spend some time on his own. Though something in Vesemir settles at having the keep so full, it takes time for him to get used to the various sounds and personalities pressing against the worn walls after so many months with it just being him and his huntress. And with three more additions, the keep is more full than ever. It will never get to the capacity it once was, but Vesemir doesn’t mourn that. The air is free of the suffering and pain and gloom that infused it when Kaer Morhen was a towering fortress. Clangs of steel are now interspersed with bouts of laughter, pained yells have been replaced with gleeful yips, and cold isolation has made way for warm bodies on all sides. Vesemir would never have expected to find Kaer Morhen feeling like a home but that’s what it’s become. He’ll never take it for granted. 

The whiff of honeysuckle floats through the air as Vesemir finishes watering some herbs, his back to the entrance of his greenhouse. “Can I help you Athanasi?” he asks without turning around. 

“Hello Vesemir!” a cheerful voice chirps. Ducking his head, Vesemir hides the twitch of his lips. He hasn’t spent too much time with their resident succubus but has been content watching them studiously and effortlessly tear down the walls and insecurities of the keep’s members. They have a fire and ferocity that any wolf would be proud of. “So _pretty!”_ Vesemir allows his smile to unfurl. And yet they possess a wide-eyed awe and innocence that has made them something precious to even the prickliest of Kaer Morhen’s members. A study of dichotomies, this one. 

Finishing with his watering, Vesemir turns to where the succubus is bowed down to sniff at a flower, eyes closed with contentment. “What brought you to build this?” they ask, green eyes flickering open to peer at him with a curious light. 

Wary of that curiosity, having witnessed how easily it can decimate a witcher’s defences, Vesemir hums. “It’s an easy way to grow necessary ingredients during the cold months,” he rumbles, setting aside his watering pail. 

Tilting their head, Athanasi surveys the greenhouse. “All of this is just out of necessity?” they ask, something like disappointment colouring their tone. Damn his old heart. 

“Not just,” Vesemir admits reluctantly with a shrug. “Despite popular belief, witchers are allowed to admire pretty things too.” 

Athasasi beams so brightly at Vesemir he fears he’ll be blinded. “But of course you like pretty things; you love Marya!” Vesemir curses himself as he feels his ears heat. He’s far too old to be blushing like a lad talking about a girl he fancies. Scrambling for something to say, Vesemir settles onto an old favourite. “Hmm.” Curling a finger around a flower’s stem, Athanasi grins. “You Wolves like your humming, huh?” When Vesemir doesn’t respond, unsure what to say, Athanasi shrugs carelessly before making their way through the rows of flowers and bushes and herbs. “It makes sense I suppose. When people would sooner spit on you than smile at you, it must feel safer to say nothing at all.”

Vesemir feels like a deer caught in the sights of a particularly friendly bear. Fuck, so this is how everyone else has felt when interacting with this creature. His heart thumps slightly faster as a strange itchiness skitters along his skin. Avoiding that far too knowing gaze, Vesemir busies himself with tending to his plants, pruning and trimming unhealthy leaves and stems. 

“You have been around the longest other than Marya. Do you think murder is okay?” Athanasi blurts out. Vesemir freezes mid cut. Fuck. He’s heard that the succubus has been grappling with the subject of morality. Flicking his gaze over to Athanasi and feeling his heart soften at the sight of lost green eyes, Vesemir sighs and sets down his sheers. 

Thumping a fist onto the counter Vesemir muses, “I suppose it depends on the intention behind a killing and what we walk away with afterwards. There are monsters beyond the bestiary who can be proven to be irredeemable. As witchers, there is not much we can do if we do not want to be hunted. Someone more inconspicuous though…” he cuts himself off with a contemplative frown. 

“I’ve never felt remorse after I have killed. Does that make me irredeemable?” Athanasi asks timidly, wrapping their arms around themselves. 

Vesemir studies the peculiar creature before him, with their wide eyes filled with trepidation, their stocky form attempting to shrink into itself to take less room, the smell of despair wafting off of them. From what Leon has explained, they have been alone all their life, no outside influences guiding them one way or another. Feeling that familiar warmth he experiences when given the opportunity to teach, Vesemir hums, tracing a finger along the roughened surface below him. “The world is too complicated to be split between good and bad, right and wrong. We must live in grey and achieve a balance to survive. You have been living in a black and white world and in such a world there is no room for remorse or doubt that what you are doing is just.” Looking up, Vesemir pierces them with a golden gaze. "You told us not to kill Letho. Why?”

“Leon has taught me to look closer at people’s auras and not jump to conclusions,” they explain firmly. 

Vesemir nods with approval. “Exactly. Do you think you would feel remorse if you had killed him?” 

Athanasi tilts their head. “I believe so,” they say slowly. “Now that I see his pain and longing.” 

“And what has stopped you from killing people since you have met Leon?”

Now they pull a face. “Leon says it would be inconvenient to be chased out of town, especially since we got to his home village.” Vesemir’s lips twitch at how put out they sound. He would have loved to hear how that conversation went. 

“Aye, Leon has a point,” Vesemir remarks with amusement. “Your ability to see auras puts you in both an advantage and a disadvantage. You are able to see into people’s hearts and souls but because of your internal moral compass you feel obligated to stomp out evil.”

Athanasi’s eyes widen with hope and they begin bouncing on their toes excitedly. “You think I have morals? I have been trying very hard to learn!”

Vesemir smiles kindly, striding towards the succubus to place his hands on their shoulders. “The fact that you choose to kill only those with blood on their hands shows you already had morals before you met Leon. Think of those kinds of people; they hurt innocent souls and you could too. But you choose not to.”

Athanasi balks, clasping their hand around their pendant. “Why would I hurt people with kind and pretty auras though?” 

Vesemir shrugs. “Why do people harm those who have only demonstrated kindness? Even if people can’t see auras, they know they are harming innocents, yet they choose to do so anyway. 

“You have the urge to protect the vulnerable and stop evil. If you use discretion, if you do it thoughtfully and carefully, if it is clear that a person is not redeemable and will hurt someone else if they are not stopped, if you do not become numb to the fact you are taking a life, perhaps it is alright.” Vesemir can’t help wincing as he finishes his pronouncement. Part of him is protesting his admission, but why? Witchers already live in a world of grey. Though they don’t talk about it openly, Aiden, Lambert, and Geralt have killed humans. Vesemir still vividly recalls the panic and despair clouding Geralt after his first year on the Path, his halting admission that he killed a human who attempted to assault a woman. Vesemir’s heart still aches at the memory of Geralt’s wide eyes filled with sorrow when he whispered how the woman reacted in the end. Though witchers aren’t supposed to be involved in human affairs, his pups have too much heart not to intervene when needed. 

“We will increase your training because if you find someone irredeemable, you are not to use your powers,” Vesemir eventually states.

“Why not?”Athanasi asks with a frown. A surge of anger rises through Vesemir as he recalls what Yennefer learned, but he stomps it down with a steady breath. 

“If you feed from physical affection, I can’t imagine you would wish to kill in the usual way,” he says gently.

Athanasi ducks their head, tightening their grip around themselves. “Right,” they say, voice sounding small. 

Cuffing them under the chin, Vesemir murmurs, “You have a good heart Athanasi. You just need some guidance.” He jolts as Athanasi wraps their arms around Vesemir, squeezing him tightly. Smiling softly, Vesemir returns the hug and finds that he is squeezed tighter in response. 

“Do you think you or Marya could talk to Leon about this too? I think he could use the reassurance,” Athanasi mumbles into his tunic. Vesemir furrows his brow. Why would Leon need to hear this? He ponders over the few interactions he’s had with the lad and realises that they haven’t spent much time together at all. Perhaps he will need to remedy that. Deciding that this may be a conversation for another time though, Vesemir allows Athanasi to take what comfort they need from him. Boundaries were established early on for when Athanasi feeds, so Vesemir knows that he doesn’t need to wonder if that’s what they’re doing now. They remain like that for a long moment, Athanasi nuzzling Vesemir from where their face rests on his shoulder. When they don’t make any sign of pulling away, Vesemir mentally shrugs. He didn’t have any plans today anyway. 

*******

Letho watches with something close to trepidation as Ewa eyes his creation critically. It was meant to be the beginnings of a dagger. If Athanasi wants to make that their primary weapon they need a well made one. Perhaps Letho shouldn’t have taken that responsibility on himself. “Well, this is a piece of shit,” Ewa declares, causing Letho to snort despite himself. 

“I didn’t come into this forge with the goal of learning how to smith, you know that right?” he asks dryly. 

The blacksmith simply shoots him a disdainful look. “You learn a lot about a person from how they smith,” she says cryptically. 

Letho arches a brow. “Care to elaborate?” 

Oh, he doesn’t like that smile. “Nope!” she says cheerfully, before tossing the lump of metal onto the counter. “Fortunately even with your shit work that material is salvageable.” Grabbing Letho’s discarded gloves he borrowed, Ewa tosses them at him. “Let’s try again.” 

Letho stares at her incredulously. He’s spent _hours_ working on this and now she wants him to do it all over again? When Ewa simply raises a brow and begins to tap her foot impatiently, Letho growls and shoves his gloves on. Fine. If this is some kinda test he’s not gonna back down. He’s survived the witcher trials, decades of abuse, and being double crossed and hunted by Emyhr and his men. What’s a day in the hands of some half-elf blacksmith?

*******

Letho stares at his meal hopelessly. His arms have officially given up the fight and Letho doesn’t know if he has the ability to raise them high enough to feed himself. He can feel Ewa’s eyes on him as she bites back her laughter and Letho only mutters darkly to himself. Smug bastard. 

With an embarrassing amount of effort, Letho raises an arm only to freeze and stare at his lap dumbly. A black and grey cat has crawled into it and has stretched up to rub its face against his stomach. What the fuck. “Alloy wants you to pet her, my incompetent apprentice,” Ewa pipes up, amber eyes glittering with mirth. 

Shooting her a withering glare and grumbling when Ewa doesn’t even blink, Letho brushes tentative fingers through the cat’s fur. “Soft,” he whispers, breath catching when Alloy begins to purr and press into his palm. He’s never had an animal approach him; quite the opposite. His very presence would cause any animal in the vicinity to bolt. And here’s this tiny, fragile creature willingly crawling into his lap. Why? Doesn’t she realise Letho’s a monster? 

Swallowing dryly, dinner and his audience forgotten, Letho pours his attention into the cat, noting what kind of scratches earn a purr, which movement leads to a displeased scratch. Letho scrabbles to brace her when Alloy suddenly decides to climb his shoulder, and freezes with amazement when she’s able to perfectly balance there and rub her face against his cheek. He jolts a moment later when Alloy’s previous spot is replaced by another animal, this time a goat? What the fuck? His eyes widen when Letho discovers that the goat is also quite soft. Huh. Well. This is nice, he guesses. He could stay here for awhile.

*******

Alloy is very confused. Two legged hissing one didn't come to the litter after eating! That’s not right. But it's okay. Alloy is good at hunting and will find him. After a long time walking around and getting distracted by fun scents, Alloy finds two legged hissing one in a not good smelly place. Alloy wrinkles her nose before stepping daintily into the room. Two legged hissing one is lying down on a soft thing but the soft thing looks like it’s not very strong. Oh well. Alloy clambers onto the soft thing and curls onto two legged hissing one. Two legged hissing one doesn’t look or act like a hissing one but he smells like one. Alloy was nervous at first because she doesn’t like hissing ones but when two legged hissing one didn’t try to snap at her she decided that he must be okay. Two legged hissing one jumps a little when Alloy sits on him and stares at Alloy for a long time. Growing impatient, Alloy nudges two legged hissing one’s hand until he starts to pet her. Good. Alloy likes pets. Alloy also likes the rest of her litter but if two legged hissing one won’t join the litter she’ll just have to bring the litter to him. Letting out a soft purr as two legged hissing one finds Alloy’s favourite spot, she settles down for the dark time. She may not be happy that she isn’t with the rest of her litter but two legged hissing one gives good pets so Alloy guesses that she can stay here for now. She will be dragging two legged hissing one to the litter if he doesn’t join them next dark time though. No one should be alone during the dark time.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Leon's turn to get a pep talk and cuddle something soft. Meanwhile, Letho has a run in with Yennefer and it doesn't go as planned. Later, Alloy is feeling very proud of her most recent success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what you're thinking: Wow Bedalk, that was a quick update! Are you back to several chapters a week? Unfortunately no, dear reader, I simply chose to ignore my ever-growing to do list and wrote this chapter instead because the outline popped into my head. Enjoy!

“Oh fuck!” Geralt scrambles forward to catch Athanasi before they crash unceremoniously onto the ground. 

With an “oof” Athanasi lands in Geralt’s arms before beaming up at him. “Thank you for catching me!” they chirp. 

But Geralt only glowers down at them. “What have I said about looking straight ahead?” Geralt says crossly, fighting to keep his resolve when the succubus pouts.

“It’s not my fault! I got distracted because Leon always looks so noble when he’s using a bow and arrow!” 

Turning to where Leon is getting smacked upside the head by Marya, Geralt raises a skeptical brow. “Yeah, real noble,” Geralt says dryly. 

Hopping out of his arms, Athanasi smiles at Geralt. “Did he ever tell you how we met?” they ask eagerly. At the shake of his head, Athanasi gasps and turns. “Marya! Did Leon ever tell _you_ how we met?” Leon and Marya whip their heads toward Athanasi, and while the blacksmith ducks his head shyly, Marya puts her hands on her hips and cocks her head. Grinning, Athanasi bounces over to Leon and hooks their arms together. “Leon was my knight in shining armour,” they declare. “There I was, a knife to my throatー” 

“A regular occurrence,” Leon butts in with a roll of his eyes.

Athanasi elbows him playfully. “Do not ruin my tale!” they huff. Interest piqued, Geralt wanders closer, along with Jaskier, Kamil, and Vesemir. “Like I was saying,” they sniff, “There I was, surrounded by bandits and looking death in the eye when an arrow whizzes through the air and takes out my captor!” they exclaim, spreading their hands out for dramatic effect. Pulling away from Leon, they do a spin, whirling their arms as they do. “Then whoosh whoosh whoosh! Before you can blink every bandit is lying in the dirt, dead.” Turning glowing eyes toward Leon, Athanasi’s smile softens. “And then tumbling from a tree came the most handsome creature I’ve ever set eyes on.” Geralt’s lips twitch with amusement as Leon ducks his head and scuffs his boot self-consciously. That’s not surprising; he never seemed like one to boast about himself unless he’s in competition with his sister. 

When Marya claps a hand on Leon’s shoulder however, Leon looks up timidly. “Proud of you pup,” Marya says with a nod of approval. Geralt hums as Leon gazes at Marya, eyes shining with wonder. Leon and Ewa have never made mention of parents or mentors and Geralt knows better than to ask. Now though he can’t help but wonder if Marya and Vesemir are the first elders to take the twins under their wing, to express any semblance of approval towards them. Geralt’s heart aches at the thought. Even if Vesemir was harsher in Geralt’s youth, Geralt still doesn’t think he would have survived without the elder witcher’s support and mentorship. Especially after being tossed aside by the one he called mother...Geralt needed a parental figure. And Vesemir stepped into that role without hesitation. 

“Oh I am SO writing a ballad about this,” Jaskier mutters, eyes distant in the way that indicates he’s already composing in his head. 

As Kamil knocks shoulders with Leon and grins up at him while Leon murmurs to Marya, Athanasi skips back over to Geralt, skidding in front of him and clasping their hands behind their back. “Now is my mistake excused Instructor Geralt?” they ask sweetly, fluttering their eyes up at Geralt. Sly minx. 

Growling, Geralt tugs Athanasi by the ear, dragging them away. “Not even close. It’s time to muck out the stalls.” Geralt smirks as Athanasi moans and groans as they trek towards the stables. “Being a stablehand isn’t just grooming and exercising the horses little one,” Geralt reminds them, rolling his eyes at their petulant grumble. 

Wrinkling their nose as Geralt and Athanasi enter the stable, the succubus releases a long groan. “Fiiine but I get to groom Biscuit later,” they say with a stubborn set of their jaw.

Letting his lips curve up, Geralt ruffles their hair. “You do a good enough job, I’ll let you groom Roach too.” At this Athanasi brightens and rushes towards the proper tools. Geralt watches with a smirk. It’s just too easy. 

*******

Leon is panting after another brutal training session with Marya. He really thought that after Athanasi told the story about how they met that Marya would’ve gone a bit easier on him. He should’ve known better by now. As he slings his bow over his back, Marya nods towards the dining hall. “With me pup.” Knowing better than to question the matriarch of Kaer Morhen, Leon follows her, catching the rag thrown to him by Kamil and wiping down his face. 

When they reach the dining hall, Marya gestures for him to sit and Leon does so with apprehension as he realises that Vesemir has followed them inside as well. He’s hardly spent time with the elder witcher, and has never been alone with both of them at once. A trickle of trepidation starts to slide down his spine as Vesemir sits across from him. The only thing that’s not causing him to bolt are the plate of biscuits Marya places on the table. It’s blatant bribery but Leon will take it. 

“Have I done something wrong?” Leon asks, shifting uncomfortably and tracing a finger down his golden cuff to soothe himself. 

Vesemir smiles kindly at him, the valleys of his face lifting up to make him look younger as Marya continues to bustle about. “Not at all lad, we just want to check in.” Leon’s mind races, trying to determine what the two leaders of Kaer Morhen would want to talk to him about. Leon shoots a grateful glance towards Marya as she silently places a cup of tea in front of him; he could use the soothing beverage. When Marya settles next to Vesemir, Leon gulps, feeling not unlike a rabbit in the face of two wolves. 

“Breathe for us pup,” Marya coaxes, reaching out her arm to squeeze his hand. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” Gripping Marya’s hand tightly, Leon takes a few steady breaths, the honey and herbs wafting from his drink helping calm him. Taking a small sip, Leon closes his eyes to savour it. Marya really makes the best teas. 

Stealing himself, Leon opens his eyes once again. “What would you like to talk to me about?” Leon whispers, keeping his gaze fixed to the table. 

“I had a conversation with Athanasi about morality, about whether it’s alright to kill humans or not. They requested that I speak to you about this subject too,” Vesemir says carefully. Leon’s hand in Marya’s hold spasms and he draws away in a flash as his whole body grows cold and then far too warm. 

How couldー

They promisedー

He can’tー

Through the roaring in his ears Leon faintly hears a familiar voice calling him but Leon doesn’t register the words, images of blood and flames and the sound of screams filling his mind instead. The heat presses against his skin and the sticky substance of blood coats his fingers andー fur? No, no, there was no fur. They hadn’t found Alloy emaciated and shaking in an alley yet. Why does he feel fur? 

Blinking rapidly, the red red red fading away, Leon stares at a giant grey wolf standing on its hind legs, pressing against Leon and peering at him with bright blue eyes. Grey wolf? Why is thereー

With a jolt and a gasp Leon is thrown back into the present. Gripping Marya’s fur far too tightly, Leon buries his face in her ruff, too overwhelmed by memories and mortified by his behavior to show his face. Fuck fuck fuck. He hasn’t been brought back since that eve with Athanasi when he told his tale. What must Marya and Vesemir think of him now? 

“Are you back with us lad?” Vesemir asks softly.

Leon opens and shuts his mouth several times before he's able to form words again. “Yeah I’m fine.” 

He flinches when Vesemir snorts. “That’s the biggest piece of horseshit I’ve heard in some time.” Leon buries himself further in soft fur, stomach twisting with humiliation. He flinches once again when a hand clasps the back of his neck. “Talk to us Leon. Where did you go?” 

Leon squeezes his eyes shut tighter, wishing he could disappear from here, hide away until this moment is forgotten. “What did Athanasi tell you?” he rasps, hating the way his voice shakes, his body tremors. Marya presses her paws more firmly on his legs, licks him lightly across the cheek as Vesemir squeezes his neck gently. 

“Just what I said. They thought you could use some reassurance.” 

Taking a shaky breath, Leon releases his painful grip on Marya’s fur and strokes gently through it instead, feeling grounded by the pressure all around him. “Did Ewa ever tell you what happened to our parents?” he whispers into Marya’s coat. When Marya nods her head Leon’s fingers spasm. Swallowing dryly he croaks, “Did she tell you what happened two months later?” Leon slumps when he’s greeted with silence. Fuck, of course she didn’t; he can’t imagine how they would view him if they knew. 

Well, too late now. 

“I killed them all. Tortured their leader first. Then torched the place,” Leon states, voice shaking with fury and grief. “And I don’t regret it.” He hunches low, bracing himself for the reactions he’ll receive. 

“Ah, I see why they wanted us to talk,” Vesemir hums after a silent moment. Really? Because Leon is still racking his brain. Fuck Nasi, how could they put Leon in this position? They promisedーLeon flinches when rough fingers tip Leon’s chin up and to the side until he’s facing kind golden eyes. Vesemir is crouched down, an odd position for someone who fills the room with his very presence. “You may not regret it but you don’t forgive yourself either, do you?” he says bluntly. 

Leon stares at Vesemir blankly, feeling dazed like he ran headlong into a tree. Vesemir clasps his shoulder and Leon finds he can’t blink away from that keen gaze, no matter how much he wants to. “Letho asked Jaskier what he would do to get his family and home back if it was stripped away from him. Do you know what he said?” Not following the train of thought, Leon shakes his head. Vesemir smiles ruefully. “He said he’d raze the world to the ground.” 

Leon’s eyes widen. Jaskier said that? He thinks back on all his interactions with the shifter, from the day they met through Jaskier’s recovery til today. Leon would never imagine Jaskier capable of such violence in his right mind, when not affected by Stregobor’s experimentation. “I don’tー” Leon shakes his head, furrowing his brow. 

“Everyone at this keep would do anything to protect and avenge this family if needed,” Vesemir says grimly. 

Leon shakes his head once more. “It doesn’tー” But he’s cut off.

“It’s like Athanasi said. Some monsters wear human faces. And if you hadn’t stopped them, a group who would murder a loving couple for simply existing would undoubtedly do more harm in the future,” Vesemir states firmly. “The world is too messy to view morality through a black and white lens. We must adapt to the greyness of our reality.”

The twisting, irrational, guilt Leon has held for over a decade untangles slowly as he processes Vesemir’s words, so similar to what Nasi said the other day. He has never thought about the repercussions if he hadn’t killed them. If Leon had allowed them to live, they would’ve gone on to murder more innocents, place the village under their iron thumb. Has Nasi had the right idea all along? And Leon was so committed to keeping them safe that he hadn’t registered it? 

No, that’s not the only reason. He saw himself as more knowledgeable than them, brushed their perspective aside as ignorance and a lack of exposure to morality rather than wisdom born from experience. 

Fuck, he has an apology to make.

Reeling from these revelations, Leon returns to the safety of Marya’s fur, wrapping his arms more securely around her. “You know, we may be more comfortable on the rug. Why don’t you head over there and I’ll reheat the tea, hm?” A confusing swell of emotions swirl in his chestーgratitude, confusion, fear. 

“Why are you so kind to me?” Leon asks brokenly, shoulders tense once more. 

A hand rests solidly upon his head. “Because you deserve kindness. More than I think you know.” 

“You don’t know me,” Leon protests, harsher than he intended. Because it’s true; this is the longest he’s interacted with Vesemir since they met. 

“Hm. Perhaps not directly. But I know you found it in your heart to forgive and accept Ciri despite her past, that you forgave your sister despite the secret she held. I know you encountered a stranger being held by bandits in the woods and chose to save them, and when you learned they were a creature known to sometimes kill people, instead of ending their life you decided to help them. I know you have been patiently teaching Kamil how to write despite how many ink splatterings you earn in return, and I know when Jaskier was hurt you didn’t hesitate to come to the keep despite only knowing him for a few months." Vesemir tilts Leon's chin up once again, and he forces his eyes open, not even knowing when they closed. "Most importantly," Vesemir murmurs, "I know that your parents were callously murdered, that you and your sister have undoubtedly had to survive on your own in the face of bigotry and ignorance, and instead of allowing all of that to darken your soul, you have remained kind.”

Leon feels something wet flowing down his cheeks and realises belatedly, as Marya licks them off, that they’re tears. Shoulders shaking from silent sobs, Leon stares at Vesemir helplessly as the witcher smiles back at him before cuffing gently under his chin. Picking up Leon's cold tea, Vesemir rises from his crouch with a grunt. “Bring those biscuits over with you, will you lad?” he calls over his shoulder as he heads to the hearth. 

Leon can only watch Vesemir go, blinking dumbly. “Iー” but he can’t think of anything to say. So, heart pounding and aching from an emotion he hasn’t felt since his parents were alive, Leon strokes through Marya’s fur one last time before rising and picking up the plate. In lieu of something to say, Leon bites into a biscuit as he walks towards the hearth. “What are the odds that I can keep this plate to myself?” Leon jokes weakly, looking down at the wolf plodding beside him. Rumbling lowly, Marya bumps into his side with a lupine grin. Shooting her a watery smile Leon says, “I guess I can share them with Vesemir, but that’s as far as my kindness extends.” He swallows as Vesemir’s words echo in his mind. “Well, in this instance,” he adds in a whisper before collapsing onto the rug by the hearth like a puppet with cut strings. With a rumble, Marya plops into his lap and immediately Leon leans forward to press his head into her fur.

He stays there for a long moment, trying to piece himself together and fully process what Vesemir said. Leon has been lost, searching for guidance and Vesemir has appeared like the North Star in the night. With just a few words, he’s given Leon the clarity and permission to forgive and accept himself that he’s needed. For years Leon has carried this fear with him, that murdering those men marred his soul. When Nasi informed him that his aura proves this isn’t true, Leon felt like he could breathe for the first time since that fateful night. 

Yet doubt still lingered and only grew the longer he tried teaching Athanasi about morality. Because through their lessons, Leon fully comprehended that his sense of morality isn’t black and white like most people’s. Most people wouldn’t burn men in their sleep after all, would they? He felt like the biggest hypocrite, teaching Athanasi about right and wrong while grappling with the fact that the distinction has never been clear to him since his parents were murdered. So he doubled down, so intent on doing right by Athanasi and prove that he was a good person by doing so, that Leon never took the succubus’ perspective into consideration.

He’s been a fool. 

When he finally sits up once more, taking a cleansing breath, Leon reaches for another biscuit but a weathered hand beats him to it in a blink. Staring incredulously at Vesemir who’s already chewing the biscuit with a twinkle in his eye, Leon releases an amused huff. When Vesemir offers him a fresh cup of tea, Leon trades the plate of biscuits for it, his stomach more willing to swallow tea than food at the moment anyway. Cradling the cup in his hands, he stares into the amber liquid as though it’ll give him the words he’s searching for. When no answers come, Leon lets out a sigh. “Thanks. For, um.”Leon winces at how inadequately those few words express the gratitude soaring through his chest, but receives a lick on the face and a squeeze on the shoulder anyway. 

“Anytime lad. We’re here for you.” Leon nods numbly as his heart twists into knots. No one will ever replace his ma and da, there aren’t shoes large enough. And Leon and Ewa have survived on their own long enough not to need any parental figures. But. Leon watches Vesemir settle beside him so their shoulders press together as Marya rumbles, grounding him in the present. But, he supposes...it’s nice to have Marya and Vesemir anyway. 

It's not for another hour that he ventures out of the secure huddle he's found himself in. But if Leon doesn't do this now he'll keep delaying it. He finds them in the library, watching Kamil and Eskel read with an interest that seems to grow each day. When Leon clears his throat, all three of them look up before frowning and crowding him. “What happened Leon?” Kamil asks, touching the cheek where tears have long dried. Fuck, he really hoped he would look put together enough by now to grab Athanasi and sneak away. The succubus in question looks worried, biting their lip as they fidget with the pendant Leon gave them.

“Just had some emotional biscuits and tea with Vesemir and Marya,” Leon says with a weak smile. 

He’s not expecting Eskel and Kamil’s knowing nods. “Yeah, we’ve all been there,” Kamil remarks, making Leon’s eyebrows arch with surprise. 

Eskel smiles wryly. “They tempt you with the biscuits and tea before hitting you right where you were hoping they wouldn’t notice you were hurting.” Well, he feels slightly better knowing that Leon isn’t the first to make a scene in front of the heads of Kaer Morhen. Releasing an exhausted sigh, Leon allows his shoulders to sag as he leans forward to press his face against Eskel’s chest. Humming, the witcher wraps his arms around Leon and squeezes him tight. “Wanna talk about it?” he rumbles in Leon’s ear. 

“I think I’m all talked out,” Leon admits before hesitating. Turning to where Athanasi is hovering silently, looking more worried than before, Leon regrettably pulls away.

Moving towards the succubus, Leon draws them into a hug. “Are you mad at me?” Athanasi asks meekly. 

Pressing a kiss to their head Leon confesses, “I felt a little betrayed at the start but I understand why you did it. Some warning woulda been nice though.” Feeling Athanasi hunch into themself, Leon pulls back far enough so he can lift their chin and meet their eyes. “I’m not mad at you _en’ca minne._ In factー” he hesitates before plowing forward. “I think I’m the one who should be apologising.”

As Athanasi’s eyes burn with curiosity, Leon steps back so they can find some privacy only to realise that Eskel and Kamil have already discreetly slipped away. Of course they did; they hold the majority of the emotional intelligence in this keep. Guiding Athanasi to a settee further in the library, Leon settles down before opening his arms. 

Athanasi hesitates for only a moment before sliding into his embrace. “It just kinda slipped out. Vesemir made me feel so much better and I thought that he could do the same for you ‘cause I know you still feel tormented about what you did and I haven’t been able to get you to see why you don’t need to be and that’s understandable since I don’t have very good morals andー” 

Leon cuts off their babbling with a stroke of his thumb across their cheek. “That’s what I wanted to apologise for,” he whispers. 

Eyelashes fluttering, Athanasi cocks their head. “Huh?” 

Smiling softly, Leon presses a kiss to their forehead before shifting so their back is secure against his chest. “You’ve tried to reassure me in the past but I always blew you off, thinking that you would of course think I did nothing wrong because you struggled already with morality. But though you had trouble wrapping your head around basics like why stealing is bad and why murdering everyone with some red in their aura is the wrong way to go about it, I haven’t been giving you enough credit.” Leon takes a shuddering sigh before firmly repeating what Vesemir said. “If I hadn’t killed them, they would have gone on to do more harm. And from the stories told in other towns, they wouldn’t have stopped until every villager was under their rule and their ideology was institutionalized.” 

Athanasi nods eagerly before spinning so they’re face to face. “Exactly! See? Sometimes murder is okay!” Laughter bursts out of Leon at how perky Athanasi sounds when talking about murder. 

Smiling fondly at his love, Leon brushes a hand through their hair. They’ve been growing it long like Geralt and must have borrowed a tie from him since it’s loosely pulled back in a messy bun. “Thank you for talking to Vesemir. I…” he shrugs before saying with hushed amazement, “I feel lighter.” 

Beaming, Athanasi wiggles until their head is tucked under Leon’s chin, one of their favourite positions to be in. “While we’re making confessions I should let you know that I didn’t actually pay for that pretty ring," they inform Leon flippantly. 

Leon stares incredulously at the silver jewelry he’s been wearing on his right ring finger before glaring at Athanasi who is gazing at him innocently. “Nasi…” he growls, his scowl wiped off his face when Athanasi pecks his cheek. 

“You deserve nice things and the person selling the rings was very rude to a child looking at his wares,” Athanasi says with a firm nod as though that solves it. 

Huffing out an exasperated breath, Leon presses their foreheads together. “You’re a menace _en’ca minne,”_ he groans. 

Athanasi simply grins at him cheekily. “But you love it!” they chirp. Leon tries to look stern for another moment before he gives up and quirks his lips into a small smile. Gods be damned but they’re right. 

“I’m not breaking you out of a gaol if you get arrested again,” Leon warns, mentally groaning at the memory of that particular adventure from early on in their acquaintance. 

Athanasi’s smile grows impossibly larger. “My knight in shining armour,” they hum, throwing their arms around his shoulders and cocking their head to the side. Leon’s heart warms. Fuck, but they’re beautiful. 

Shifting so they’re lounging back together in a more comfortable position Leon muses, “I think I’ll need to hold onto you for the foreseeable future to keep you from getting into more trouble.” 

Beaming, Athanasi snuggles closer to him. “Oh no! I’m trapped in my favourite place to be!” they exclaim dramatically. Chuckling, Leon presses a kiss to their cheek before settling down with a sigh. Exhaustion suddenly crashes over Leon and he can feel his eyelids grow heavy. Fuck, it’s been a long day. “Sleep my heart, I’ll be here when you wake,” Athanasi whispers in his ear. Humming, surrounded by the sweet smell and warm presence of his love and feeling lighter than he has in years, Leon allows his eyes to drift closed. 

*******

Letho is stomping out of another brutal session with Ewa (and honestly why does he keep going back?) when he runs into Yennefer. “Witch,” he grunts. 

Her eyes narrow. “Viper.” He’s been wondering when they would find each other alone. Well, close to alone considering the looming presence of the Griffin beside her. Letho and Yennefer ran into each other a couple of decades ago, spent several days in bed together. It was a pleasant experience until Letho made one comment about her dress and found himself on the floor as a turtle until she grew bored of him. 

They’ve ran into each other a couple more times since and the sex only got better and her curses more creative. It’s been several years since they’ve seen each other last though. “What are you gonna turn me into this time?” he drawls, ignoring Coën’s raised brow from beside her. 

Yennefer gazes up at him disdainfully. “I’ve found a better witcher to warm my bed,” she hums, before tilting her head as her painted lips curve into a dangerous smile. “But since you asked…” In a flash of smoke Letho finds himself once again on the ground. Releasing a hiss as he realises he has no arms or legs, Letho strikes out at the witch, fangs bared but she steps aside swiftly. Fluttering her fingers at him, she turns neatly before strolling away, ignoring his furious hissing. As she does, Coën stares down at him with an unreadable expression before hurrying to catch up to her. Grumbling to himself, Letho slithers away sullenly, shivering. Not worth it. Might as well find somewhere warm until Yennefer gets bored of her game. 

Coën walks beside Yennefer silently before clearing his throat. “So, you and him…” 

Yennefer falters, flicking her gaze towards Coën. “It was a long time ago,” she mutters, fixing her gaze to the ground as she steers them towards the greenhouse. Licking her lips, Yennefer shrugs stiffly. “Why would I take anyone to bed when they can’t compete with your particular prowess?” she asks airily, relaxing as Coën ducks his head with a shy smile. It never fails to amaze her that such a large man can look so bashful. 

“So why did you turn him into a boa constrictor?” he asks with a raised brow, opening the greenhouse door and gesturing her through. 

Stepping inside the structure where their love bloomed, Yennefer traces a finger across a delicate petal. “He once said that my favourite dress was unflattering on me,” she sniffs. 

Chuckling lowly, Coën comes up behind Yennefer and places his solid hands on her waist, making her shiver slightly. “What a terrible infraction,” he hums, making Yennefer’s lips quirk. Tilting her head back, Yennefer claims Coën lips in a lazy kiss before parting. 

Sighing, Yennefer presses her back against the Griffin. “I’ll change him back once I grow bored of his pouting,” she says carelessly, delighting in Coën amused rumble. Turning in his arms, Yennefer notes with a frown the uncertainty still sparking in his eyes. Well that won't do. “Letho and I did spend many passionate nights together,” Yennefer muses, tracing a finger down Coën chest. She smirks as his peculiar eyes darken and his grip on her hips tighten. Tilting her head back, Yennefer flutters her lashes at the Griffin. “Perhaps I need reminding on why I choose you,” she purrs, crowing inwardly as Coën growls. The mild-mannered witcher has never indicated signs of jealousy or possessiveness before, so this is a delicious discovery. “Well?” Yennefer challenges with an arch of her brow when he only stares at her hungrily. “Care to refresh my memory?” 

Yennefer yelps as with a growl, Coën lifts her up and throws her over his shoulder. “Oh I’m happy to serve my lady,” Coën rumbles darkly, stalking out of the greenhouse and towards their quarters. Yennefer smiles smugly as she’s carried like a sack of flour. Oh, it should be a fun afternoon. 

*******

Despite Letho’s current predicament, his emotions feel more distant and numbed in this form and he can’t help but grow sleepy by the main hearth, the heat seeping through his scales and warming him up. Given his lethargy, Letho doesn’t immediately notice that he has a visitor until he feels a curious nudge against his head. Blinking open his eyes, Letho uncoils himself with a yawn as he faces Alloy. He was given quite the shock when the cat followed him to his decrepit room and climbed atop him a few nights ago. Letho stayed up late, simply staring at the fluffy creature, so small yet so trusting as she purred on his chest like she didn’t recognise him as the predator he is. She’s repeated this each night since, though she’s become increasingly more bitey, tugging at his fingers or his tunic until she grows tired. It’s adorable. (But Letho will stab anyone who claims that he ever thought that.) 

And now she still approaches him, even as a giant snake. When Alloy presses against his warm scales, Letho tentatively coils himself around her, not too tight but just enough to keep her warm. A purr vibrates through him and Letho flicks his tongue out in response. He could stay here for awhile. 

*******

“Why is there a snake curled around Alloy, Dandelion, and Lil Bleater?” Leon asks groggily, staring at the pile by the hearth with incomprehension. 

“Oh that’s just Letho,” Yennefer remarks carelessly as she strolls through the hall looking self-satisfied, arm hooked into Coën’s. 

Leon blinks. “Why is Letho a snake?”

“It’s just a little tradition we have,” she explains with a shrug, and Leon notes with interest how Coën presses closer to her as she speaks. 

He turns back to the pile of animals. “He looks...comfortable?” Leon observes dubiously, as the rest of the keep file into the room. 

Yennefer scowls. “Usually he’s far more put out about this. It’s not as fun if he’s enjoying himself.”

Everyone turns when they hear a whimper. Poor Dagger is shaking, practically glued to Lambert’s side as the Wolf glares at the boa comfortably wrapped around the fluffy creatures. “Dagger likes cuddling the animals during dinner,” Lambert growls. “Get that snake outta there.” Letho blinks his eyes open languidly at the command, releasing a hiss as he uncoils and slithers over to the gathered creatures studying him with a mixture of expressions, ranging from wary to amused. 

Of course, it’s Athanasi who’s the most enthusiastic about the concept of a giant ass snake. “I’ve always wanted to touch a snake!” they squeal, bouncing towards Letho. Leon has to bite back his protests, breathing and reminding himself that Letho hasn’t shown any signs of aggression since that first day. With a flick of his tongue, Letho slithers up and around Athanasi’s neck, the succubus only beaming in response. Petting him Athanasi croons, “You feel so _smooth!”_ Leon stares and tries to quell his panic in the face of his love who is now grinning with a giant snake looped around their neck. It wouldn’t take much to strangle them, but the ensuing seconds prove that Letho doesn’t seem to indicate any interest in being anything but a peculiar-looking scarf. Stroking Letho, Athanasi floats over to the dining table and plops into a seat with a hum. Either because they're used to weird shit happening here or they don't know where to start, the rest of the keep silently follow Athanasi's lead and settle down to eat.

All through dinner, Leon stares incredulously as Athanasi alternates between eating and feeding the snake who is loosely curled around them and lazily tasting the air between bites. It’s...disorienting seeing this massive, intimidating witcher transformed into a massive, intimidating-looking snake who is doing nothing more than using Leon’s partner as a perch. 

Leon’s lips twitch at Yennefer’s pout as she picks at her dinner. Her prank has clearly backfired and has left everyone in the keep eyeing their newest member with growing curiosity. 

There’s no excusing the crimes Letho has committed, but Leon reflects on what Athanasi shared with him about the Viper’s motivations. Vesemir’s right. There’s nothing these people at the keep wouldn’t do to protect or avenge their family, Leon included. Are any of them that different from Letho? Would they go to such ends if they lost their home and family and had a chance to regain it all?

Fuck. Fine, maybe Leon can give the Viper a chance, even if it goes against all of Leon’s protective instincts. Besides, the way that Athanasi is growing attached, it’s not like Leon can avoid the witcher all winter even if he wanted to. 

As dinner ends and is cleaned up, the various members of the keep stand around awkwardly. Usually they would gravitate to the pack room but Letho hasn’t been formally invited yet. Athanasi doesn’t seem to have processed this though, chattering to Letho as they begin the trek back to the room. Lambert opens his mouth to protest before getting elbowed by Jaskier. “Think of it like this: if he’s a snake he can’t say anything that’ll make you want to punch him,” Jaskier says reasonably. 

“I don’t trust him,” Lambert says stubbornly. 

“Then you can keep watch kitten,” Aiden yawns. “Me, I’m ready to pass out. Remind me next time Jaskier asks if I want to spar why that’s a dumb idea.” Leon’s lips twitch as Lambert mutters to himself mutinously before stomping out of the dining hall. Knowing the paranoid witcher, he’s going to take Aiden’s flippant remark seriously. Well, that’s his prerogative. 

Throwing his arm around Leon’s shoulder, Eskel raises a brow as he guides Leon through the entryway. “Are they able to befriend _anything?”_ He asks incredulously, nodding towards where Athanasi is already halfway down the hall with their load. 

Leon barks out a laugh. “Most people can’t stand them actually. Find them abrasive and annoying, or don’t take kindly to them stealing or murdering.” 

Eskel growls as they continue their journey towards their evening destination. “Humans,” he sneers.

“I mean, the stealing and murder part makes sense,” Kamil says diplomatically, hooking his and Leon’s arms together. As for the other reasonsー” he shakes his head with a frown. “I just don’t understand people sometimes.” 

“Hm.” Leon doesn’t have the energy for his usual righteous fury over Athanasi’s treatment, still exhausted from this morning and content surrounded by some of his favourite people. “All the more reason why I wanted to bring them here. Show them what kindness looks like.” He sighs, heart aching at the memory of Athanasi’s inability to think of one kind gesture presented to them in their life. But it’s soothed by the warmth shown to them by the residents at Kaer Morhen, their first day here aside. Leon furrows his brow. Perhaps that’s another reason why Nasi is so insistent they be kinder to Letho; they know what it’s like to be an outcast here. Godsdammit.

When they turn into the pack room, Letho’s head is raised and he’s taking each corner in with a keen gaze, tongue flicking out every few seconds. Leon sighs as he watches several people hesitate as the reality of Letho entering their safe space sinks in. Fine, looks like it’s his turn to be the bigger man. But before he can move forward Ewa marches over to Athanasi and Letho, jaw set with determination. “Don’t think turning into a snake gets you out of working on that pitiful piece of metal of yours,” she grumbles, flicking Letho’s nose when he hisses at her. Leon chuckles at Letho’s ensuing reaction; so that’s what surprise looks like on a snake. 

As his sister settles beside Athanasi, wiggling under some of Letho’s coils, Leon joins the pile, soon followed by Jaskier, plodding over in his shifted form. When Alloy walks up to Letho, she sniffs and nudges at him impatiently until he slithers off of Athanasi’s shoulder to wind around her. Dandelion joins a moment later, and soon everyone is getting comfortable, choosing to simply not acknowledge the giant snake in the room. Except Lambert, who is flicking a dagger in his hand as he glares at Letho while resting against Aiden’s back. Looks like he will be taking watch then. Leon grins as Kamil and Eskel choose to join him, the former shifted and climbing into Leon’s lap while Eskel settles behind Leon. Releasing a satisfied sigh, Leon closes his eyes. Sure, it’s a bit disconcerting knowing a Viper turned boa constrictor is resting right beside him, but that’s what paranoid Wolves are for. Melitele bless Lambert. 

*******

Alloy is so relieved! It’s taken many dark times but she finally convinced two legged hissing one to join the litter. What’s strange is that two legged hissing one has lost his legs and is now just a hissing one. Alloy was nervous at first, thinking he would be mean like some hissing ones Alloy met but Alloy was happy to learn that no legged hissing one is just like two legged hissing one but just with no legs! Alloy is very proud that her plan worked, and is very cozy sleeping next to no legged hissing one, even if she misses his pets. Oh well, maybe next light time no legged hissing one will find his legs and then Alloy will get more pets! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Letho getting cursed into turning into a snake by Yennefer and being aggressively cuddled by the animals and Athanasi is thanks to BookSmartMione and Shruiken87's wonderful comments. Thank you both for the ideas! <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone practices a little thing called communication. Some with fists, some with insults, and some with cuddles. It all works out in the end!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter isn’t as long as the past ones but when I debated between making you wait longer to read a longer chapter vs. releasing a shorter chapter sooner, I went with the latter option. Thanks for the patience! I hope you enjoy :-)

Letho blinks into awareness slowly, disoriented by where he’s found himself. He’s lower to the ground than his shitty bed would place him and upon closer inspection, seems to be perched onto something. Raising his head and swaying at how light he feels, Letho’s memories come rushing back. Flailing, Letho sprawls upon the ground in a mess of coils, disrupting the various creatures he had been wound around all night. 

Several grumbles and indignant meows follow his inelegant dismount but Letho is too distracted to care, taking in the room in the light of day. So this is where they disappear to each night. Letho heart spasms as he drinks in how casually intimate the entire keep is with each other, even Lambert slouched in his watch position now drooling on Geralt’s shoulder. He’ll gladly remain a snake all winter if it will give him a chance to get even a fraction of the affection everyone showers upon each other without hesitation. 

Letho amends this thought a moment later with a hiss as he’s unceremoniously picked up like a sack of flour. When he notices whose hands are wrapped around him though, Letho relaxes. Athanasi’s smile is bright as usual as they beam at Letho. “How are you feeling this morning Letho?” Lacking the appropriate vocal chords, Letho pointedly flicks out his tongue. Athanasi simply nods solemnly. “Yennefer, would you be so kind as to turn Letho back please?” they request sweetly. Letho mentally rolls his eyes. The witch doesn’t take orders, no matter how politely they are given. 

“Only for you little flower,” Yennefer drawls. What? Letho’s eyes widen in panic as in a puff of smoke, he begins to transform back. Aw, shit, he knows how this ends. Once he lands in a graceless and very nude heap, Yennefer whistles. “Nice to see you haven’t changed a bit where it counts Viper,” she smirks, ignoring Geralt’s yelped, “What?” Letho glares at the sorceress before startling at the brush of fabric by his hand. Looking down, he blinks into the face of one of the shifters holding a pair of trousers in their mouth. This one’s brownish so...it must be Jaskier? 

“My thanks,” he nods before slipping them on hurriedly. He’s not a modest man, far from it, but he also values his life and his prick. Something tells him that if he lets everything dangle for too long one or more of the members of the keep will gladly take advantage of his vulnerability. Tying the trousers and ignoring how the tight fit leaves nothing to the imagination, Letho strides out of the room with the remaining tatters of his dignity. He could use a meal now that he has a regular sized stomach once again. And the sooner he leaves the sight of the keep’s residents curled up together the better. It was easier to be affectionate last night because no one questions an animal seeking touch, not even a snake. Now, despite the convenience of being on two legs again, Letho can’t help but feel a pang of loss. That was probably his one and only opportunity to feel a gentle touch for the rest of the damn winter. 

Letho startles for the second time in one morning when someone grabs his arm. Whirling towards them, Letho snatches their hand only to realise it’s Athanasi once again. Sighing, he drops the offending limb and turns back down the hall. “When are you going to learn that touching me without notice ends badly for you?” he growls. 

Letho feels like a prick when Athanasi’s face falls. “Oh dear, I forgot that consent should carry to all kinds of touches, especially with people who have been hurt before,” they fret. 

Letho bristles at the implication. “I’m not some kinda delicate fuckin’ flower,” he sneers, increasing his pace and watching with annoyance as Athanasi effortlessly keeps up. 

“Of course you’re not Letho,” Athanasi says smoothly. “But you deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and care.” 

Letho stumbles slightly before releasing a humourless laugh. “Funny joke succubus,” he mutters, averting his gaze. A scowl crosses his face when Athanasi steps in front of Letho, walking backwards as they stare at him with a stubborn tilt of their jaw. “Got something more to say?” he challenges, pushing forward and watching, vaguely impressed, as Athanasi maintains the pace even backwards. 

“Yes I do Letho of Gulet,” Athanasi answers in a growl, which, coming from the ordinarily perky succubus, is disorienting. Stabbing him in the chest with a finger Athanasi lectures, “You have done bad things that you need to make up for but as long as you work to be a good person you deserve good things.” Letho stops in his tracks, staring at the finger brazenly touching _him,_ the _kingslayer,_ before lifting his gaze to the blazing emerald eyes of the creature before him. Feeling a surge of irrational anger flare through him, Letho silently shoves them aside, studiously avoiding their hurt expression as he flees down the hall. Panic like the grasping fingers of a nekker claws at him from all sides but he buries it, coaxing the flames of his anger up instead. He’s too distracted by his inner turmoil to register that he’s being followed into his room until he slumps onto his bed, scattering his potion’s materials. 

“I don’t like you,” the blacksmith states, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe. Letho grunts, turning to sort through his herbs, itching to sharpen his weapons instead. “But Nasi likes you,” Leon sighs, strolling into Letho’s room and making him stiffen. The only other person who’s entered here is Athanasi. Despite how shitty the place is it’s still _his_ until someone says otherwise, and Letho doesn’t want people entering without permission. A knowing glint flickers in Leon’s eye, shrouded by a darkened glare. “And now they’re huddled between Lambert and Aiden, trying to figure out what they did wrong to make you _push them aside_ and storm away,” he snarls. 

Letho bites back a flinch, pausing his mindless activity to meet Leon’s gaze. “How do you handle it?” he eventually rasps, searching for an answer in flashing amber eyes. “How do you handle their kindness?” Leon’s expression softens at Letho’s words before he takes a seat where Letho has carelessly brushed aside his materials to make room. Letho watches him as Leon fiddles with a ring on his right hand, eyebrows furrowed in a contemplative frown. “It can be painful at times, no?” Leon whispers. Letho can only nod jerkily. He didn’t know kindness could burn as fiercely as a whip until now. 

He clenches his fist and jaw in an attempt to contain the swirl of emotions in his chest, the phantom caresses from last night so freely given taunting him like spectres of the dead. “I don’t-” 

“No, you don’t deserve it,” Leon interrupts flatly. “But no matter how many times you insist this, they will have several arguments to prove the contrary.” A smile flickers across his face. “Eventually you give up fighting it.” 

Letho studies his hands with a frown. He has...mixed feelings about his past actions. Though he didn’t regret them in the moment, seeing them as necessary for his ultimate goal, in retrospect Letho feels a sense of creeping shame. He killed innocents, killed people who only wanted to help others. And all for nothing. He has to live with that. But Athanasi makes it sound so simple. Just try to be a better person and you deserve good things? What kinda bullshit is that? 

“You’re not the first to have killed without remorse, not the first to kill innocents, not the first to wonder if he deserves kindness. So why don’t you skip the whole agonising over what you deserve bullshit and go to the great hall, cuddle and apologise to my partner, and eat your damn breakfast?” Leon says bluntly before rising to his feet. 

Letho barks out a laugh, studying the blacksmith offering a hand to him. Straight to the point, no nonsense; he’s certainly related to Ewa. Letho can’t help but appreciate it. Shaking his head, Letho accepts the gesture and pulls himself up. “As you wish,” he quips, chuckling at Leon’s eye roll. What a strange fucking lot.

*******

Athanasi soaks up the affection being showered on them by Lambert and Aiden when the great hall doors open. Jumping to their feet, Athanasi stares worriedly at Letho. They don’t know what they said to upset him but they are determined to make it right. Letho strides over to Athanasi, face blank as Leon strolls beside him looking relaxed. When they get closer Aiden and Lambert rise with matching growls, causing Letho to pause a solid metre away. “I’m sorry for upsetting you little spitfire,” Letho grunts. “You did nothing wrong.” Relief washes through them as Athanasi gazes up at sincere golden orbs. Ignoring their protectors, Athanasi launches themself into Letho’s arms, humming when the Viper eventually recovers in order to return the hug.

Athanasi ignores the growl from behind them, used to it by now, but Letho draws away to raise a brow at Lambert. “Got something to say to me Wolf?” he asks idly. 

“Oh, right! You were going to find a compromise so Letho can help with my knife-wielding too, right?” Athanasi confirms with a hopeful grin. 

Whatever expression is crossing Lambert’s face now causes Letho to chuckle. “So, we gonna fight over this Wolf? ‘Cause I’m sure I can beat you even without a weapon.” 

“A demonstration! What a marvelous idea!” Athanasi enthuses, clapping their hands together before yelping when someone tugs on the back of their collar. “You’re not gonna wanna get in the middle of that Nasi,” Aiden says dryly. They turn to pout at Aiden who only raises a brow, clearly not fazed by their expression. Sighing, Athanasi allows themself to be guided to the dining table. Oh well, they are sure Lambert and Letho will be able to settle on a solid training plan for them. 

*******

Yennefer sits silently as Coën braids her hair in their bedroom. He’s been quieter than usual this morning, and she’s been waiting for him to express what’s on his mind. Coën is such a deep, conscientious thinker, sometimes it takes time to come up with the words. Finally, as he works to wind a tangle of braids to the top of her head, Coën clears his throat. “You know I never wish to trap you, my love,” he rasps. 

Yennefer furrows her brow as a calloused finger brushes aside a stray lock. “Oh?” she replies vaguely, for lack of a better response. 

Carefully pinning her braids together, Coën blows out a breath. “What I mean is that if you grow tired of me, if the flame you feel for me extinguishes, I will not protest you leaving.” 

In seconds fury burns through her like fire through a dry forest. Whirling to face Coën, Yennefer rises to glare down at him. “You are that much of a coward?” she seethes. “You wouldn’t even attempt to fight to keep me? What kind of loyalty, what kind of _love_ is that?” Her Chaos crawls across her skin, desperate to be released, but Yennefer clenches her jaw, forcing it to stay contained. 

Coën rises slowly, blood-shot eyes wide with something akin to panic. “Watching you leave would be like ripping my heart in twain,” he insists, hands raised in an act of peace. Yennefer just sneers, yet Coën takes a step forward. “But watching you wither in a relationship you no longer wish to be in would poison my heart until it was a shriveled husk.” 

Yennefer can’t believe this. How dense can this fool be? Stabbing his chest with a finger Yennefer growls, “Do you honestly believe I would be anywhere, do anything, if I didn’t wish to? Did I not make it clear in your early days of courting that I would not be easily swayed?” Coën averts his eyes, clouded with shame, but that only stokes Yennefer’s anger. “Well?” she demands, shoving at Coën’s chest and distantly surprised when he stumbles back. “What do you have to say for yourself?” 

Coën simply gazes at her with mournful eyes. “I see how you look at him. You two have a past I do not wish to intrude on.” 

As Coën’s words wash over her Yennefer allows her jaw to drop. Part of her wants to laugh hysterically. The other wants to tear out this fool’s eyes. For fuck’s sake. “Did you not trust me when I said I was no longer interested in him?” she asks dangerously. 

Coën shrugs, eyes downcast. “If you said that simply to assuage me you need not.” Yennefer releases a muffled screech. Motherfucking cock. Why why _why_ are men so thick-skulled? 

Grasping the sides of Coën’s face and dragging him down to her eye level Yennefer hisses, “Listen to me you dense, chivalrous _prick._ This isn’t some _passing fancy_ for me till something better comes along so either fully _commit_ and _trust_ when I say you’re mine or _get the fuck out of my face.”_ Yennefer releases him with a huff as she ends her speech, but Coën has yet to take a breath, staring at her wide-eyed. “What?” she asks, exasperated when he still doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. 

Finally, he licks his lips, and Yennefer doesn’t quite know what emotion is reflected in those peculiar, soulful eyes. “That was quite a pronouncement,” Coën eventually croaks, taking a slow step forward. Yennefer feels her cheeks heat as a simmering sense of panic grows in her chest at how much she bared of herself in just a few words. Before she can flee however, a roughened finger traces a path down her cheek and back up and over her ear. The simple gesture causes her to freeze as though she is restrained by magic, and she stares up in his gaze that now burns with a fire she has never seen. “I’m sorry I doubted your sincerity and commitment in this relationship, my love. It won’t happen again.” 

Yennefer swallows, looking down and brushing off some nonexistent fluff from her dress. “See that it doesn’t.” 

*******

Athanasi shifts on their feet with uncertainty, keeping an eye out for Lambert or Letho or both. They never joined breakfast and Athanasi thought that it was because they decided to go to the training field early instead but they aren’t here either. “Aiden, do you think they’re alright?” Athanasi asks with an anxious frown, turning to the Cat lounging on the ground and balancing a knife point on his finger. Ooo he’ll have to teach that trick later! 

Humming, Aiden squints into the dull winter sun. “If they don’t show up in the next 10 minutes it’s safe to say they’ve killed each other,” he determines with a noncommittal shrug. Athanasi gapes at the witcher who is treating the subject of his love’s potential demise so flippantly.

“How can you be so calm about this?” they ask, frantically searching for any signs of the two men. 

Rolling to his feet languidly, Aiden flips his knife and sheathes it. “Because it’s Lambert,” he replies, as though that answers anything. Though…tilting their head thoughtfully, Athanasi supposes that it does provide some enlightenment.

Fortunately, a few minutes later Lambert and Letho stumble out of one of the buildings Athanasi hasn’t visited yet. Unfortunately, they’re both covered in blood and bruises. As Athanasi gasps and hurries over to them, Aiden releases a long sigh and follows at a far slower pace. 

“Are you okay? What happened? Did you do this to each other?” Athanasi babbles, fluttering their hands before the two men while Aiden tosses a rag at Lambert’s face. 

Glowering at the Cat, Lambert turns to Athanasi sullenly. “Needed to have a talk,” he grumbles, wiping the blood off his face. 

Athanasi simply gapes at him. “What kind of talk was this? Why are you both so bloody and bruised?!” 

Letho and Lambert exchange an unreadable glance before studiously avoiding Athanasi’s gaze. “We, uh, wanted to see who was best suited to train you,” Letho mumbles. 

“And?” Aiden prompts, lips twitching. 

Lambert glares at him. “The Viper can help,” he grits out after a weighted silence. 

Athanasi turns back and forth between the two men, attempting to process what they’re saying as Letho fruitlessly attempts to wipe off some of his blood with his ruined tunic. “You...fought over who could train me?” they clarify slowly. At their matching nods Athanasi rises to their full height. “Well I don’t know what your Schools have taught you but when someone asks for your help they don’t wish to see you beat each other to a bloody pulp! I don’t know if I want either of you to help me now!” As Letho and Lambert’s faces shutter closed Athanasi curses themselves. Drawing them into a three-way hug Athanasi grumbles, “This is your warning. Fight again and I'll have Aiden be the only one to help me instead.” Pulling away once they nod, Athanasi plants their hands on their waist. “Now I want you to clean each other up, apologise, and not do this again. Think of Dagger!” they exclaim, for added emphasis, watching Lambert wince. 

Muttering to themself, Athanasi paces away, Aiden strolling beside them. “If you knew they were beating each other up why didn’t you stop them?” Athanasi asks the Cat plaintively. 

Aiden arches a brow at them. “Again, it’s Lambert,” he remarks dryly, causing Athanasi to huff. “C’mon, I’ll show you some dirty moves not even those two oafs know," he coaxes, throwing an arm over Athanasi with a mischievous grin. After a moment Athanasi allows a smile to spread across their face. Oh, revenge will be sweet.

“Well now what?” Lambert grumbles, crossing his arms with a petulant huff. 

“I believe they said something about cleaning each other off?” Letho prompts with a raised brow. Rolling his eyes, Lambert stomps off toward the springs, Letho like a shadow slipping behind. A whimper off to the side stops Lambert in his tracks before he enters the building though. There, Dagger, softer yet no less spiney over the past few days, gazes up at him with wide red eyes. 

Crooning, Lambert falls onto his knees and opens his arms for his girl to shuffle into with a whine. When she starts to lick his wounds though, Lambert pulls her away. “No no no, none of that girl, I don’t want you getting blood in your mouth,” he murmurs, rising and resuming his walk despite her vocal protests and attempts to latch onto him. Grinning down at her Lambert purrs, “I guess this means you’ll be getting a bath too?” 

He has nearly forgotten the Viper in the face of Dagger’s mopey expression until Letho rumbles, “Do you know what she is?” 

Bristling, Lambert glares at the prick. “She’s Dagger and she’s mine and if you lay one finger on herー” but before he can finish his threat Letho’s hands are raised in an act of peace. 

“I was just curious little wolfy, sheesh.” 

“Don’t use that name near Jaskier,” Lambert says automatically, ignoring Letho’s curious gaze. “And call me that again I’ll stab you in the bollocks,” he adds belatedly, making Letho scoff. 

“I would take Athanasi’s threat seriously if I were you,” Letho hums. 

Lambert grumbles to himself. “I’d take Aiden and his fancy ass tricks over your cheap moves any day.”

“You’re just still pissy that I nicked you after you blinded me with that cloud of dust,” Letho points out.

Lambert chooses not to respond, stripping off his bloody clothes and slipping into the spring with a sigh. He smirks up at where Dagger has stubbornly remained on the edge, eyeing the pool like it’s a kikimora’s nest. “Hand me that soap?” Letho requests as he slides in with a groan. Ignoring him, Lambert floats over to where Dagger is shooting him a look heavy with distrust. “Thanks Wolf, so kind,” the Viper mutters behind him. 

Launching out with practiced ease, Lambert snags Dagger by the neck and throws her into the pool so she splashes onto Letho with a yelp. Turning to face matching looks of wet displeasure, Lambert plucks up the soap floating in the pool with an inquiring brow. “Can I help you two?” Dagger has somehow managed to scramble partway up Letho’s torso in an attempt to escape the water, and now her shivering spines completely hide Letho’s glower from Lambert’s sight. “You know, I would give you the soap back but you seem to have your hands full,” Lambert helpfully observes, earning a growl. 

“I’m keeping your dog Lambert,” is the mutinous reply.

Lambert just rolls his eyes. “No one keeps Dagger, she’s a strong independent magical creature who does whatever the fuck she wants. Isn’t that right girl?” Lambert grins as Dagger’s tail thumps against Letho’s neck, the tone he used impossible for her to ignore. Sure, seeing the Viper’s grimy arms all around her is causing Lambert some significant pain, but he knows that if he was even close to a threat Letho would have several new holes poking out of him by now. If Dagger seems to be cool with him, then Lambert can probably start to lay down his guard. Especially after witnessing Letho fight with nothing but a stick. Now Lambert knows why he never protested too loudly when Vesemir confiscated his weapons; he doesn’t need them to be an utterly ruthless bastard. Yet Letho hasn’t attempted an attack since that first day. Lambert huffs out a breath as Letho tentatively brushes a hand through Dagger’s spines. Yeah, he can probably give that prick a chance. Worse comes to worse, Lambert gets to stab him again. Oh, what torment that would be!

*******

“What, no snake tonight?” Geralt asks Letho as he trudges into the great hall later that evening. 

The Viper’s eyes widen while Yennefer’s roll. “That sorcerer was an amateur Geralt. You really think I would be sloppy enough to _permanently_ shift someone?”

When Letho continues to look confused Jaskier helpfully supplies, “Geralt was turned into a wolf after a run in with a sorcerer. When Yennefer assessed that it would be too dangerous to fully reverse it, she pushed him to be a full shifter.” Ah, that’s one more mystery solved. A twinge of disappointment swirls in Letho’s gut at the pronouncement though. There goes that chance. Of course, he could always try insulting the witch again but there’s no way of knowing how she would retaliate after a second infraction.

“Don’t worry, we can still snuggle tonight, even if you’re not soft and scaly,” Athanasi says brightly. What? Letho eyes the various members of the keep carefully, expressions ranging from ambivalent to resigned, before returning to Athanasi's hopeful smile. Oh. 

Smothering the burst of hope bubbling in his chest, Letho shrugs. “If you want,” he replies vaguely. 

Beaming, Athanasi tugs Letho to a seat beside them. “Brilliant!” they chirp. A small smile cracks across Letho’s face. He can’t help it; the succubus’ enthusiasm is contagious. Ignoring the weight of everyone’s eyes on him, Letho ducks down and begins to eat. But he can't ignore the longing in his gut, aching more strongly as he gets closer to something he has lacked for so long. Letho wishes he could skip right over dinner, afraid they’ll change their minds after having time to contemplate welcoming Letho in the room. But no one mentions it, hardly anyone acknowledges him. 

As chatter and laughter fill the hall, a new type of longing surges through Letho’s chest. It’s greedy, he knows, but Letho wants this. He wants to be able to tease Geralt as he misses his mouth, too distracted by Ciri’s retelling of her battle with a royal wyvern; wants to laugh along to Jaskier’s improvised song about Leon’s failed attempts to glass blow, wants to chime in on Eskel and Vesemir’s debate about a sonnet written long ago. He wants to be part of this family. Letho sighs, swallowing the last bit of meat that now tastes like dust in his mouth. Though Letho is right beside all the members of the keep, it feels as though a chasm separates them from him. If he tries to cross it, will he fall? Or will someone catch him? Is it worth the risk? 

Letho is pulled from his musings as Ewa nudges him, pointing and laughing as Kamil and Lambert launch into a heated debate about the proper fletchings for an arrow, using their utensils as models. Letho allows his lips to twitch. Yeah, it might just be worth it.

 *******

Dagger is being brave again. Dagger can be brave. Dagger is a brave Dagger. Dagger presses against pointy gentle one and takes a deep deep breath. Big big one is in the den this dark time and big big one is scary and hurt her pack but big big one also gave good pets and made pointy gentle one show the human sign of happiness and now big big one is cuddling warm soft one and warm soft one is nice and gives good pets so maybe big big one is okay. Dagger makes her way towards big big one and the other two leggeds near big big one. Big big one turns to Dagger and Dagger nudges him before pressing back against pointy gentle one. Dagger is ready to go pointy if she needs to but big big one shows the human sign of happiness and then reaches out his paw and other two leggeds in the den have done that before so Dagger inches forward and presses her head to him and then big big one starts to give pets! Dagger’s tail begins to wag. She likes pets. And even though big big one is big big he doesn’t have any pointy things so Dagger moves closer and closer until she plops on top of big big one. Now she’s getting scratches from the other two leggeds too and Dagger feels herself grow softer and smaller. Big big one is just a new member of her pack, that’s all. And just like the rest of Dagger’s pack big big one likes pointy things but will take care of Dagger. That’s very good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Pointy gentle one:** Lambert  
>  **Big big one:** Letho  
>  **Warm soft one:** Athanasi


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letho makes some important steps into being part of the pack, Athanasi will give Geralt an aneurysm, and Leon and Ewa are siblings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM ALIVE I PROMISE. I am so sorry for the delay dear readers but work has been kicking me in the ass and shows no sign of waning. This fic isn’t abandoned though, as you can see. I dearly hope you stick with me, even if updates continue to be slow. Thank you for your patience! And I sincerely thank everyone who continues to comment. You have no idea how grateful I am for every single comment I receive, especially now that it’s harder to find the time to write. Thank you my loves and I hope you enjoy this latest update!

After Letho spent his first night in the pack room on two legs, things began to shift. Not overnight, and certainly not smoothly, but still. For one, Lambert and Letho begrudgingly decided that they were both competent enough to help Athanasi train. Other than the occasional stabbings, they are fairly civil about the whole thing. And Letho begins spending more time in the common spaces, helping with cooking and repairs and spending time with the various fluffy residents of the keep. Yet besides the evenings, he still kept his distance, watching the others from the outside. 

This doesn’t surprise Leon; he did the same when he first arrived. Even if things were civil, he felt like an outsider, an intruder. It took a lot of coaxing from several of the keep’s residents for him to allow himself to be part of the pack fully. So of course Letho is going through the same experience; Leon is perhaps the one who understands that the most. “You know I almost killed Ciri before I met the rest of the keep,” Leon says casually, walking up to where Letho is watching Lambert and Jaskier fight over the last of Marya’s biscuits. This is one tradition Letho seems the most hesitant to partake in: the eating and subsequent fighting over biscuits. Perhaps it’s too familial for him. 

Turning mid stroke (Lambert kicked up a fuss the first time Dagger went to Letho for pets), Letho raises an eyebrow. “And they still let you enter?” he asks. 

Laughing, Leon rubs the back of his neck. “Worse. Jaskier came to the forge and _invited_ me to winter at the keep.” Leon grins at Letho’s incredulous stare. “If there’s one thing this pack is good for, it’s giving people second chances. And, when they determine that you aren’t a threat, that you give a fuck about them, they let you in.” Leon smiles at the Viper. “Try a biscuit and play a round of Gwent tonight. Jaskier cheats shamelessly and it’s fun to watch Geralt’s face turn red.” 

And with that seed planted, Leon claps Letho on the shoulder and strolls away. Speaking of Geralt, he should check on how the poor Wolf is doing. Training Athanasi on how to be a stablehand has not quite gone how Geralt expected, Leon believes. Athanasi has caught onto Geralt’s instruction disturbingly fast. Disturbingly because having a mounted steed has allowed them to be a bigger menace than usual. 

As Leon strolls into the courtyard he finds Geralt waving his arms wildly as Athanasi gallops circles around him with a giant smile plastered on their face. Leon snorts at the image, causing Geralt to whirl around and hurry to him with a concerning gleam of desperation in his eyes. “Please for the love of all that is holy, tell your partner to _slow the fuck down_ before they break their neck,” he pleads.

Leon crosses his arms, raising an unimpressed brow. “You think _I_ can control them?” he demands as Athanasi whoops and speeds by Leon, causing his cloak to flap in their wake. Throwing his arms up in the air, Geralt stomps into Athanasi’s path, making them yelp and swerve out of the way. Reining Biscuit in with a murmur and light tug, Athanasi dismounts with a grace that makes Leon’s jaw drop. 

“Geralt, I could have ran you over,” Athanasi says crossly, setting their hands on their hips. Leon releases another snort at the picture of the stout succubus glaring up at the glowering witcher. 

Growling, Geralt grasps Athanasi’s shoulders. “We were meant to work on cleaning hooves today,” he lectures. “I turn my back on you for _one second_ and you’re tearing through the keep!” Leon bites down on a chuckle. It’s not too often that someone other than Jaskier makes the great White Wolf so frazzled. If Leon’s awe and slight intimidation of Geralt wasn’t annihilated his first winter here when he stumbled upon the witcher practically purring in Jaskier’s lap as the bard washed his hair, this current image would surely do it. 

Despite Geralt’s chastising, Athanasi looks unfazed, one could even say unimpressed. “Biscuit was feeling restless,” they defend, patting the horse with a fond smile her way. “I thought she could do with a little exercise.” 

And just like that, Geralt’s resolve crumbles like everyone’s always does around Athanasi. “It’s hard for younger horses to stay cooped up all winter,” Geralt mumbles. 

“Good thing you have me then!” Athanasi chirps before gently leading Biscuit to the stables, giggling as she lips at the loose strands of their hair. 

As the pair walk away, Leon walks up to Geralt to give him a conciliatory pat on the back. Sighing, Geralt turns to shoot Leon a rueful smile. “They’re a terror,” he remarks. 

Leon snorts and shakes his head. “At least they have _some_ impulse control now,” he retorts, delighting in Geralt’s wide-eyed terror at the implication. His expression softens almost immediately as Geralt turns to watch Athanasi croon in Biscuits ear and remove her bridle. 

“I’m thinking of gifting her to them once winter’s out,” Geralt murmurs, causing Leon to stare at him in shock. Shrugging awkwardly he explains, “I know she’ll be in good hands. Besidesー” and now he looks almost wistful. “They remind me of when I first got Roach.” It’s only from one of Jaskier’s drunken ramblings that Leon understands who he’s referring to: Geralt’s first horse, however many decades that was. Clearing his throat Geralt says gruffly, “They’ll be good to her,” before hurrying away, his head ducked down. 

Leon can only blink dumbly in his wake. Damn. He had no idea Geralt felt so highly of Nasi. As the shock wears off, Leon huffs out a laugh. Athanasi will be ecstatic, of course. But then he releases a groan. Now they’ll definitely make Leon learn how to ride; Nasi’s pestering for Leon to accompany them for their lessons has increased in frequency over the weeks. Gods be damned, he was given two legs for a reason! It’s unnatural is what it is. 

Leon’s still grumbling to himself as he enters the forge, and Ewa pauses her hammering to shoot him an unimpressed look. “Who pissed in your soup?” she asks. 

Moaning, Leon walks until he can lean his forehead to the back of his sister’s neck, reveling in the scent of flame and coconut and the tickle of her braids at his nose. “Geralt is gonna give Nasi Biscuit and now I’ll never escape their insistence that I learn how to ride,” he bemoans. 

Leon scowls as Ewa’s frame shakes through her cackling. Setting aside her work Ewa presses her face into Ciri’s shoulder, who had wandered over from where she was petting Dandelion to investigate what the fuss is about. “Can you imagine?” Ewa wheezes. “All of those gangling limbs flailing as he tries to hold on?” 

Leon crosses his arms with a huff and leans against the corner, glaring at his callous sister. “I should’ve known better than to have expected some sympathy from you _eimyr minne,"_ he sighs, smirking as Ewa’s mirth suddenly drains away and Ciri shoots Leon a curious glance. 

“Eimyr?” she inquires. Ciri has heard Ewa and Leon converse in their mother tongue before and know enough not to pry, but this is the first she’s heard a solitary word that sounds so much like a name cross one of their lips. And there’s a reason this particular name hasn’t been spoken in front of Ewa’s love, who is arguably as much of a shit as she is. 

Whirling towards Leon Ewa hisses, “You sworeー” “It means-” Before Leon can get the word out Ewa releases a screech and launches herself at him. Ducking away, Leon rushes out “hedgeー” but the rest of the word is cut off as Ewa kicks him in an incredibly sensitive spot. Falling to his knees as he cradles his crotch Leon finds himself pinned and smothered by his twin. Flailing as Ewa presses her hand to his mouth, Leon recalls one of his latest lessons with Marya, winding his legs around Ewa and flipping them over, dislodging her grip on him in the process. 

Gasping in a breath he shouts, “Hedgehog!” before a punch in the gut makes him lose all of his breath once again. 

Soon Leon is being assaulted by a flurry of punches that aren’t even at half strength as Ewa seethes, “Youー _sworeー_ on pain of _deathー_ that you would _never tell her.”_

“That was before you mocked my pain,” Leon retorts, only slightly breathlessly, as he allows his sister to pummel him further. 

“I assume there’s a story I’m missing?” Ciri remarks dryly, smirking as she leans over the pair. 

Ewa freezes and stares at Leon. Leon stares back. “Don’tー” “It all started when we were 7ー” is all Leon gets out before he discovers that Ewa’s partner has been teaching her some new moves apparently.

*******

“And that is why, little flower, when in doubt, aim between the legs,” Yennefer finishes with a flourish of her brush. Athanasi nods with a hum, eyes obediently closed as the sorceress finishes doing their face paint. When they’re finally allowed to blink their eyes open, Yennefer brandishes a hand mirror and Athanasi beams at the sparkle of blue around their eyes. Jumping up, they draw Yennefer into a hug. “Thank you!” they exclaim, happy to see that Yennefer doesn’t stiffen up nearly as much as she used to in the face of being hugged. “Will you do my hair next?” they ask hopefully. Yennefer’s painted lips curve into a smile before she presses a kiss to their forehead. “Only for you little flower,” she says indulgently.

“Why do they get pampered but I don’t?” Jaskier pouts when the pair stroll into the dining hall later that evening. 

“Because Athanasi has never called me a duplicitous hag,” Yennefer responds sweetly. 

“That was over a _decade_ ago!” Jaskier protests, stomping his foot as he does. 

Athanasi was very confused at first by the way Yennefer and Jaskier treat each other before Leon explained that it was a bit like how he and Ewa will treat each other at times. “Oh, so they love each other like siblings!” Athanasi had exclaimed. 

Leon’s eyes had widened at this pronouncement before they flickered around the room as though searching for spies. “Never imply that to their faces or we’ll have another incident,” Leon had hissed. He still has never clarified what incident he was referring to. From Athanasi’s short time at the keep, there seems to be a lot of them. 

Speaking of Leon, he, Ewa, and Ciri walk through the door not a moment later, the former two looking as though they’ve been dragged through the streets by a particularly angry ox and the latter looking terribly amused. “What happened to you two?” Lambert demands from where he’s slouched against Eskel. 

Ewa and Leon turn to each other and do the silent conversation thing that Athanasi has come to believe only siblings are capable of doing. “We had a disagreement,” Leon claims after a drawn out silence. 

“It musta been a big one to get Ewa glaring at you like you broke her favourite chisel,” Kamil says, voiced tinged with amusement. Athanasi tilts their head to study Ewa closer. Huh, she does look slightly murdery, they suppose. 

“He did, in fact,” Ewa says, voice sounding far too sweet given her current expression. “And if he doesn’t want to lose one of his _bits,_ he’ll know better than to touch my tools in the future.” 

“I feel like I’m missing something,” Letho mutters to himself from where he’s watching the standoff and setting the table for dinner. 

“Best not to speculate asshole,” Lambert says cheerfully, clapping Letho on the back with perhaps a tad too much force. Athanasi beams at the exchange. It’s nice to see those two getting along better now that they’ve agreed to help Athanasi learn how to fight. Though there has been a lack of knife juggling in recent weeks with Letho’s addition. No matterーAthanasi has a feeling that once they’ve mastered the blade a bit better, juggling will become far more smoother for them. They’re happy to wait in that case. Though it is funny to watch Leon's eye twitch. 

Letho eats slowly as he eyes the various inhabitants of the keep and the overlapping chatter they engage in as usual. They all fit together so seamlessly and here Letho is, stepping into their lives like a poorly fitted wheel on a wagon. He’s been mulling Leon’s words over all day though. It’s true the majority of the animosity he faced at the start of his time here has more or less melted away. Vesemir had even returned his weapons to him last week, though not without a list of particularly terrifying threats considering how serenely he made them. 

But Letho can’t help but continue to stand on the outside. Well, except for at night of course. It goes unspoken and unacknowledged, the affection he craves and can’t help but reach for under the cover of darkness. He only does so with a select few of the keep’s inhabitants, grateful that they lean into his touch rather than flinch away. Though he never does more than press against them, despite Letho practically itching to wrap and be wrapped in an embrace once again.

But gods, to just curl up near another warm body again has soothed something in his ragged heart. With each year that pulled Letho further and further away from the remembered touch of his brethren, another piece of his heart chipped away until var Emreis picked up the remaining pieces with a gleam in his eye and promised Letho the world. Fuck, he was naive, desperate...pathetic. If only his old masters could see how much he was played for a fool. They woulda whooped his ass before drawing him into a crushing hug and call him a foolish snakelet. 

Letho’s grip tightens in Alloy’s fur at the barrage of memories before he forces his fingers to relax and return to petting the feline. He continues to do so as he takes another bite of mutton, the juicy meat helping bring him back to the present. Letho’s never been so well-fed during the winter months since his School was ripped away from him. It’s a relief not to experience that clawing ache that comes from too much muscle and not enough fat. 

Lambert’s bellowing laugh forces Letho to tune back into the conversations flowing around him, and when he sees where Leon and Ewa are now wrestling on the floor, Letho turns an enquiring glance toward Jaskier. “Leon was about to eat a biscuit when Ewa ripped it from his hands and ate it whole with a glare that would make a royal wyvern consider before attacking,” the shifter chortled, reaching greedy fingers out and snagging a bite for himself. Shaking his head, Letho smiles to himself. It’s nice to talk to Jaskier; after the first few weeks where the shifter would watch Letho with wary eyes, they found common ground through hunting. Even if Letho wasn’t allowed to carry a weapon at first, he was permitted to help haul in the kills. It said a lot about Jaskier’s competence when no one blinked an eye at the thought of leaving the two to hunt on their own. The ease in which Jaskier incapacitated Letho has not been easily forgotten by the Viper. 

But the long walks, first in silence when Jaskier would remain shifted the whole trip and eventually through stilted conversation on Letho’s part led way for a strange sort of camaraderie Letho hasn’t taken lightly. The first night Jaskier approached Letho on the rug he had curled up on, he had frozen mid-stroke from where he was petting Dandelion. Over the next few nights Geralt and then Ciri made their way over, to Letho’s shock and gratitude. 

Yet he’s still kept himself at a distance during the daylight hours and evening meals. The careful peace seems too fragile to be broken. But perhaps small steps can be made. Reaching out for a biscuit, flicking his gaze to Marya to make sure he was permitted, Letho says casually, “Perhaps a game of Gwent tonight?” As he takes a bite of the biscuit he can’t help the moan that slips out. “Fuck these are good,” he mumbles, stuffing the rest of the biscuit in his mouth before reaching for another. 

“About time. I was beginning to take insult to your lack of interest in my biscuits,” Marya says lightly.

Letho swallows his mouthful before inclining his head. “I see I have been sorely deprived these previous weeks,” he demurs.

“Now there’s the proper appreciation I deserve,” she declares, turning an imperious gaze on the rest of the assembly. “The rest of you are a pack of ungrateful wolves.” 

“I take insult to that,” Aiden drawls, licking his fingers daintily. 

“As do I!” Kamil huffs as he fruitlessly tries to steal the biscuit that’s halfway in Geralt’s mouth. 

Rolling his eyes, Jaskier bumps Letho’s shoulder before nodding towards the rug. “Let’s see what you’re made of,” he smirks. It's at that moment Letho distantly recalls Leon’s warning about Jaskier’s game of Gwent. Resigning to his fate, he goes to dust off his deck. He can already tell he’s gonna regret this. 

Long after Letho’s coin purse finds itself several crowns lighter and Ewa and Leon have been forcibly separated, the keep’s residents amble their way out of the dining hall. Eskel and Kamil had been shooting each other heated glances all evening so it’s no surprise to anyone when the pair slip away. The rest of the keep stumble through the doors in various states of drunkenness, Ewa and Leon leaning against each other murmuring in the tongue they rarely speak around others. Based on their tone of voice, whatever spat they seemed to be having couldn’t have been too serious. Especially considering how blasé and outright amused Ciri has been throughout it all. 

As they all pile more or less on top of each other, Athanasi asks permission before feeding from the content bodies surrounding them. Now that they’ve discovered that they can become essentially drunk this way, Athanasi enjoys indulging when the rest of the keep has done the same with alcohol. Humming and snuggling further in the splayed limbs, Athanasi picks up Leon’s drooping head, turning between him and Lambert before nodding determinately. “You would look good with a beard,” they declare before rubbing their face against Lambert’s winter ruff. 

“MY beard,” Aiden protests, winding his arms around Lambert’s torso and rubbing his face insistently along the patch that isn’t currently claimed by Nasi. 

“I’m shaving this off tomorrow,” Lambert decides, utterly mortified before starting at the cacophony of protests. “It’s my face y’know!” he reminds the room at large. “I can do what I want with it.” 

“No,” Aiden claims before licking a slobbery line across Lambert’s face. “Now it’s mine and I say you keep it.” Lambert blinks dumbly, numb from shock at the reality that the bastard just fucking _licked_ him. 

“You got someー” Ciri gestures with a smirk towards Lambert’s chin where _yes,_ he can _feel_ the saliva dripping down it thank you you insolent squirt.

Grabbing Aiden’s tunic, Lambert wipes his face thoroughly before shrugging the loose-limbed Cat away. “You’re sleeping in the corner tonight,” he grumbles, his resolve immediately crumbling when arms snake around his waist. Sighing, Lambert begrudgingly leans back into the embrace. “You’re making up for that tomorrow,” he mumbles. 

“Whatever you say kitten,” Aiden purrs before immediately passing out. Rolling his eyes, Lambert shoves his idiot lover down so they can get comfortable, brainstorming what he can make the Cat do to earn his forgiveness. Hmm. So many tantalizing options. 

As the various drunken and tired members of the keep begin to slip off to sleep, Letho tentatively winds an arm around Athanasi, under the watchful eyes of Leon. Humming Athanasi snuggles closer to Letho and rubs their face against his chest. “Knew you would make a good pillow,” they mumble. Swallowing, Letho raises his other arm with what he hopes is an inviting expression. 

But before Leon can slip under it Ewa elbows him out of the way and clambers over Letho’s chest. “You don’t get the giant pillow tonight for being a lying cheating wanker,” she grumbles. Letho stiffens as Ewa curls to him with a sigh. He doesn't want to get in between the two bickering siblings. 

Rolling his eyes Leon climbs over Letho as well so he can curl against Ewa’s back. “You had it coming laughing at my pain you heartless hag.” 

Letho is relieved when Ewa snorts in response, turning to nuzzle against Leon’s neck without releasing Letho’s arm she has somehow claimed. “Night little bro,” she murmurs. 

Huffing out a laugh, Leon kisses her forehead. “Night big sis.” As the few who know of all the blood on his hands rest peacefully in his arms, Letho wraps around them, illogically wishing to cocoon them and hide them from the world. Warmth curdles in his chest and Letho comes to the sudden realisation that he would kill every king on this bloody Continent to keep those who live behind these walls safe. Huh.

*******

Biscuit curls next to mama biscuit as she thinks. Biscuit likes careful one lots but Biscuit is sad because only mama predator and papa predator stay during the warm time. The rest of the herd goes away. Will careful one also go away? Careful one is Biscuit’s friend. Biscuit likes feeling careful one’s hooves gently guide her or groom her. Biscuit thinks she’ll miss careful one if careful one goes away. Maybe Biscuit can convince careful one to stay? Huffing out a breath, Biscuit snuggles closer to mama biscuit. Sometimes it would be helpful to speak two legged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was very tempted to write the origin of the hedgehog nickname but then found it far more entertaining for myself to make you all speculate on your own because honestly there are quite a few possibilities I’ve played with. 
> 
> I feel far too clever about the smithing pun I slipped into Ewa’s dialogue when everyone is asking what Leon did to make her look at him like that. Have I been reading far too many blacksmith articles whilst writing this fic? Very possibly. 
> 
> YES A BABY SNAKE IS ACTUALLY CALLED A SNAKELET AND WHEN I DISCOVERED THIS FACT I WAS BEYOND DELIGHTED.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The winter is coming to an end, so it's time for some gifts and some words of love.

For the first time since his family was irrevocably taken from him, Letho is sorry to see the winter fade. He’s found refuge within the crumbling walls of Kaer Morhen, solace. Fondness in Athanasi’s guileless smile, amusement at Leon and Ewa’s sibling rivalry, challenge in Lambert’s sparring matches, entertainment in the evening rounds of Gwent with Jaskier, warmth when he inevitably finds multiple bodies wound around him, shamelessly using him as a pillow. Fuck he’s gonna miss these fools. 

“Why do you look like Kamil tricked you into giving him your biscuits again?” Jaskier asks with amusement, plopping beside him to sharpen his sword. 

“He seemed too sweet for that,” Letho grumbles mulishly, still bitter at how seamlessly the little fox tricked him. 

Laughing lightly Jaskier shakes his head. “No one can escape a winter here without being at least a little bit of a shit.” Humming, Letho returns to his own sword’s care, raising an eyebrow when Jaskier bumps their shoulders. “So? What’s got you looking so put out?” he prompts. 

Sighing, knowing Jaskier is as bad as, well, his shifted form with a bone when he wants something, Letho squints into the late winter sun. “Frost is nearly melted.” 

“Ah.” Placing his sword down with reverent hands, Jaskier turns so he’s fully facing Letho, even if Letho continues to avoid his gaze. It’s difficult being under the full attention of the bard; blue eyes too piercing and too sympathetic for his sanity. “You know you’ll be welcomed back again, right?” Jaskier asks, clasping a hand onto Letho’s shoulder. 

Letho is tempted to bristle at Jaskier’s soft tone but instead slumps into the touch. “Yeah, ‘course,” he lies. Sure, none of the earlier animosity remains between the keep’s residents and Letho but he knows better than to expect a good thing to happen to him more than once. 

Humming sceptically, Jaskier picks up one of Letho’s hands. “I’m lucky enough to travel with my love,” Jaskier murmurs, flipping Letho’s hand over and tracing his palm. “But I remember what he was like when he had no one, when the only companion he had on the Path was Roach and the sneers of those he helped.” Letho swallows around a dry throat, knowing he definitely can’t meet those discerning eyes now. “I know it’s little solace for the loneliness of the year, but I hope the promise of returning to our home will give you some reprieve.” 

Heart clenching far too painfully for words, Letho simply folds his fingers over Jaskier’s before squeezing in what he hopes the shifter understands is thanks. Clearing his throat, Letho rises smoothly. “So bard, up to a rematch without any fangs this time?” Letho asks with a challenging smirk. 

Chuckling lowly, Jaskier picks up his sword and faces Letho with a bloodthirsty smile. “You’re on.”

*******

“I knew you would look good in a beard,” Athanasi says happily, rubbing their hands over Leon’s jaw as they lounge in the springs. After several weeks, Leon’s developed a proper bush and it’s been getting impressed stares all around the keep. Even Ewa managed to compliment him. Of course, she followed it up with a smirk and an insult, but that’s to be expected. Besides, Leon got his payback by putting her into a chokehold. Even with all of her new fighting skills, Leon’s height will thankfully always put him at an advantage.

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, Leon ducks around Athanai’s grasping fingers before wrapping his arms around their stomach. “Enjoy it now because once spring fully hits it’s coming right off,” Leon says, smiling softly at Athanasi’s pout. “Believe me love, a beard in a hot forge in the spring would be a miserable time all around,” Leon remarks wryly, breaking into a full grin when Athanasi releases an exaggerated huff. 

“If you say so.” The next few minutes pass in contented silence, Leon shifting them so he leans against the edge of the pool with Athanasi pressed along his chest. Surrounded by the heat of the spring and the sweet smell of his love, Leon finds his eyes drifting closed while Athanasi sinks further into his embrace with a sigh. Dancing their fingers up and down Leon’s arms, Athanasi calls his name. “Hmm?” he yawns. 

Leon can feel the edges of Nasi’s smile as their face presses against his chest. “I was going to ask if we could go on a picnic this evening but perhaps we should go to bed early instead,” Nasi teases. 

As their words register through Leon’s foggy brain he attempts to shake the drowsiness out of his head. “Picnic?” he mumbles, nosing along Nasi’s neck and grinning as they giggle. He has to stifle another yawn as he does though. Damn that’s the last time he agrees to a Gwent tournament with a bunch of witchers. The sun was nearly rising by the time Lambert took the crown and _gods_ can that man be insufferable when he wants to be. 

Turning in his embrace, Nasi throws their arms around his neck and grins up at Leon, head tilted slightly. Hair damp and standing on end from where they had been running restless fingers through it and cheeks flushed from the heat, Leon can only blink dumbly into Nasi’s dancing eyes and dimpled smile. Gods but they’re beautiful. “Yes, Ewa has helped me learn how to cook and I wanted to spend the evening with you now that the evenings are getting warmer,” they say eagerly. So _that’s_ where they and Ewa would disappear to. And here Leon thought they were simply plotting new ways to torment him. Considering their latest adventure consisted of Nasi, Ewa, and Lambert attempting to juggle knives between the three of them, perhaps it’s been a mix of both. 

Leon allows a smile to spread across his face as he tucks one of Nasi’s loose strands behind their ear. “I would love to Nasi,” he murmurs, heart clenching as their smile somehow grows. 

“Good,” they hum, snuggling closer to him until their ear is pressed to his heart. As Leon stifles another yawn, they add with amusement, “Perhaps you should nap first though. I might take it as an insult if you fall asleep in the middle of our meal.”

Mumbling his agreement, Leon wraps his arms more securely around his love before sinking down a bit further. “Don’t let me sleep through training. Marya will make me race Jaskier again and then I definitely won’t make it to the picnic,” he yawns. 

Stroking soothing fingers along Leon’s cheeks, Athanasi presses a soft kiss to Leon’s forehead. “I promise I’ll wake you. Now sleep my heart,” Nasi whispers. And with a final hum, Leon dozes off.

*******

“Athanasi.” 

“Hmm?” they prompt as they continue to groom Biscuit. Geralt pauses his own grooming to move into Athanasi’s line of sight. “I want you to have her.” Her? Athanasi furrows their brow, looking around the stable to figure out who Geralt is referring to. When they see no one, Athanasi turns back to Geralt with a frown to watch him gesture to Biscuit. “She’s grown and I know Vesemir and Marya would take care of her well but you two have bonded. I want you to have her.” 

Athanasi drops their brush in shock and gapes at Geralt. “You want me to have Biscuit?” they ask hoarsely. 

Geralt smiles at them softly, stroking a hand through Biscuit’s mane as she bumps into his chest. “You remind me of how I was when I first got Roach,” he murmurs, placing his hands on either side of her head as she nickers and nudges at him. Rolling his eyes, Geralt digs into his pockets for the carrot he had hidden. “Though you spoil her more than she deserves,” he grumbles, making Athanasi gasp indignantly. 

“She deserves all the spoiling in the world!” they exclaim with a glare, snatching the carrot from Geralt’s grasp to feed it to her with a soft murmur. “Don’t listen to the grumpy witcher, good girls like you deserve all the treats,” they croon. 

Ruffling their hair despite their resulting squawking, Geralt grins down at Athanasi. “Case in point. I know you’ll treat her well.” 

Athanasi’s indignation falters as they stare up at Geralt, stomach fluttering. “You truly want me to have her?” they breathe, hope blooming through their chest. After a winter grooming, tending, and riding Biscuit, Athanasi wasn’t spending too much time thinking about having to say goodbye to her, it was too painful. They are not used to having something or someone they would miss. 

Geralt’s large, sword-calloused hand takes Athanasi’s from where it clutched their heart. “There’s no one else I would want,” he murmurs. Geralt releases a quiet “oomph” as Athanasi throws themselves at him, but he recovers quickly enough to return the hug. “You’re gonna be a great stablehand little one,” he says into their ear. 

“Thank you Geralt,” Athanasi replies fervently before puling away with a giant grin. “Now I’ll _definitely_ be able to teach Leon how to ride!” Stealing the carrot they know was hidden in Geralt’s other pocket, Athanasi moves over to Roach. “Thank you for letting me have your daughter. I promise I’ll take care of her with all of my heart,” they vow, pressing their forehead to Roach’s nose. 

For the rest of the afternoon, Geralt and Athanasi linger in the stables, the witcher quizzing the succubus and Athanasi hitting every answer on the mark. As they go through the familiar motions of tending to their horses, Athanasi’s grin doesn’t falter for one moment. They get to keep Biscuit. They get to keep Biscuit! This is certainly going to get on the list of Athanasi’s favourite days. 

*******

When Leon steps into the dining hall, freshly washed after another brutal training session, he’s greeted by Athanasi in a stained and mussed dress, hair and eyes wild as they attempt to carry two furs and a basket overflowing with food towards the door. Hurrying over before this leads to disaster, Leon swiftly removes some of Athanasi’s load before licking his thumb and wiping off some stray sauce from Nasi’s cheek. “Are you alright _en’ca minne?”_ Leon asks, looking at Nasi fondly. 

“Leon! Perfect timing! I think I have everything,” Athanasi chatters with a firm nod, resettling the furs in their arms. 

“Oh?” Leon responds with a grin. 

Frowning down at themselves Athanasi mutters, “I should probably change though. I think I’m slightly messy.” 

Pressing a kiss to their cheek Leon says honestly, “You look beautiful.” 

Emerald eyes shine up at Leon, a small smile dancing on Nasi’s lips. “I believe you are slightly biased,” they point out. 

Shrugging, Leon moves towards the door. “So what if I am?” he replies haughtily. “Doesn’t mean I’m wrong.” Coming up beside him with a grin, Athanasi takes the lead, clearly having a destination in mind as they exit the walls of the keep. They catch each other up on the rest of their day as Athanasi strides purposely through the forest until they pause in a clearing that provides a perfect view to the night sky. Delicately placing a fur upon the ground, Athanasi settles onto it before patting the spot beside them. 

Setting the basket down in front of them, Leon sits and wiggles close to Athanasi while they throw the fur around them both. “Now Ewa helped me make this and taste-tested it and told me that it’s edible so hopefully everything tastes alright,” Athanasi frets as they unload the food. 

Snagging one of their hands, Leon presses a kiss to their knuckles. “Even if it was tasteless I would love it because you made it for me,” Leon murmurs, delighting in Athanasi’s blush in the moonlight. 

“Flatterer,” they grin, returning to their task. Leon’s stomach rumbles as venison, rabbit, dried fruit, and what looks like pilfered biscuits emerge from the basket. 

“Marya’s gonna know you stole those,” Leon points out blandly. 

“She won’t care, I’m her favourite,” Athanasi claims with the confidence that comes from being adored by a keep full of witchers, shifters, and animals. Rolling his eyes, knowing that not even Nasi can escape Marya’s ire, Leon reaches for a bite of rabbit before having his hand slapped away. Blinking up at mischievous green eyes, Leon raises a brow silently. 

“Before we eat I have some things to say,” they announce. Shifting so they are face to face, Leon gestures for Athanasi to go on. For a long moment they both seem to get lost in each other’s eyes, matching besotted smiles gracing their lips. “I am thankful for those bandits,” Athanasi eventually says softly. Leon’s brows knit together in confusion before Athanasi takes a breath and continues. “If I was not held hostage by bandits all those months ago, I would not have been rescued by you. I would not have learned what love and kindness feels like. I would not know what it’s like to feel safe, to be protected and warm. I would still feel that gnawing hunger, never truly full. I would still be forcing myself into situations I loathed with my very being. I would still be alone,” they say, voice cracking on that final word. 

Leon realises he hasn’t breathed through Athanasi’s speech and now takes a shaky breath, unable to look away from those bright shining eyes. Athanasi grasps Leon’s hands, kissing one and then the other. “Thank you for saving me, not just from the bandits, but from an existence I found myself trapped in. Despite all the auras swirling around me, my world was grey before I met your eyes.” Leon’s eyes flutter shut as Athanasi draws their thumbs over his eyelids before framing his face. “So guarded yet full of emotions I had no words for,” they whisper. “And your aura. So shadowed yet full of light. 

“You were a dichotomy I had no answer to, a puzzle I was desperate to solve. But as I got to know you, I realised you are far more than that. You are warmth and laughter and pain and sorrow and passion and love. You are all the wondrous words and emotions I know and those that I do not. You are my guiding light, my shining moon, and I will thank the gods every day for whatever power brought you into those woods that night.” 

Athanasi’s eyes widen as Leon feels tears streaming down his cheeks. “I have made you sad?” they fret, frantically wiping away the tears. 

But Leon shakes his head, grasping their wrists gently before allowing a watery smile to spread across his face. “They’re happy tears Nasi,” Leon chokes out. “They’reー” he shakes his head again, taking a shaky breath. “You are a poet _en’ca minne_ youー” Leon growls to himself as his words fail him. “No one has said such words to me, no one has made my heart fill with so much love I fear it will burst out of my chest.” 

Leaning forward to press his forehead to Athanasi's, Leon laces their fingers together. “You say I am your guiding light but you are the sun that has burned away the shadows of my soul," he breathes, before more words start tumbling out. "The warmth in your eyes could banish the most bitter cold and your kindness shines brighter than the north star. My soul was slumbering until you woke it up with your smile. I was numb before your touch ignited my senses and enveloped me in your embrace.” Leon draws away so he can gaze into those eyes that drown him in their love. “I believe my parents sent you to me,” he croaks. 

And now Nasi is crying too and Leon can’t help himself. A question in the brush of a thumb over lips, an answer in a nod, and they are kissing, a kiss that tastes of salt and sunlight and love. It is their longest kiss to date, lips chastely brushing against each other, hands gripping the other as though they fear they will sip away. 

When they finally part, Leon and Athanasi shift so that the succubus is tucked under Leon’s chin, both of their arms wrapped around each other in a desperate embrace. “Thank you Pallavi and Teuvo,” Athanasi whispers to the night sky. Leon closes his eyes and releases a shaky breath. He told Athanasi their names on a night like this, alone and wrapped around each other as their hearts beat as one. He has not heard their names spoken by another since their deaths, and a sweet sort of pain runs through his heart as Athanasi’s words fade into the night. 

They remain entwined for the rest of the evening, hearts too full to move, even to eat. 

*******

The next day is the warmest it’s been so far, and the witchers exchange solemn nods before they begin packing up. It’s time to return to the Path, return to the duty they did not ask nor volunteer for but that they will fulfill nonetheless. There is always a kind of solemnity that clouds this day, the reminder that one of them may not return the next winter in the forefront of their minds. Even with Yennefer’s beacon, they know that even magic can have its limits. 

Athanasi watches the proceedings with wide sorrowful eyes. By unspoken agreement, each witcher pauses their preparations to spend some time with the succubus. They know what it’s like, having to say goodbye to those you care about. It’s even harder when you are unused to such an experience. 

Dinner that night is a feast, full of laughter and teasing and wrestling and Gwent and music. It’s joyous, as every member studiously banishes their fears of the coming spring to revel in one more night together. The moon is high in the sky by the time they all file into the communal room, leaving no space between each other. Multiple bodies pile upon others, as the impending separation weighs on them all. Whispered words only spoken under the cover of darkness are passed around like precious jewels as furry bodies squirm for a place in the entwined bodies. 

Though they are loath for the night to end, eventually the merriment and drink and warmth banishes the looming promise of goodbye until each member of this wondrous family fades to sleep. 

Letho is the final one to close his eyes, unwilling to lose this quite yet. That emptiness in his soul and the hollowness in his heart have slowly begun to fill again, only for him to lose it all once more. Even with the promise of returning next winter, the loss of this sense of fulfillment, this blooming love for those around him weighs heavily. He doesn’t want nor need a partner like everyone else in this keep. But he needs _them._ He needs the easy affection and steadfast camaraderie he has found within these crumbling walls. He needs their smiles and laughter and teases and touch. 

Well. Nothing to be done. Tightening his grip on the several bodies sprawled across from him, Letho breathes in the smell of family and coaxes himself to slip off to sleep.

*******

Everyone is gathered by the gates of the keep, saying their farewells, when Yennefer strides across the courtyard in blooming emerald robes. “Before you depart,” she announces, brandishing two tiny objects familiar to those who have been here before. “This is a beacon. We all have one. It will give your location when activated if you are ever in trouble.” Letho stands frozen as Yennefer places it to the back of his medallion with brisk fingers. “Make sure to hold it for at least three seconds,” she murmurs before turning to Athanasi and repeating the gesture on their pendant. 

Letho lifts his medallion to stare at the tiny, innocuous item. Speechless, heart twisting and pulsing, he looks up at her and nods. “Thank you,” Letho rasps, smiling weakly as Yennefer rolls her eyes. And with that, he nods to each of the members of the keep. “Thank you for your hospitality and for allowing me a second chance,” he murmurs. “I am truly grateful.” 

Letho stiffens before relaxing as Athanasi barrels into his chest. “Take care of yourself and remember what I said about your aura.” They pull back with a smile. “Your aura is not fixed. With each act of kindness, that blood will fade away.” Throat constricting at the reminder that this peculiar creature believes he can be redeemed, Letho squeezes their hands and turns to go. 

“Make sure to make it back here in the winter asshole. I’m not done kicking your ass yet,” Lambert calls. 

Turning with a smirk, Letho drawls, “Hopefully after a year of practice you’ll get closer to such a lofty goal.” And with a softer smile to the rest of the assembled keep, Letho continues on. 

“Wait.” Ewa strides forward, placing a dagger in his hand. 

Looking down, Letho balks at the familiar crooked dagger he laboured on under Ewa’s sharp eye. “This is literally unusable,” he protests. 

Ewa smirks. “Think of it as a reminder of us. And of the fact that you’re a shit blacksmith.” 

“Once again, I never _asked_ to train to be a blacksmith,” Letho says with exasperation, lips twitching despite himself. Staring down at the token, Letho tightens his grip on it. “Thank you,” he whispers, watching Ewa’s smile soften. 

Punching him in the arm, Ewa nods. “See you in a year my incompetent apprentice,” she says cheerfully. Shaking his head with a smile, Letho tucks the knife into his belt and begins his journey. He’ll miss the little shit. Maybe he’ll have to visit her and Leon’s forge. Letho’s sure that his armour will need mending at some point during the year. And why wouldn’t he go to the best in the business?

*******

Once Letho leaves, it’s only a matter of time before everyone else ties up their loose ends and begins the trek down as well, some in groups, some in pairs. Soon, it’s only Geralt, Jaskier, Ewa, Athanasi, and Leon left. Geralt and Jaskier decided to travel with the twins and succubus to give Athanasi some more practice with riding Biscuit in the open. It’ll give Geralt some time to offer some last minute advice before he returns to the Path. 

Marya and Vesemir remain stoic as always as they say farewell to the last of their pups. The fear of it being their last goodbye never leaves them, but Marya and Vesemir are used to it at this point. After final hugs all around, Marya and Vesemir watch at the gate as the group travels down the mountain. Another winter filled with warmth and love and light has passed, but another winter will come soon, and hopefully it will bring with it every one of their family unharmed. Until then, at least they have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummm I honestly can’t tell if that picnic scene was super cringey and cliche or romantic and a good kind of sappy so I would be grateful for some feedback? On another note, I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think there’s only one chapter left??? Thank you as always for reading and commenting!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year has passed since a succubus and blacksmith met in a forest of bandits. Where are they now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your patience! Between work, life, and some writing grief in the face of saying goodbye to this story, it was tough to get this chapter done. I have a longer note at the end but I didn’t want to keep you all waiting more than I already have. So without further ado, I give you the final chapter of Take Me for What I Am!

It was always odd settling back into their routine after spending a winter at Kaer Morhen. With Athanasi now working a job, it's a tad odder but definitely better. When Athanasi approached Bartek, the main stablehand at the stable closest to the forge, the old man was sceptical of their skill. But a winter under the guidance of a witcher literally obsessed with horses proved to work in Athanasi’s favour and they were hired on the spot after they demonstrated some of their knowledge. Every day Nasi comes home with hay in their hair and a smile on their face, chattering away about the alternate names they gave whatever horses they tended to that day. (They rarely approve of an owner's name for their horse. Roach is secretly named Honey Cake.) Some days, it's hard to remember that this is the same creature Leon met a year ago. 

It has been almost a year, hasn't it? Damn.

Leon is in the middle of brainstorming how to celebrate this milestone when he’s rudely interrupted. “Hoping you could tell me where to find a good blacksmith around here,” a voice drawls as heavy footsteps stomp into the forge. 

Ewa grins and places down her tongs, turning with a raised eyebrow to the looming figure in the doorway. “I certainly don’t see any in front of me,” she says, crossing her arms with an unimpressed sigh as Letho releases a snort. 

“Once again, I have no interest in becoming a blacksmith,” he says with amused exasperation, striding forward to clasp Leon’s arm with a nod before turning with a questioning brow towards Ewa. Smirking, Ewa moves forward for her own greeting before stepping back with an expectant expression. 

“Well? What can we do you for?” Leon prompts, leaning against his work area. 

“Got some armour I need mended and looking for someone to make me a new sword. You two seem to know what you're doing soー" Letho cuts himself off with a shrug. Leon’s eyebrows shoot up and he and Ewa exchange a disbelieving glance. From what they’ve come to understand, it takes a lot for a witcher to need a new sword, and some special ore is required in order to make one. Not to mention, making a witcher's blade takes a huge amount of skill and craftsmanship. For Letho to be trusting them with this is quite the honour.

“You have the materials?” Ewa finally asks. With Letho’s affirmation, Leon nods. “Where are you staying?” 

At this Letho’s face closes off. “Gonna head to an inn once I make my order,” he responds gruffly. 

Leon just rolls his eyes. Emotionally stunted witchers. “You’re staying with us and no that’s not a request,” Leon states firmly. It’s only because he was looking so closely that Leon can spot Letho’s shoulders slightly relax. With that resolved, Leon wipes his hands on a rag. “I’ll show you where we are so you can drop your stuff off. Andー” Leon shoots a grin behind his back as he leads Letho out the doorー “You may want your horse tended to by our local stablehand.” 

*******

There are few things more comical than a witcher being hugged by an overenthusiastic succubus. Even with a few months of practice, Letho’s arms flail before returning the hug, his eyes go wide before softening, his shoulders tense before relaxing. It’s quite a sight to witness. 

As Athanasi chatters away, touring Letho around the stable, Leon stands back to watch with a small smile. They’ve really settled into their position in the past few weeks as Bartek slowly gave Nasi more and more responsibility. Now, in a pair of loose trousers, a green tunic with rolled up sleeves, and hay sticking out of their hair as they croon over Letho’s stallion and untack him, one would never guess that the succubus has only been working here for a few months.

Leon catches Letho’s small smile out of the corner of his eye as the Viper listens attentively to Athanasi. The succubus softened something in Letho; Leon doubts the winter would’ve gone as smoothly as it did without their presence. Makes him wonder how much the witcher actually needed a new sword. Well, if Letho needed an excuse to visit, Leon won’t fault him for it. With the bitter loneliness of the Path, Leon can imagine how soothing it would be to have the full attention of Athanasi on him. 

That evening the four of them head to a tavern, Athanasi glued to Letho’s side as Leon and Ewa watch on with amusement. Letho is in the midst of sharing the tale of one of his latest contracts when Leon tenses. Five humans lazily twirling rusty weapons stroll into the tavern, eyes narrowed and expressions haughty. Fuck, he thought Jakub and his gang finally left town. Guess that was too much to hope for. The group of pricks stormed into Hagge two months ago, acting like they owned the place, and it’s taking all of Leon’s effort to convince Athanasi not to kill them. If they were in another town Leon would be more lenient considering how their auras look, his own sense of morality seeming to grey the longer he spends with Nasi, but they can’t risk killing anyone in Hagge. This is Leon and Ewa’s home, imperfect as it is. 

“I see you’ve added a new member to your group of freaks,” Jakub sneers, making Leon want to punch him in his pudgy splotchy face more so than usual. He watches warily as Athanasi tenses and turns, hand reaching towards their dress pocket where they keep one of their daggers. Dammit, he’s tried to keep the gang away from Nasi but this could finally push them over the edge. When Letho turns as well, Jakub scoffs. “Of course you got a bloody witcher with you too. Why am I surprised?” 

Maksym spits at Letho’s feet. “Unnatural beast.”

Leon swallows as Letho rises slowly. Though he only witnessed Letho sparring after those first few scuffles, Leon has no doubt about the Viper’s ruthlessness. He earned the Kingslayer title for a reason after all. “We got a problem here?” he asks dangerously as Athanasi tugs on Letho’s arm to try to get his attention. 

Daria sneers. “It’s bad enough we got some filthy half-bloods here and whatever unnatural thing that one is,” she hisses, nodding towards Athanasi. That all too familiar fire surges through Leon and he jumps to his feet with a snarl. Fuck it, let Letho tear them to pieces, Leon will gladly help. And considering his stormy expression, Leon is certain Letho will strike any moment now. People don’t know what Nasi is exactly, but they give off a particular...aura for lack of a better word...that makes others wary. Wariness Leon can handle since Nasi is usually oblivious to such a subtle emotion. But direct insults hurt them more than threats of bodily harm ever could. Rounding the table, Leon strides over to Athanasi and presses against their side before readying his fighting stance, fingers twitching towards his dagger. Without looking, he knows Ewa is lined up beside Letho. These fuckers don’t stand a chance if they try anything.

But Leon blinks dumbly when instead of launching at the group of bigoted pricks Letho crosses his arms with a sigh, expression smoothing out to something more neutral. “You know, I find it odd that you call us freaks and beasts when you’re the ones interrupting the lovely meal me and my companions are enjoying," he muses. Spreading his arms wide, Letho tilts his head. “Now usually I wouldn’t hesitate shoving your heads through the walls of this fine establishment for your remarks, but then I’d probably have to leave without finishing my ale,” he remarks conversationally.

Until this point, Letho wore a benign smile, but now his face darkens as he lashes out his arm, grabbing Daria by the throat. “So here’s what’s gonna happen,” he hisses, yellow eyes flashing. “You’re gonna apologise to my friends and then scurry away like the yellow-bellied cowards you are. And if I see you around here again, I won’t be so fucking lenient.” As Letho releases his grip, Daria falls to the ground, clutching her throat and gasping. He throws her a look of pure disdain before scanning the rest of the gang. “Any objections?” he asks, voice amiable once again. When he’s greeted with only silence, Letho gestures lazily. “So? That apology?” 

Daria rises on shaky legs, face twisted with utter hatred, her blonde hair tugging out of its braid. “Apologies,” she grits out, before turning on her heel and stalking off. The rest of the gang mumble under their breath before fleeing as well, Jakub the last one to leave as he shoots them all a contemptuous glare. Leon watches them go, limbs trembling with unreleased adrenaline. He turns his incredulous gaze on Letho as the witcher calmly sits down, downing his ale before turning back to his meal. Lacking any other option, Leon, Athanasi, and Ewa follow suit, Leon moving his meal to the other side of the table so he can sit beside Athanasi and wrap his arm protectively around them. 

“So. What the fuck was that?” Leon asks calmly once Nasi relaxes into his hold and Leon feels some of his fury start to recede. 

Letho shrugs, chewing thoughtfully and nodding to the barmaid who silently refills his ale. “Been trying to follow what our little spitfire advised me. Don’t always lead with violence, work to be kinder to others…” he trails off with an awkward shrug, eyes downcast. Leon feels pride surge through his chest, for Letho but also for Nasi. Perhaps his lessons around curbing their violent impulses have been more effective than he thought.

At the witcher's confession Athanasi perks up, the cloud of sorrow dispersing as they stare intently at Letho. A grin spreads across their face slowly as they trace a finger down Letho’s face. “It’s working,” they breathe, causing Letho’s eyes to flick up and widen. Their gazes meet for a long moment before Athanasi nods firmly. “I will be giving you many cuddles tonight,” they announce. 

Letho’s gaze flicks to Leon’s with uncertainty. “This isn’t winter little spitfire,” he starts, before Leon interrupts him with an eye roll. 

“We’ll put our pallets and furs on the ground. Nothing we haven’t done before.” The relief in Letho’s face makes Leon’s heart ache. Poor man; the Path is far too cruel. 

*******

That night Ewa collapses atop Leon with a shit-eating grin and Leon returns it, though his is softer. There have been many nights in their lifetimes where one of them would creep into the other’s bed and curl up beside them, needing to hear a heartbeat, to see an uninjured face, in order to fall back to sleep. 

The first time Ewa awoke with that need after Athanasi arrived, she hesitated by their bedside with a hand on Leon's shoulder. Fortunately, Leon has always been a light sleeper. Cracking open an eye and spotting her haunted and tearful expression in the candlelight, Leon forced his mind to work. Their beds only had room for two, so after a sluggish brainstorm, Leon gently lifted up Athansi from where they were wrapped around his back and dragged the pallet onto the floor. Ewa’s face crumpled with relief before she turned and followed suit with hers as well. Once Leon placed Nasi back on the ground and grabbed their blankets, he and Ewa settled onto the floor as well. With a grumble and a blind fumble for a blanket, Athanasi sleepily rolled until they were plastered against Ewa’s back. As Leon and Ewa laid down face to face, Leon silently raised Ewa’s hand and pressed it against his heart. “I’m here _eimyr,”_ he whispered, drawing out a watery smile from her. 

“I hate that stupid nickname,” she sniffed. 

Leaning closer to press a kiss to his sister’s forehead he teased, “Liar.” The twins slipped off to sleep not too later, hands twined together and pressed against each other's hearts. 

Leon is pulled suddenly from his memories when evil fingers sneak under his armpits to attack. Squirming desperately away from his tormentor Leon whines, “ _Why?!”_

“You were ignoring me little bro,” Ewa grins down at him, doubling down on her tickling. 

Growling, Leon renews his struggle to dislodge his irksome load. “I was just imagining how peaceful my life would be without a bloody wanker of a sister!” he exclaims. 

“Leon, take that back!” Athanasi gasps, making Leon thud his head against the floor in defeat. 

Fortunately, Nasi’s interjection makes Ewa snort, pausing her torture to giggle into Leon’s neck. “Yeah Leon, be nice to your poor sister,” she cackles. Rolling his eyes, Leon turns a beseeching gaze to Letho who’s busy ignoring the antics and instead petting Alloy with a soft smile. Clearly the only one in this place with any common sense. As Ewa calms down, Athanasi and Letho join the pile, the succubus happily sprawling atop Letho, forcing a disgruntled Alloy to shift over. Once they all get comfortable, they whisper in the dark, reminiscing about the winter, sharing tales from the past few months and stories they recall as children. But eventually, everyone’s eyes grow heavy and, with scattered yawns and the gentle sound of purring, the group drifts off to sleep. 

*******

Letho ends up staying for a couple weeks as Leon and Ewa work on his new sword. While he waits, he travels around accepting local contracts. (And the fact that Letho completes contracts with his allegedly broken sword just proves that needing a new sword was a flimsy yet expensive excuse for seeing them all again.) Understanding that Letho needs the excuse, no matter how ridiculous, Ewa and Leon keep their thoughts to themselves though. It’s nice having the big oaf around and the last thing they want to do is scare him off. Fortunately, things have settled down since his arrival; Jakub’s gang seems to have made themselves scarce and since story of the confrontation spread throughout the town, Letho is greeted with equal parts respect and fear. (Apparently the respect is new so Letho’s enjoying himself.) 

Leon and Ewa lose track of time as they eagerly dive into the design and creation of Letho’s sword. They’ve made plenty of swords in their time but never one for a witcher; it takes more concentration and care than their usual commissions. That’s why they’re both ready to snap at the person who barges into their forge suddenly before they hear what they came for. “Your friend! He’s been surrounded by that group of pricks,” Idalia, a girl who likes to loiter in the forge and shower Ewa and Leon with questions gasps out. 

Leon’s blood runs cold. “We’re gonna talk about your language later,” he says distractedly, checking that his knife is still on his waist before setting aside his work and racing out, Ewa close behind him. 

Of course the fools circled Letho in the middle of a town square, giving Leon disturbing flashbacks to the tales of the Butcher of Blaviken. They can’t have such a public confrontation; the consequences could be catastrophic. Leon releases a tired sigh. He should’ve known this was gonna happen. There’s nothing more dangerous than a bigot with wounded pride. 

“Hey dickheads!” he shouts, smirking when his insult catches the gang’s attention. “I vaguely recall my friend here warning you to scram,” he comments, strolling up to them casually, only stiffening slightly when he spots Athanasi scurrying out of the stable, attracted by the noise. 

“Well you see your boy here is nothin’ but a rabid dog. I’m only graciously offering to put it down,” Jakub remarks with false sincerity from where he and Maksym are restraining Letho. Leon blinks away his shock at Letho’s lack of self-defence; he knows the witcher could easily take these bastards out but he’s just standing there with his head down. 

He grits his teeth as a crowd begins to gather. People love drama, especially when violence is involved. Fuck. “Listen,” Leon starts, coming closer despite the crossbow now turned to him. “Go ahead and hate us all you want, but I can guarantee that if you make any move to attack him you and all your friends will be dead before you even know it. Letho is giving you the courtesy of not retaliating but it’s just thatー a courtesy. His patience is sure to run out soon.” 

Leon holds his breath as a flicker of doubt ripples across the group. Maybe this can end peacefully. But then Daria steps forward, her face twisted with contempt. “We’re gonna do the world a mercy and put this unnatural dog down and thenー” her eyes flash with a mania that makes Leon take a step back. “Then we’ll come for you half-breed.” The moment those words leave her mouth, a flurry of actions too quick for Leon to process unfold. Flashes of steel, bursts of blood, choked cries, and from one blink to the next the entire gang is lying at the feet of Letho and a bloody Athanasi. 

At the sight of his love’s bloody tunic, Leon stumbles toward his partner, mind numb and buzzing. “It’s not mine Leon, it’s okay,” Athanasi soothes, framing Leon’s face and pressing their foreheads together as Leon’s hands scramble along their torso in search of a wound. 

At their reassurance, Leon sags into Athanasi’s grasp. “Thank the gods Letho and Lambert were so eager to train you,” Leon croaks. 

“You did good little spitfire,” Letho says, wiping down and sheathing his sword beside them. Leon raises his head to check on the witcher, but Letho averts his gaze, staring instead at the bodies strewing the streets. “I should leave town,” he rasps. 

Leon turns to the assembled crowd with wariness, preparing himself for the prospect of fleeing his only home. The townsfolk look around with a mixture of uneasiness, uncertainty, and fear. But no hatred. No one is holding stones, calling the guard. In fact, with scattered muttering and furtive nods towards them, the crowd quickly disperses. 

Leon blinks dumbly, processing their reaction, or lack thereof. Odd. Then again, there was no love between Jakub’s gang and the townsfolk. Perhaps they’re happy to be rid of an irritant, happy that they didn't have to get their hands dirty themselves. 

“C’mon,” Ewa murmurs, drawing up beside them, “Let’s have a quiet night in.” 

*******

The rest of Letho’s visit is uneventful fortunately. Despite the rather public violence, the guards never knock on Ewa and Leon's door. The townsfolk keep a bit more distance but Ewa and Leon are already used to being outcasts. Hasn't stopped work orders from pouring in so neither of them are complaining. Leon and Ewa stretch out the creation of Letho’s sword for as long as they can before Letho confronts them about it with an eye roll and a tiny smile. 

When they finally present the finished product to the witcher, he faces it with widened eyes and a whistle. Moving through some formations to test its weight and feel, Letho grins. “Shit, she’s a beauty.” Leon and Ewa can’t help preening, knocking shoulders together with satisfied smiles. 

Soon after, goodbyes and hugs are exchanged, and the group watches Letho gallop away with the open invitation to visit Hagge whenever he wants. The flicker of surprise and glimmer of hope hidden in Letho's eyes tells Leon that this may not be the last time they see the witcher before winter comes.

*******

With Letho gone, things settle back into the regular routine, but not for long. Soon Ewa is possessed with that restless anticipation that always precedes a visit by Ciri. 

“I swear I’m gonna kick you out of the forge if you try to organise our tools by colour tone,” Leon growls as Ewa flits around the room, messing up their perfectly good organisation system. 

“Are you making Leon pull out his nonexistent hair again, love?” a voice drawls in the doorway. Leon sags with relief as Ewa shouts out Ciri’s name and barrels into her love. Thank fuck. He was not ready for Ewa to fly into hyper-organising mode again. 

As the two women reunite in their typical way, Leon hums thoughtfully to himself. Maybe he and Nasi can camp out in the woods for a few nights, give those two some privacy. 

“Ooo like when we met!” Athanasi exclaims when Leon proposes the idea later that afternoon. 

“Yeah, with less getting chased out of towns this time,” he replies drily. 

“You’re no fun,” Nasi grumbles as they brush Biscuit. 

Leon just chuckles, bumping shoulders with Athanasi so they would look up at him. “You know, it’s been about a year since we met,” he murmurs. 

His heart squeezes as Athanasi beams at him. Gods, it’s blinding. “The best year of my life,” they proclaim. 

“Well considering what you’ve told me, that’s not a very high bar,” Leon says wryly. At Nasi’s curious head tilt, Leon laughs quietly to himself. Athanasi’s more literal understanding of language is endlessly endearing. He waves a hand through the air as he clarifies, “You know, like there weren't many positive years you had that this year could compete with.” 

Athanasi pauses their brushing to hum thoughtfully, eyes going distant. “I suppose not,” they say slowly, before shrugging. “But that doesn’t take away from the significance of this year. It’s the year where I learned what it feels to be happy and to be properly fed, and to have a family, not to mentionー” now they blush and smile shyly. “What it feels like to love.” Gods be damned, how can the same creature who has gotten chased out of multiple towns because of comments they’ve made speak with such poetry and heart? Setting aside their brush, Athanasi grasps one of Leon’s hands and presses a kiss to it before entangling his fingers with theirs. “I may not have happy years to compare this one too but I know I’ll have some soon,” they whisper, eyes shining with hope. 

Stepping forward, Leon sweeps Athanasi into a fierce hug, tucking his face into their neck to breathe in the smell of home. “You’ll have a lifetime if I have any say in it,” he says fervently, releasing a shaky sigh as Nasi returns the hug with equal desperation. 

When they drift apart after several long moments, they exchange a brief kiss and soft smiles. “I’ll pack up some things and meet back here, yeah?” At Athanasi’s eager nod, Leon pecks their cheek and hurries back home.

“I’m coming in so please be decent!” Leon announces a few minutes later as he walks through the door with his eyes closed.

He smirks as several thumps and curses sound through their home before a breathless voice says, “Of course we’re decent, rude of you to think otherwise!” 

Leon opens his eyes to shoot Ciri an unimpressed look. “Your tunic’s on backwards.” 

As Ciri curses and works to fix it, Ewa tilts her chin up haughtily as though she wasn’t currently wearing only one boot and partially unlaced trousers. “Did you need something brother mine?” 

“Just some clothes and camping supplies,” Leon replies, pulling out his travel pack and gathering the necessary things. “I love you both and it’s because of that love I insist Athanasi and I sleep in the woods for the next week.” 

Ewa and Ciri trade glances before turning back to Leon. “You might want to make it two weeks,” Ciri suggests, making Leon roll his eyes. 

“Y'all are ridiculous,” he grumbles, double checking his pack before slinging it and his bow over his back. “Remember to air out the house when you’re done,” he calls out, ducking to avoid Ewa’s other shoe thrown at his head. 

“I hope a rabbit shits in your boots!” Ewa shouts. 

“Love you too,” Leon snickers, closing the door with a wink. 

When he gets back to the stable, Athanasi is crooning in a chestnut mare’s ear as they guide the horse into its stall. Leon smiles softly. It’s wonderful seeing Athanasi move with such self-assurance and pride. They don’t look like they’re trying to bend themselves into the person others want them to be anymore, and it’s a relief to see. 

As Leon clears his throat, Athanasi spins around and lights up. “Are you ready to go?” they ask eagerly, bouncing forward. With Leon’s nod, Nasi turns to ensure that the horses and stable are secure before looping their arm into Leon’s. “Lead the way,” they say, grinning up at Leon with a smile Leon will do everything he can to deserve each day of his life. Gods it amazes him some days that his heart can hold so much love for this creature. 

Unlooping their arms so he can twine their fingers together and brush a kiss against Nasi’s knuckles, delighting in their blush, Leon nods towards the woods. “Let’s go on another adventure my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! I truly hope that ending was satisfying for you all, because I have been agonising over it for quite some time. And now it's time for a rambling thank you note:
> 
> When I started this story, my job was just going virtual and my grandfather had died unexpectedly, so I was a bit of a mess. Your enthusiasm and support for this story that does not prominently feature any characters from the show was a complete shock to me and a balm on my heart. Writing this story and reading your comments was a refuge for me in a difficult time in my life and in the world. When I started this, I would never have imagined that it would reach over 80,000 words and 200 pages, the longest individual piece I’ve ever written. And that is all thanks to you. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for your dedicated readership, your kudos, your enthusiasm, your support, and your kindness. Whether you've been reading from the beginning, joined mid-way through, or just stumbled upon this now, thank you. I’m sorry to say goodbye to this story, but I am grateful you came along with me on this journey. <3


End file.
